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My dog Rudy has an iron stomach. He can ingest almost anything and survive. I've caught him eating roach traps, bits of charcoal briquettes, and whole boxes of chocolate. It's not that I leave this stuff lying around, he just gets into things. Being a dog, he likes to consume bodily fluids. Protein, you know.
So he has this terrible habit of eating condoms. Don't lecture me about how I should flush condoms down the toilet, because the San Diego Raw Sewage Company does not appreciate it. Anyway, it's really embarassing when it comes out the other end. I'm never aware he's eaten a condom until I see it in his shit. Which would be OK except that I have roommates and gardeners and there are always random people at my house that sometimes venture into the backyard. Once I saw Rudy in the process of expelling one of these condoms. Forgive me for the crudeness but you really must get the visual on this to appreciate my horror and disgust. I had just let him out into the backyard to do his business, and then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw it. I shit you not - pardon the pun - the condom was being filled up with air as it was coming out, so it was like he was shitting this long, pale, yellow balloon. This was the first time he had ever done such a thing. I was shocked and disturbed. Frankly, it looked rather painful. Now of course I take precautions. It's amazing the way that trash can come back to haunt you. Just because you throw something away doesn't mean it's gone. Be careful with your trash. Guard it. Keep it safe. It can be used against you in a court of law. Somebody wants what you discard, whether it be information, mementos, evidence, or bodily fluids. |