Spinning Out Of Control

The threads of life unravel
foundation crumbles fast away
holding tight unto tomorrow
cant keep a grasp upon today
at a total loss of words
not much else that I can say
cant erase the past
or right all the wrongs I've made
doing time for the crimes I've committed
all the lives that I have played
Tried to sever ties
only opened old wounds instead
mirrors are the enemy
cant bear the sight i see
or the thots within my head
washed away my sins but only took the skin
charted a course back to the beginning but got lost along the way
as i lay in the bed i've made its myself that i must live with
and all my debts to pay.
~~~~C.

The Kiss

The feeling of complete
Sensation Absolute, Divine
White fire from a spark is kindled
My heart to you, for life surrendered.
for there is this burning
that grows from deep within.
More alive than I have ever been.
Take the very breath from my body
As you slowly breathe me in
My mind begins to swim
If death were to come
at a moment such as this
I will know that I have lived,
that I have lived, in one sweet kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~C.

Another Morning

Wake up kissing carpet
can't shake the vice that holds my head
So many days and nights all run together
wishing I was dead
Still holding tight to the empty bottle
in my hand
Blurred memories of the night before
bits and pieces, I don't understand
clothing scattered across the floor
my body screams it can take no more
attempting to crawl on hands and knees
cant find my smokes my lighter or car keys
what a night it must have been
think i'll rest before I start again
~~~~C.

Hopeless Salvation

My salvation lies in a note scrawled in haste
kissed by tears locked in a bottle
cast upon the ocean's vastness
battered by the waves,
tormented by the darkness of a sea
that cares not a thought for me.
~~~~C.

Alone

The words flow so easy from pen to paper
Simply pour forth
To feel so deep
and never be felt
To understand, comprehend,
but be so misunderstood
To have the ability to create
yet choose to live in my own destruction
Sadness overwhelms
Darkness consumes
Hopelessness envelopes
And I am alone.
~~~~C.

Shades of Gray

The walls move in a bit closer
to where I sit cross-legged
in my space upon the floor
No recollection of, in which direction is the door
Out the window a lone leaf falls from grace
How I long to exchange my place
Taking in the shades of gray
can't bring myself to face yet another day
Flesh pulsates, showing signs of life
Sunlight reflects the blade of the knife
Across my skin,
bright crimson flows
Flashes of a memory of color
The velvet petals of the rose
Sweet fragrance, serene release
At long last I embrace awaited peace.
~~~~C.

How's It Gonna Be?

Mental images of something
once so sweet
A love I long to relive
Hard as I wish
As often as I try
Inside the back of my mind
I know that you can only give
the least that you can give.
Every now and again
I feel you
reel in
your emotions
pulling further, farther
away from
the love that once had been,
and still is to me,
my everything.
In your presense
you fill me, consume me
complete me, and I overflow.
But unsurity, insecurity
All around me, surrounded
by intensity
I had never known
I have to ask myself:
How's it gonna be??

~~~~C

Untitled

Where do I go from here?
alone and cold
lying on the floor
can't even feel the earth beneath me
since you went away,the days they just run together
no happiness no sorrow
every moment feels like the last
How I long to go back,live in the past
where I hold such sweet memories of a time of us
Of oneness,all but gone away
stripped of all contentment; robbed, unjustly so
shamed by my inabilities,all I lack to bring you back
to take me back to that precious time
when you filled my arms,
my life,
my mind.
~~~~C.

Turn Around

I'm still standing here
haven't moved from the spot where I was
when you walked away that day so long ago
not once have you looked back, you simply cut ties,
moved on
as I stand I count the endless tears,
the only sign that time still exists....goes on
and as life passes me by,I will stand here
and wait .....for you to turn around.
~~~~C.

I still feel

empty only half of what I used to be
you took a precious part when you went away from me
Oh, the pain.
but it makes it all too real.
And the sorrow,
suffering
reckoning; that I still feel
but happiness, eludes me still.
~~~~C.

Return My Lover's Heart

She was careless with your heart
Something I will never be.
She cut thru you with a bladesman's skill
flipped her hair and turned away,
a smile on her face.
She leaves a trail of sorrow,
a river of tears everywhere she roams
never giving her victims a second thot.
She wears her collection of broken hearts
like medals of battles she's won
no feeling, no emotion moves her,
she just moves on.
And on her journey she'll aquire many
and they will mean no more to her, than yours
when I saw you there,I held you in my arms
you looked at me.
I know it's not me you see,only her
you still have eyes for her
and tho i'd never breathe for myself,only you.
I await the day your heart is yours again
Close your eyes....you still have eyes for her.
It ends before it can begin,
She holds your heart...tore it from your very chest
And so; to her I plead, I cry
A desparate woman's last request
Return my lover's heart.
~~~~C.

.......In My Sleep

I can hear you singing to me in my sleep
A melody so soft, so sweet.
Each and every word meant just for me.
A long awaited serenity.
To my pillow I'll gladly creep,
take my place, front row seat.
I close my eyes and you're within my reach,
Oh how I never want to leave.
No where that I'd rather be,
then here to share the ebony.
In my dreams I find peace, complete.
And yet night, I cannot seem to keep.
Here comes the dawn to torture me,
I long for the darkness, can't you see
For I know the night will bring repeat,
You~singing to me in my sleep.
~~~~C.





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