This is my first attempt at a fanfic spoof so go easy on me ok? It was just 
a thought that came to me so I wrote it down . Some of the 
characters I refer to are members of the pretender listserv so may not 
make sense to people who are not on it. Sorry for that. Let me know 
what you think!

As always The Pretender is the sole Property of NBC and MTM 
entertainment. No infringement intended.

SL 127 
by Nirvana Kliese

 Miss Parker picked up the ringing phone and held it to her ear. 
"What." She snapped, her tone cold as usual.

"Nice warm greeting. You know you could market that, it could 
overtake the warm hello." Jarod smirked into the phone.

Miss Parker sighed. "What do you want?"

"I have something you might like to know." He began.

She chuckled dryly. "Like your location?"

He laughed into the phone. "Nope, more like something about The 
Centre."

She stood silent for a moment, not sure if she wanted to hear what he 
was about to say. "Like what?"

He took a deep breath. "Well it seems that there are a few more sub 
levels that we diddn't know about."

"How many?" She asked, her interest growing all the time.

He paused. "Approximately 100 more." 

Miss Parker froze. "How the hell...? Jarod that would come out in 
China!"

"Well as a matter of fact..."

"Shut up Jarod, I'm serious."

"So am I."

"Jarod that's impossible!" She shot back irritably.

"Nothing's impossible in Hollywood." He shrugged.

"How the Hell did Hollywood get into this!?" She sighed. "We're in 
Blue Cove Delaware remember?" 

"That's where it's set." He explained.

"Where what's set?" She asked, almost amused by his insanity.

"The show. 'The Centre' building is actually a water treatment plant."

"Our lives a show? That's impossible!"

"Why? Do you think that I keep in touch with you and Frankinstein 
for fun? You hate my guts and Syd has to grow up! I do it for family 
values. They help the ratings."

"Jarod what the hell are you talking about?" 

"I'm talking about The Pretender."

"What?"

"Our TV show, well my TV show actually."  

"Yours?! Since when is  this a TV series!?" She shouted, thoroughly 
annoyed by all this.

"Since the end of 1996. When I escaped actually."

"I'm confused. First you tell me our life is a show, then you tell me 
that 'you' are the star?!" 

"Ohh come on Miss Parker! Sure I have the world for women ogling."

"You're a freak, you know that?"

"I still got to be the star of the series." He pouted.

The end of the phone went silent for a moment before she shot back. 
"At least I got a haircut!"

Jarod mumbled irriated.

Miss Parker let out a deep sigh as she lit another cigarette. "So take me 
back to this sub level thing." She asked waving her cigarette in the air.

"I told you."

"You told me that they exist. Not how you found out, or how to get to 
them." She grumbled.

"I don't know." He explained.

"You're a genius for Gods sakes! How don't you know?!"

"Well the show has to have a good underplot, you have to work some 
things out."

"Why?"

He sighed. "Blame the script writers ok?"

She placed the phone back on the receiver and took a caucious look 
around the room. Where were they!

* * * * 

Miss Parker stepped into the elevator and waited for the door to close. 
When it did she ran her hands over the buttons. How the hell did she 
get down to the other sub levels?

She spun around the kicked the wall hard out of frustration and to her 
surprise a panel fell from the wall exposing a board of buttons.

She knelt down beside them and blew the dust off them carefully. She 
stared at them, dumbfounded. He was right.

Before her sat access to all the rest of the sub floors. She shook her head 
in shock. 

She raised her shaking hand and pressed the button for the bottom 
floor. SL 127. The elevator let out a spluttering sound and began a rapid 
decent. 

She leaned back against the wall and let out a deep breath. She hoped 
Jarod was kidding about that China thing.

* * * * 

A long while later the elevator came to a halt, waking Miss Parker 
from a troubled sleep.

Her head shot up and she looked around the elevator through blearly 
eyes. She stared up at the floor number. It simply read "C".

She got to her feet unsurely and pressed the button to unlock the doors. 
They opened steadily exposing a completely different environment. 
She squinted to see a sign in the distance. "Welcome to China." It read 
in several languages.

She stepped from the elevator and looked around. She opened her 
mouth to say something but no words escaped. She stood 
dumbfounded and stared for a moment longer before heading towards 
a large clump of buildings not far off. 

She stood before the first one and shook her head as she read it. "The 
Dragon House. Go anywhere else and It'll just turn out to be a cheap 
Hollywood carbon copy." She repeated aloud. This was really odd.

She walked around the stores for few hours, lost in this new world 
before heading back to the elevator, with a few extra Kimonos in tow.

* * * *

When she arrived back to The Centre's ground level she rushed 
straight to her office. If this whole thing about The Pretender being a 
show was true it had to be on the internet. Sure she diddn't know what 
she was doing but she could learn fast.

She logged on quickly and ran a search. It wasn't long before she found 
that what Jarod had been saying was indeed true. There were dozens of 
pages dedicated to the 'show' and much to her delight quite a few about 
her. After discovering fanfic she subscribed to the mailing list as called 
and sat for hours intrigued by the many posts. She chuckled as they all 
discussed many things, from pez to spam, even her shoes came up at 
one point.

All of a sudden another post caught her eye. Some person called 
Crystalle was posting about a chat channel. She wondered what to do 
for a second before heading for it. What was to lose?

As the IRC loaded slowly she began to think Her whole life was 
becoming more bizarre by the second and she found herself wondering 
who wrote the events of her life.

All of a sudden she crossed her legs realizing her short her skirt was. 
What on earth made her by this? She wondered staring down at it.

Her head shot up and her eyes narrowed. Chi Hyon. 

Just as that thought finished embedding itself into her brain the 
computer let out a beep signaling the IRC had finished loading.

She entered #TheCentre unsurely. Logging on under a different name.

The channel was full and she was soon drawn into an intriguing 
conversation with someone who called themselves "Boy Wonder." 
She thought nothing of this, as most of the other occupants names also 
revolved around the "show".

Their conversation progressed slowly as she got to know him better. 
"Where are you from?" She asked, genuinely curious about this total 
strangers whereabouts.

"I grew up in Blue Cove." He explained.

She smiled down at the screen knowing who it was. "You're Jarod 
aren't you?" She typed.

The response was fast. "I'd answer Miss Parker but you'd catch me."

She laughed softly. "I can't do that."   

"Why's that?" 

"It's not in the script."

 THE END 

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