Disclaimers in Part 1. Part 05 of 11. Hospital 10:00 p.m. Somewhere around ten o'clock, Doctor Andrews convinced Scully to go back to the hotel. Mulder wouldn't be waking up for quite a while-- after he passed out they had given him a sedative to insure his rest, and give the medical staff a break-- and Scully should get some sleep to be fresh for tomorrow. At ten-thirty, Doctor Andrews had finished his rounds and was preparing to go home when he heard gut wrenching screams coming from down the hall. He placed his briefcase back on the desk and followed the sounds to Mulder's room. But he could never have prepared himself for the scene he was about to witness. Mulder's legs were wrapped and twisted in the sheets. His IV was once again dislodged and blood dripped from his left arm, onto his hand and down his fingers. His head was thrown back, features twisted in a grimace, his hair damp from fear and fever. "Scully," he mumbled. His head lolled around on the pillow like it wasn't attached properly to his neck. "Scully. Gotta find.... Joanna. Joanna and Katie." He groaned loudly and took a deep rasping breath. "Joanna is.... the key. She..." In his sleep, he whimpered then stopped. His neck relaxed and his head dropped on a quite uncomfortable angle to the side. With a deep sigh, Doctor Andrews glanced at his patient one last time, then left. Hospital 8:13 a.m. Mulder was surprised to see sunlight streaming through his window when he opened his eyes. He thought it was night. He narrowed his eyes trying to remember what happened last night, but came up empty. He remembered that Scully was talking about Katie, but then what? He was still trying to come up with an answer when the morning nurse walked in. "Morning, Agent Mulder," she said cheerfully and went over to check his IV. Mulder looked at her confused. "Morning?" he rasped, confused and surprised at the sound of his voice. His throat was raw and felt like a bed of cotton. His head hurt. But confusion rose over all of that. "Yes, Agent Mulder. It's 8 a.m.," she said as she took his wrist to check his pulse. "8 a.m.? What happened last night?" Mulder sat up, his head protesting the move. But he needed to get to the bottom of this. The nurse just smiled. "I'll get the doctor." She was gone as soon as she said that. Mulder just rubbed his head. He looked down and noticed that his IV was in a different place. So, instead of one nice little bruise, he had two. He frowned and laid back. He felt like shit. He was just to tired to think. He was about to close his eyes when Dr. Andrews walked into his room. He looked at Mulder carefully, eyeing him seeming to expect the worst to happen. He took Mulder's chart in his hands. He opened the chart, glancing over it. He closed it and looked at Mulder with his best professional look. "How are you feeling?" he asked, even though he knew the answer. "Like shit. How are you?" Mulder deadpanned, then broke into a series of coughs. Finally he looked up and asked, with a serious look, "What happened last night?" "You really want to know?" Dr. Andrews asked evenly. Mulder nodded. "You stopped breathing. For a couple of minutes. Then you passed out. It's not unusual for you not to remember. Trust me, you wouldn't want to remember." Mulder squinted and tried to recall that. "Why?" The doctor didn't meet his eyes. "I don't know." Motel 8:25 a.m. Scully finished brushing her hair, setting the brush on the dresser and glanced toward the open door between hers and Mulder's rooms. Mulder's room was in the same condition he left it in--tangled sheets, clothes on the floor, and his suitcase sitting open in a corner. Scully thought and bundled some of the clothes on the floor into her arms. She heard her cell phone ringing from the other room, so she dumped the clothes on Mulder's bed and went to answer it. "Scully." Scully took the phone into Mulder's room. "He's awake, Doctor Scully." Scully smiled at that. She had asked Dr. Andrews to call her when Mulder awoke. "Thanks, I'll be there soon," she said and pushed the end button. She got Mulder's toothbrush from the bathroom, along with his shaving cream. This was something she did for him every time he was in the hospital. she thought Hospital 9:07 a.m. Mulder looked up at the ceiling and counted the ceiling cracks for the hundredth time. Scully had taken away his case files, he had noticed. Mulder still shuddered when he thought of what Andrews told him about last night. He probably scared the hell out of Scully, as well. he thought. He looked down at his hand, itching to take his IV out. The tube under nose was bothering him, and if not for the people were coming in and out of his room, he would have taken it off a long time ago. He glanced around the room. he thought and he reached his hand up to his nose. "Don't even think about it, Mulder." Mulder looked at the door and saw his red-headed partner with her eyebrows raised in a look that said 'do it and die.' Mulder dropped his hand. "I wasn't going to-" "Yeah and I believe in little green men." "_Gray_ men, Scully. How many times do I have to tell you?" Mulder gave a mock sigh of frustration. He noticed a Dunkin' Donuts bag in her hand. "Ah, Scully. What did you bring me?" he said, staring at the bag. "Nice to see you're feeling better." "Slightly," he answered and Scully's hand reached for his forehead. "You still have a fever," she said, frowning. "Yeah, but it's not stopping me from eating what's in that bag." Scully sighed. "It's a bagel, Mulder. Just a bagel." "Still better than the stuff they call food here." Scully smiled, remembering the taste of hospital food. "Are you sure you can keep it down?" Mulder dropped his eyes down. "I'd better," he muttered. Scully plopped down in the chair by the bed. "Seriously, Mulder?" Mulder looked up at that word. "How do you feel?" "Seriously?" "Seriously." "Well, my head hurts, my throat hurts, and my chest hurts. It feels like someone had a boxing match with my lungs." Mulder brought into a fit of coughing. "And won," he choked out when he finished. "Well, they almost did, Mulder." Scully still felt shaky about last night. Mulder had stopped breathing, for no reason at all. It was something you didn't take lightly. "I'm assuming Dr. Andrews told you about last night," she said quietly. "Yeah." Silence filled the room. Neither wanted to think of that moment. Losing each other was just too much to even think about. "So, how about that bagel?" Mulder asked, smiled. Scully tossed the bag at him, laughing. The Martin's Rutherford, NJ 9:26 a.m. WHAT D'YA MEAN I COULD TAKE CARE OF HER TOO IF YOU WANT YOU WANTED IT YOU SAID INCAPACITATE HIM Katie took a deep breath and held it, trying to hold her patience along with it. Joanna sounded hurt. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH TAKING ANSWERS FROM ME Hospital 9:28 a.m. The bagel didn't stay down. After a change of clothes and a round of frustrated sobbing from Mulder, he now lay back in bed, eyes staring lazily down at his chest, his brain fogged with anti-nausea medication. Scully held his hand, softly stroking the web between his thumb and forefinger with her own small thumb. "Agent Scully, may I have a word with you?" "Mm?" She turned to see Andrews leaning in the doorway. "Oh, sure." Doctor Andrews held out Mulder's chart for her inspection. When she finished reading it she looked up. "He's dehydrated." "Not only is he dehydrated, despite an IV line we finally managed to keep established, his temperature is remaining at a steady 102.5. He seems to be responding well to Valium or anything else that temporarily puts him out of discomfort, but once we try to control the virus, it rages back, making his fever spike. So, I think we're going to have to let him ride this one out, making him as comfortable as possible, and see what happens." Scully continued to stare down at the chart. "...see what happens..." she repeated slowly, and swallowed hard. Hospital 1:34 p.m. "Smntha," he mumbled. Scully looked up. Mulder was rolling around in bed, sheets tangled around his legs, shuddering. She put a hand on his arm and felt the fever rising from him. "Smntha.... Scully! Don't..." He rolled over again so his face was in the pillow, and rested there, still shaking. She sighed but looked up when Mulder groaned loudly in his sleep. she thought. <> He began sobbing. <> Mulder wouldn't stop shaking and it was starting to scare her. "Mulder, c'mon, just a dream, c'mon, wake up, now. Can you wake up for me, now? C'mon." Scully grasped his shoulders and shook. "Wake up, Mulder." The Martin's Rutherford, NJ 1:40 p.m. "Katie, c'mon down. You've been in your room all day.... c'mon down, we'll go do something." "No, later, mom," she said. NO... Joanna said, and Katie thought she sounded scared. HE'S JUST... DREAMING. HE'LL BE OKAY YES NO.... I DIDN'T MAKE THEM. AND EVEN IF I DID MAKE THEM I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE THEM BACK... THESE ARE HIS OWN DREAMS. I THINK HE'S BEEN HAVING THEM FOR A LONG TIME Frustrated that she couldn't do anything, Katie called down, "Mom, I'm coming." WAIT.... WHERE ARE YOU... Jen's pick-up Katie ignored the walls and ran downstairs. She had to stop this. "Mom?" Christina looked up and smiled. "You're finally getting out of that room," she said with a bit of relief. She picked up her purse. "So where should we go?" Katie took a deep breath. "I want to go to the hospital, Mom. I need to talk with Agent Scully." Hospital 2:03 p.m. Scully sighed as she repositioned herself in the uncomfortable chair. Mulder had finally settled down and stopped thrashing about. She knew it was only temporary, though. Mulder's nightmares always returned, and were especially magnified when he was sick. She glanced at his sleeping form. She wished there was something she could do. Scully, herself, had had a few nightmares (more than she would like) since her abduction. She never told Mulder about them, so she couldn't scold him for not talking to her. Scully closed her eyes in frustration. She just wanted this case solved, but most of all, she wanted her partner well. She knew he had stood by her own hospital bed many times. She could pick out his voice. She knew the words that her brother, Bill Jr., had said to him, blaming him for her illness. For her pain. But the saddest thing was Mulder believed that. She knew, still to this day, he believed that. She sighed again. Nothing she could ever say could stop him from blaming himself. "Agent Scully?" A voice shook Scully out of her thoughts. She looked toward the doorway and saw Christina Martin standing with Katie. Christina had her arms on Katie's shoulders, as if she were protecting her from something. "We're sorry to disturb you, but the doctor said you were here." Christina looked to the bed. "How is he?" "He's stable," Scully answered. She rubbed her weary eyes. "I can see you're tired, Agent Scully. We can come back later." Christina steered Katie to the door. "No, I'm fine," Scully said, and Christina stopped. "Why are you here?" Mrs. Martin looked at Katie, urging her. Finally Katie spoke in a shaky voice, "I wanted to talk to you." "Ok," Scully said, interested in what Katie had to say. "I'm going to get a cup of what they call 'coffee' in the cafeteria. We can talk there." Scully grabbed her cell phone, and casting one long worry-filled glance at Mulder, she walked out the door. Hospital Cafeteria 2:18 p.m. Scully placed her coffee on the table and faced Katie. Katie glanced at her mom, giving her a look that said she wanted to talk to Agent Scully alone. Mrs. Martin left saying she would be back after she did her grocery shopping. Scully watched Katie look at the walls worriedly, then smiled. "You know, they do say the walls have ears," Katie said, trying to joke, though Scully had a feeling she was serious. Dead serious. Scully waited as Katie hesitantly continued. "When Sarah was playing the piano, all everyone would say was how good she was, and how pretty she looked up there. My sister, Sarah Martin, perfect in every way." Katie sighed. DON'T TELL HER. YOU'LL REGRET IT. DON'T TELL HER. SHE WON'T BELIEVE YOU. THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK. KEEP QUIET. Scully watched Katie look at the walls, as if she were communicating with them. "When Sarah was up there playing her piece," Katie started, her voice shaking as she did. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. "I was jealous. I wished she was dead." The tears started falling down her cheeks, sobs getting louder and louder. "I didn't mean for it to come true." Scully's heart went out for the girl. She dug into her pocket and handed her a tissue. "It's not your fault," she said, lifting Katie's chin up. Katie shook her head. "No, you don't understand. It _is_ my fault." She sobbed and then her head shot straight up. NOW YOU DID IT. I CAN'T HELP YOU NOW. Suddenly all the lights around Katie and Scully grew dark. Hospital Cafeteria Rutherford, NJ 2:20 p.m. "What the--?" Scully turned sharply around as the lights flickered and dimmed to black. Katie's words still rang in her ears: "No, you don't understand. It _is_ my fault." How could it.... one thing at a time. Scully had just stood up, prepared to find some technicians and get them to start up the electricity (losing electricity in a hospital was an extremely dangerous thing, most of the patients were hooked up to various machines that needed to be running to keep them stable), when the lights came back on. She breathed a sigh of relief and sat down again. "Katie, I'm sorry, what were you saying?" "I was... I..." she was torn. "I said it IS my fault that Sarah is dead. I wished she was dead and..." "Katie," Scully said softly. "We know you didn't do it, you were sitting down, far away from your sister as was everyone else." Katie had begun to cry. Scully placed a hand on her arm, awkwardly trying to comfort her. "It's okay. Shh, it's okay, we know you didn't do it." "But I DID!" Half of the occupants of the cafeteria turned towards Katie. A wide-spread glare from Scully caused them to turn back to their own conversations. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU? TAKE CHARGE? HA, THAT'S A GOOD ONE. KATIE, YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING BY YOURSELF! YOU WERE ALWAYS IN SARAH'S SHADOW TILL I CAME ALONG. FACE IT- YOU'RE NOTHING WITHOUT ME Katie was outraged. She pounded her fist on the table. "Just go away! I don't need you and I never did! And it wasn't me who killed Sarah, it wasn't me." Scully, who had been speaking softly the whole time, trying to get Katie's attention, was alarmed by her outburst and silenced abruptly. "Katie, are you okay? Katie-- we know you didn't kill her." Katie ignored her. There was no answer. No answer. "Katie, are you okay?" Scully asked again. She looked up and smiled. "Yeah." Hospital 2:55 p.m. After speaking to Katie and her mother for another few minutes, Scully left them to go check on Mulder. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully, so she decided to go back to the hotel for a shower and a lunch/dinner type meal at the Village Gourmet. It was almost four forty-five when she decided to go back to the hospital to check on Mulder. On her way down the sterile hallway to Mulder's room, Doctor Andrews caught up with her. "Doctor Scully," he said. "Have you been to see Mulder?" Noting the concern in his voice, she frowned. "Not for a couple hours, why?" Andrews took a deep breath. "He's taken a turn for the worse. Come with me." When she entered Mulder's room, Scully immediately noticed that the oxygen cannula had been replaced with a respirator tube down his throat. She shook her head. "Mulder's gonna have a hissy fit when he wakes up and feels that." "It couldn't be helped, he stopped breathing for a minute and a half. We still can't figure out what's causing it, but this should make it so it won't happen again. I do recommend that you're near by when he wakes up though, just to keep him calm." Scully nodded. "Did you give him anything to put him out?" Andrews shook his head and fingered Mulder's chart. "Nope, he passed out again, like the last time. It wasn't as bad this time... he stopped breathing for a minute and a half, then he seemed fine and he was getting enough oxygen.... then about a minute after he recovered, he stopped breathing again, just for 10 seconds, and passed out immediately after." Scully had pulled up a chair to the side of his bed and seated herself. "There's one more thing," Doctor Andrews continued. "His fever's spiked. A little above 103, but it was sudden enough to cause quite an uproar. The nurses gave him a sponge bath which he slept through-- too bad, it probably would've been quite an enjoyable experience for him-- and that brought the temp down to 102.9, but not nearly enough as it should've. I've got him on Saline to keep him hydrated, which should help a little, but we're going to have to ride this out. I'll get you a washcloth you can bath his face and arms and chest in, that might help, but..... I'm just scared to try any other medication. If the fever goes much higher, he'll be on the point of convulsions, and we DON'T want to go there." Scully nodded silently. "All right," she said finally. "Can you get me the washcloth please?" She stroked Mulder's damp hair. "Sure, I'll be right back." Hospital 10:30 p.m. Scully rubbed her tired eyes for what seemed the hundred time. As she shifted positions in the still very uncomfortable chair next to Mulder's bed, she sighed. She glanced again at Mulder's still form, the sound of the respirator echoing throughout her mind. Scully glanced at her cell phone on her lap. She should call Skinner and let him know what was up. She even considering calling Mulder's mom. But she knew that woman won't exactly care. In fact, she seemed to remind Scully a bit of Mrs. Wasserman. Scully suddenly got a pang of sympathy for Joanna. Scully grabbed her cell phone and stood up, and paced. She paced Mulder's room, back and forth thinking. Her thoughts wandered to the case, how Katie had reacted in the cafeteria, crying then suddenly stopping. She wished that would be the last she would hear about this case, but knew it probably wasn't. Glancing back over at Mulder, she frowned. How many times was he going to scare her? She sat back down in her chair, her eyes watching the monitors that had been added to the clutter of Mulder's room. Soon, she knew, they would probably move him down to ICU. He probably would have been there already, if not for the huge load the ICU already had, due to an auto accident a few days ago. Scully pulled her chair closer to Mulder and took his hand. As she sat there she wondered if this was the way Mulder felt when he was at her bedside. She knew he had held back from her about his feelings, how he blamed himself for her being in that hospital bed. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't hers. Bad things just happen. They just do. Scully looked at her cell phone again, thinking of how many times she had been called on that phone, how many times the voice on the other end told her to come down to the hospital, Mulder's been hurt again. She often teased Mulder on how times he had been to the hospital, though sadly, deep inside, she was frightened. She was scared that one of the times he wouldn't come home. she thought, looking out the window. She understood. She was not afraid of dying. Not since her abduction. As she had told Mulder she was sure of one thing in this life: there was nothing to fear when it's over. But she hoped it would be years from then, it fact, more than 3 years had passed from that night, and in that time, they had faced other dangers. Mulder faced his demons; she had faced her cancer. But she had overcome her cancer (at least for now), but she knew Mulder was far from overcoming his demons. But those thoughts aside, Scully knew what she was most afraid of. That he faced death before she had a chance to tell him she really cared. To tell him she loved him. She felt a tear roll down her check. Scully's cell phone rang and brought her back to earth. She rubbed her eyes and flipped open her phone. "Scully." Only silence followed. "Damn hangups." Scully listened to the dial tone that followed, suddenly getting a huge urge to call her mother. She finally hit the end button, not wanting to burden her mother with her rambling. Though she was supposed to have dinner at her house in two days, her mother knew that may change because of the case she was assigned. Scully sighed again. Her blue eyes strayed again to the bed, but the sight brought a small smile to her lips. She saw Mulder's fingers move and leaned closer to him, entwining her fingers in his. She saw his eyelids flutter. "Mulder," she said softly. Mulder opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was the blob of red above his face. He felt Scully's fingers around his. But he also felt the tube down his throat, and hated it. He instinctively gagged. "Whoah, Mulder. I know you don't like it, but don't fight it." Scully's voice was gentle, caring. Mulder understood what she was saying, but he still didn't like it. He gagged again. "Mulder, let it do the work. Just relax, and then I'll get the doctor." She had a worried look on her face, but it seemed to be combined with a small smile. Seeing her smile made him relax a little. He stopped gagging. Just as long as he could see Scully he'd be fine. Scully knew that too. She leaned over the bed and pressed the nurses call button A minute later, a petite brown-haired nurse walked into Mulder's room.. Scully looked at her name tag. Peggy. "Peggy, could you tell Doctor Andrews that Agent Mulder's awake?" "Sure, Dr. Scully," Peggy replied, then left the room with the message. Scully turned away from Mulder and toward the door. As soon as she looked away, Mulder started gagging again. Scully immediately turned back and calmed him. She stroked his cheek and whispered, "it's okay, just relax." And that's how Dr. Andrews found her. Sitting on the edge of Mulder's bed, stroking his cheek and whispering. "Ahem." Scully looked and saw Dr. Andrews looking at them. He held Mulder's chart in his hand. Scully blushed and got off of the bed. Mulder's eyes followed hers and as soon as she stood away from him, he started gagging again. "Mulder, don't fight it," she said softly again, then turned to the doctor. "How much longer does he stay on the respirator?" Mulder looked up at her, pleading when she asked that question. Dr. Andrews looked down at his chart, and tapped his pen. "I think we can remove it now, but another episode and he's," He paused and looked directly at Mulder on the bed, "Back on it for awhile longer." Fifteen minutes later, Scully was back at her place at the edge of Mulder's bed. Mulder had put up a fight when doctor insisted he stayed on oxygen, but other than that, Mulder seemed to be on good behavior. His temperature was down to 101.9. "I really hate this thing," Mulder said, his voice horse and low, and pointed to the oxygen cannula under his nose. "Well, we could just go back to the respirator," Scully teased. "Well, it's not that bad," Mulder said quickly. He looked up her. He still felt like crap. His head hurt, his throat hurt, and for once he didn't want to even think about food, but he noticed the circles under Scully's eyes. "You need some sleep," he said, his eyes concerned. Scully smiled. "I'm fine," she started, but seeing his eyes she continued, "But I'm going to go back to the motel soon, I promise." "Good." For a minute they just stared at each other, not speaking. Their eyes seemed to read each other's, though neither spoke outloud. Finally Mulder looked down at his IV. "So how's the case?" he said. "Still there. Still unsolved." Scully got up and went the window sill and got the folder off of it. "This is going with me." "Anything happen?" "Katie came to talk to me," Scully said suddenly. "She did?" Mulder lifted his head off the pillow, interested. Scully just walked over and pushed his head back down. "Yes. But nothing big happened. I took her down to the cafeteria and she broke down, saying she was responsible for Sarah's death." "She did?" Mulder's voice perked up, causing him to twinge. "You should rest your vocal cords, Mulder. Yes, but it was just hysterics. She was just guiltstricken. She said she wished her sister dead." Mulder eyes peaked up again at that one. Scully sighed. "Mulder, I've thought the same thing about any of my siblings many times during my childhood. It's natural. It just happened at a bad time." "But, Scully-" Scully cut him off. "You need your rest, Mulder. I'm going to get mine. We'll talk tomorrow." She pulled the covers around him tighter. Only then did Mulder realize how tired he was. He felt his eyes start to close. "'Night Mulder," she said softly. "'Night Scully," he whispered back. End Part 05 of 11.