15."'Biodome' and 'In the Army Now' both sucked,
why should this one be any different?"
14."My new diet requires me to eat a quart of
beans every 15 minutes."
13."I'm currently under treatment for 'menage a
twelve' addiction."
12."My religion forbids me removing my beer hat!"
11."Your puny Earth laws are no concern of mine,
magistrate."
10."Pick me, Your Honor -- I can *smell* guilt!"
9."Dear sirs pleeze excuze Matt from jury dooty
his grandma dide. Sinseerly, Matt's mom."
8."Do I get to slap the scumbags around like
Detective Sipowicz?"
7."Your Honor, *any* jury I'M on would be hung."
6."I wouldn't want to destroy my remaining shred
of faith in the judicial system by actually seeing
it in action."
5."I'm Judge Wapner and ALL you sons of
bitches are guilty!"
4."I'm unable to sit in the jury box without barking
and crying out for Arsenio."
3."I couldn't possibly be impartial-- the defendant
is my arch-enemy, and I'm... Cheddar Man!"
2."Tastes great? Less Filling? Both sound pretty
convincing to me."
and the Number 1 Excuse for Avoiding Jury Duty...
1."I just can't stop giggling whenever someone
says, 'All rise.'"
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