None of the charas of the Castlevania series belongs to me, ok?? So DO NOT sue me!!! ^__^

I will furthermore only accept the flames of love, and no other flames, you hear?! ~___^

WARNING!!!!: This fic contains (or *will* at least) SHONEN AI, and a bit of YAOI, eg. BOYS WITH BOYS, and as in all of my fics, a lot of ANGST... ^__^;;

... don’t ask me why I put in so much angst...^^;;

If you have a problem with any of the contents that I have promised will be part of this fic (look above: ‘bold letters’), don’t read!! It is your own choice whether to read, or not. I’m not forcing anyone to read my fics, and I am sure no one else is, so don’t come crying to me about your damaged psyche after you’ve read this fic....

Remember: I WARNED YOU!!!! ~_____^

Send your thoughts to: sakura_chan@starplace.com

Harigatou Gozaimaaasu, minna-san!!

~Nocturne in the Moonlight ~ The Cup of Eternal Love

~Chapter Two~

Richter awoke to the sound of rain pattering on the windows, in the otherwise ghostly silent room. He felt comfortably cooled, not at all like the feverish blur he had been haunted by the day before. He turned to his side, and nuzzled into the comfortable embrace of the blond dhampire named Alucard.
For a moment, he didn’t even notice, he didn’t even care, that he had slept in the arms of a man who he should have stayed away from. He was after all a vampire hunter, as all of his ancestors had been.

A disgruntled sound came from the dhampire, as he blearily opened his eyes, gazing directly at the beautiful locks of brown hair that the mortal possessed.

....so beautiful... he thought, while running a tender hand through the soft hair, ..I truly am fortunate, to have such a wonderful creature beside me. “Richter... are you awake yet?” he asked quietly, in order not to wake him if he was asleep.

“Mhmmm....” was the reply he got from the mortal, “..I’m up, I’m up...Just give me a few more minutes...”

On the inside, Alucard smiled fondly, his eyes never leaving Richter’s face, as it was comfortably settled on his shoulder.

“...Alucard...” an unsure voice came from Richter’s lips.

“Yes?”

“...I... didn’t.... kiss you last night, did I?”

Alucard nodded, and stroke the side of Richter’s worried face. “Just as I kissed you.”

Richter gasped, as if his worst fears had come to life. He shook his head in a silent ‘No!’, and turned away from Alucard’s arms. “What is the matter, Richter?”

“This is wrong!!” he grunted, struggling to get up and out of bed, away from Alucard, “We kissed, and then you slept with me!! This is what’s the matter!!!” But he failed, and was forced to stay where he was. The wounds on his torso and back would not allow him to go anywhere.

“Richter. We slept together. We kissed, and then we slept together. Is that really so wrong?”

“Yes, it is!”

Alucard felt his eyebrows scrunch themselves together when he heard Richter’s sobbing voice. What could he do to rid him of the stress? “Richter...” he tried once more, and pulled Richter close to his chest, even though he wouldn’t turn around, “What are you so afraid of? Tell me, I beg of you.”

“..I... I’m afraid of you ...” he replied.

Alucard tried to hide how startled he was, and continued stroking Richter’s chest and arms. After a short moment of thinking, he decided to ask: “What is most frightening about me? The fact that I am a dhampire? Or, that I am a man, just like you?”

“I don’t know.” Richter whimpered, quivering in Alucard’s arms, fighting against how good it felt to have him so close, to have his cold arms around his waist and chest.

“Maybe, what frightens you most, is what I make you feel... As you said yourself, I did ruin everything you had worked so hard to keep intact, with just the sound of my voice...”

Richter shivered at the bubbling chills running up his spine as Alucard whispered into his ear. “No...” he gasped, refusing to let it get to him.

“Tell me, Richter, do you love me?” Alucard murmured so close to Richter’s ear, that his lips barely touched it.

“No.”

“Then, are you perhaps infatuated with me?” he breathed, daring to nibble on that bright red earlobe.

“No!..I-I cannot..!” Richter panicked, to know that everything he had ever dreamt of, was about to happen if he didn’t do anything to stop it.

“You can’t what!?”

“I....I mustn’t!”

“What mustn’t you do?” Alucard whispered, his voice softened, as he slowly ran his hands over Richter’s chest and collarbone.

“I mustn’t fall for you!!” Richter cried out, desperation shredding his voice into nothing. He thrashed about, trying frantically to free himself of that blissful embrace, not even scarcely feeling it when Alucard pulled him if possible, even closer.

“Richter...” he spoke softly, reassuringly, “Calm yourself... You have to be still, or you will only hurt yourself.” he kissed the skin just behind Richter’s ear, nuzzling the dark brown hairline fondly.

“Please...don’t do this to me... please...” Richter whimpered, so afraid of what Alucard made him feel. His warm breath on his skin made him tremble in response. He couldn’t believe how his body betrayed him so. Every touch, every breath, and every move the dhampire made, caused Richter’s whole body to burn. It made him tense, even though he figured Alucard was trying to calm him.

“Richter...” the pale dhampire mumbled, painting kisses all over his neck, feeling how lust overwhelmed him. The urge to just make mad, mind-melting love to Richter made him feel so weak, so out of control of himself. He knew he mustn’t do such a thing. Not now. Not for as long as Richter felt insecure. Not for as long as he was injured. A low growl escaped him as the evidence of his arousal began to ache between his legs. “Richter...” he groaned, desperately trying to keep control of himself. Why wasn’t Richter as affected by this closeness as much as he was? Was he the only one here who was going to pieces? But a gasp told him otherwise. Richter had clearly noticed his arousal.

“Alucard ...!” he gasped, his whole body stiffening as he couldn’t escape feeling what was happening to Alucard, nothing more separating them than the shirts they wore. After some regaining of self control, Alucard moved away from Richter’s quivering frame.

“Forgive me. It was never my intention to...”

But before he had the slightest chance to finish his sentence, Richter turned around to face him, his eyes wilder than an animal. “Alucard!” he cried out, before crushing his lips, holding his face in his hands, refusing to let go.

A mumbled protest came from within Alucard’s mouth, unable to be fully heard because of the position he was currently in. Richter ravished his lips, as if he would never kiss him again. Kissed him like a man walking in the desert for endless days, stumbling over an oasis, filled to the brim with clear water.

Yes, like a starving man, he kissed him, tasting his lips as if they were of the most exquisite taste, drinking in the feelings swirling to his head like a man plagued by a thirst so profound, he couldn’t go by without water to quench it. What am I doing? Alucard thought to himself, I cannot be a part of this...letting him doing this, hurting himself more than he knows ...No! I cannot participate!

Alucard put his hands on Richter’s shoulder, and gently pushed at him, to move away. But, he found he missed the feeling greatly when those sweet lips were removed from his cold ones.

“Alucard... Oh, Alucard... Gods, why can I not stop this madness!!” Richter gasped, too weak to sit up, to much in pain to lie down, “Why can’t I relief myself of this desire to be with you?” he asked, his eyes looking at Alucard with a plead shining in them.

“... Richter... My sweet, sweet Richter...” Alucard said, stroking the flushed cheeks of the man resting beside him, “I don’t know what God, or his likes, have in store for us. But, I do know, that if we both don’t leave you to rest, you will surely suffer greatly. I do not wish to hurt you, Richter. But I have no idea as to how I can take well care of you. The wounds are healing too slow, in my opinion, and your fever seems to only leave your body for merely an hour or so, before it savagely haunts it again.” he sighed, nuzzling his face in Richter’s soft hair. A moment went by without either of them saying anything. At first a comfortable silence, but then, tensing, as Richter felt he had to speak his mind.

“... Alucard...”

“Yes?”

“.... Do you desire me?” came the unsure voice of the tired mortal man, who rested his hand on Alucard’s chest, tracing the area where he could feel the dull thuds of the dhampire’s heart beat through his flesh and skin.

“Yes. Yes, Richter, I desire you, your company and your companionship...”

“No, I didn’t mean it that way...” he whispered, feeling his cheeks blush like some young girl’s, “Do you feel lust... for me?”

The question startled Alucard, not knowing what to say. He was silent for a moment, and then turned on his side, so he could look into the young mortal’s eyes. “I feel lust for you, Richter. But, you are a mortal man, and even if I were not what I am, our relationship would bring certain consequences. Could you bear with me? Knowing what I am, could you still love me the same?” he asked, hoping that the answer wouldn’t be what he feared.

But Richter’s fever-glistening eyes shone at him, and a smile graced his features. A smile, that went straight to Alucard’s heart, touching a part of him that no one had dared to in so many eternities. “Yes, Alucard. I still love you the same. I promise I’ll not forget you, or what you are! I’ll not disappoint you, Alucard, I assure you!”

“Good.” the dhampire said, his amber eyes radiating a soft glow of newfound joy, “Then, I would like to share something with you. Will you let me?”

Richter looked at him, not knowing what to expect, but nodded.

“What is it?” he asked, suddenly feeling very special, almost chosen. Chosen to share with the most wonderful, beautiful creature something most sacred. He could only hope it was as special as he felt it was.

“I want to share with you my mortal name, Richter. Only a few people have known through the years since I was born. Would you let me tell you?” Richter had been wrong. It was even more special, even more sacred than he had ever hoped for. Speechless, he nodded, feeling how tears sprung to his eyes, and not even caring about wiping them away. Alucard lifted his hand to wipe the tears away, and kissed his forehead tenderly.

“From now on, I wish that you would call me by the name of Adrian... It is the name my mother gave me, Richter. If you would call me by this name, it would be the greatest honor.”

“...Adrian... My Adrian...” Richter breathed, in amazement over the wonder presented to him, “What a wonderful name she bestowed upon you.” Richter sighed, running a hand through the dhampire’s long hair, smiling all the while he gazed into those amber eyes.

“Then, you like it?”

“Yes, yes! I love it!! ...it suits you much better than ‘Alucard’...” Richter smiled, knowing that he blushed, feeling how his cheeks were heated to the point of burning. Adrian... such a beautiful name... Richter thought, pulling himself closer yet to his beloved dhampire. He felt how heavy his whole body went after a few moments of lying there, listening to the soft breaths and steady throbbing of his immortal’s heart. His eyelids went heavier by the minute, and he was lulled to sleep by the soft humming of an ancient song, that came from the soft lips touching his forehead in a never-ending kiss.

...Adrian... don’t you ever leave me... don’t ...don’t...leave me all alone again... Adrian ... My loved one...

*******

As the first rays of sunlight made their way into Richter’s consciousness, he grumbled in his fatigue. As he squinted his eyes open, he heard a kind voice talking to him. “...and that’s how I came to work here... Oh! You’re finally awake Mr. Belmont!”

The voice didn’t belong to his blond dhampire friend, that much he gathered. And, who was it, that had intruded upon their only private space? “What?” he groggily slurred, trying to sit up, but slumping right back into the pillows, “Where am I?...Hnnnhh...” he grunted as his head hurt, his body flushing with fever still.

“Lie still, sir. You shouldn’t move in your condition...” the young redheaded girl sitting next to him said, wringing the water from a cloth and applying it to his burning forehead, “You are at the town cottage hospital, Mr. Belmont. You have been here for the last few days...” she went silent, looking at him with a look on her face. After a moment had passed, she put her hand on his and squeezed it softly.

“I know it must hurt to have your wife leave you like that, Mr. Belmont, but you should not have ventured into the woods unarmed at night!! What would we do without our most prominent vampire hunter? We would be left defenseless, I tell you!!” she sighed, not noticing the shrug that Richter involuntarily gave off. He remembered how he had been in a cottage, deep in the woods, tended to by the serene dhampire. He remembered how mortified he had been at having the beauty so close to him, that he had broke down and confessed his love to him. A kiss, and then more kisses exchanged. He shrugged. But, if he was here, and had been here for the last few days, when had he been at the cottage? Had it all been just a fleeing dream of something unattainable? Was it all some stupid fantasy come to life in the web of his dreams? He couldn’t be sure, but neither could he hope that it had been true.

“...Adrian...” he breathed silently, softly remembering the most painful moment in his life, and in the same time, most beautiful.

“Is that the name of the man who brought you here?” the young woman asked, a smile suddenly lighting her face up, “He was very handsome, that man. And if Adrian is his name, then, I would have to say, it suits him well.”

“Someone brought me here? Who did?” Richter felt hope and fear rise within him, all at once, he had to know, “Was he paler than the moon itself?”

“Well, yes...”

“Was his eyes of amber, pale as ...as...”

“Yes, sir. But...”

“And his hair, was it... Flowing off his shoulders? Th-the palest blond hair you have ever laid eyes upon?”

“Yes...Mr. Belmont. Now hush, and rest yourself. I’m sure your friend hasn’t abandoned you ...”

“Yes, but...tell me one more thing, please, miss.” She nodded, smiling kindly at his tired, fever-assaulted person. “Did...did he say anything? ..anything he wanted me to know?”

Clearly, the young woman could see the desperation in his eyes, hear it in his voice. She shook her head apologetically, and he felt his chest tighten. “No, sir. I’m afraid he did not.” she stood up from the chair by his bed, and gave him a faint smile, picking up the bowl of water. Her kind voice warmed him, even though he much more longed for the cold touch of the dhampire, the way he had been in his dreams.

It was only a dream... he thought miserably, ...It never happened... He doesn’t love me... He never tended to my wounds, and he never kissed me, or wrapped his arms around me to comfort my sleeping... he bit back a sob from escaping his throat, and hid his face under his arm. He took a deep breath to relieve the pain from behind his eyelids. Why did it hurt? Not only was it physical, but it dug its way down to the very core of his being. It was such a disgrace, to feel how hot tears seeped through the slits of his eyelids without him able to stop them.

Damn you, Richter!! he cursed at himself, ...Crying like a spoiled brat, over what? A dhampire, whom you should’ve not even bothered with in the first

place!! He sighed, using all of his self-control not to sob.

“Richter!” a gasp overwhelmed him, startling him, and he instantly ripped his arm away from his face, and stared up at the blonde leaning over him.

“Maria! ...I...” he felt the tears burning his cheeks, and he made futile attempts to wipe them away, but they were instantly replaced by fresh ones.

“Oh, Richter...” Maria sighed, giving him a hug, and holding him in her arms, “...I didn’t know you were so heartbroken over my sister...”

I’m not...Oh, Gods, why am I not??! Richter thought, letting a sob escape him, since it was muffled by the green dress Maria wore. She continued all while he didn’t really listen, didn’t have the strength to pay attention.

“....If only Anette could see you now. I’m sure she wouldn’t have been so set on leaving you, even for the briefest of moments.”

You don’t know... Oh, sweet Maria, how could you even guess? ...that I would long for the one you love? ...it would break that wonderful, sweet heart of yours...

“What have become of me..?” he silently asked whatever god might be listening to him.

“Hush, hush... don’t you bring yourself down, Richter. You need to rest and let your body heal properly. It has never brought a man any happiness to shed tears over matters long passed.”

“....I know... everyone keeps telling me that.” Richter sighed against Maria’s shoulder, “...but, what if I don’t want to rest? What if... I don’t wish to recover?”

“Don’t say such awful things, Richter! ...you’re weak now, and you aren’t making any sense... probably the fever talking...”

Richter sighed, deciding to keep his dark thoughts to himself, and wiped his face with his hands. He let go of Maria and lay back against the pillows. He never loved me... It was only a foolish fantasy.... he thought miserably yet again, unable to let it go. The dream had been so real, so vivid! He simply couldn’t accept it as being only a dream. He sighed, wishing that he had never wandered into the woods, wishing even further, that he would never have told his wife about his sinful desires. How could I ever get away from this curse... How could God be so cruel as to put me under this spell? he sighed heavily, changing his mind about his last thought, How could I ever have let myself be put under that dhampire’s spell?!

“... Richter...” Maria whispered, “Do not blame yourself for what happened with Anette. I’m sure my sister were just in one of her moods... She’ll be back before you know it, you’ll see ...” she said, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze before standing up and giving him a kiss on the cheek, “...I’m afraid I have to go now, Richter. Sleep well, and I’ll come see you in the morning ...”

Richter sighed, and squeezed her hand back, mustering a smile for her, but remained silent. She left, and he went back to pitying himself, no one else there to bother about his problems.

********

Night fell over the small town, and somewhere in the darkness, the shadow of a man was slowly making its way up to the cottage hospital. His long mane of pale blond hair was almost white in the light of the stars up above, illuminating the darkened sky.

Still walking, he seemed to vaporize into a thick mist, moving ever so slowly forward, seeping in under the doors, and windows. As the mist made its way through the room, beds standing in organized, neat rows on each side of him, framing his way. He knew where to go, so he moved forward, still in the form of thick mist. He could smell his goal, hear its steady heartbeat. As the mist slowed into a stop, it swiftly grew into the form of a man. His long, almost white hair curled up by his cheekbones, framing his pale face, as he moved closer to the bed. Carefully, he sat down on the chair beside the bed, and scooted closer, so he could take Richter’s hand, and look at his sleeping face.

So peaceful... he thought, ...So beautiful when asleep. He took hold of Richter’s hand, but let go of it, in order to remove his gloves. He reclaimed his hold on Richter’s hand, and held it tenderly, caressing the pale skin softly.

My sweet, sweet Richter. How can you bring such feelings to my chest? How can you make my heart flutter, and cry out in joy with your mere eyes looking into mine? his eyes never left Richter’s peaceful face, and he dared to lift his hand to that perfect face, tilted it gently to the side so he was facing the dhampire. If I could only find the courage to speak my heart right in this room. Not merely speak my mind to you, but speak my heart... You have my heart, Richter. It is right there in the palms of your hands. If you only knew how far I would go to make sure you were kept out of harms way... he sighed, not caring for once, that it was one of his more human traits, How would you see me, if only you knew how deeply I feel for you?

Some part of his mind wanted him to speak the words aloud, instead of playing this game of silence. But he would not. He simply couldn’t find his voice. It seemed stuck too far down, making his chest hurt along with his throat. It was the mere beauty of it all, that knotted his throat together, until he found he could hardly breathe, and it was all of his fears that stabbed inside his chest.

Please, Richter...don’t give up ...don’t die on me, I beg of you... he stroke Richter’s pale cheek, and played with a curl of dark brown hair by his ear. He had no means of stopping the sob that escaped him, but he instantly clamped a hand over his mouth. The other was holding Richter’s cold hand in a firm grip, not showing any sign of letting go. Don’t leave me, Richter. Don’t you leave me ...I couldn’t take it, the loneliness. The coldness surrounding me, I couldn’t bare it alone... not now, when I have you. I cannot face it alone anymore... Oh Gods, why do I feel so utterly weak? And, why over this mortal man?! ...this married man, why do I long only for his touch on my cheek, only his fingers lacing through my hair? Why could I not resist him? Gods, you know I have resisted temptation before... Why not this time as well?

He already knew the answer, and it was given to him by a voice in the back of his mind. ‘Because this isn’t mere lust, is it? This goes beyond any shallow desire.’

The pale blond sighed, and wiped his face dry, while letting go of Richter’s limp hand, laying it back on his chest. He gave it a final squeeze and stood up to kiss him goodbye.

I’ll come back tomorrow, when time allows me to, Richter... he thought silently and, turning into a bat in midair, took his exit through the fireplace and up through the chimney.

*******

The weeks passed by, and soon Richter was well again. At least, it was what everyone told him. Even, his own body told him he was well. But his mind told him otherwise, as did his heart. No matter how enthusiastic everyone was, greeting him passing by on the street, marvelling at how he could have regained his strength in such a short amount of time, after being hospitalized for so long.

But, Richter would only give them his thin smile, and nod his consent before walking further on. What was there left for him to do, but train to become a better hunter? What else could he do, but improve his fighting skills and techniques?

Maybe he could listen to the one advice that everyone gave him. “Fall in love, Richter! Get yourself a new wife, and love her as much as your heart can muster. Have many beautiful children, and make your family prosper, Richter! Just follow your heart, Mr. Belmont! I’m sure it will lead you right!”

That was what they had said, to busy being excited over his recovery, too mesmerized by his renewed vigour, and the disappearance of Castlevania to even notice the coldness in his eyes. He knew he couldn’t take their advice. How could he? If he was to follow his heart, it would lead him to Alucard, the cold dhampire, void of emotion. How culd he go to Alucard, when he didn’t even know where to look for him? And why would he even try, when he knew the closest he had come to feeling his touch was in a fever’s dream?

He left his place by the kitchen table, and went to the window, silently watching as big flakes of snow sored down from the dark sky. Winter was approaching, in more ways than one. It would be a cold winter, that was for sure, and being such, it would be difficult to tend to the farms outside of town. Not everyone welcomed the winter as Richter did. The cold weather outside, and the pale white snow reminded him of Alucard in a mysterious way. It hadn’t snowed like this in a long time. No, wait. Richter pondered for a moment, and then lowered his gaze to one of his hands where a small scar was slowly fading. It snowed that day when Alucard came to my room a few months ago... Richter froze, he couldn’t have just thought that! When did Alucard ever come to his room? He couldn’t have come to his room! It was impossible...but still, some part of his mind told him that it was true.

It couldn’t be true. It was all just a dream, like everything else. A fool’s dream. He shook his head and stepped away from the window, remembering somberly how that was the exact place, where his life had been shattered. He had not only confessed to his own wife that he was a sick man, but he had also been forced to come to terms with it himself. Not until then had it really hit him. And it had hit him hard in the face.

Why am I so consumed by thoughts of him? Why can’t I not just forget all about him...How would my friends react if I told them about my nature? What would happen if I told them? Would they try to understand, and support me, or would they run away from me like she did? he shook his head and went to the cupboard in the corner by the fireplace. He pulled open a drawer and took out a bottle lying beside other items that could someday be of use. He popped open the cork and poured himself a glass, sitting himself down by the table. One might as well make use of the burning remedy for his problems and heartache. No use in wasting perfectly good liquor.

******

“Richter?” the young woman asked, while landing one more set of knocking on the door. When no one answered, she tried turning the doorknob, and found that it was open. She entered the small house, and called out to the silence: “Richter? ...are you there? Hello?” A small grunt reached her ears, and she went in the direction of the sound. As she entered the kitchen, she saw a solemn vampire hunter slumped by the table, glass and bottle in front of him. “Richter!” she gasped, shocked to see her brother-in-law in his current state, “What are you doing?!”

With a slow roll of his head, he turned to look at her, his eyes gloomy and glazed over with a sheen of alcohol. “...Uhm tryin’ to make myself ferget, M’ria...” he slurred, turning his head back to the empty glass and bottle before him. And, looking at him cautiously, Maria walked up to the table and sat down in front of him.

“Forget what, Richter?” she asked him. But, she didn’t get any answer from him until after he had swirled the glass around for a while, looking at it as if its contents held the answers and remedies to all of his problems.

“....D’you wanna know what I told yer sister?” he mumbled, still staring at the glass in his hand. She nodded, unsure what to expect, but she still wanted to see what was to be revealed. “...I told her the truth...” Richter mumbled, his voice quivering slightly, “She always told me to be honest with her...that she never wanted me to lie to her, no matter if the truth would hurt... So I did, and she left me...”

Maria couldn’t help but furrowing her brow in confusion. “What did you tell her the truth about, Richter? Why did she leave?”

Richter remained silent, his eyes never leaving the table. After a long moment of him being quiet, he finally spoke: “...I told her the truth about me, Maria... About why I couldn’t love her the way she wan’ed me to...” Suddenly feeling very curious in spite of herself, Maria decided to see if Richter would trust her enough to tell her, too, the ‘truth’ about himself.

“....I told her ‘bout my first kiss..... and she had the hugest problem with it....”

“Well? What about your first kiss, Richter? Surely she didn’t believe she was the first to kiss you?”

“No... It’s not that... she had a problem with whom it was I kissed...”

“...I don’t know what to say...I didn’t think my sister would leave you because she didn’t approve of who the girl was that shared your first kiss...” Maria said, trying to understand what had gotten into her sister. But before she had the time to think, Richter slammed his fist into the table, his hand shaking, the motion going through his arms, and further to his shoulder. Soon, his whole being was taken over by the emotions brought over him.

“That’s the point!!” he slurred, his voice wavering, and his head cast down, “It wasn’t a girl that shared my first kiss...” his breathing was coming in shallow intakes of air, and he was noticeably taken by what he was about to say.

“What do you mean?” Maria bluntly asked, unable to come up with any reasonable explanation to Richter’s behaviour. Even less, could she comprehend why he was so shaken by telling her about something so wonderful as the first innocent kiss he had shared with the first one he had truly loved.

“I’m afraid...I don’t understand, Richter. Was it a girl older than you? A woman, perhaps...?”

“No! ..No, Maria...!” Richter sighed, wiping his face with both hands, and pushing aside the glass and bottle. Still not looking at the young woman sitting in front of him, afraid that she too would shun away from him, he said: “...it was my best friend, Maria.... I kissed my best friend, believing that it was something magical... Thinking that the kiss in itself held some sort of magic! Thinking that by kissing the one you love, it would bring them to love you too...” he sighed, trying hard to stop his voice from sounding so pitiful. “I read too many sagas when I was young... All of those tales you were told when you were little, all of the fairytales.. I believed them all!!! And in every single one of them, the kiss had a magical roll to play. It was always the kiss that sealed the love between prince and princess.... always the kiss that saved the day... The kiss is what seals a marriage, the kiss is what you greet your loved one with when showing them your love... You never kiss someone that you don’t truly love...and you never kiss someone who doesn’t love you....” Richter whimpered where he sat, finding it so hard to continue, and yet so painful not to do so. He sighed, resting his head in his hands, afraid to see the look that he knew would show in Maria’s eyes when realization dawned on her.

“So, I believed that the kiss was the most magical thing that God ever gave us! That the kiss was the symbol of eternal love, and happiness. I believed, so much it hurt, that if I kissed the one I loved, he would love me too, as if it was already meant to be... He would love me, Maria.... He was supposed to love me too...” he sobbed, finally letting the pain embrace him, burying his face in his arms crossed on the table. He knew that there were only a matter of moments before he would be all alone again. All for the better, he would be alone to deal with his misery and pain, and his shame.

“

Oh, Richter...” Maria sighed, getting up from her seat across the table, and wrapping her arms around Richter’s quivering form. As she ran her fingers through his hair, tucking his face to rest on her shoulder, she said: “It’s not your fault, Richter! ....you didn’t know, you couldn’t have known.... You were only a boy!! How were you supposed to know how cruel life can be?!” she sighed, “It’s not your fault that your love wasn’t returned...”

She wasn’t even sure whether or not Richter was listening to her words. He clung to her, like she was the only grasp he had left before tumbling down the abyss of pain and misery. He cried, his tears coming forward as if all of his feelings had gathered up inside, finally releasing themselves into a flooding of emotion. She didn’t know what to do, not having seen many grown men cry as Richter now did. His cries were of the sharpest pain, and the daggers of pain shot right through her as well. Everything finally dawned upon her. As she rocked him back and forth like a baby, she finally understood; Richter was nothing but a lost child in that very moment that he had bared his most inner self to her. He had shown her his heart. She threaded her fingers through the dark brown tendrils of hair, and tried hard not to let her tears fall. She had to be strong for Richter, when he couldn’t be strong himself. “Hush now, Richter. Don’t you cry anymore. I promise you, everything will be just fine. As soon as the liquor wears off, you’ll feel much better, you’ll see.”

At her words, Richter tensed, pulling back from her warmth, as if suddenly realizing a terrible mistake. “I’m sorry...” he whispered, his voice just barely audible, “I’m so sorry....!!”

“What for?”

“I...I shouldn’t have... I’m so sorry, Maria!” Richter stuttered, looking terrified, “I shouldn’t have told you. What will you think of me....” he mumbled, more to himself than to her.

“Richter...” she said, taking his hand in hers, causing him to instantly lock his eyes to her sparkling blue ones. “Who is it, that you feel so strongly for?” she asked, and wondered at how Richter’s eyes went to the table. Was that a blush colouring his cheeks?

“I..... I cannot tell.” Richter whispered, the blush on his cheeks growing into a darker shade of red, “You would hate me even further if you knew.”

“I don’t hate you!! I’m trying to understand why you are so afraid of love, Richter, that you cannot rejoice in it!”

“It’s Alucard!” Richter blurted out, still not looking at the blonde woman in front of him, “...It’s Alucard...”

The frown on Maria’s face vanished, replaced by a look of surprise. And as she came to realize the most obvious, her pale eyebrows raised themselves. ‘Maria... What would you say, if I told you... I was in love with a mortal?...a married mortal...’ He did tell me that! ..could it be? ...What if it is so? Oh, how could I not’ve noticed how he avoided my questions of the ‘woman’ he loved? How foolish can a girl be?! Maria thought, scolding herself for her lack of insight.

“....Richter. I need you to do something for me, is that alright with you?”

“What?”

“You go clean yourself up and get some sleep, and I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“...but....what are you going to do?” Richter asked, feeling like he had just missed something very important.

“I’m going to see to a friend of mine’s happiness, which is something I should have done a long time ago, instead of sulking over a lost love never received...”

With that said, she kissed Richter’s forehead, and vanished through the front door, leaving a very confused man behind.

*****

“My friend,” she said to the dove in her hand, “I need you to find someone, and leave a very important message to him.” she attached a tiny roll of paper to one wrist of the white dove, and tenderly put her hand on its head for an instant. “Go find Alucard for me. Bring him the message, and make sure you won’t leave without at least a reply from him!”

She released the dove and watched it fly away. She stood looking at its serene shape for as long as she could before she lost sight of it in the approaching morning. She sighed, smiling contentedly, and walked back to the central part of town, heading for the Belmont household.

*****

“Richter...?” Maria asked, as she stepped into the livingroom, and closed the door behind, locking it for the sake of no one bursting in on a more private conversation.

“Maria? Is that you..?” Richter’s tired voice came from the far side of the livingroom, and as Maria turned her head to the source of the voice, she saw Richter’s quivering form slumped down in front of the fireplace.

“Yes, ‘t is me. Are you alright, Richter?” she asked, approaching him, and sitting herself down on the armchair in front of the fireplace.

“No.” came the weak response, “I’m afraid I don’t feel too good...”

“Oh. You aren’t getting a fever, are you?” the blonde asked as she put a hand on his forehead.

“No..” Richter replied, taking her hand away from his forehead, a small smile playing on his lips, but soon fading away into that tired look. “I’m turning twenty-eight years old this year, Maria...To be honest, I am beginning to feel old...” he turned to look at her questioning face, “I feel like I’ve wasted too much time hiding from the world, because I don’t have any other choice... I’m scared, Maria, that what I feel for Alucard is something that will not be looked upon kindly. But, I know there are others like me... And I also know that the ones who revealed themselves to the world, were severely harassed. Even some became outcasts against their own will, only because of who they were. All of that, only because they were brave enough to confess to both themselves and their family and friends, that they weren’t what they had tried to be. Like them, I am not, what I have become... Or rather, I do not wish to be what I’ve become.”

“What are you afraid of, Richter?” Maria asked, and to her own surprise, Richter gave a chuckle. But his eyes were the saddest shade of grey.

“In one of my dreams, Alucard asked me the exact same thing...”

“You have had dreams of Alucard?” the young woman asked, her interest showing clearly.

“Yes...” Richter replied solemnly, “Ever since I came back from the castle after fighting him, I have been haunted by recurring dreams of him. But this one was special ...”

“Tell me. Please...”

“I dreamt that I woke up in an abandoned cottage, somewhere in the forest, and that Alucard was the one who had brought me there...” Richter went silent for a brief moment, drawing a deep, shaking breath, “I dreamt he took care of me...so tenderly, he wiped my brow to calm my fever ...I dreamt he held me in his arms... holding me so tight, to calm me in my sleep. And I dreamt he kissed me...”

Maria looked at Richter’s trembling body, unable to miss the quivering of his lower lip, which he bit down on. “Why did you stop...?”

“Because it hurts, Maria! I know it never happened, and I know I’ll never forget! It hurts because I thought I had finally found someone who could love me, in spite, and because of who I am!! ....because I don’t know what to do...”

Richter sighed, his appearance telling of a great weariness adding to the sadness. “Maria?” he asked, “What did you go about doing?? Just when you left, you said you were going to take care of something... what was it?”

Maria only smiled at him sweetly, and said: “I sent after a friend of mine, who also suffers from some troubles in finding, and reaching his loved one...”

“Oh...” Richter nodded, silently accepting Maria’s cryptic words.

“Richter...” she said warmly, hooking her arm around his, “Why don’t you sit down in this lovely armchair, and I’ll go make you some tea? Doesn’t that sound good?” she tugged slightly at him to stand up, and so he did, holding his robe closer to him.

“Maybe you should have stayed in bed....” the young woman commented, but Richter only sighed in response:

“I never went to bed, Maria...”

“Oh, but for Heaven’s sake, Richter! Why not?!” Maria exclaimed, sitting the man down on the armchair, wrapping a thick blanket around his thin frame.

Since when have Richter been this thin? she silently wondered, His clothes are but hanging from his frame!!

“.......Because every single night I lay down to sleep, I am haunted by visions of him!!” Richter sighed, refusing to lean back into the pillow Maria set behind his head and shoulders, “Because every morning I wake up, in so much pain of a love that I will never experience, that I think I’m about to die!!” Richter did all not to whimper, but failed miserably.

“Oh..... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. On second thought...I think I’ll make you a bowl of soup or maybe some broth.... How does that sound?”

“I’m fine, thank you....You shouldn’t go through such trouble for me, Maria...”

“Nonsense!” the blonde happily stated, and marched right into the kitchen, preparing to make some soup for herself and the depressed man in the living room.

*****

But, when she came back into the living room carrying two bowls of steaming hot soup and two pieces of bread on a tray, she was welcomed by a silently snoring Richter, lying half off of the armchair.

“Oh my..!” she whispered with a smile, setting the tray down on the living room table. With careful steps she walked over to the sleeping man, carefully stroking away a bundle of hair obscuring his face, and settling the warm blanket snugly around his thinning shoulders. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice sooner, Richter...” she whispered, softly stroking his forehead, “You truly have changed.... I never thought love could be so powerful, it could kill a man’s spirit....”

She sighed, sitting down on the sofa beside the table, picking up a bowl of soup, and soft blowing on the surface, watching as the steam moved away in swirls and different patterns. To think that you could have changed so much, without anyone even noticing... It goes beyond my comprehension.... she thought, If I had known, I would have come over and made you some food, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to decline on my kind offer... she smiled, wishing that she could at least have had some foresight.

As she finished her soup, she cuddled up against the pillows neatly put in order on her left side, and closed her eyes, feeling a bit tired too. Everything will work out to the better, Richter, I’m sure. I’m certain of it! she thought, smiling, just before she drifted off to sleep as well.

*****

As the night came, and turned into another morning, the white dove flew, carried by the chilling winds of the since long arrived winter. Her big black eyes searched the landscape for one single creature; and when she saw a village in the distance, she could feel the presence of that creature. She sped up, knowing that her master would be pleased of the efficient delivery. It was an important message, hanging from her wrist, after all.

The white dove swooped down, eyes dashing from every streetcorner to every roof. The creature had to be there! She was driven by instinct, and instinct told her that the one she was looking for, was not far away. Not far at all. There! There it was! The dove descended even further, going straight for her target, announcing her presence by sending of a trail of unspoken words. The serene creature looked up, searching the sky for what voice he heard. As his amber eyes locked with the onyx ones of the dove, his brow furrowed. Just as he raised his hand, the dove landed on his wrist.

“There, there, little one. What brings you to me?” the ghostly pale man asked the dove, knowing she would answer him as best she could. He detached the rolled-up note from the small dark pink leg, and revealed a message, written in small, thin letters. As he read on, his eyes widened, his face growing if possible even paler.

“By the Gods!” the creature gasped, leaving the white dove on his wrist cocking its head to one side.

“Go back to your master, little one. Thank you for finding me so soon!” the creature whispered, sending the dove off with a throw up in the air. Before the reflecting eyes of the dove, the creature still on ground changed into a wolf, baffling and terrifying the mortals walking the streets.

The dove watched on as the crowd was split in half, making way for the rampaging wolf, hordes of screaming humans struggling to get out of the way. The white dove ascended once more, going farther up into the welcoming sky, knowing somewhere inside, that her master would be pleased.

*****

Richter..! Richter!! .....Oh, Gods, what have I done!!! the rampaging wolf tore through the wintery, snow-burdened landscape, leaping across iceladen ditches, once flowing rivers. He tore through icy remains of bushes, and threw his big paws forward, stretching his legs to the fullest not stopping even to catch his breath. All the while, his thoughts were centered on the mortal man he had so foolishly fallen for, only to abandon in a moment of weakness. He cursed his human side, and anguish tore its ugly claws at his chest, just as mighty as he tore through the snow. Sooner than he wanted, he felt his strength vanishing, draining from his limbs. Slowing down, he crumpled into the shape of a man in the soft embrace of the snowy dunes before him.

Staggering, he rose from his slumped form, stumbling forward. It was so much more difficult to move in his current shape, but to shapeshift into the wolf again would drain him even more than necessary. It was not an option for the time being. He clenched his teeth, and ran forward, going faster with each and every step. But the sun was up, and even if he was as close to immortal as he could be, he was still half a vampire. No matter how much the sun warmed his skin, and no matter how much he had come to enjoy it, being in a winter landscape and the snow reflecting the sun in a billion small stabbing rays of light, made him weaker. The sun made him feel weak; it made him numb, all over his body, and his eyes stung in the bright light. In spite of this, he refused to slow down. He had to get back as fast as he possibly could. As fast as his body would allow him. But, he thought, the mind is stronger than the body, and the will is not to be belittled.

To be continued in chapter three! ^______^