By: Domino (Shojo1019@aol.com)

Legal stuff: This is a story written by me. It contains characters that were created by Square. Please do not hunt me down for using them. It does have some mild yaoi, but nothing sexual, yet..... And it has game spoilers, so ifyou haven't gotten past disc one, do not read. Thank you.

"We're sorry, Rinoa....." The SeeDs have done their best in consoling the young woman, but she still denies that he is truly gone. With tears in her eyesshe goes through her love's dorm and belongings. "Squall's jacket......." The leather crinkles in her hands as she puts it on. She is startled when an old friend walks in.

"Hi Rinoa. Are you doing okay?"

"I've been better Quistis."

"Squall may be gone, but his spirit is still with you. I just know it."

"Thanks. So, are you here to reclaim things he forgot to give back to you?"

"Actually," Quistis starts, "I wanted to give you this. I found it in his desk after class." Instructor Quisits Trepe hands Rinoa a medium-sized book.

"What is it?" Rinoa asks.

"It's his journal. I think he wanted you to have it."

"Wow..... All of his personal thoughts and feelings. Thank you so much Quistis." The instructor smiles at Rinoa and walks out of the dorm. Rinoa locks the door and lays down with the journal. She opens it up and begins to read it.

June 17th,

Finally, we have graduated. Zell, Selphie, and I have become SeeDs. Seifer failed the field exam and has been put back on the disciplinary committee. What an idiot. Yet I still respect him for his strong will. I felt indifferent to my new position until I met this wonderful girl. She looked like an angel. I saw her at the SeeD celebration banquet and dance. And she wanted to dance with me! Little did she know that I couldn't dance worth shit. But with her help I waltzed like a pro. I didn't catch her name, though. But I'm sure I will soon.

"Oh, Squall....." Rinoa whispers. She skips to another entry and reads on.

June 20th,

We've just left Timber. Seifer's vanished. Rinoa's still fighting for her country, and our next mission is a secret. All I know is we're headed to Galbadia Garden next. I'm still having these weird dreams about a man named Laguna. Who is he? Am I going insane?! And what is it about Rinoa? I don't know what I'm feeling, but I think I'll need therapy soon if this keeps up.

June 21st,

We've gotten our orders. We are to assassinate the Sorceress. But we needed a sharpshooter to carry out the mission. Galbadia Garden headmaster Martine assigned us a new member to our group. And that's when I saw him for the first time......

"Him.....?" Rinoa's curiosity grows as she continues to read the passage.

Those eyes...... And that beautiful smile..... I couldn't help being attracted to him. But, he was a man, and I've never in my life felt this way about another man before. Was I feeling the same thing as when I first met Rinoa....? "Irvine Kinneas...." What a lovely name. It matched that cowboy marksman image of his. I kept my cool as I decided on the group. The next train to Deling City is here. I gotta go......

Rinoa sits there in pure shock. "Squall...... You were in love with Irvine as well as me?! Why didn't you tell me...?" She reads on.

June 22nd,

Man, that Irvine thinks he's every woman's dream. He's tired to hit on Rinoa, Quistis, AND Selphie! I have to admit I am getting a bit jealous. But I love that sexy southern accent in his tone of voice! As we boarded the train he tried to convince Selphie of his love for her. I interrupted and he left her alone. Zell began to scold him for not taking the mission seriously. That's when the Irvine opened himself up to us. He really let us have it....

"No one understands me. We sharpshooters are loners by nature. We hone our instincts, pour our whole being into one bullet. The pressure of the moment..... An instant of tension....That's what I have to face alone. It's not easy...... So like..... do me a favor and just let me be."

Man, I can'tbelieve I remember that whole speech, but I just hung on every word. It hurt me when I saw tears coming from those pretty green-grey eyes. He ran into one of the cabins and slammed the door. I had to go comfort him.

I went into his room and locked the door behind me. I found him sitting on the couch, sulking. He looked up at me and snapped "What do you want?!"

"I only wanted to talk!"

"Fine..... But make it quick. I'm not in the mood to.....!"

"I'm........ sorry Irvine. I didn't know what kind of pressure you're under."

"It's okay leader. I don't expect you guys to understand my way of life."

"Please, call me Squall."

Irvine tipped up his black cowboy hat and smiled. I sat down next to him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I hugged him and he hugged back. I could feel Irvine's breath on my chest. Then I made my move. I cupped my hands around his handsome face and touched those lips with mine. A spasm raced down my spine. I even became a little daring and slipped my tongue into his mouth. Those few seconds were pure bliss. As I was caressing his long, reddish-brown ponytail, he pulled away. His eyes told me not to stop, but he told me something else. "Squall...... The time isn't right," Irvine whispered softly.

"I..... I didn't mean to....."

"It's okay, leader. A little awkward........ but I liked it."

I was shocked to hear that he enjoyed it. But I understood what he meant. The mission ahead of us was very important, and he wanted to wait for the right time.

We've arrived at Deling City. Quite a sight. It's nothing but lights and glamour. But all of its glitz fades when I'm reminded of our mission. May the gods be watching over us......

Rinoa closes the journal for now. She breaks down in tears. She misses Squall so much, but she cannot get over the possibility of Squall's love for Irvine. As she wipes away her tears she leaves his dorm room and joins the others for dinner in Balamb.