The characters of the rpg Final Fantasy VIII does not belong to me, therefor there is no use in suing me. The chara’s belong to Sony, Amano Yoshitaka-san and Square, and whoever else that wants to claim them as property, within the boundaries of law and copyright.

And now, for the little warning... This is a SHONEN AI/YAOI-fic, e.g: boys with boys and whatever may come along that road...^-^ If you don’t have an open mind, or are just uncomfortable with these circumstances....why are you still reading???>_<

I will not answer politely to any sort of flames, except the flames of love... ^_~

I want criticism!!! Please send me your comments to:

sakura_chan@starplace.com

By the way, this fic does contain some spoilers, so anyone who’s come all the way through the second disc, is open-minded and into shonen ai and yaoi, are free to read it!^_^ ...It’s better to have come through the second disc, so you’ll have some sort of grasp of the things I insinuate could have happened.

Harigatou gozaimasu, minna-san!!!!

...Oh!! I almost forgot!! The two charas Aqua & Emaralde, are aaaall mine!! So don’t you dare steal them from me!! I’ll send Sephiroth after you to bring me your heads!!! ^_____^

~Visions of the Past~

By: Sakura-chan

~Chapter Two~

He stood out on the porch for a long time. Why he did so, he had no idea...

What is wrong with me? he thought to himself while gazing into the darkness being illuminated by rays of light coming from the rising sun. It ain’t like me, to behave this way... he thought, and went to sit down on the swing. He leaned back against one of the cushions, and wrapped the blanket around himself; it was cold, even though it was early summer. He looked down on his bracelet and smiled. Never would he have dreamt of Seifer doing someone a good deed before all this happened. But then again, Seifer was the one who saved his life when they were little. On second thought, Seifer had also been the one almost killing him back then... He closed his eyes and went back in time, remembering how cruel he had thought Seifer was when he had taken his Mr Teddie Bear away from him. He silently laughed at the mere name he had come up with.

Mr Teddie Bear... it was too much. But he thought, he had been only a boy back then, and Mr Teddie was one of his best friends in those days. He remembered how furious he had been at Seifer taking his friend away. He just had to save Mr Teddie from the filthy hands of the devilchild. How was it that day began?

He wasn’t sure anymore, but he could remember sunlight, a cool breeze blowing from the shore, and the house being full with life... And two kids who just couldn’t stop fighting each other...

"Children! Don’t fight, I tell you! But do you listen?" Matron lectured the two young boys as she dragged them both away by the collars of their shirts.

"No, Matron..." they said in unison, both being not too happy over the fact that Matron was putting them back into place. Again. Like always.

"Now, Seifer, honey, didn’t I tell you not to tease Zell?"

"Yes, Matron..." he replied, for once seeming not too cocky about himself.

"And Zell, sweetheart, didn’t I tell you not to pull Seifer’s hair when he teases you, but to come to me so we can straighten the matter out together?"

"Yes, Matron..." Zell replied, and glanced over at Seifer, who was watching him from behind Matron’s long dark skirts. He was grinning at him, those gray blue eyes were sparkling, and so was his smile. His whole face was lit up by pure mischief. He was up to something, and Zell could only wish it had nothing to do with him.

"Then, you better sort things out before dinner, because you’re not getting out before that happens.." Matron continued, "And I don’t think either of you wants

to miss dinner, do you?"

"No, Matron.." the boys said in unison, and as they stopped in front of the room they were going to share for the rest of the day, they turned to each other and made the most horrible faces the could.

"Boys! Now be nice to each other! Why can’t you just be friends?" Matron tried to tell them, but she gave up when both of them giggled right in each others faces. She smiled, and said:

"Come along now, boys. And in you go.." she showed them into the room, where only two beds and an oil lamp on a desk were present. Above the desk were a big window, just waiting to be broken open. The two boys stepped into the room, and the door was closed and locked behind them. Zell immediately went to the other side of the room, as far away from Seifer as possible.

"Seffy..."

"Yeah?"

"Why do ya always have ta tease me?"

"’Cause it’s fun..." Seifer replied from watching the desk and the chair standing beside it.

"No it isn’t!!" Zell said, stomping his foot into the floor.

Seifer laughed, and climbed up on the chair.

"What? What’s so funnie??" Zell pouted, and Seifer answered him chuckling:

"You’re just like a girl!!!" his laughter sounded like the bells of Hades to Zell, who furiously stated.

"Am not!"

"Are too!!" Seifer chuckled; it was too easy to make Zell react exactly the way he wanted him too.

"Am NOT!!" Zell almost screamed.

Seifer only laughed harder at Zell’s futile tries to prove he wasn’t a girl. He stood up on the chair, and went on climbing up on the desk with the greatest of ease. Zell went silent, his big blue eyes even bigger with curiosity.

"...what are ya doin’?"

"I’m gonna get me-self outta here, and you ain’t coming with me!"

"Nuh-uh! No fair! I wanna get out too!!"

"Cry-baby, cry-baby!! Why don’t you go tell Matron!"

"I will too! ...and I’m not a cry-baby!!!" he marched over to the door, and started banging his small fists into it.

"Matron! Matron!! Seifer’s bein’ bad again!!! He’s tryin ta get out of here, and he won’t take me with him!!!"

"Boo-hoo!" Seifer said, "Good luck with that, cry-baby Chicken-Wuss!" and he slipped through the window like he had done nothing but pick locks his whole life.

"I am not a Chicken-Wuss!!" Zell yelled after him, and ran up to the window, trying to see something even though he couldn’t even reach up to the

windowsill. From outside he could hear Seifer’s bright voice singing:

"Naah-nah-nah-naah-naah!! Chicken-Wuss can’t catch me!!"

Zell grunted and began the difficult and hard struggle to get on top of the chair. He pulled himself up, using all the strength he had in his small arms, and was left breathing very hard, sitting down on top of the chair. He couldn’t hear Seifer’s voice anymore, but he was set on catching him, no matter what it took, and prove to him that he wasn’t a Chicken-Wuss at all. He stood up on the chair, climbed onto the desk, and further up on the windowsill. He looked down, and swallowed hard; it was such a long way to the ground... He looked down once again, and gathered some courage. And then, he took the step and jumped... right down into the flowerbed Matron had been so careful in taking care of. He said a small prayer that Matron wouldn’t notice, and ran off in search of his male Nemesis. The male Nemesis in question ran by in just that particular moment as Zell was just about to go around the corner. They both stopped in their tracks, staring at each other. But then, the magic holding them was broken, and Seifer showed one of his smirks, raising his hand high in the air. Zell’s eyes were drawn to his raised hand, and when they saw what he had hold of, they widened in rage. Zell gave off a shriek that no human being could possibly be capable off, and started clawing at Seifer, desperately trying to reach up and take back what had been taken from him.

"Mr Teddie!!!" he shrieked, as Seifer all too easily waved his hand around, making it impossible to retrieve Mr Teddie. He saw that evil smirk and growled, as Seifer started backing away, faster and faster.

"Don’t take my Teddie!!!"

Seifer turned around and started running, thinking that Zell wouldn’t have the stamina to follow for long...

Zell opened his eyes and gazed over the plains and at the sunrise covered by clouds in shades of purple and red. He stood up and pulled the blanket closer and went back into the house and started packing for the journey to Trabia.

********

The silence of the restaurant was significantly broken when Seifer threw the door open, and rushed in, feeling better than he had in ages. He rushed upstairs, and into the bathroom, turning on the shower, locking the door, and throwing away his clothes into a heap on the floor. He jumped into the shower, scrubbed himself with soap and washed his face and hair. He turned off the shower, jumped out of it, carefully so he wouldn’t slip, secured a towel around his waist, picked his clothes up, and went out of the bathroom. He then went up the second flight of stairs, to the attic, which he was renting from Raijin and Fujin. He turned on the light, and put the dirty clothes into the basket, and turned to pick out some fresh ones. He pulled them on, dried his hair halfway dry with

the towel, and ran his finger through it. While he examined himself in the

mirror, there came a silent knock on the door to the attic. He turned around, and saw Fujin, squinting in the bright light from the lamp.

To her utter surprise, he smiled at her, with more warmth than he had in a very long time. She smiled back, and stepped into the room.

"I take it, you didn’t have any trouble reading my map?"

"Not the least bit!" he said, with a chuckle. Fujin eyed him up and down in an appraising fashion.

"...You sure look sharp, and you smell good. Is there some special occasion?" she went silent, and then grinned, "...Maybe you got lucky..." she said and smiled at Seifer’s mockery of a shocked expression. He turned back to a serious face, and told her, a smile playing with his lips:

"Aw, Fujin...How could you even think such an awful thing of me?"

"Well...You do look a lot happier than you did before you ran off..."

Seifer looked at her with a puzzling look on his face; she didn’t know what to make of it. He sat down on the bed, and motioned for her to take a seat in the lonely chair in the corner of the room.

"It was so strange... Can you believe it, he invited me for a cup of cocoa!"

"A cup of what?" she burst out, and smiled, "That’s so sweet!!" she folded her hands, and then reached out to take his.

"So, do you think he feels the same?"

Seifer blushed.

"No!" he laughed, "Of course he doesn’t! Whatever makes you think that?!"

"Something must have happened! You don’t just invite people to a cup of... cocoa... to have a conversation!"

Seifer chuckled, and squeezed her hands, his eyes glittering with a joy she had never seen in him.

"I think... I think we may be becoming friends..." he said, and then seemed to change his mind, the joy went away from his face as if blown away by a wind.

"Well...maybe not right away, maybe not really at all, but..."

"Seifer." Fujin stopped him, and he looked up into her ruby red eye. Now, the familiar patch was absent, and the right side of her face was covered by her white hair instead. She put up a hand and stroke his cheek, saying:

"It’s a start, isn’t it? I mean, he wouldn’t have invited you for cocoa if he didn’t feel something for you. Am I right?"

Seifer nodded, and sighed.

"Oh, Fujin. What would I have done without the friendship of you and Raijin?"

"I don’t know ... Maybe you would have become friends with Zell?" she smiled as Seifer chuckled at her remark. He shook his head and sighed as he looked at the clock hanging on the wall.

"I don’t think I’ll get much sleep tonight... four hours at most.." he looked

down at himself, and smiled, "...now this is when you ask: ‘If you’re going to

go to bed, why are you all dressed up?’"

She giggled, and released his hands, crossing her arms on the back of the

chair:

"If you’re going to go to bed, then why are you all dressed up?"

He huffed at her taking his words literally, and stretched a bit.

"...I am soo tired right now..."

"That’s not a good answer!" she pouted, and he smiled.

"That’s because I don’t have any ‘good answer’... I was just being sarcastic. I didn’t expect you to take it literally!"

"Ok... Let’s get back to you and Zell..." Fujin grinned, "So, he invited you for cocoa... but, then what?"

"Oh, well..." Seifer smiled, his eyes to the floor, "We talked a bit... and...

well ..."

"Yes?"

"He got mail, and when he passed me to go get it..." Seifer blushed, not sure if it was as big a deal as it had felt when it happened, "He touched me... right on the shoulder ...and gave it a squeeze..."

"He touched you!?" Fujin smiled widely, almost like a little girl, "There, you see! I told you he couldn’t just hate you!! I told you he must feel something for you!!"

Seifer seemed nothing but embarrassed at her sudden outburst of joy, and he befuddled scratched his neck:

"Nah, Fujin... that’s not necessarily it... It doesn’t mean anything... he just kind of happened to touch me, that’s all..."

"If that was all it meant to you, you wouldn’t have told me, would you?"

Seifer’s blush deepened, and he turned his eyes away from hers. She took a deep breath and looked at him, her eyes suddenly sad. She put her hand on his, and she whispered to him:

"Seifer... I know how much he means to you, and it hurts me to see you so much in doubt of yourself... I think it means a lot, that he gave your shoulder a squeeze... Maybe it was his way of telling you, that it was ok. That what is in the past is in the past..." she searched for his eyes, and when she got his attention, she went on:

"I think that him inviting you to that cup of cocoa, shows that he doesn’t have any bigger grudge against you...and that maybe you could become friends before you even knew it had happened."

Seifer shook his head, not feeling too happy anymore.

"But he could never feel the same way for me, as I feel for him..." he felt a big lump forming in his throat, making it hard to breathe and making his eyes burn. But he swallowed the lump down and refused to let it get to him; big boys don’t cry, and certainly not grown men.

"Don’t think that way! What is it that says that he couldn’t love you?"

"He’s not like me..."

"You mean, he’s not gay?"

Seifer remained silent, and she took that as a ‘yes’.

"But," she went on, trying to make Seifer stop doubting himself at least a bit, "..if he isn’t gay, maybe he’s bi. You never know until you’ve given it a try, do you?"

"Stop it Fujin! Don’t say such things about him!!" Seifer stood up and went for the door, but Fujin stopped him by saying:

"What do you mean ‘stop it’? What do you mean ‘don’t say such things’?! Are you saying that there’s something wrong in trying to help you feel better? He might be ga.."

"No, Fujin!!!" Seifer turned around, his voice strained with fury, "He isn’t, ok?! He just isn’t, and he never could be..!! Just ...stop it ..."

"No," she said, and stood up, walking towards him, "I won’t stop. Why is it so wrong for me to wonder at the possibility that he might be able to love you back the way you wish he would? Why can’t I say that he’s gay?! He might be! He might!!"

Seifer’s face was tense in the light of the lamp; his jaws were locked, his brows creased, and his breaths coming in long trembling sighs.

"You can’t say such things about him, because you know they’re not true!! You say you know how I feel, when in fact, you don’t!"

He sighed heavily, and looked down at the floor, not wanting to meet her look. She tried to put her hands on his face, but he pulled away. She just wanted to help, and still, she didn’t know what to do.

"Then, tell me, Seifer. Tell me how you feel!" she demanded, but he refused.

"I can’t...I just can’t tell you!" he whispered, and dashed for the door, throwing himself out of the attic and down the first flight of stairs, almost crashing into Raijin’s sleepy form.

"Wassup, Seifa?"

Seifer didn’t answer, but dashed down the second flight of stairs, and down into the kitchen of the restaurant, stopping to catch his breath. He put his hands to his face, and made some rubbing motions; he could feel a headache coming over him, quickly approaching. He could never love me...

"What was that all ‘bout?" Raijin asked, scratching the side of his head, looking back at the clock hanging on the wall in his room, "It’s three o’clock in da mornin’!!" and turned back to Fujin, who silently shook her head.

"I know what time it is... And ...it’s nothing..." she turned to look down the stairs and sighed, "I’ll go talk to him ..." she said, and slowly went downstairs.

Raijin was left, suspiciously eyeing the disappearing form of Fujin, and trying to figure out why Seifer was acting so damn weird.

"If it ain’t nothin’, why do ya have to go talk to him??

...ok, so, maybe Seifer always behaved weird, at least when it came to Zell, but

Raijin only wished that he’d get going and actually admit what he felt, before it was too late.

Ya never know, man... ya never know... he thought to himself, and headed back

into his bedroom and tumbled down on the bed, snoring loudly even before he

hit the pillow.

"Seifer?" Fujin asked, her voice so silent she thought it may not even be heard. "Seifer, are you there?" she asked again, and stepped down on the floor, searching Seifer’s form with her eyes. She went through the small kitchen and out into the actual restaurant, and spotted him right away. He was sitting in the small booth by the big window next to the entrance. Slumped on the couch of the booth, he seemed almost like a statue, the way he refused to make even the slightest move. She walked up to him, and sat down across the table. Not even then, did he look at her.

"Seifer..." she said, whispering, not knowing what to think or do, when she saw; down one of his cheeks, a single tear trickled its way.

"Sometimes..." he interrupted her as she was about to speak, "..sometimes I wish I was you ..."

Unintentionally, she raised her eyebrows in a curious fashion:

"What? Why would you want to be me?" she asked, and Seifer remained still, not turning his eyes towards her. He went on, his eyes locked on something out on the streets, his voice trembling with the sighs that escaped his lips when he spoke.

"I wish I could be like you... free to love whoever I did, without being ashamed of it. Without having to worry about what others might think...without being afraid ..." his voice faded into the silence of the empty restaurant, and in his eyes, she could see small gems of glassy tears glitter in the rising sun.

"Everyone is afraid when they are in love, Seifer. It’s natural. You are afraid that the one you love won’t feel the same, and perhaps that, by revealing your feelings for them, it might change your friendship completely..."

"I didn’t mean those sorts of fear! Everyone knows that! It would be foolish to get this worked up over obvious fears!" he grunted, and turned to her, "Look at me, Fujin! What sort of a man do you see?" he said, demanded to know. His breaths came in long trembling sighs, not too far from turning into open sobs. She couldn’t find any words, for seeing him this way, was so new to her. As strange as it may seem, she had never thought him capable of such a display of emotion.

"Do you want to know what I see when I look myself in the mirror every morning getting out of bed?" he asked her, and when she wouldn’t speak, he continued:

"I see a monster, Fujin... An horrible freak... A freak, who longs for impossible love, and aims his disturbed desires at the unsuspecting young man who he has been torturing for as long as he can remember..."

"Don’t say such awful things!!!" she burst out at him, not believing her own ears, refusing to believe that he could have such a low image of himself.

Seifer flew up from the couch, throwing his fists into the hard surface of the

table, and it made her flinch in shocked fear. Seifer usually never had any fits of rage, but now, he seemed overcome with it. He roared at her, tears now spilling over the brim of his eyes:

"But it’s *true*!!! I am that freak!! ..and I have always been, ever since I was a child! No matter how much I try to pretend I’m not, it just slaps me harder in the face! I am not only the Sorceress’ knight ..." he sniveled, biting down harder on the last two words, "I am also the pantsy who’s been chasing after Zell for just about my entire life, striving to make his life as much a hell as possible, just to be close to him..!!" now his chin was trembling, and Fujin feared he might be on the verge of breaking down completely, "And now, I had that wonderful chance to be close to him, without having to shield myself with that bloody smirk or that fucked-up superiority ... and I liked it! I liked being that close to him, just being able to watch him from the other side of the table, and to actually be able to see him smile at... at me!!! ..... And it just makes it so much worse ..."

Fujin looked at him for a moment, seeing how he forced some control over himself, and steadied before her eyes. He straightened up, and wiped his face with both hands, almost in a cleansing motion. And then he once again looked at her, his eyes as sad as never before shown to anyone.

"So, you see, Fujin. You don’t know how I feel. And even less, do you understand what it is like to be me." he turned on his heel, and walked away from the booth. She got up and pulled her robe tighter around her shoulders, and went after him, wishing to say something to console him. Just to say something to ease his mind.

"Seifer..." she said as she lightly put her hand on his arm, and he turned around to face her, the sullen look on his face still there.

"Seifer...I...You... I know you Seifer. And you are not some freak! I knew, even before you told me, how you feel for Zell...and never did I have any objection! When I saw you steal glances at him when you thought that we didn’t see, I used to smile. I saw nothing wrong in you loving him from a distance." she reached up to stroke his cheek, " I only objected against the bullying, because I couldn’t understand it." she smiled at him warmly, "...You sure have changed since those days, Seifer. I’m glad you have... But don’t think so little of yourself, please! It hurts me, and Raijin too, to see you acting this way!! You really should gather some of that infamous courage of yours to go talk to Zell about this ...Before it is too late to tell him."

Seifer gave her a faint smile with little real feeling in it, and said:

"It already is too late, Fujin ..." he swallowed hard, "Maybe in another life could I tell him, but now... I can’t. ...We’re so far apart. Maybe if I had told him when he first came to Garden nine years ago...If I hadn’t wasted time falling into those same wornout tracks as when we were kids..."

When morning came, Zell woke up to the familiar sound of a knock on the

door to his home, and the mere sound of it made him twitch right awake.

What the..! he thought as he got up from bed and pulled on some clothes. The knocks were persistent, and when another dose of them came, he called out:

‘Coming! I’ll be right there!’ and then muttered under his breath as he hurried to answer the door, ‘Geezh, bloody fuckin’ bitch of a mornin’...’

He opened the door with a frustrated grumble, ‘Yes, yes, what is it!’ but as his strangely blurred vision cleared, he saw Seifer, wearing the same old shirt and jacket, boots and pants and leather gloves. Trails of dark red made their way up to him from all the way down by the trail leading to Zell’s door, and further.

He was leaning against one of the supporting beams, bleeding from the back of his head, and in the middle of his chest his shirt was only a big gash of red. Zell stumbled backwards a step, and then lunged forward, as the silent plea came from Seifer’s blue toned lips.

‘Help me...please Zell...’

Zell caught him just in time before he plummeted to the hard wooden floor of the porch, his eyes burning with tears.

‘Seifer!!! Open your eyes, oh Gods! Please, Seifer, don’t you dare die on me!’ he tried to shake some life into the wounded man, and heard his own voice come to a blood curdling cry as Seifer’s last breath left his lips.

‘NooOOOooo!!!!’

As he woke up, he gasped for air, and bolted out of bed. He clutched at his chest, where his heart was beating franticallly. Down his back, a coldsweat trickled, and as he ran his fingers through his damp hair, a desperate thought struck him. He rushed out of his bedroom, into the small corridor, and down the stairs. Then further, into the livingroom and past the entrance to the kitchen. As he saw the door, he did not slow down one bit. Instead he went even faster, his mind screaming in fear. He tore the door open and lunged himself out on the porch, expecting the worst. He stopped short, and stared at the bloodstained wooden floor.

By the supporting beam, lay a small white bird; a dove covered in blood. The white feathers on the wings moved slightly, barely noticable, and its chest heaved as it took its last breath. Then, up on the porch, jumped his cat, the white and brown fur slightly red at the nose and paws. She gave a questioning meowl, and picked up the bird in her mouth.

"NO!" Zell roared, and grabbed after his frightened cat, which dropped her prey instantly and fled. He sunk to the floor, his whole body shaking. At first not able to breathe, his breaths came in small quivering huffs of air. And then, it all burst for him, all of the tension and fear just melted away into a flood of tears, his screams muffled as his hands tightly blocked his mouth.

It was just a dream... he thought, repeating it to himself as a mantra, It was just a dream.. just a dream...

"Selphie? May I come in?" the young man with the dark auburn hair asked.

"Yes, of course, Squall. Come on in!" Selphie answered his request and spun her chair around, smiling at him. He entered the small office; Selphie’s office at Trabia Garden.

"I heard from Irvie, that you had some sort of dispute earlier today."

She nodded, and Squall sat down in the small couch beside the desk.

"Yes, we did, I’m afraid." she said, "...about my choice of invitations, that is."

"About Seifer."

"Yeah. Your loverboy wasn’t exactly thrilled to have a reunion..."

"Was that a hint of jealousy I heard?" Squall smiled at her, and she smirked.

"I don’t know... I mean, I can’t really believe it yet..." she looked up from lowered eyes, smiling at him.

"Well, that makes two of us. I’m really trying to get a hold of it all. I can’t believe we’re actually a couple!!!" Squall’s face brightened up with the happiest smile Selphie had ever seen him smile. It was one of those smiles that just rubbed off on others, and she found the corners of her own lips stretching into a grin.

"I’m happy for you, Squall! I don’t think I’ve seen you as radiant as these last few months... I hope everything works out for the two of you."

"So do I..." Squall smiled, and then the tiniest hint of a frown showed in his face, "It’s just that ...he’s kind of protective, you know, since I had that accident with the T-Rexaur back in Balamb, last month."

"Yeah, I heard about that. How is the wound? Has it healed alright?"

"Uhuh. It’s just fine now, but Irvie...he..can’t really get over it. And this thing about Seifer!" Squall let out a small annoyed grunt, "We all know that Seifer couldn’t have done all those things on his own... by himself. And we know just what sort of control that sorceress had over both him and...a lot of people..." Selphie nodded, and gave small sigh. Then, suddenly her eyebrows twitched, as if they were about to crease, and she looked up at Squall, her eyes gleaming.

"...did you ever notice..." but then she changed her mind, "..no, forget it..."

"What?"

"...Remember, when we were on our first real mission? ...before we became SEEDs?"

Squall nodded, and said:

"Go on."

"I was just thinking... Oh, this is going to sound so stupid!" she sighed, shaking her head, "..but..ever since you told us out about your relationship, I have kinda been looking back at things. Like how I never noticed all the looks you gave each other whenever you were in the same room, or on the same mission...how you always tried to stay close to each other ..."

"Yes?"

"Well, I never noticed back then...but when I thought about it, it was suddenly so obvious, so out in the open. I was just so focused on how I thought you and

Rinoa was going to become a couple, that I never even thought twice about it.

And, then, considering this, I started thinking about how we all might have misjudged Seifer... How we all were so hung up on his attitude against us, and how he became the Sorceress’s Knight, that we maybe never saw the real Seifer!"

"...so that’s why you invited him! You wanted to test your theory!"

"Hn...yeah..." she smirked, and Squall grinned. He leaned in closer, and whispered to her, just so no one would hear, in case someone happened to be right outside the door:

"...quite honestly, I have a theory of my own...and it most certainly involves Seifer..."

After taking care of the savagely killed dove, Zell went to wash himself off, right after muttering curses at himself for getting so freaked out over some silly ‘dream come not-even-halfway true’. He hurried to pack his bags, and checked on the timetable for the next train to Timber making sure he wouldn’t get there too late to catch it. As he packed down his kitty’s things too, she got a suspicious look on her furry face. The almost shining green eyes glared at him as if to say, ‘Oh, no! I’m not coming with you on that stupid journey of yours!’.

He smiled, and went to get the small cage that both he and his beloved cat hated.

"Don’t you worry, Myrrh, I hate this as much as you do. The Gods know you’re gonna get me for this when we get to Trabia, aren’t you?" he picked his, for the time being, nice, not clawing or biting, cat up. With a look into her eyes, he scratched her behind the ears, and she started purring contentedly.

"We both know this is necessary... they won’t let me on the train unless you travel in this awful thing, and I couldn’t leave you here, without anyone taking care of you, could I?" his cat seemed to be accepting the terms, but as he was about to put her into the plastic cage, she turned around and started biting, and clawing her, or rather his, heart out. After a lot of hissing and cursing, Zell finally managed to get her into the cage, and close the door safely so she wouldnt escape when he didn’t notice.

"Damn it!" he cursed, and went to clean the cuts and bitemarks covering his right hand and forearm, "...guess I wont be wearing this shirt to the festival..." he noted to himself, looking at the torn pieces of cloth that once was the dark green sleeve of one of his favourite turtleneck sweaters. After he had cleaned his wounds up, he made sure to wrap the worst wounded part of his forearm in a thin sort of bandages. That cat can bite as hell! And those claws!! he thought, and went to change into some other sweater. As he found one that was comfortable enough for the Timber weather, and warm enough for Trabia, he pulled it over the vest he was already wearing.

"Then off we go, Myrrh! To Trabia Garden, and Selphie’s festival!!" he said

cheerfully to his silent cat, her eyes staring at him from within the cage. Myrrh did not like that cage.

The day proceeded at the restaurant, as most other days did, except for the fact that Seifer was more silent than usual.

By the time, that Father Time had slugged himself up to noon, Seifer stood in the center of the kitchen, mopping the floor after an accident with a bowl of soup.

"’ey Seifer!" one of the female cooks called out to him. He looked up and saw that she had a small smirk on her lips, her eyes were sparkling at him, "I think da floor is clean ‘nough now..."

He looked back down at the floor, and saw, that it was sparkling clean. The young girl proceeded, not taking her eyes off of him:

"What you thinkin’ ‘bout?" being one of the new employees, Seifer still had some getting used to her accent; it was one thing to hear Raijin go on in that manner, but this young woman...it was a tad bit more difficult to get used to. Her sandy red hair and freckles went quite well with her green eyes and pale skin, but Seifer, being the man he was, only found her to be ‘cute’ ....even though the other guys at the restaurant went after her like they had never seen a woman in years. And, even in spite of this, she didn’t pay them any attention. Apparently, she found Seifer to be more of interest. Suddenly the radio at the staff entrance cracked and buzzed, as someone was trying to change the station.

Seifer’s head snapped up as he heard the annoying voice of the annoying radio show host telling all of the ‘faithfully listening fans’ that it was now time for the ‘Wishing Hour’ of the week. The voice continued, as cheerful as always, to greet one of the listening fans that had called in to make a request. By this time, just about everyone present was turned to the small radio, in hopeful expectation of what the next request would be.

"So, here I welcome our next caller! Hello, my man, and, will you please introduce yourself to the listeners!"

When Seifer heard the voice, his heart almost stopped.

"Hiya everyone! I’m Zell, and I live in Balamb..."

"Well, well, Zell...Haha!! I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist..."

"It’s ok. I mean, we all know what sort of a humour you’ve got..."

Seifer could perfectly picture that grin, sparkling along with his blue eyes.

The others working at the restaurant laughed at Zell’s quick remark, and Seifer

smiled for the first time that day.

"Aow! Ya sure got me there, Zell. So, how’s it goin’? Have any special plans for tonite?"

"Well, right now I’m on the trainstation, waiting for the train to take me to

Timber and then I’m off to Trabia with the cruise liner...And I just

happened to hear you’re plead on the radio; ‘Please, somebody, call me!!!’

...and I thought I’d be merciful, since I am somebody, not just *anybody*..."

The kitchen filled with laughter once again, and Seifer thought to himself, that the annoying man with the annoying voice deserved to get some of his own medicine.

"’ey! I think I better cut you off, before you get to host my show instead of me!! ... So, what song will you introduce to our listeners today?"

"I was thinking about a song, that I haven’t heard on the radio in at least five or six years, and it is one of my favourites, so..."

"Well, then, what are you waiting for? Make your request and...may I add, maybe even send someone special a little special greeting?"

"I was going to, I *promise*! ...To get back to being serious..."

"Were we ever?"

"Are you, like, a compulsive interrupter, or what?!...Ok, I would like to request the all-time classic Blurry Eyes, by L’arc en ciel, which is my favourite band ever since I was a little kid."

"Yeah, it is a nice song. Is there someone you would like to dedicate it to?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact there is! I would like to dedicate it to someone very special to me...someone that made my time at Garden both a nightmare and worth while... It’s because I always thought of those eyes, when I heard this song, that I wanted to hear it again... You know who you are, and remember what I told you last night! Make that romantic dream come true once and for all! ...Well, I kinda have to go now, ‘cuz my train’s coming... Bye, now!"

"Thank you Zell, for that cool, even though it was odd, request of yours. Here ya go!"

Everyone in the kitchen back at the restaurant made the unmistakable approving sound of ‘Aww!!’...everyone except for Seifer, who stood frozen, as if he had just received a blow from Shiva. He felt, he couldn’t move.

He couldn’t! No...he didn’t mean... he thought, but was abruptly interrupted by Fujin’s twittering laughter as she jumped up and threw her arms around his neck.

"You see!!! I told you! I told you!!"

The redheaded girl turned around to face the two friends, and smiled a mysterious smile.

"Was dat some friend of yers, Seifa? He sure sounded kee-ute! ...Maybe, even ...sexy, is he?"

Seifers face went red with the insinuation, and Fujin just hugged him even

tighter.

"I told you! What did I tell you, huh? Didn’t I tell you that everything would work out just great?"

"Uhm... No, you didn’t..."

As Zell climbed aboard the train that was to take him to Timber, he made sure he had everything with him; the bag, the cat, the backpack...everything was in order.

He was showed to his compartment, which he didn’t share with anyone, for the time being. He took a deep breath and gratefully put down his luggage on the floor. With heavy, tired steps, he went over to the big couch in the back of the room, and sat back against the cosy pillows with a contented sigh.

The kitty in the cage on the floor gave an unapproving growl, and glared at him through the small bars of the ‘door’.

"I know you don’t like this, Myrrh." he said, his arm over his eyes, as he tried to get to sleep, "..but that only makes two of us... Welcome to the club, kitty."

Myrrh gave a disappointed meowl, and rested her furry head on her white paws.

Soon, as the train started moving, getting into the rythm of the familiar chug-a chug-a sound, Zell and his cat drifted to sleep ...

As Zell blinked his eyes open, his vision blurred by something he couldn’t figure out, he took a deep breath and was surprised; the smell of flowers was in the air. He blinked a few more times, and as his vision cleared, he heard an all but unfamiliar voice speak to him.

‘Mornin’, Sleepy-head...’ the voice said, so warm and kind. He looked up into the gray blue eyes of his childhood friend and foe, who stood up in front of him, shielding the sun from blinding his eyes. He wore a tight, glowing black shirt, and a pair of equally black trousers. His feet were bare, as were his hands.

‘Seifer...what is this?’ he asked, as the strangely glowing Seifer reached out a hand to help him get to his feet. He took it and was pulled to his feet, still staring at Seifer, glowing with a honey glowing aura. Neither let go, and Zell found he couldn’t take his eyes off Seifer’s; they seemed so sad, and yet so...happy. Happier than ever ...

‘I’m glad you came.’ Seifer said to him, whispering softly.

‘But..where am I?’

‘You’re here. Isn’t that enough? Do you really need to know where you are, to accept the surroundings?’

‘No...not really...’ Zell said, doubting the answer was correct to the trick question.

‘This is the place, where you keep all of your hopes, Zell. Your most inner self, one might say...’

Zell’s brow furrowed, and he looked down at the hold they still had on each

others hands.

‘Then, what are you doing here? And...why am I here, when I’ve never been here before?’

‘... I want to show you something..’ Seifer replied, his face lit up by a smile, ‘Come on! It isn’t far!’

‘What? What do you want to show me?’ Zell protested as Seifer pulled him

along, holding his hand in a firm grip.

Only now, did Zell look around, and he saw this; a barren landscape, but still strangely enough, covered with fields of flowers everywhere. The sky was blue and almost seemed graspable, the air was fresh, and filled with the scent of thousands of flowers. The sun shone brightly, and there was not one cloud in sight. What scared him was, that he couldn’t see any end to the fields of flowers, nor did he see where Seifer so obstinately pulled him along to.

‘Where are you taking me?! Tell me, Seifer! I want to know!!’

Seifer turned around as he was running forward, and smiled like a little boy.

‘Just wait and see...’ he turned back forward again, ‘Look! Were already getting there!’

Zell looked where Seifer was pointing, and gasped at the sight. Three giant, blazing, dark orbs, soaring in the air. Lightning starting at one place on the shining surface, to strike down at the other side of the orb. The lightning looked exactly like the lightning of Diablos giant orbs of black magic. But they were blue, instead of bright yellow, and they travelled, between each other as well as around themselves.

The two came to a stop, Zell staring at the three giant orbs in front of him, and Seifer watching them with a smile on his lips.

‘What the Hyne is this!!’

Seifer turned to his questioning face, and smiled a small smile.

‘These are the three orbs of your past, present, and future.’

‘What?’

Zell looked at Seifer’s smiling, peaceful face, and then at the orbs, when Seifer raised a hand in a circling motion towards the first orb. The black, color-shifting surface of the orb, became transparent, and it took on an almost eerie white light. In the centre of the orb, there was a small child curled up in a fetal position. The blond hair was all tousled up, and the face was peaceful in its sleep.

‘This is you as the child you were.’ Seifer said, ‘This is the child you still have in you. The innocent part, the naive part, and the kind part of you, that still remains within you.’ he turned to look at Zell’s confused face, ‘Never lose touch of your inner child, Zell. It could mean the end of you, and all of your dreams.’

Zell stood paralyzed, staring at Seifer, and then at the child floating in mid-space within the orb.

‘That’s me??’

‘Yes. That is still a big part of who you are, and it was what made you who you are today.’ Seifer said, and turned to the second orb, making that same circling motion towards it, as he had done with the first. The orb opened up just like the other had, and took on the same eerie glow, but the color was different. Now, the glow was a pale shade of blue, and within the orb, floated the perfect image of the Zell he was right then and there, curdled up in a fetal position, just as the image of his inner child. Seifer spoke once again.

‘This is the man you are today. The kindness still there, and maybe even a bit of naivity still present. But your innocence is no longer as big a part as when you were a child. The love and care towards others are still there, but you have grown precautious, suspicious even. Maybe this is good, but maybe it isn’t. Only the future will tell.’

‘You don’t mean to tell me that something bad is gonna happen? Like some sort of bad prophecy?’ Zell asked, suddenly feeling uncomfortable standing there.

‘No. I don’t know such things. Only you know yourself that well.’

‘What do you mean, "Only you know yourself..."? How am I supposed to know my own future?!’

‘You aren’t. That’s why I’m showing you this. So that you will know your past and present self, and choose your path with these two as your starting-point.’

Zell took his eyes away from the image of himself floating in pale blue light, and turned to Seifer.

‘...But what about the third orb?’

Seifer’s smile slowly faded away, and was replaced by a solemn look.

‘The third orb, I cannot show you. I do not have the power to, because I only know your present and past self. Only the Gods know what you will become, or how the present *you* will change. The third orb remains sealed, unbroken, until the day you rejoin with the ones who created you at the birth of time itself. Only then will you be allowed to see what you were, and what you became.’

Zell remained silent, and only watched as Seifer closed the orbs by one more motion of his hand. Zell suddenly realized they had been holding hands ever since he came to this weird place, or as Seifer said, his most inner self.

With a small smile, he squeezed the bare hand, and looked up at Seifer, who once again smiled that warm smile.

‘It is time for us to part now, Zell. It is time for you to return to the real world.’ ‘The real world?’ Zell said, ‘...then, what is this, if it isn’t part of the real world?’

‘It is the field of all minds, the most secret hidingplace for every soul that walks on the planet.’

Zell looked at those dark eyes, and that pale skin in contrast to the black he was wearing. A warm wind came from the sky, and with it a swarm of flower petals, swirling around them in a small whirl, the scent of flowers overwhelming him.

‘I don’t want to leave.’ Zell heard himself saying, but didn’t even think twice. It was what he wanted to say; it was the truth, and Zell needed to make it known.

‘We will meet again, Zell. In the real world, or perhaps, in our dreams. But now, you can’t stay any longer. You must go, and so must I.’

‘No. Please don’t make me leave.. I want to stay here with you! Please Seifer...’

With a slow motion, Seifer pulled him closer, still holding on to his hand, then releasing it to wrap his arms around Zell’s shoulders. With a soft, warm voice, he whispered into Zell’s ear:

‘Don’t forget me. Don’t forget yourself. Now, open your eyes and be gone from this place ...’

Zell groggily opened his eyes, and squinted in the bright light of the lamp in the cabin of the train. In a slow thought, he came to the conclusion:

Man, that was some weird dream!!

As he came to, the buzzing sound of the speakers crackling, as a voice broke the silence, forced him to focus his mind on the present.

"We will be arriving at the Timber Train Station, in approximately ten minutes due to a slight delay. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you very much for choosing to travel with the Balamb Railroad company!"

"Yeah right! Thanks a lot, Balamb Railroad Company!"

"Excuse me?"

Zell nearly jumped up the ceiling at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. He turned swiftly to the source of the voice, and saw a blue-haired young man, perhaps a bit younger than himself, sitting on the other side of the couch.

"’ey! Who’re you!" Zell grunted, slightly embarrassed of being so startled.

"Well, for the moment, I am your fellow traveller, sir, but not for much longer. How unfortunate *that* may ever be..." clearly, Zell wasn’t the only one in a bad mood.

"Excu-use me! You’re the one who scared me half out of my wits in the first place!" Zell said, not liking his ‘fellow traveller’ much.

"Like you were ever likely to have any wits to begin with..." the stranger mumbled from under his breath.

"Hey! I heard that!!" Zell burst out. That guy had a lot of nerve.

"... Sorry. Guess I didn’t have too much of a good day." the blue-haired man said, "I apologize for my bad behaviour, sir. My name is Aqua."

"Aqua? Like in ‘water’?"

"No. Like in the Shazna single." Aqua said dryly, sarcasm was obvoiously something he had a nack for. Zell gave a small chuckle, and reached his hand out for Aqua to shake.

"I’m Zell. Nice ta meet ya!"

"The pleasure was *all* mine." Aqua replied, with a smirk, "So, Zell. Where are ya headed?"

"To Timber. And you?"

"Obviously, I am, too."

"Oh! Yeah... I forgot."

Aqua smirked, and looked at the cage set on the floor by Zell’s feet.

"... Your cat’s quite the defensive one. She’s been hissin’ and glaring at me ever since I entered right after the train took off!"

"Oh.. Well, maybe all those lessons in manners never did work out for her..." Zell *was* being sarcastic; sending a cat to a lesson in manners wouldn’t ever work. Aqua grinned:

"Yeah, right!"

"We are now arriving at the Trabia Train Station. Please stand by, and thank you for travelling with the Balamb Railroad Company." the crackling voice that flowed from the speakers said, and the two travellers looked at each other once more.

"Well, I guess we’ll part ways now, Zell. It‘s been nice meetin’ ya!"

"Likewise!" Zell replied, shaking Aqua’s hand good-bye.

As the afternoon sun was broiling the setting of Timber, the train from Balamb slowly chug-a chugged its way up to the station. The doors opened, and out flowed a stream of people on their way into Timber. Zell stepped down from the train and stretched a bit, yawning. Aqua jumped off the train shortly after him, looking around, his big ruby eyes sparkling in the late afternoon sunlight.

"Wow! It so cool!!" he exhaled, and Zell turned around to look at him.

"Ya mean you’ve never been to Timber?"

"That’s right, I haven’t!"

They went on down the stairs to the open field with railroad tracks going from side to side. As they proceeded, Aqua turned to Zell, an almost concerned look on his face.

"Uhm...Zell?"

"Mhmm?" Zell murmured, still feeling so tired, in spite of the fact that he slept through almost all the way to Timber.

"...Do you know the way to the Timber Hotel?"

"Yeah, sure I do! If it hasn’t moved, that is. I’m heading there myself, so you just tag along."

"Great!"

*********

Night fell over Balamb, and Seifer sat up by the window next to the entrance in the restaurant. He had just closed up, and cleaned the place, swooping the floor and wiping the tables. To his utter surprise, there came a man in a green uniform and knocked on the door, on his back there hung a big backpack. He had a cap on his head, and it rested not entirely safe on his head, lopsided as it was.

Seifer went up and opened the door, and asked the old man what he could do to help.

"Nothin’ son. I came to deliver some mail, and for once it ain’t no bills!"

"Mail?" Seifer asked, unaccustomed to being the one to receive the bundle of

mail from the mailman, as it was mostly Raijin who took care of such things.

"Hey, are you mailman Morris?" Seifer asked, a curiosity scratching at the edge of his mind.

The old man looked at him with a questioning look on his face.

"Well, yes, I am. How come you know such things of me, when I haven’t even introduced me-self?"

"Well...I..." Seifer started, but was interrupted by mailman Morris.

"Never mind, son. It’s nice to know people recognize me. So, here’s your mail, young man. Take care."

A tad bit confused, Seifer said:

"Take care...you, too.." he went back in and locked the door after himself. He looked through the small bundle of letters and envelopes, and came across a small one, the intricate patterns caught his eyes. On the back of the envelope, there were letters written in an elegant fashion. It said: ‘Invitation’...

Seifer’s heart jumped, and he looked at the address written on it.

Seifer Almasy, c/o Raijin’s Restaurant, 0412 Miniel Street, Balamb

He gasped, and had to read it out loud, to believe it:

"Seifer Almasy, c/o Raijin’s Restaurant..."

He opened the envelope, so carefully, afraid that he might tear it apart if he didn’t show the most utter care. He slipped the card out of its envelope, and unfolded it.

You are hereby invited to the Trabia Summer’s Festival, this week, the 5th-12th of Julia. The Trabia Summer’s Festival, arranged and sponsored by Selphie Tilmitt, president of Trabia Garden.

"Selphie...president of Trabia Garden?" he creased his brows, but only briefly. Soon, he found his own face stretching with a wide smile. A cry of joy escaped his lips, and he turned and ran up the stairs to tell his friends of the wonderful news.