A Trial of
Strength
By
Morning
came, and with it, the silent twitter of birds outside in the small park of
flowers decorating the scenery of the Mishima Grand Hotel. It was now, that Jin
Kazama woke up, from having the most peaceful dreams he had had in a very long
time. For once, life was looking to be a little easier on him, and it was with
grand anticipation that he opened his eyes. In his semi-awake condition, he was
looking forward to spending the day with Hwoarang. He squinted his eyes in the
light from the windows; the sun was shining directly on him, making his room
unpleasantly bright.
“Hwoarang?” he grunted, noticing that his love
wasn’t in bed with him, “Hwoarang, where are you?” he turned around to sit up,
and he sluggishly looked around the room. No one was there to be seen, and for
one fleeing moment Jin thought:
Maybe he’s in the bath
room... he
got up to check that his theory was
right, and knocked on the bath room door.
“Hwoarang? Are you in there?” he knocked once again,
“Hwoarang?” and then opened the door slightly so he could peek inside without
really disturbing anyone’s privacy. When he didn’t see any light shining from
the lamp inside, he opened the door further and turned the lights on. Not a
soul was to be seen, and Hwoarang’s clothes were missing from the shower cabin.
So was the big bath towel that Jin had placed on the bureau. Hwoarang was gone.
He had left.
He didn’t even stay until
morning.
He walked out of the bath room, trying to deny
listening to the voice telling him that Hwoarang didn’t really care, that
Hwoarang had only used his feelings to fool him, to make Jin trust him, when he
shouldn’t have.
Maybe I’ll see him at the
training hall today. Then, maybe we’ll have a chance to talk, and he’ll tell me
why he left so soon. With that in mind, he hurried
to get dressed in the clothes he had chosen to wear the night before, and
hurried to the training ground, almost running all the way out of the hotel and
out on the street.
I have to see him! Have to
talk to him...
When he arrived at the training
ground, he was more than happy to see
Hwoarang being busy working on his balance, trying to put weight on his
slowly healing leg. Jin found a smile stretching itself on his face, and he
hurried up to his love, who still hadn’t noticed his arrival. “Hwoarang!” he called out, still being about
ten steps away from him. Hwoarang turned around with a seemingly surprised
frown on his face when he saw that Jin was the one who had called his name out
so joyfully. He gave him a nod, and greeted him:
“Kazama.” and then he turned back to doing his
exercises. Jin’s face dropped, and he continued looking at Hwoarang, more
confused than ever. Walking up to Hwoarang a thought struck him without mercy. He called me Kazama...
“Hey,
I thought we’re passed that ‘Kazama’ thing...” he tried, smiling nervously,
“You can call me Jin, you know.” he said, fighting against the fear rising all
the way down from his toes.
With a small glance, Hwoarang answered, not even
bothering to turn around to face him: “I’d rather not, you know.”
Jin’s face went pale, and he felt the fear rising
even faster, now reaching all the way up to his chest. Jin leaned closer,
careful so no one else would hear him, he whispered: “But what about last
night? You called me Jin then... And you didn’t seem to...”
Hwoarang turned around, and if Jin ever hoped he
would, he quickly regretted it, because the look on Hwoarang’s face said more
than any words ever could. His eyes were void of emotion, and his whole face
was cold, as was his voice. “I am truly sorry if I led you to believe that
anything were to change between the two of us, Kazama.”
Jin’s
chest pounded with fear, and he tried to keep his eyes from burning behind his
lowered eyelids.
“B-but...What about the things you told me... You
said you needed..” Hwoarang abruptly interrupted him, his voice no more than a
hiss through gritted teeth:
“I needed sex, and you were there to offer it, Kazama...
It wasn’t anything more than that. I’m sorry if you were led to think...”
“Led to think!! I wasn’t led to think anything,
Hwoarang. You told me you were a good way fallin’ in love with...”
“That’s just what you’re expected to say, Kazama.”
“...expected to say...?” Jin felt his heart turning
into a mass of pure knifes, stabbing him in the chest.
“And you just chose to tell me that in here? Why not
last night?...” as realization dawned on him, he whispered, more to himself
than anything else:
“...So I wouldn’t have any chance to make a scene
out of it...”
He could feel how nausea swiftly rose in his throat.
And to think I... he thought, and
found himself rushing for the men’s locker room, and one of the toilets
connected to that very room. As he bent over the sink, hurling his guts out,
all he could think about was how he had trusted Hwoarang... to actually allow
him to be that close to him.
“He used me...” tears fell from his eyes as he
reached for a paper towel to wipe
his
mouth, and he found there was nothing more he could say. No more words escaped
his mouth, nothing but; “He used me...” he flushed the toilet along with the
paper towel, and he went staggeringly out to the locker room. He wanted to
scream, he wanted to tear the whole place apart, he wanted to hurt everybody
because they would never understand if he told them. And mostly, he wanted to
disappear into infinity, to escape the shame and utter embarrassment he felt.
To escape the feeling he had of being stained, of being made filthy, both by
his actions and his feelings.
He plunged his fists into the side of one of the
rows of lockers, leaving nothing more than a punched-in wall of metal. “Hey, are you alright?” a voice came from
out of nowhere, and a hand was placed on his shoulder. Without even looking,
Jin struck with a blood-chilling holler, the punch so forceful, it hurdled the
one willing to help into the wall of lockers.
A
grunt came from the shadowy figure slumped on the bench that kept him from
hitting the floor, tightly holding on to his nose.
“Geeshh,
Jid! I bas only tryid’ ta help!!” the obviously angered voice spoke, and Jin
instantly saw who he had struck.
“Law!”
he hurried up to the slumped, wounded man, “I’m so sorry, Law! I didn’t know it
was you... I thought.. I don’t know what I thought...”
“Bell, duh! I askeb ya how ya was doid’, ad’ thed ya
hid me!! Peoble gez dow’t do that!!”
Jin sat down on the bench in front of Law. “I didn’t
break your nose, did I?” he asked, worry written all over his face.
“Do, bud albost, I thi’k....” Jin went for another
paper towel, and handed it to Law, who gladly accepted it.
“I’m really sorry!!”
“Id’s ok....” he went silent for a moment, and
looked at Jin, unsure where and how to start, “Uh... Jid... Whad’s goid’ od
bedween you ad’ Hwoarang?”
“Nothing.” Jin said, and added to himself, Obviously.. He felt pain sweep over him
again, and it made his mind and heart heavy. He found he couldn’t keep his head
up, and he tried his best to avoid Law’s eyes that were full of friendly concern.
“Dothid’, you say...”
Jin nodded, and looked up at him for a brief moment:
“How come you ask this of me? You know Hwoarang’s
my...rival, and...
opponent
in battle, nothing more.”
Law
leaned forward a bit, and looked Jin straight in the eyes, a small smile of
pity on his lips.
“If thad bas all he meadt to you, Jid, ya bould’t
have hesidaded.”
Jin sighed, and feeling his lower lip starting to
tremble, he clamped his hand over his mouth, so he wouldn’t start crying out
loud. Is it really that obvious...What I
feel ...is that obvious? “How did you know?” was all he could say,
staring down at the ground, knowing that if he saw the pity in Law’s eyes
again, everything would burst for him; he couldn’t take it.
“Firsd, it bas the bay the two of you actid’ all
strange yesterday. How you rad out of here...” he pointed out to the training
ground, “..sumthid’ based’t right.. You seemed hurt, ad’ when Hwoarang came
hoppid’ after you, almost pullid’
Yoshimidsu along, to have some support...” Law went silent for a brief moment,
and then continued, his voice just a bit more careful, “Sumthid’ happe’d
bedween the two of you, did’t it?”
Without looking up, afraid to see the look of
disgust on Law’s face when he told him, Jin sighed hesitantly .“...I.. I kissed him...”
When Law didn’t say anything in a long time, Jin
lost his nerve, as well as his patience.
“Well say something!! Don’t just sit there and judge me in silence! It’s
ok, really... You can say it, I don’t mind! Why don’t you just get it over with
and tell me I’m some sick, perverted..!!”
“Jid!” Law’s sudden words brought an end to Jin’s,
and he found himself on the verge of breaking down. He put his hands to his
face, and lowered his head so Law wouldn’t see the pain in every part of his
body. Law continued:
“Jid,
I’m tryid’ to be a friend.. Maybe ebed a medtor, sidce I do have a few more
years of experiedce thad you..”
“Only six...” Jin sighed, his whole body trembling.
“Bell, sumtimes, six years are all it takes, Jid.
You should’t be so hard od yourself, love’s a wodderful thing, in whateber form
it may take.” Law leaned forward, and put a hand on Jin’s arm, “Jid, do you
know what Hwoarang feels about this?”
Jin nodded without words, clamping his hands over
his mouth, his breaths coming and going in shallow, trembling sobs. From his
tightly clutched eyes, big tears came rolling down his face and hands, staining
his skin with glassy trails of pain.
“Oh... I’m sorry, Jid, I truly am...”
“And how do you think I feel!!!” Jin burst out, not
caring anymore who knew, or who saw him in his pain. Nothing mattered anymore.
His voice trembled, and he took great gulps of air in between sentences.
Whispering, he started:
“He
used me!!.... He made me think he
felt the same and.... He told me that he was falling in love with... with me... and... he...told me he wanted
me...needed me...and now.. ..It’s..as if nothin’ ever happened...and I...” he
was now crying openly. Law asked, carefully, so he wouldn’t upset the younger
man even further:
“Bas this last dight? Whed your door deeded
fixid’?” Jin nodded. “I saw how he
sdook id.. I dod’t ‘dow why I did’t react, I just... I guess I did’t think
about it... Jid, let me ask you, if I’m dot crossing the lide...but, were the
two of you idtimate with each other..?”
Jin nodded, and sniveled: “I gave him a frickin’ blowjob for fuck’s sake!!!”
Law raised an eyebrow: “Bell, I sure did’t deed to know that part... But this does
complicate things...” he sighed, and took a firmer hold on Jin’s arm: “Look at me, Jid! This may sou’d strange,
coming from me a’d all, but you’re a very ha’dsome young man, ad’ as far as I
‘dow, you have a big heart, ad’ you are of a ki’d nature. I dod’t think
Hwoarang could do such a thing to you id cold blood, because he too is of a ki’d nature.”
“Kind nature, my ass!!” Jin growled, and gave up a
heavy sigh.
“Led’s nod get graphic... Now, bhy dod’t you help me
get to a doctor or sumthid’, so I can get someode to take a look at this, huh?
Ad’ maybe later, we cad come up with sumthid’ to do...”
Jin nodded with one last trembling sigh, and Law
stood up, still with his hand on Jins’ shoulder. “You go wipe dhose tears away, and I’ll go get my things. Looks
like I wod’t be doing ady stadces today...” he smiled, and Jin got up, a
regretful look, maybe even scared, on his face.
“I really am sorry, Law!.... And I didn’t really
mean to tell you all that stuff...”
“Id’s ok.. Id’s ok. Dow led’s get a move on, before
my dose falls off.”
Jin nodded, and wiped his tears away, and when Law
went for the entrance to the training ground, Jin stopped him. “No! Please, not that way! I can’t face them
all.... and not him...”
“Dow, Jid, let’s go. There’s do use id hidid’ from
the people surrou’ding you...” Law had
a strange smile on his lips, he winked at Jin, and just before he opened the
door, he took a deep breath. And then his face changed into sheer agony... He
roughly punched the door, gave up a holler of misery so truthful, it made Jin
twitch, cold chills running down his spine.
Law burst the door open, and stumbled out of the locker room with a
stretched moan of pain. He stumbled backwards into the hall, whimpering:
“...Why Jid! Why did you do this to me!! A’d after all we’ve beed through...”
he gasped shallowly and stumbled further into the hall of puzzled fighters.
“I thought you said you lobed me!!” he almost sobbed
now, and when Jin came after him, with a mighty confused look on his face, Law
continued, still facing him. A sharp finger came out, pointing at him, full
with accusation. No one saw, though, that Law had a mischevious grin on his
face, meant only for Jin to see.
“Whad about all those dights, huh! Whad about them!!
A’d now you’re cheatid’
od
me... ...How could you, you basdard!!!”
Jin quickly followed Law’s lead, and put on an angry
face: “I love him, and you will not call names at him behind his back!!!”
he roared, and all of the watching fighters twitched at the fiery anger in his
voice.
“Oh! Like I lobe you?! Ad’ after what he did do you,
you dod’t think I have the right do?! You hid me because of what he did do
you!!! You asshole!!!”
“Don’t you dare talk back at me, Law! No matter what
you think, or how you feel, we’re through!”
“...You’re breakid’ up with me!?” They were getting closer to the exit, making
it look like Jin was chasing Law out of the training ground. He stopped right
before the doors, and gave a small snicker:
“You’re gettin’ too old for me anyway, Law... I just
had to find myself someone else before...”
“Doo old! Doo old!!! Whaddaya mean old! I’m 25!” Law
shrieked, and Jin pondered the picture of Law standing on stage, dazzling
thousands of spectators, but quickly found himself a biting comeback, and
didn’t miss the chance to further enhance the show.
“Yeah. And I’m 19. You figure out the difference. I
needed someone young, like myself, and he just happened to come along...” at
this comment, they were out the door.
There weren’t one single fighter left in the
training ground, who wasn’t sweatdropping. And soon, everyone were after them,
rushing out on the field that lay outside, looking to see Jin and Law continue
their ‘lover’s quarrel’, but they were nowhere to be seen. At the back of the
group stood Hwoarang, anxiously approaching the doors that were now wide
open. Jin....and ..Law..? he ground his jaws together sharply, refusing
to let it get to him. He tried to look out, past the mass of fighters, his
ice-blue eyes wide open. His eyebrows went up in a diagonal mirror of each
other, pointing to the center of his forehead. His eyes burned. So I
was nothing more than a... one night stand... A booty-call... his eyes went
down
to the floor, and he went back into the massive hall, back to where he had been
training when Law burst out of the locker room, so devastated, holding on to
his bleeding nose, trying to escape the wrath of Jin. I was... nothing more
..than...the other...man...
END OF CHAPTER 2