(On Seeing One on a Lady's Bonnet at Church)

Ha! whaur ye gaun, ye crowlin ferlie?
Your impudence protects you sairly;
I canna say but ye strunt rarely,
Owre gauze and lace;
Tho', faith! I fear ye dine but sparely
On sic a place.

Ye ugly, creepin, blastit wonner,
Detested, shunn'd by saunt an'sinner,
How daur ye set your fit upon her--
Sae fine a lady?
Gae somewhere else  and seek your dinner
On some poor body.

Swith! in some  beggar's haffet squattle;
There ye may creep, and sprawl, and sprattle,
Wi'ither kindred, jumping cattle,
In shoals and nations;
Whaur horn nor bane ne'er daur unsettle
Your thick plantations.

Now haud you there, ye're out o'sight,
Below the fatt'rels, snug and tight;
Na, faith ye yet! ye'll no be right,
Till ye've got on it--
The verra tapmost, tow'rin height
O'Miss's bonnet.

My sooth! right bauld ye set your nose out,
As plump an'grey as ony groset:
O for some rank, mercurial rozet,
Or fell, red smeddum,
I'd gie you sic a hearty dose o't,
Wad dress your droddum.

I wad na been surpris'd to spy
You on an auld wife'sflainen toy;
Or aiblins some bit duddie boy,
On's wyliecoat;
But Miss's fine Lunardi! fye!
How daur ye do't?

O Jeany, dinna toss your head,
An'set your beauties a'abread!
Ye little ken what cursed speed
The blastie's makin:
Thae winks an'finger-ends, I dread,
Are notice takin.

O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
An'foolish notion:
What airs in dress an'gait wad lea'e us,
An'ev'n devotion!