Finding people in the UK in 2016

To search or not to search? That is the question...

The first thing you should consider is whether or not the person you are looking for wants to be found. If you are pretty sure the person would not want you to find them, don't look for them. Not only is it unethical to do so, you are unlikely to receive a positive response from the person if you do find them. If your attentions are definitely unwelcome, you could be risking prosecution for stalking.

Missing persons

If the person you are seeking is a close family member who has recently gone missing, you can search on the UK Missing Persons Bureau website. If there is a likelihood that the family member has run away from home or has met harm, then you should contact your local police. You can read a good explanation of all this on the GOV.UK website.

Private detectives

Private detectives frequently offer a people search service, but they can be expensive and there is no guarantee that they will get better results than you could on your own. Below are some hints as to how you can conduct your own search.

Using online directories

if you know the town the person is in, and of course the surname, you can go to BT's Phone Book. This is the most up-to-date listing because it is updated soon after a new phone number is registered with BT itself.

Online tracing services

There are now several services such as Missing You which let you post search messages and peruse other people's messages free of charge. These are usually limited services which act as teasers for more extensive (and perhaps more effective) searches, for which you have to pay. However, as the number of people who post messages on such sites increases, the free service will become increasingly useful, so there is nothing to be lost by posting your query on them.

Social networks

Facebook is the most widely used social network, so you are most likely to find someone there. LinkedIn is also good, though it is mainly used for finding jobs, so it is of most use if the person you are looking for is a working professional; you are unlikely to find retired people or children on it.

The old boy (or old girl) network

An old school friend or fellow university student? Not so easy to trace someone through that connection these days, as FriendsReunited, which specialised in connecting schoolmates, closed down in early 2016. Google your old school and/or university. It probably has a site now, even if it didn't when you were there. Many now have specific sites for alumni associations; some of these even have a page designed to help you find old friends.

Making yourself easy to find

As well as actively searching for other people, you can maximise the chances of contacting old friends by making yourself easy to find on the Web. (Not recommended if you are trying to escape creditors or like to guard your privacy) There are various ways of raising your Internet profile. The simplest is to join a social network or online community, where you can post as much information about yourself as you are happy for complete strangers (and, possibly, some stray old friends) to read. You can mention your contact details, educational history, job, personal interests. Or you can just leave your email address. If you are even more adventurous, you could start your own Blog. You can do this easily and free of charge by using, for example, Google Blogger. Just go to Google and look for Blogger in the list of extras. Setting up your own website can be done quite cheaply, but is hardly worth it unless you want to do so for some other reason, such as publicising your work or selling things online.

I may be able to help...

I may be able to help, but only on an occasional basis (I don't have the time to answer a large number of requests). I don't charge for this service, but you may have to pay any incidental expenses; if so, I will only do so after you have explicity agreed to this, and the cost will probably be a few pounds at most. I do, though, expect to hear the results of any contact so that I can continue to improve the service. I reserve the right to refuse any request that I deem, for whatever reason, to be unsuitable (for example, a request which is related to debt collection or grievance).

How to contact someone when you have found them

Never ever call someone on the phone (or other instant contact such as Skype), even if their phone number is listed. (If it is unlisted, then you are unlikely to find it and I shall certainly not help with any attempt to do so.) And do not turn up on someone's doorstep uninvited and ring the bell. Both these are like "surprise attacks": you have the advantage of long preparation, while the other person has absolutely no time to consider the situation. They are also rude -- and rudeness doesn't leave a favourable impression. The best method of contact is an old-fashioned letter ("snail mail"). E-mail is a last resort in the unlikely event that you find the person's e-mail address but not their physical address. This is not only common courtesy, it is also more likely to produce a positive result, if one is possible.

This page was last updated on 7 April 2016.