Character Guide

Eric Cartman: He is the "fat kid" the other kids constantly make fun of him because of his weight. He's also the stupid one, who mixes things up, and makes himself look like an idiot. he lives with his hermaphroditic mother, who tries to make him feel better by feeding him "choclate chicken pot pies" and "Cheezy Poofs". Eric owns a cat called Kitty and a pig named Fluffy. Throughout the year he searched to find out who his father was, only to realize that his mother was his father and his mother is unknown. When Officer Barbrady is fired for his illiteracy, he becomes Deputy Cartman, and he begins to enforce the law in South Park.

Kyle Brofslovski: He is the smart one. Everyone makes fun of him because he is Jewish. At Christmas he plays with his "imaginary" friend Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo. He owns an elephant and has tried to mate it with Cartman's pig, Fluffy to form a new species of Pot-Bellied Elephants. Each week he announced that Kenny's killers are Bastards.

Stan Marsh: He the normal, average-American, mixed-up kid. He dates Wendy Testaburger, but he throws up every time she talks to him. He is the South Park Elementary Cows star Quarterback, has a gay dog named Sparky, and an older sister named Shelly, who beats him senseless. His aging grandfather, also lives with him and continually tries to pressure Stan into killing him. Every episode he announces Kenny's death by saying "Oh my god, they killed Kenny!"

Kenny McCormic: He is the unlucky one. He dies a differnet way in each episode. We have made a page with 101 ways to kill him and 101 people we would like to see kill him. He is poor and lives in a run-down shack with his poor drunk family. He muffles when he speaks, and we are left only to guess at what he has said, if you would like to see what our interpretation is of his speech <>.

Other Characters

Ike Ike is Kyle's little brother. Ike is adopted. He is really Canadian, hence the moving head like Terrance and Philip. He is often mistaken for a garbage can. Kyle enjoys kicking Ike, but deep down inside he loves him and defends him. Catch Phrase: Don't kick the baby!

Wendy Testaburger She is the little bitch of the kids. She hates anyone that tries to take Stan from her. Her best friend is Bebe, and she is going out with Stan. She is an enviornmentalist and according to Cartman a tree-hugger.

Mr Garrison He is the kids' 3rd grade teacher. He is semi-psycho and is rumored to be gay. He has an alter-ego that he expresses through the use of Mr. Hat (see below). During the second season he received a nose-job which made him look like David Hasselhoff, and he enjoys pretending that he is a Vietnam veteran. Lastly he mocks the children when they fail, partly because of his loss to Kathie Lee Gifford in a talent contest 25 years ago.

Mr Hat Mr. Hat is Mr. Garrison's hand puppet that he uses to express his negative feelings. Mr. Hat makes Mr. Garrison do terrible things like attempt to kill Kathie Lee Gifford. During the second season he was kidnapped and Mr. Garrison replaced him with Mr. Twiggy.

Mrs Crabtree Mrs. Crabtree is the school bus driver. She is mean, ugly, foul tempered, and the children will occasionally cuss her out. Her hearing is bad, and you will constantly hear her shout "What did you say?!!?" When she drove the bus off a cliff and into a river she left and became a star comedian.

Chef Chef is the school cafeteria's chef. He is a big influence on the children. He teaches them lessons in life and helps them out. He sings songs about sex to explain to the kids complicated situations. He is a womanizer who firmly belives in the existence of extraterrestrials (visitors). He coaches the school sports teams, and he led the dodgeball team to become World Dodgeball Champions.

Uncle Jimbo He is Stan's uncle who hosts a local television show called Huntin' & Killin'. His lifelong dream is to be on the cover of Guns & Ammo. He takes the children on a hunting trip where he reveals his passion for beer, explosives, and automatic weapons. He is also a Vietnam Veteran who tells the kids about how he eliminated the entire Viet Cong army with his lifelong buddy Ned.

Ned Ned is Jimbo's old war buddy who co-hoss Huntin' & Killin'. He blew his arm off with a grenade in Vietnam while helping to destroy the entire Viet Cong army. He also received throat cancer from smoking too many cigarettes and now must speak with the help of an electrolarynx (cancer kazoo) During the second season he was put into a catatonic state when he encountered the Mexican Staring Frog of Souther Sri Lanka.

Mayor She is the mayor of Southpark. She only cares about getting publicity, and her tries always make her look worse. She is a bad mayor, and her assistants make all the decisions for her. It is said she is affiliated with the Japenese Mafia. However, she is thorougly incompetant, and should not be in office.

Jesus The Son of God. Has His own cable access TV show called "Jesus and Pals." He has beaten Satan in a fight, as well as Santa. When his ratings fell he changed the format of his show to that of Jerry Springer and started a ratings-war with Ned & Jimbo's show Huntin' & Killin'.

Mrs Cartman Always ready to feed Cartman. Helps Cartman reinforce the idea that he's big boned. She is a Hemaphrodite, so she is actually Cartman's father. It is unknown who his mother is. But, she is known throughout town as a dirty-slut who has slept with he majority of the country. She has also appeared on the cover of Crack Whore Magazine.

Mrs Marsh She is Stan's Mother who tries to be a good mom. Little is known about her, but we do know that she doesn't like Kyle's Mom, Mrs. Broflovski (see below).

Mrs Broslofski Kyle's mom. She a bitch, plain and simple. She has something to say about everything. She ruined the towns Christmas by demanding everything related to Jesus or Santa be taken down. She also had Terrance and Phillip taken off the air.

Shelly Stan's sister. She wears headgear for her teeth, and beats the crap out of Stan. Although she doesn't like her litle brother, when he gets into trouble she sticks up for him and defends him, but in the end she still runs him over with a lawnmower.

Pip He is the annoying little French/English kid. He has no friends, and everybody makes fun of him. He is a wimp, but he is the town's star dodgeball player. He becomes enraged when called Frenchie, and he wound up with a cloned foot in his lunch.

Officer Barbrady Clueless police Officer. He is illiterate and encourages the kids not to read because reading sucks. He is in town to "Patronize & Annoy", or so his car reads. As stupid as he is, he catches the Chicken Lover with he help of the kids and Deputy Cartman.

Randy Marsh He is Stan's father, and the town's seismologist. He warns the town of the emininet volcanic eruption. Like his wife little else has been revealed about him.

Big Gay Al Owns "The Big Gay Animal Sanctuary" Helps gay animals find homes. He teaches the town that being Gay is alright, and not something to be afraid of or hated.

Scuzzlebutt Lord of the mountains; Patrick Duffy for a leg and celery for an arm; In his spare time he likes to weave wicker baskets. He saves the children, Ned, and Jimbo from certain death when the volcano that they are hunting on erupts. But in the end, Stan shoots him to prove his manhood.

Mr Hankey He is the mythical Christmas Poo who visits South Park when they eat enough fiber. He has no legs, and bounces around leaving shit-stains wherever he lands. He wears a little Santa hat and cries Howdy Ho.

Maphesto He is South Park's resident Genetic Engineer and runs the Genetic Engineering Ranch. His strange experiments lead to weird creatures like the four-assed monkey. His crazy, unkown brother shoots him each month.

Kevin He is Maphaesto's little friend who follows him around. He doesn't say anything and what he is exactly is unkown. He is protrayed by Eric Roberts on America's Most Wanted.

Starvin Marvin He is a poor starving African who is sent to South Park after the kids sign up to receive a watch. When Africa realizes their error, they accidentally take Cartman back, leaving Starvin' Marvin in America where he learns of our culture.

Visitors These are extraterrestrial beings that give Cartman an anal probe in the first episode. Carl, the new guy mistakenly turns some cows inside out. These visitors appear in each epiode in a different hidden location.

Grandpa He is Stan's Grandfather who continuously tries to kill himself or have Stan kill him. He is semi-senile and calls Stan "Billy" just like his grandfather called him before he in turn killed his grandfather. He wins the gand prize from America's Stupidest Home Videos when he sends in a video of Kenny getting hit by a train.

Mr Mackey He is the school's guidance counseler. He has a speech impetiment that causes him to say Hmmmm Okay after each sentence. During the second season he became a drug addict after he lost his job for passing out marijuana to the children. Eventually he was rescued from his habit by the A-Team, and brought into rehab.

Miss Ellen She substituted for Mr. Garrison when he got his nose-job, but she turned out to be a full-time replacement until Mr. Garrison came back. She was a lesbian, but was accused by Wendy of trying to steal Stan away from her. Eventually it was revealed that she was wanted by the Iraqi government for spying and she was shot into the sun.

Terrance He is one half of the Terrance & Phillip duo that have a hit television show and movie called "Not Without My Anus". Their humor consists of constant farting, and making fun of people. Eventually they save Canada from Iraqi invasion, and kill Saddam Hussein.

Phillip He is one half of the Terrance & Phillip duo that have a hit television show and movie called "Not Without My Anus". Their humor consists of constant farting, and making fun of people. Eventually they save Canada from Iraqi invasion, and kill Saddam Hussein.

Sparky He is Stan's gay dog. At first he is hated by Stan because of his homosexuality, so he flees to Big Gay Al's Animal Sanctuary where he can be accepted for what he is. In the end, Stan realizes his error and takes him back home. He also wears a pink bandana.