Written by Caesar



Transformation
Part 1


RUMINATIONS

Maeve pressed forward against the rail of the Nomad, at the bow of the ship, her arms wrapped around herself. It was night. A full moon laid a path of light across the sea right to the bow. A light wind blew a few stray hairs across her face. The ship was quiet except for the slap-slap of the gentle sea against the hull, and the occasional creak of timbers readjusting deep down in the hold. Everyone was below decks sleeping except for Rongar, who was manning the tiller and keeping the night watch. Two days journey away was her archenemy Rumina. Maeve was extremely nervous about the upcoming confrontation. She had not slept well for days. She had spent a good part of each night here in the bow, staring into the night, wondering if this time she would be strong enough to defeat Rumina. With her lack of sleep and her agitation over the upcoming battle with Rumina, her nerves were frayed and she was very edgy and her emotions were just under the surface.

Maeve was glad to be alone. She was especially glad Sinbad was not nearby. Scant hours before, he had come up behind her as he passed from one part of the ship to another, touched her by the arm and said, "How's it going, Maeve? " It was just his usual form of hello, but she had nearly turned to him then and thrown herself into his strong arms to be held and to unburden herself to him. They had been at sea for nearly two weeks now, and in the close confines of the Nomad, they were in each other's company almost constantly. It was only by sheer force of will that she had been able to restrain herself, and force a smile and nod. Her mind and heart had been as much in turmoil then as they were now. She was barely able to repress her strong feelings for him lately.

Now, as she looked off into the distance, her desire to be held and comforted by Sinbad was even greater. That was why she was glad he was not nearby. She could not allow herself to give in to her feelings. Her thoughts turned to her brother and instantly also to Rumina. She blamed herself totally for what had happened to him. It was her rivalry with Rumina that had caused the loss of her brother. She should never have tried to match her powers of magic with Rumina's. Rumina was far stronger. Her attempt to defeat Rumina had so angered the sorceress that she had cast a spell on her brother as a way of getting even. She had turned him into a hawk.

Tears of guilt began running down her cheeks as she remembered the day of tragedy. She should never have attempted to go up against Rumina until her powers had been much stronger. She had only been an apprentice then. She was still an apprentice now but her skills had improved greatly. Pride had been her downfall that awful day. She had overestimated her powers and severely underestimated her enemy. Rumina was a very powerful sorceress with a very malevolent mind. Rumina could have destroyed Maeve completely that day. Maeve often wished that Rumina had killed her outright. But instead, she had chosen to let her live and had transformed her brother into a hawk, knowing full well that because Maeve loved her brother more than anything else in the world that this would gnaw and gnaw at Maeve's psyche until it turned her into a raving lunatic. And part of the spell on her brother was that if Maeve ever revealed the truth about Dermott, her brother would die instantly.

What Rumina had not counted on was the strength of the twin bond between Maeve and Dermott. So strong was their bond that they were still able to communicate telepathically. They could see each other's thoughts.

Dermott had been asleep high in the rigging of the ship when suddenly a strong feeling of distress awoke him. He sensed immediately an immense sadness around him and knew that it came from Maeve. He spotted her on the deck and swooped down to the railing beside her. He looked up at her, but her eyes were closed. He saw the fresh tears still sliding down her cheeks. Her face was twisted with agony. He chirped to her and she opened her eyes.

Seeing her brother in his hawk's shape brought a new round of fresh tears. He concentrated his gaze on her eyes, penetrating far beyond them into Maeve's consciousness. Wordlessly he said, "If those tears are shed for me, dry them. I am always your brother, no matter my shape. I will always love you."

His thoughts calmed her almost instantly. She reached out and stroked his feathers. "How do you continue to love me after what I've done to you?" she murmured softly out loud. Dermott took two side steps and leaned against her arm. His closeness calmed her and she recovered from her feeling of hopelessness.

"I will never rest until you are free again," she whispered fiercely to his feathered head. This was a vow she often repeated.

It was this same vow that forced her to put a wall between herself and Sinbad. She had no time for entanglements or pleasure. She had a single-minded purpose that drove her relentlessly. She must defeat Rumina and break the powerful spell on her brother. She studied her magic whenever her duties aboard the Nomad allowed. But still, emotionally, she needed Sinbad's love and understanding, and walling herself off from it had taken its toll on her and she knew it.


******


Below decks, Sinbad tossed in his bunk. For the last few weeks he had been having trouble sleeping. Again tonight, he had awoken after just a few hours sleep. He had been having another of his nightmares. Every time, Maeve was in danger, and he was unable to help her. The scenes varied but the outcome was always the same. Some menacing creature or evil person would be about to do something dreadful to her and he would be just an instant too late to save her. He would always wake up just as the evil monster was about to devour her or the sword was about to plunge into her. It was very unsettling. He sat up in his bed. He got up and paced back and forth in his tiny room. He needed more space. He decided that he would feel better if he could just look in on Maeve and actually see that she was all right. Quietly, he opened his door and made his way through the darkened common quarters, where most of the crewmembers slept. He made his way aft slowly and quietly until he came to Maeve's cabin door. He had an overwhelming need to see her face to reassure himself that she was okay.

Striving to be as quiet as possible, he carefully lifted the latch on her door and inched it open. It was very dark inside. He could not make out Maeve's bunk. He opened the door further, very slowly. From the dim light of the candle burning in the common quarters, he could just see her bunk. But it did not look right. There was no shape in it. He swung the door fully open, no longer concerned about the quiet. Where was she? He strode over to her bunk and just to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him, he ran his hand down along the blanket. She wasn't there! And it looked as if she had not been there either. The bed covers were still in perfect shape.

Immediately he was alarmed. He strode out of her room. He wanted to find her, to assure himself that she was all right. He checked the galley. She was not there. He decided to check topside. Maybe she had gone up to keep Rongar company on his watch. He bounded up the stairs to the wheel. When he got there, he asked Rongar if he had seen Maeve. Rongar shook his head no, and abruptly Sinbad left him there wondering what was wrong. Sinbad turned and started to search the deck. He went around huge boxes of cargo tied down to the deck, and worked his way up the sloping deck toward the bow. He was glad of the bright moonlight. So intent was he on searching around the cargo stowed on the deck nearby, that when he looked up and spotted the whiteness of her blouse in the bow of the ship, he was surprised. He felt a wave of relief sweep over him. He stopped dead in his tracks and watched for a moment. Now he could make out whole outline of her body in the moonlight. As he admired the curves of her outline, he noticed that her head was down.

Slowly he approached her. She did not turn. He came up behind her, placed his hands on her shoulders as he leaned over and said, "Maeve, are you all right?"

Maeve had been deep, deep in thought, trying to connect with the spirit of DimDim, to seek his advice and counsel. Sinbad's sudden touch and his voice right in her ear startled her out of her trance. She turned her head suddenly, and in that instant her hair and cheek brushed against his face. He pulled on her left shoulder to turn her, but she was already turning around to face him. She looked up at his face, and in the brightness of the moonlight, saw the deep concern that was so apparent there. And in that instant, the floodgates of her emotions burst. Tears welled up in her eyes and started flowing out down her cheeks. She didn't want Sinbad to see her crying, so she bent her head down and whispered softly, "Hold me."

Sinbad slid his arms around her back and pulled her to him. He knew immediately that something was very wrong. This was very unusual behavior for her. Normally, Maeve would never initiate any type of physical contact with him. She had never asked to be held. In fact, Sinbad had noticed that she seemed to avoid even the slightest physical contact with him whenever possible.

She rested the side of her face against his chest, hoping to regain her self-control, but it was hopeless now. He slowly rubbed her back and rocked her back and forth, saying, "Maeve, Maeve, I was so worried about you. You weren't in your room, so I came looking for you. What's bothering you?"

Maeve tried to stop her tears, but couldn't. She was still trying to hide how distressed she was, but she sensed from the way he was holding her that he already knew she was very upset.

Sinbad moved his hands up to her shoulders and gently pushed her away from him in order to see her face, but she kept her head hung down and her hair partially hid her face. He brought a hand to her chin and gently lifted it until he could see her face. In the bright moonlight he could clearly see the tears and the deep sadness in her eyes. "What is it? Why are you crying?" he insisted. She desperately wanted to tell him, to lift the burden of her secret knowledge, to share her pain and be comforted, but Rumina's words echoed in her ears: 'If you ever speak a word of this curse, your brother will no longer exist.'

"It's nothing. I'll be okay," she lied.

He touched her the tears on her cheek with his thumbs as he said, "These are nothing? You can do better than that. What is bothering you?"

"I'm just a little worried about...Dermott."

"Dermott?"

"He doesn't seem like himself," she said. "He's not eating like he should." It was as close to telling him as she could manage.

"Is there anything I can do?" Sinbad asked.

"I don't think so. I'll mix up a few herbs for him. Maybe that will help."

"Are you sure that's all that's bothering you? You seem awfully upset for it just to be that. You know I'd do anything for you."

She nodded her head. She spread her hands out flat against his chest as she spoke. "Yes, I know. Thank you."

He pulled her back into his body. He wished he could do something to make her feel better. He brought his fingers up to her hair and stroked it. He bent down and kissed the top of her forehead and slid his head into hers, brought his mouth close to her ear and whispered, "I wish I could take your worries away."

She pulled her head back to tell him he had helped just by being there. Their faces were just inches apart. Their eyes met for an instant and then without warning he brought his lips to hers and kissed her, lightly at first and then harder as he felt her responding. It was the last thing that Maeve wanted to happen but it was happening and he was the man she loved. Her resolve was being swept away like a sandcastle in the onrushing tide.

But then, as suddenly as it started, the kiss ended. Sinbad withdrew his lips and started to speak. He could hardly believe what he had done and how Maeve had responded. Their "relationship" to this point had consisted of little more than looks and glances, an occasional touch or accidental brush. That was it. Each knew that the other cared deeply, but it was so unexpressed that sometimes he thought he was imagining it all. Now it was as if a locked door had been flung wide open. He was not prepared for the flood of feeling that he felt. He felt he had to say something. But before he could, Maeve put a finger to his lips, warning him not to speak.

This was a magic moment, one that she had dreamed about. She wanted to savor it without words. Her mood was completely altered. She allowed herself to imagine what being with him would be like. She turned to face the sea and leaned back against him. There was no point in trying to hide her feelings for him anymore. Now she just wanted to be held, to feel his arms around her.

Instinctively, Sinbad knew what she wanted. He slid his arms around her upper waist and held her lightly against him, his forearms making the slightest contact with her breasts. He lowered his head until it made contact with her hair. He breathed in the sweet scent of her hair, reveled in the warm softness of her body as she leaned against him. He wanted to spin her around and kiss her wildly but he knew that was not the thing to do here. He restrained himself and merely held her. He closed his eyes and imagined.

Maeve was a stunning beauty, he thought. In all the ports they had visited he had seen many beautiful women. Many of them had been attracted to him. There had been more than a few that had thrown themselves at him. A few he had found exciting and had spent the night with. But always, in his mind, above them all, was Maeve. There was no other like her. Over the months they had been together adventuring, he had memorized every aspect of her face, her expressions, the fluidity of her movement. The little questioning eyebrow lift she used, the way she ate her bread and drank her tea, all the nuances of her speech. He had memorized the idiosyncrasies of her movements and her body stances, like the way she liked to cock her hip to one side as she stood watch, or the way she was always brushing real or imagined loose strands of hair off her face. He had come to enjoy watching her as she brushed those stray tresses of hair off her face as she stood on deck in a strong breeze. No matter what else he was doing, if Maeve was around, he sensed where she was and what she was doing. He spent a lot of time watching her out of the corner of his eye. When the crew ate together, his eyes always came back to her. She was both sensual and mysterious. She was fiercely independent and very strong willed.

With her body against his like this and his hands around her he realized now how strong his attraction to her really was. Part of that attraction was that she never really acknowledged or encouraged his interest in her. She was always tantalizingly close, but seemingly unattainable. There had been lots of sparks between them. But not sparks of passion. Instead, they had often clashed over how to proceed in a dangerous situation or how to solve a problem. Somehow he had always enjoyed these verbal sparring matches with her. They were a substitute for the physical and emotional relationship that he craved from her.

As for how Maeve felt as she watched the moonlight dancing on the waves, she could feel the tension draining out of her body. A new feeling entered her consciousness :a feeling of belonging. She felt safe and protected for the first time. It was very much like the feeling a baby has being held in its mother's arms. She closed her eyes and just enjoyed the feeling. And there was also a new, physical feeling that she felt as well, one that made her tingle with quiet excitement.

After about fifteen minutes, during which neither of them spoke for fear of breaking the spell, Maeve slowly removed Sinbad's hands from her waist. Then she turned to face him, placed her hands on his chest and whispered, "I should go back to my cabin now. Thanks for... caring." Then she quickly kissed him gently on the cheek and before he could react, she was walking away. He watched her go. The moonlight caught her white blouse and made it shine brightly. All too soon, she disappeared behind some cargo boxes.

Sinbad stayed in the bow for a long time after she left, wondering about everything that had just happened. When he finally went back to his cabin, he fell asleep easily and had no more nightmares.


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Part 2