MAEVE

I watch her running, her long hair as red as mine floating around his face. God, I think to myself, she looks so much like him. For a brief moment, I close my eyes, trying to bring his image to my mind...

"Mommy, Mommy!" she says as she throws herself into my arms. I hold her tight, as if I was holding him... But she is too independant, she won't let herself but hugged long.

"Mommy?" she asks as she breaks free from my embrace. "Mommy, why don't I have a daddy?"

I look at her, stunned. This question has come too soon... She is not 4 yet. Not 4.... Has it been that long? I have lost track of time for quite a bit now. I have long stopped monitoring his every move, not wanting to suffer anymore. He has made a new life for himself now. A life without me. As I look down upon our child, I feel guilty not having told him. Dim-Dim wanted to tell him, but I asked him not to. The first year of my disapearance has been hard enough for him, I didn't want to make it harder. Deirdre was the last gift he ever gave me, the most precious one. And yet, he doesn't know. He doesn't know that on that night, that only night we have spent together....

"Mommy? Why are you so sad?" my daughter asks, afraid of seing tears roll down my cheeks.

I smile weakly, lost in my thoughts. It happened a few days before I fell overboard. I have been dreaming for this for a long time and there I was, in his arms. I didn't know then that this would be the only time. It has been everything I expected. He was the one for me and we made plans for a future together, sailing the seven seas as we raised a family. But the Fates have decided otherwise...