#21 - Boudreaux's Drunk Driving Incident
Mais watch out cher, dat Boudreaux he watch you!
One night, Boudreaux was driving his pick-em-up truck out of the parking lot of his favorite bar, all drunk like. Boudreaux was weaving down the road, and a state trooper pulls Boudreaux's truck over to the side of the road.
The trooper says, "C'mon outa dere, Boudreaux, an' walk on de yeller line . . . Woo Boudreaux! You smell like de inside of de beer barrel!"
Boudreaux says, "You gonna see jus' how drunk I am. Walk on de yeller line? I'm gonna do you one better den dat! Watch dis!" And with that, ol' Boudreaux, jumps up on the top of a picket fence on the side of the road. DIK - DIK - DIK, Boudreaux walks along the top of the picket fence, like he is some kind of circus performer.
The trooper says, "Dat's pretty good, Boudreaux. Reckon you can get down now, an' drive your old self home. Stop messin' around on dat fence!"
Boudreaux says, "Man, you ain't see nutting yet!" Here it is, late at night, and Boudreaux takes a right hand turn off the picket fence onto the top of a barb wire fence, out along this pasture. BOING - BOING - BOING, Boudreaux hops along the barb wire fence.
While Boudreaux was hopping down the barb wire fence, he looks in the pasture and sees a big black Brangus bull with long handlebar horns. Boudreaux, looks at the bull, the bull paws the ground like he is ready to go for Boudreaux. Boudreaux jumps off the barb wire fence into the pasture, grabs the bull by the horns, shouting "Give it to me!"
The bull, goes this way, and Boudreaux went that way, and finally the the bull, got the better of Boudreaux, and flung Boudreaux out to the edge of a sugar cane field.
Boudreaux comes out of the cane field, all cut up from the sugar cane. Boudreaux staggers over to the barb wire fence, hops up on it, BOING - BOING - BOING, he hops back along the top of the barb wire fence, then DIK - DIK - DIK, he walks back along the top of the picket fence, back to the trooper.
Boudreaux says, "Lock me up, mister Trooper, I'm too drunk to drive!"
"Mais, Boudreaux, I just saw you walk along de top of dat picket fence and hop along de top of dat barb wire fence! I don't tink I could do dat myself. You go on home, now, you ol' fool."
Boudreaux says, "Lock me up ennyway. Any night dis ol' Boudreaux is too drunk to steal a bicycle from a black boy, Boudreaux is too drunk to drive!"
