I didn't forget.
I wasn't ready, yet.
The pain was so deep.
Lacking sleep,
I knew I had to decide
whether to flee, whether to hide,
jump over the wall to the other side.
I had to decide
alone.
But, dearest friend,
there is no end
to the love I have for you.
I know what you tried to do.
I studied the words that flowed from you pen
over and over
and over, again.
You advised me not to jump into a frozen sea
to follow other people that may have influenced me.
Please, believe
no other voices dictated my choices.
No fantasy distracted me.
My choice was my possession.
A peaceful life; my obsession.
Long ago, I shared my pain with you.
Your counsel gave me strength,
but as I gasped for breath
to face this marriage death,
I knew, at any length,
soon I would seek to be
free.
Have faith in what you've read.
The marriage, now, is dead.
I lie in an empty bed,
just as I did, then.
Some things have changed.
My life has been rearranged
in ways, I'll not exchange.
My soul is peaceful, now.
I've learned to see how
much I can achieve.
I like the joy within me.
In that; you can believe.
Dear friend, I am growing older.
My convictions may be bolder,
but the ocean is no colder
now that I am free.
Peaceful warmth envelopes me.
A marriage cursed
is death rehearsed.
I had to leave,
but, please, believe
I love you still.
I always will.
I hope someday
your light will shine my way.

Copyright: Eleanora N. Gambino, May 4, 1985