Shadows
She walked up the drive and, coming to the front door, unlocked the grey steel door with her key. "Meow" greeted her upon entering the darkened living room. Calypso and Zeus rubbed up against her legs, trying to trip her.
Absentmindedly, she reached down to scratch the cats fur and said "ok ok, ill feed ya, did ya miss me?" She realized how foolish it was to talk out loud like that as her voice echoed through the room.
She filled the ice cube trays left laying out empty on the kitchen counter after putting down a can of food for the cats and filling the water bowl. She looked in the fridge for something to eat and found a diet pepsi. Popping the top on it she drank long and sweet and sighed, all the day's comedy and tragedy sitting in her cache memory.
Shaking the cobwebs out of her mind, she refused to listen to the voices in her mind. She wondered how many times she screwed up today. Hated thinking of how many times she left work feeling something important was left undone.
She flipped on the light in the bedroom and rummaged through the bureau looking for something to sleep in. She pulled out a floor length metallic floor length gown in golds and browns and black and grabbed a towel.
The silence of the house pounded in her head. Sigh.. kids at grandma's house. She hadnt gotten a phone call saying "hi mom wassup?" at work. She popped in a CD and the Backstreet Boyz pounded out a rhythm and she danced to the shower, thinking of how much the girls loved the CD. It almost made her smile.
She ran the water in the shower until the steam rose perfectly and prepared for her nightly scalding after coming in contact with a myriad of germs from work.
Careful not to let her work clothes touch anything but the laundry basket, she slipped out of her scrubs and stepped into the shower. Lathering up her hair with cocoanut shampoo, she allowed the stinging hot fingers of the shower to beat her skin without mercy. She shampooed twice and then used her puff to soap up her body, luxuriating in the soft feel and fragrance. Another sigh, this one of contentment as she visualized washing off the worries of the day, and the germs she has grown to despise.
Carefully rinsing out the puff, she reluctantly turned off the water and was hit by a cold draft. "Damnit! I thought i closed that door. Damn. Damn. Damn" she said aloud to herself. She always talked to herself it seemed.
She patted her skin dry and wrapped the towel around her head. She went to look in the mirror and realized she only saw a reflection of steam there. Reluctantly she pulled the bathroom door open so the fog would disapate and shivered as she pulled her gown on over her head.
A mist seemed to swirl through the door and she stood completely still. It encircled her legs and the air seemed completely dead. It was not fit to breathe and yet she did not feel a need to breathe. It spoke to her and yet did not speak at all.
The mirror was behind her and she felt intensely fearful. She forced herself to leave the room and looked for the phone. She ran from room to room turning on all the lights and both tvs. Normalcy reasserted itself.
She frantically searched for her amulet, the silver locket with the picture of her dad in it. She wore it day and night except for the showering ritual. She was usually too tired to feel how unprotected she really was when it was not around her neck. She found it hanging from the bathroom door and instinctively grabbed it and pulled it over her head. With a great sigh, she said "i love you daddy... you are always with me" and kissed the locket. She didnt look inside it very often. He was her secret. He was her protection from dark forces. He was still the light of her life.
She went into her library room and turned on the computer. "I need to talk to someone" she said to herself. She lit some pink and green candles and found her sandalwood scented incense and lit it. The smoke curled lazily around her, the scent was provokative and she inhaled deeply. The candles flickered gently in the room.
She turned down all the lights in the house and turned off the second tv. She felt calm and peaceful and her thoughts started to ramble over the day's events. She remembered how Mrs. Green had said "that man over there, i wish he'd quit looking at me" even though noone was there. She had gotten quite upset. Later on that day, she had said several times, "he is taking me with him, i'm ready to go." She had tried to reorient Mrs. Green to the hospital surroundings and free her of her delusional thinking. Just before she had gone off shift the woman had said "ok, i'm coming with you.. wait for me" and a few minutes later had stopped breathing. In the rush of the ensuing code, she hadn't had the time to reflect but after applying the toe tags to the patient and watching a family weep it was all she could think of.
"How to know what is real?" she mused. I told her it wasn't her time to die and yet she knew. She told me, in these words of hers, that she was ready to move on .. to die.
Suddenly she realized that something was not right. The candles jumped and spat, not gently flickering anymore. The room was filled with a thick haze that could not be attributed to the incense. The odor was cloying and hypnotic. She stared at the flame of the nearest candle and told it to be still. The candle's flame jumped up straight and tall and did not waver.
In the haze, she could distinguish the outline, the essence of a male form. He had a chilling look or perhaps her fear made it seem so. "Have you come for me?" she whispered. He reached his wavering, shimmering, ethereal arms towards her and she fainted from sheer terror.
She had visions and dreams that were quite vivid. Her clothes were torn from her and she was violated. She could feel the hands on her and the force within her being stilled by a power unlike she had ever known. She pushed back but was helpless in the face of this physical encounter. The mist enfolded her and swirled around her limbs. She opened her mouth to scream and the mist entered her lungs. She was seared by the intense heat and flames shot forth from her mouth!
She stared mutely at the candles flickering in the darkness and raised her eyebrows. The flames moved up with the movement. She looked off to the side and the flames bent sideways. The incense wafted lazily and reminded her of a beckoning finger. "Come this way or that way" she murmured in a soft gentle weary tone.
She felt a lassitude like none she had ever experienced. The mist rose up and became more human-like. The man, if man he be, stood up and laughed triumphantly. A groan escaped her lips and he growled and snarled at her. Her lips trembled and wavered. She was beyond redemption. She focused on the candles and bent the flames sideways, yet not long enough to do her bidding. He smiled at her and faded into the night. A stench assailed her nostrils and she retched.
She stared foggily at the candles and sobs wracked her mind, her body was a limp, lifeless stone on the floor. She focused again on the candles and forced the flames to rise high and carefully bent them sideways. Her mind, once fragile, now demented and with a single purpose.
The flames licked the antique-white curtains hanging like shrouds at the windows. The tongues of fire spread out quickly. She watched the candles on the shelf all light up at the same time and eat the books there as if they were mere tinder. The fiery kisses raced across the carpet, the smoke filled her nostrils and she was helpless to breathe. Her silk gown melted onto her skin and her soul cried in agony as she was torn assunder by the tentacles of light. She heard laughter ringing out all around her as she was consumed by the flames. Her mind, insane, giving full vent to the fears she could not face. And murdering the seed of evil planted within her.
As the roof exploded and rained down on her, her last vision was that of the Moonlight, staring a cold judgemental eye down upon her. In the bathroom, the mirror cracked and shards of glass flew like sharp bullets and eagle talons into the sky.
In the distance, the sirens wailed.
Sherry Gilles © October 26, 1998