Hi, my name is Wendy and I don't think any cooking site would be 
complete without some funny stories.  I have been collecting some
real kitchen bloopers from my friends and of course from my own
experiences, to share.

I hope that they will bring a smile to your face and if nothing else
remind you that we should never take ourselves too seriously, in the 
kitchen or anywhere.

We only have one shot at this wonderful thing we call life.  So live, 
love and above all, LAUGH!

Ms. "S" writes:

"I became an avid watcher of the TV Food Network recently. 
If fact, I was so taken with the new segment, 'Emeril Live', 
that it became a MUST SEE at 9:00 PM EST.  So anyway, I have
been battling a winter weight gain for the last 12  years (smile)
and have been on a very strict diet.  I had lost over 22 pounds since
just before the holidays and was so proud of myself.  To make a 
long story short, I got on the scales the other day and was horrified
to see that I had gained over 23 pounds, making me one pound heavier
than I had been when I began this diet.  My husband just grinned and said, 
'Well honey, I guess you will have to stop running to the 'fridge
every evening at 9:15.'  I asked him what he meant.  To my total 
embarassment, I realized that Emeril's show made me so HUNGRY, that
without thinking, I had been eating everything in the house that
didn't MOVE.  So now, though I am still a loyal Emeril fan, I 
take to the bedroom to watch and with me goes every kind of fresh
veggie I can lay my hands on! I thought other readers of your really neat
page might like this story!


(Thank you Ms. S.  I completely understand.  Those cooking shows
are wonderful, I think those of us who love them have all gaind a 
dress size along the way to the same conclusion YOU have drawn.
Happy Dieting!)



Mrs. "G" writes:

"When my daughter was about four, I was in a "down home" cooking
mood, so I went to the local farmers's market and bought loads
of fresh vegetables.  I decided for that evening's meal, we would
have fresh green beans cooked slowly with ham and potatoes, 
(a favorite of mine when I was a child and one I had not shared
with my own brood).

I was preparing the beans for cooking when my daughter came racing
in from playing out doors.  She and her friends headed straight 
for the cookie jar barely noticing what I was doing (or so I thought).

As I was dropping the beans into the boiling water, I heard my
daughter say to a playmate......."did you see THAT!?  Mommy gots
beans with the cans off!"

(thanks Mrs. G, that one made me smile)


Mrs. "L" writes:

I was having one of those hurried and impatient days all mothers have
from time to time.  I had been stuck in traffic, I had been in line
at the grocery behind people who thought the express line was for
people with 12 items or MORE, and I was running very late.

I decided that we would have saussage for supper fixed the way 
my grandma used to fix it.  She would simply simmer the saussage
in the casing for several hours in water in a skillet, then she
would prepare the most delicious gravy to go with it.  Fried 
potatoes would round out this nutritionally incorrect meal, but
we loved it.

Anyway, I was rushing around like a crazy woman while my two and 
a half year daughter did what they all do at that age....asked me
a million and a half questions with each answer I gave being met 
with "WHY?"

Her last question was met with a level of scarcasm that children
don't always understand, "what IS that mommy?" referring to the 
simmering saussage.  "IT'S a SNAKE, Betsey, now PLEASE go an PLAY!"
I responded in frustration.

About an hour later, there was a knock at the front door and our 
parish priest was standing there with a big smile. I greeted him
and asked him to come in for coffee.  He said that whatever was
cooking smelled very good and of course I offered him to share
our humble meal.

Before he could answer, my little one piped up. "You can have mine
Father Dan, she's cooking a snake and I ain't gonna eat no SNAKE!"


(thanks Mrs. L, that is precious, I LOVED it)


Ok I admit it, this one is MY BEST blooper!

When I as a newly wed, I was at a party just a week before
Easter.  Some of the ladies were talking about eggs and one
said that at a small farm just outside of town you could
get three dozen eggs for a dollar.  She went on to say that
though they were not always white in color, they were great
for baking!

I thought to myself, "What a great idea! Bake them and save
yourself all that time boiling water etc".

Needless to say, later that week, I went to the farm, bought
the eggs, brought them home, pre-heated my oven and placed
all 36 eggs on a cookie sheet. I popped them into the oven
at about 350 degrees then went about my business.  

Later, I could smell something terrible and could hear a
strange popping noise.  YEP YOU GUESSED IT!!

What did I learn from that?  Continuous cleaning ovens
are impossible to clean!  (and of course, the rest of my
lesson was a no-brainer!)

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