Title : Little Johnny again

Contributed by : Ivan Choong

Ratings :


Pass or Fail
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Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so well during the year that the teacher suggested to the principal that they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed.

The principal agreed so they called Johnny into the office, explained, then the teacher asked, "Johnny what does a cow have four of, that I only have two of?"

Johnny replied, "Legs."

The teacher asked, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I don't have in my pants?"

Johnny replied, "Pockets."

The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?"

Johnny replied. "Rome."

The teacher turned to the principal and asked, "Should we pass him?"

The principal replied, "Better not ask me, I got the first two wrong!"

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Sex
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Little Johnny was a curious little guy and was always asking questions.

One day,when his aunt was visiting, he went into his typical interrogation.

Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, how old are you?
Auntie: Well Johnny, that's not a question that you ask a lady.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, how much do you weigh?
Auntie: Johnny! That's not a question you ask a lady.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, why don't you and your boyfriend sleep in the same bed?
Auntie: Johnny, stop this! That's not a question you ask a lady!

Johnny went off to play but the next day he was talking to his aunt again.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, I know how old you are.
You're 32 years old. Auntie: Johnny! How do you know that?
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, I know how much you weigh. You're 135 pounds.
Auntie: Johnny! How do you know that?
Johnny: And Auntie, Auntie, Auntie. I know why you don't sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend.
Auntie: Johnny! Stop this! How do you know all this?
Johnny: Well, I found your driver's license last night.
Here it says that you're 32 years old and here it says that you weigh 135 pounds. And right down here it explains why you don't sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend.
Auntie: Where does it say that?
Johnny: Right here. It says you got an "F" in Sex.

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Not Another Word
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Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had been out of town all week and said, "Mommy, guess what?
Yesterday, I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady from next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and then Daddy got on top of her and -"

The mother held up her hand and said, "Not another word! Wait until your father gets home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you've just told me."

The father comes home and the wife tells him that she's leaving him."But why?" croaks the husband. "Go ahead, Johnny, tell Daddy just what you told me." "Well," said little Johnny, "I was playing in your closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and Daddy got on top of her and they did just what you did, Mommy, with Uncle Bob...

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Heaven
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Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first.

One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."

The teacher praises the little girl as a little boy raises his hand. He says, "I think your heart goes to heaven first because God is all about love."

"Very good," said the teacher. The teacher looked up and saw Little Johnny's hand up. "Oh no," she thought, "I'm not gonna like this.

Little Johnny, which part of the body do you think goes to heaven first?"

Little Johnny thinks for a minute and says, "Your feet."

The teacher asked him why he thought your feet go to heaven first.

He replied, "Well, I was walking past my parents' bedroom last night and my mom had her feet up in the air and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!'"


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