Title : Sonna-wa-beach

Contributed by : Xiqiang

Ratings :


A young Italian had stayed at the YMCA hotel in London. He wasn't satisfied with his stay, and sent this complaint to the manager:

Dear Signore Direttore,
Now I am telling you story how I was treated at your hotella. I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London and stay as a young christian man at your hotella. When I comma to my room I see there is no sheet on my bed. So I calla down to receptione and tella:
- I wanta sheet.
They tella me:
- You go to toilet.
- No, no you don't understanda me. I wanta sheet in my bed!
- You better not shit in your bed, you son of a bitch!
What is sonna-wa-beach?
I ago downe for breakfast in ristorante. I order egg and bacon and two pieces of toast. I getta only one piece of toast. I tella waitress and point at toast:
- I wanta piece!
She tella me:
- You go to the toilet.
- No, no I wanta piece on my plate!
- You bloody well not piss on the plate! You go to the toilet!
Why is your staff always saying "Go to toilet?" Is that a modern British tella? You know, I am 23 years old and I know for myself when I wanta go to toilet. Then in the evening I ago downe to ristorante for dinner. Spoon and knife is laid out on the table. But no fork. I tella waitress:
- I wanta fork!
And she tella me:
- Sure, everybody wanta fuck.
- No,no you don't understand me. I wanta fork on the table.
- So you want to fuck on this table? Get your ass out of here!
How comma this christian hotella tella the guests in such a bad manner? So I go down to receptione and ask for bill. I no wanta stay in this hotella no morro. When I have a-paid the a- billa the portier say to me:
- Thank you, and peace on you.
I say:
- Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-beach, I now go back to Italy.
Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no morro, you sonna-wa-beach.

Sincerely,
Luigi Brampiano, Roma


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