~*~

*snorts* Jess came into my room a coupla days ago and the first thing she said was "woah, what a mess", and I'm like "I just CLEANED it!".

~*~

It did it again. I typed up a nice long entry and meticulously listened to a song I was recording lyrics from, writing down what was being sung.

And then Internet Explorer interpreted the backspace key as 'back', so the browser moved back again and thus when I returned to this 'write in my diary' page, you had deleted everything I was writing.

Again.

How... very... amusing.

I'm calm.

...

*goes off to break furniture*

~*~

"I'm walking on sunshine..."

Or more literally, walking in sunshine... geez it's hot. *sings* We're havin' a heat waaaaaaaaave, a tropical heat waaaaaaave...

Well, I don't know about tropical but it is pretty hideous, I can attest to that. Yesterday it reached 43.3 degrees. 43 degrees!

I feel like calling up all those people who rave on about loving summer, and yelling down the receiver "WHAT DO YOU THINK NOW?!!!".

^^;

I'm just constantly tired with this persisting headachey thing. And no energy. I guess it's good to have holidays in summer for that reason, 'cos you don't have to do anything... December is nice, but this is too much.

Anyway, basically I feel gross and I'd like to move to, oh, Greenland, for about three weeks. This'll pass, this'll pass, this'll pass... hibernation sounds good.

Still on iMac. A little hayfevery; constantly clawing at face, scratching nose and eyes in wild frenzy. Permanent squint. Brain atrophication well underway. Maybe now would be a good time to get that Chem out.

This was *such* a nothing week. ^_^;

~*~

Highlight of my weekend: going to watch a movie at a friend's house. I am the original party animal.

~*~

My darling cat Tabby was sick, that's very bad. I love my cats. She was gagging and choking and she threw up a couple of times. (Hahah - she threw up on my sister's pants that she had only bought that day - and my sister ended up returning them, after cleaning them of course. Poor person who buys them next...)

~*~

Hahah, I just read this on a message board:

"If I were an anime character, I would be..."

"Hmm....I guess I would probably be one of the random nameless doctors who wears labcoats and survives for about thrity seconds on camera before getting mowed down by a giant mecha like a field mouse under a rotary mower."

~*~

Maybe flying wouldn't be quite as cool as everyone thinks. I've always really wanted to fly, but this week I had a dream where I was flying and I realised that ALL my dreams about flying over the last few years have had similar elements.

What they had in common was someone trying to catch me, somehow, and I had to fly away from them but when they were in pursuit that was when it was hardest to go fast. Nail-biting tension. ^_^. Like, if there was no pressure, I could soar all over the sky, but when someone was chasing me, I would always be sluggish, struggling and desperately trying to speed up. Often I'd *almost* be caught. In this week's dream I *was* caught but I managed to get away again.

(The 'plot' of this dream was that I was a fairy of some sort - half my usual height, with pink skin and butterfly wings. Some scientist was trying to catch me so he could study me. I hadn't meant for him to know I existed but I was pushing my luck, being daring - like, soaring up right over his head - and he saw me and set about chasing me.)

It was interesting, being a fairy. I used a part of my brain that I don't use in day-to-day life. I mean, when the pressure was on I had to concentrate really hard and kind of *force* my brain into a certain mode, which made my body respond in a way that it couldn't have done if I were a normal human.

It's not an altogether pleasant sensation though; it was borne of desperation and took effort. The feeling tingled through my body as I tensed my chest and there was a tingling feeling in my head. But accessing this part of my brain, accessing this power, gave me more than the ability to fly faster/higher, etc. I knew that with that part of my brain, I could do anything, really, if only I worked at it hard enough. At one stage I actually kind of disappeared in a shower of pink sparkles, and reappeared in the air several feet above the scientist's head - again, borne of desperation. It was kind of a cross between leaping and teleporting.

~*~

Apathetic is just one letter off of 'pathetic'. ^_^.

~*~

I'm sick of getting colds. (Oh, haha, I made a pun.) I got this one and Dad said "don't tell me you've got a cold AGAIN!". He said that last time, too... it's almost on a weekly basis nowadays. On the bright side, if I have a cold, it means I don't have hayfever... both are very annoying, but at least with colds you can stay home and suffer by yourself, without having to annoy everyone by sniffing all through a maths test.

(Heehee, if anyone asks why you're sniffling all the time, you can say that this maths test would drive anyone to tears.)

Maybe something's wrong with me. Maybe I have some fatal illness.

~*~

Another friend of mine was talking about something and mentioned insulting someone else. I automatically said "that's not very nice", and he said, "well, that's life". Interesting comment...

~*~

Even if people are basically good deep down, on the surface a lot of them are certainly jerks, aren't they!

~*~

The guy I mentioned before, Shade? Some people think I have a crush on him, 'cos when he was sick and his brother was getting off the bus, I called "say hi to Shade for me".

Well, what's a crush then? I feel happy when I see him, and I like talking to him. I'm going to the formal/prom with him. But it stops there, really. I don't want to go out with, I don't want to kiss him (or go further)... the thought is creepy, actually.

But it seems people can't believe in platonic friendships.

Anyway, he might be getting a girlf? I'm happy for him on that point, so I'm sure I don't have a crush.

~*~

I wonder if I'm the only one who hates analogies?

It's school holidays at last but I've spent the last three days at "cram" seminars that take more time than school... so it's not much of a relaxation. Anyway, I'm cramming biology and chemistry, just for the sake of clarifying some concepts and revising others.

What is it about science that leads teachers to make up these awful analogies? They rarely help. Can't they just say things straightfowardly?

"The collision theory is a lot like a nightclub."

"The circulatory system can be likened to a set of pipes."

"The cell membrane is like the walls of your house. It lets in people, pets and groceries, and lets waste and garbage come out!"

"Proteins in the cell membrane are like bouncers."

That nightclub analogy was the worst though. Saying how you "collide" with people all through the night, with eye contact or verbal contact or bumping into them. And how the more people there are, the more likely you are to get a "fruitful collision" (ie sex).

This busker said something kinda funny today. Is busker the right word? He wasn't singing or playing an instrument, he was a showman, riding a unicycle and juggling and that sort of thing. He went into this long spiel about how he has to pay the rent.

"If you give me $5, I'll go home happy. If you give $10, I'll go home VERY happy. If you give me $100, I'll go home with you!"

There were all these little kids watching, all these disapproving adults... ^^

~*~

Is it just me, or is having a cat that drinks out of the toilet JUST PLAIN WRONG?!

~*~

Speaking of stupid pets, I don't think it's normal to find a DOG on your ROOF.

~*~

Today I scratched my sister's car. This is sure to go down well. Hopefully nobody will notice.... the way I did it was so stupid, too. I was driving out of a car park and trying to impress this cute guy with my driving skills (wow, I sound like an airhead ^_^) but drove half the car ONTO THE CURB while getting out.

~*~

I loathe computers. More specifically, I loathe MY computer. I loathe it when I start tying up a nice entry and it CRASHES. My computer is the most screwed-up thing there is. From the way it crashes constantly to the way it reverses settings every time I restart. From the way it converted my favourite mp3 to a meaningless screech, to the way it insisted I had AIM installed when I most certainly had no trace of it on my hard drive.

~*~

I just found out today that a friend of mine probably has a crush on me. That seems so weird. It's been a while since anyone liked me (that I know of)... well, a year. It's good though. The last few weeks have been like... people are putting bricks back into my wall... I knocked pieces out of myself by encouraging my low self-esteem, but people, through their nice comments, are piecing that back together.

I'm feeling less self-conscious, I think.

~*~

Whenever I go into a room and see one of my cats there I just go "awwww" (either mentally or aloud) and am overcome by how intrinsically perfect they are, how cute, how gorgeous. I just want to dive on them and hug them, although I don't usually - it unnerves cats to be divebombed. ^_^ I still feel like that and we've had our cats for over 10 years.

But I was thinking... when I'm married, I want it to be like that. Not so patronising as that, maybe, but I do want to be able to see him and feel happy, think how cool he is, how loveable. To not live in a loveless marriage, to be able to enjoy seeing him, to never lose the sense of happy wonder - how lucky I am to be with this person.

~*~

Not a driving day goes past when I don't pause with absolute wonder and relief that no cops have picked me up.

I'm exaggerating perhaps a little... it's not that I'm constantly doing stupid things. It's just that I'm constantly ALMOST doing stupid things. Like when I was concentrating so casually on the road itself that I wasn't concentrating on where I was, and suddenly realised I was heading towards the uni instead of further down the road. I hit the indicator and swerved out OVER the road markers... half a second more and I wouldn't have made it. Not to mention there was a car in the lane next to me where I was trying to go. That's a close shave.

And another time, Shade had commented that he wanted to see me driving. So I was cruising down the street with Love Shack absolutely blaring out the radio (I love that song so much) and completely not realising that I was doing 60 in a 25 zone.

The next day, I wanted to make a better impression, so I waved to him as I drove off at an appropriate speed - and while I was distracted I almost ploughed into the back of a parked car. I'd say I missed it by about a centimetre, it was quite scary actually. Screeching of brakes and abrupt stop to avoid a horrible wreck - and right in front of the school, where dozens of people were. Very slick, Leto.

My parents are blissfully unaware of my near misses. I intend to keep it that way. I'm quite lucky to have evaded accidents thus far.

Back to miscellaneous writings page