They are therefore used for night vision... at night. That was a very smart comment, wasn't it. -Psych lecturer

I guess it's just a personal taste thing, and it turns out that your taste is not very good. -Programming lecturer

Oh, by the way, I have a throat infection. Shoulda told you that before I hugged you, huh! -Sunny

I can understand every word I say and you can't, so sucked in! -Choc

They thought that 'cos I (rang her) as soon as I got back, it meant something. It did. It meant I valued my life. -Peter

Vermin. I'd like to run over it with a car. -John (watching footage of cute possums)

The Australians just weren’t trying! I could do better than that myself!... if I could swim. -John (watching Olympic swimming)

Take what you’ve got and do what you can. -Daniel

The oldest rocks on Earth are here.... on Earth. -Mrs Flint

Hello, strange and demented person! -Malloy

Marriage is just a way of dying. -Rhys

If you can't say something nice, say it under your breath. -Simon

This pain feels good. -Katrina

Hello. I'm an igloo. Grrrrrrr. -Maria

Who needs to socialise when you've got chemistry! -Jim (meaning the kind you learn in school)

This glue tastes funny. -Crystal

There's a lesson in that, Jem. Next time you think about saying something - don't. -Mr Peters

She's a lovely woman... if you're hard of hearing. -Mr Peters

No teacher's pets in here. You're all ENEMIES. -Mr Marcus

Don't argue with a woman... -Mr Simington

Quick! Michael's left the room! Everybody HIDE! -Mr Peters

No, you can't borrow a tissue. Keep it. I don't want it back! -Dave

Well, motorcyclists rarely trouble themselves with such trifling matters as what's legal. -Chris

Make a list of who gave you what for Christmas so that next year you don’t give the gift you got from them back to them. -Sunny

How do you change the shape of a force? Um... with food? -Crystal

Give me the steering wheel! You'll kill us! -Sunny (in dodgem car)

I don't hate her. I just dislike her. A lot. -Miranda

Prefects should be trained in armed combat. -Dave

We're silently screaming our heads off. -Crystal

Hey, now that it's the holidays, I'll probably e-mail you twice as much as I do now! Let me see now... 2 times 0 equals...? -Charlie

And now, for our first spiritual input into the assembly... CHUBBY BUNNY! -Sam

It’s like a slapstick comedy, but without the comedy. -me

Jake: There was an earthquake in my house the other day.
*long, blank pause*
Me: Yeah, it's called 'cleaning your room'.
Charlie: We were all waiting for someone to say something like that.

Mr Simington: You have a habitat...
Crys: Yeah, my cat owns it...

Mr Simington: There are the things an organism needs to survive...
Crys: Wrestling...

Mr Peters: Or his website...
Crys: boringman.com.au...

Mark: You can't catch it! You're an umpire!
Jim: Only part time!

Sunny: I'm not talking to Chas!
Me: No, you're just sitting there with him draped all over you...
Sunny: Yes, but I'm definitely not talking to him!

Me: So, what's your blood type?
Kate: My blood type? Red!

Boy: I want the biggest piece! I want the biggest piece!
Mother: It's not polite to ask for the biggest piece.
Boy: How do I get it, then?

Interviewer: So, what made you want to come and work here?
Person: I live around the corner!

Jake: What? There's no sound coming out of the amp!
Nick: Then turn it on.
Jake: (turns it on) ... Oh.

Mary: You bought chocolate! You read my mind!
Me: Your mind is not hard to read.

Ad: (Brandpower) is full of bone-strengthening calcium!
Mary: What, as opposed to non-bone-strengthening calcium?

Mrs Pitts: Well? How long was it?
Trent: It was so boring, my watch fell asleep.

Tam: Good morning.
Jay: How observant.

Jim: Which one of these is the hydrochloric acid?
Matthew: Taste test.

Jim: Maths 2 is the smart maths.
Crystal: Yeah, that's for the people who are going to be rocket scientists, and chemical engineers, and dole bludgers.

Dave: You still missed the goal!
Jim: What goal?
Dave: Dezza's head!

Mr Marcus: You're supposed to write what you feel your best qualities are.
Jay: Yeah, I've attached two extra pages.

Crys: I heard they dump dead bodies in there.
Mr Marcus: Yes, that's where I dump all of mine.

Rhys: Anything we should know about the test?
Mr Simington: Yeah, don't bother.

Mr Marcus (defending his choice of activity for the class): Some people get more passionate about playing silly games than others.
Jim: Yeah, retards.

Mrs Stanton: I didn't ask you, Mark!
Mark: You didn't have to. I answered you anyway.

Mrs Keen: Okay, now how do you mark the ball?
Me: Not very well.

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