THE CLASSIC STEREOTYPICAL ASIAN GUY GROUP... 

A.  the asian gangster guy

B.  the asian show off

C.  the asian squatter

D.  the asian basketball player 

E.  the asian white guy

F.  the asian clubber

A.THE ASIAN GANGSTER GUY

1.  Usually seen at the local billiards hall, at the local video 
arcade, at the bowling alley, at the college recreation room 
(ditching class), and the at Karaoke bar.

2.  Usually wears ultimately insanely huge baggy pants, Nike visor 
 (upside down), Nike warm-up jacket.  Pager/beeper/cellular 
phone (it has to be exposed so everyone can see it!).  Also, he 
wears to many designer clothes just for their labels (Hilfiger,
Nautica, CK, Ralph Lauren, and JNCO).  Wears accessories: 
earrings and a ho.

3. A great Street Fighter and Tekken player.

4.No matter who's around (parents, aunts, uncles, cousins,
teachers) he always has to act hard and tough.  Gives that bad 
impression to everyone!

5.  Very good at the art of the home-invasion robbery. 

6.  Has extremely extra long bangs covering his eyes.

7.  Always tries to look hard, but in actually he looks asleep. 

8.  An avid smoker, always holds his cigarette between his index 
andmiddle finger.

9.  Doesn't know how to smoke only does for the tough image. 

10.  Only fights if he has ten guys backing him up.

11.  Usually drives a slammed Honda Civic or Acura Integra or
Mitsubishi Eclipse, which he tries to squeeze 10 people inside. 

12.  Has stickers on every inch of their car.

13.  Drives fast too impress his friends or his chick.  Of course, he
is a racer... fixing up his car for "racing."

14.  Calls other asians "nigga" and is dying of the ebonic plague. 

15.  Too much talk and not enough action!

16.  Girls hang with him because of his "big" reputation plus he's 
got other guys hanging around him.  Guys hang with him because 
they think that he can protect him by bringing backup whenever 
anything happens and they want him to hook them up with pagers, 
phones, and girls.

B.THE ASIAN SHOW-OFF

1.  Usually seen at the local billiards hall, at the bowling alley, 
at the church youth groups, at the college recreation room
 (trying to pick up on girls!) and at the casino (trying to act 
like a high roller).

2.  Usually wears tucked-in dress shirt with loose-fit khakis. 
Holster for his cell phone.

3.  Always showing off his cell phone, constantly talks into it... 
sometimes fakes that he talking into it so he can impress the 
girls.

4.  Every one of these guys have circular glasses! 

5.  Another avid smoker, like a chimney!

6.  Usually drives a Mazda RX-7 or a Toyota Supra.

7.  Thinks he can drive fast, but actually drives like an old 
Chinese woman, on a cellular phone.

8.  Always says that he's peaceful and he claims Asian pride, but 
he has gangster tendencies when there is a threat to his popularity
or when a guy moves in on his girl.

9.  Tries to be a high roller... thinks he's an awesome gambler. 

10. Always wears designer clothes, never wears shorts... even if 
it's 100 degrees outside.

11.  Has too much Dragon Ball crap in his web-site.

12.  Girls hang with him so he can spend money on them or they just 
want to be seen in his car.  Guys hang with him because they also want
him to spend money on them and they want to steal valuables in his house!


C.THE ASIAN SQUATTER

1.  Usually seen at the local billiards hall, at the bowling alley, 
at the college recreation room (playing billiards, of course), 
in the front of every asian restaurant (squatting, of course) 

2.  Usually wears clothes that try to look baggy... but never can 
quite get the look of the gangster.  Then ends up wearing long 
shorts.  Always wears slippers.

3.  Usually a new immigrant to the states (aka FOB). 

4.  Always smokes while squatting.

5.  Always speaks native language while making fun of people who 
do not speak his language (i.e. Americans and Asian-Americans).

6.  The master of the home invasion robbery.  Yet when he pulls a 
robbery, he always brags about it or shows off his fortune, which ends
up getting him busted.

7.  A compulsive gambler, will gamble any game and gamble anything 
he owns.

8.  Cannot live without cheating... he is dishonest.  Cheats at 
every test.  When he cheats, everyone knows it and he brags 
about it.

9.  Always lying, saying B.S. stories about the fights he won, the 
money he won and the houses he robs, which usually gets him
busted... again.

10.  Girls only talk to him when they want to cheat on a test
otherwise they detest him.  Guys hang with him because they 
want to hire him for a robbery or that he's crazy enough to do 
whatever they say!

D.THE ASIAN BASKETBALL PLAYER

1.  Usually seen at the local billiards hall, at the basketball 
court and at the gym.

2.  Usually wears Nike or Addidas shoes.  Nike tank top and North 
Carolina basketball shorts.  Also, Nike warm-ups with one pant 
leg up.

3.  Also known as the "baller."

4.  Has the most expensive Nike shoes on earth. 

5.  Does too many headfakes and pumpfakes.

6.  His girlfriend is always watching him play, she is usually
sitting on the bench or in the stands, staring at other guys. 

7.  Always wears those Nike muscles shirts, you know the 
sleeveless ones... yet they're so skinny, they look so stupid in them.

8.  Of course he wears the Nike visor, upside-down though.

9.  Tries to hustle other basketball players, but ends up losing all
his money. because he can't play for squat!

10.  Tries to ball, but ends up fouling everyone and bitching about 
feeling fouled.

11.  Girls can care less about him.  Guys use him for hook-ups for 
shoes and clothes.


E.THE ASIAN WHITE GUY

1.  Usually seen at a bar with his white guy buddies, drinking 
copious amounts of beer and listening to hard rock.

2.  Usually wears plaid shirts, concert T-shirt (NIN or Van Halen, 
usually), non-baggy jeans, and construction boots.

3.  Usually drinks to much, to cope with his "problems."

4.  Makes way too big a deal about his ethnicity (calls himself 
"chink" all the time).

5.  Lusts after blonde chicks who wouldn't give him the time of 
day.

6.  Always complains about Asian white girls who go out with white 
guys (SOS - Sell Out Sisters) and stares daggers at 'em.

7.  Glares at Fobbie types because they "ruin his image."

8.  Purposely does badly in school to dispel the stereotype.

9.  Gets drunk on the fumes of Vodka, Everclear or Wild Turkey. 

10.  Usually vomitting around last call because of the lack of 
digestive enzymes.

11.  Girls are intimidated by his bitterness.  Guys only hang out 
with him because he gets drunk and buys people extra rounds. 

F.THE CLUBBER

1.  Usually seen at the local billiards hall, bars, and dance 
clubs.

2.  Usually wears tight hard-body shirts made of shiny polyester 
which can be seen at night from a hundred miles away.  Won't
wear anything bigger than a medium (prevents others from seeing 
his physique).  Pants are a bit baggy.

3.  Spends all his money at shops like Gadzooks or Merry Go Round, 
or any place that sells "club wear."

4.  Spend all his time working out at the gym.

5.  Goes to clubs Thursday night through Saturday.

6.  Has no girlfriend per se, but has many female friends.

7.  Not a trouble-maker, but always looks for action at the clubs. 

8.  Drives a tricked-out car, but prefers a domestic just to be
different.

9.  Five minutes after entering the club, myppppppsteriously 
always end up in the middle of a circle and all other dancing around comes 
to a screeching halt.

10.  Gets along with everyone, has no attributes for others to
dislike him, this way no one will kick his ass and mess up his 
pretty boy face.

11.  Girls hang out with him because he can bench at least 225 and 
has 16-inch arms.  Guys hang out with him hoping that they can 
get hooked up with the girls that follow him around.

THE CLASSIC STEREOTYPICAL ASIAN GIRL GROUP 

A.  the gangster asian girln

B.  the over-dressed asian girl 

C.  the asian schoolgirl

D.  the asian, white-girl


A.THE GANGSTER ASIAN GIRL

1.  Usually seen at the mall and at the poolhall, usually giving 
dirty looks at other asian girls.  Inside a crowded Civic with 
other gangster girls and anywhere the gangster asian is.

2.  Usually wearing tight shirts, spaghetti strap blouses, or 
baggy jeans.

3.  Loves to wear black lipstick and 10-inch heels.

4.  When wearing baggy blue jeans, she will wear a Nike warm-up 
jacket.

5.  Another Pochaco, Keroppi, Sanrio nut.

6.  Of course, she has dyed-blond hair and REALLY black roots! 

7.  Believes she's a Sailor-Scout of Sailor Moon.

8.  A tenth degree black-belt in the art of backstab. 

9.  Talks big, but no action.

10.  Is extremely good at talking behind backs, only will talk shit 
about you when you're beyond a 20-mile radius.

11.  Has a protruding mouth, like a monkey.

12.  Whenever she wants to look attractive and goes over the edge 
by wearing skirts up to her stomach.

13.  Girls hang with her because she will fight for them.  Guys 
hang with her because they want to get her in bed and she'll fight 
for them.

B.THE OVER-DRESSED ASIAN GIRL

1.  Usually seen at the mall, at the poolhall , at the casino (not 
gambling but sitting next to boyfriend, staring at his money 
and his chips), at the youth group meetings (usually the leader), 
at the Karaoke bar and inside boyfriend's expensive car.

2.  Usually wears tight skirts, bellbottom pants (the ones in 
which they cannot see their feet), high heels or 10-inch platforms
 (which they have no idea how to walk on, they always look 
off-balance while walking).

3.  She must wear her skanky outfits everywhere they go.

4.  You can hear the cloggin' of her platform heels from a mile 
away.

5.  Always showing off her cell phone... always pretending she's 
talking to her rich boyfriend!

6.  Of course, she has dyed-blond hair.

7.  Another Pochaco, Keroppi, Sanrio freak.

8.  Another tenth-degree black belt in the art of backstab. 

9.  Plucks her eyebrows, and her eyebrows are just one line!

10.  She is the ultimate snob... mastered the art of walking with 
her nose up.

11.  Believes she is "all that..." and enjoys ignoring other guys. 

12.  Never smiles, because she has ugly-ass teeth.  What a grill!! 

13.  Has a new pair of shoes every week.

14.  Girls hang with her because she makes them look good and they 
like to borrow clothes from her.  Guys hang with because they 
want to get her in bed and use her as their car accessory.

C.THE ASIAN SCHOOLGIRL

1.  Usually seen in the study hall or under house-arrest by her 
parents.

2.  Usually wears thick eye-glasses, long sundresses, 
pennyloafers, or sandals.

3.  Are completely male-phobic.

4.  Sometimes shy, but really anti-social.

5.  Another Sanrio, Keroppi, Pochaco nut... but she talks to her 
dolls because she has no social life.

6.  When approached by a male, she always says, "I con't tok to 
youu rite naow!"

7.  Has no social skills whatsoever.

8.  Is the master cheat sheet on all tests. 

9.  Talks too loud in her native language.

10.  Girls hang with her so they can cheat off her for tests and she 
has a nice car.  Guys hang with because they also like to cheat 
off her on tests and they think they can get a date with her. 


D.THE ASIAN WHITE GIRL

1.  Usually seen at the beach playing volleyball, with her 
non-asian friends at Disneyland, or in her white boyfriend's BMW. 

2.  Usually wears volleyball shorts, Mickey Mouse, college or 
sorority sweatshirt.

3.  Does not know one word of her native language.

4.  Always lies that she's half asian or a mut... always says she 
part Irish or German.

5.  Has infused into her mind that she is not asian or just 
part-asian.

6.  Does not want anything to do with anything asian (guys, girls, 
customs).

7.  She must date a white person, no matter their background. 

8.  Loves the fact that she is different and loves to show off 
about it.

9.  Girls hate her because she does not like hanging with them. 

10.  Guys think they can get a date from her, but they learn soon to 
stay away from her.