CATHOUSE WHIZZER
     Tune:  "Pinball Wizard"
     By:  The Who

Ever since I was a young man
I've laid the Ladies all!
From L.A. down to Texas,
I must have made them all!
But I ain't seen nothing like him in any whorehouse ya'll!
That damned Immie Fitzcairn
He sure does like to ball!

He picks his partner out
Oh, the girls all wait in line
Smiliong at the Ladies
Always gives a sign
he woo's by intuition
Their hearts and bodies fall
That damned Immie Fitzcairn
he sure does like to ball!

He's a Cathouse Whizzer
he's always got his pick
A cathouse Whizzer
S'got such a supple d***!!

How do you think he does it?
I don't know!
What makes him so good?

Ain't got no inhibitions
He don't hear those moans that knell
He can't see those pheromes now
F***'s by sense of smell!

Always gets a rematch
Never tires a'tall!
That damned Immie Fitzcairn
He sure does like to ball!

I thought I was 
The bordello F***ing King!
But I just handed my cathouse Crown to him!

Even at my usual cathouse
He can beat my best!
Oh, his friends all cheer him on!
And he just does the rest!
He's got wickee tongue and fingers
For which the Ladies call:
That damned Immie Fitzcairn
he sure does like to ball!

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