SONG FOR THE HORSEMEN
         OR
The ROG's Advice
     Tune:  "Supercalifragilisitic, etc!!"

Pillage, rape and loot then burn
But all in moderation!
If you do the things I plan
Then we;ll soon rule the nations!
Pillage, rape and loot then burn
But all in moderation!!

Pillage, rape, and loot then burn
But all in moderation
Kill your foes and enemies
And then kill their relations!
Pillage, rape and loot then bur
But all in moderation!!


WHY THE HORSEMEN BROKE UP 

                 Sung to the tune "The One On The Left" by Johnny Cash 

          by DANNELL LITES, FEARLESS LEADER of the Clan MacParody!! 

 

There once was a vicious troupe, a rapin' pillagin' fun group

Oh, they raided and the folks died of their fear

They were long on pillagin' ability, folks feared them near and far

But political incompatibility lead to their downfall!

 

CHORUS

Well the one on the right he's a cannibal 

Oh, the one in the middle is Kronos

Oh and the one on the left is post dumb 

And the guy in the rear's a pacifist!

 

This so deadly aggregation soured the entire nation

Killing all the Villagers, hey, just the ones that got in their way

They slaughtered with great virtuosity but soon they were afraid

Soon political animosity prevailed - they were enraged!

 

CHORUS

Well, the one on the right he's a cannibal 

Oh, the one in the middle is Kronos

Oh and the one on the left is post dumb 

And the guy in the rear paints his face blue!

 

Well, the Horsemen had descended screams sang through out the land

As hundreds there were slaughtered so to amuse our merry band

But they took their politics seriously and that day as the raid began

While the Villagers watched deliriously they had a free for all!

 

CHORUS

Well, the one on the right was on the bottom

And Kronos in the middle was on the top 

And the one on the left got a broken arm 

And the one in the rear said, "Oh, dear!" 

 

Now this should be a lesson if you plan to raid and pillage

Don't go mixin' politics with the looting of the land!

Just work on slaughtering and raping keep your sword real sharp

And if you have political convictions keep 'em to yourself!

 

CHORUS

Now the one on the right is in the tank 

Kronos in the middle's The End Of Time! 

Oh, and the one on the left now he chops wood

And the one in the rear - disappeared ... 


IF YOU ONLY HAD A HEART (I'D CUT IT OUT!)

                                  by Dannell

                  Tune: If I Only Had A Heart from "The Wizard of Oz" 

 

When you are an Immie Horseman

Should Methos have a 'swell' plan.

He should be torn apart!

Just because I'm presumin'

That I could be kinda human

If I only had your heart!

 

I'd be vicious, I'd be villain

and awful good at killin'

When does the raiding start?

Disregarding the perils

I'd just let them shoot their arrows

If I only had a heart!

 

Picture me, a victim please.

Above a voice sings low,

"Oh, I Have A Heart, You Know!"

I hear it beat

How sweet!

 

Just to register emotion

Bloodlust, oh what a notion!

I'd really feel the part!

I'd take slaves and some others

And I'd share them with my " Brothers"

If I only had a heart ...!


BE A HORSEMAN!

                                  by Dannell

                   Tune: "Be A Dentist!" from "Little Shop of Horrors" 

 

When I was younger just a bad little kid 

My Mama noticed funny things I did

Like stabbing puppies with a dull blunt knife

I'd poison guppies and I'd take their life 

I'd find a pussy kat and bash in it's head 

That's when my Mama said:

 

She said, "My boy, I think someday

You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay

You'll be a Horseman!

You have a talent for causing things pain 

It will pay you to be inhumane!

Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood 

Farming would suit you still less

Be a Horseman!

You'll be a success!"

 

Methos, Silas and Caspian: Horseman Chorus: 

 

Here he is girls - The End Of Time!

Watch him de-cap-i-tate

Oh, my God - He's a Horseman!

And he'll never be any good

Who wants their Village burned, burned by the Marquis de Sade?

Ouch that hurts! That was my son!

 

KRONOS: "Oh, shut up! Gates open wide? Here I come!

 

I am a Horseman!

And great god how I enjoy the career that I've picked?!

I am a Horseman! I am be-head-ing!

And I get off on the pain I inflict!

When I start swinging my sword

By God, then I never get bored!

Horseman!

And though it may cause my victims distress 

Somewhere!

Somewhere in Heaven above!

I know!

I know that my Mama's proud of me ... Oh, Mama!

'Cause I am a Horseman and a success!

Say, "Cheese! Now die!"



THE END OF TIME 

                                  by Dannell

                              Tune: "The Invalides"

 

CHORUS:

Oh, I am called the End Of Time

And Kronos is my name

And while my steel controls the field

Then I can hack and maim!

 

We've all been touched by Immie blood - We are the Four Horsemen!

And whether on or off the field you can tell where I've been!

One warning I should give to all; now please hear what I say

Unless you are an Immie too, best not get in my way!!

 

CHORUS 

 

Our ranks are filled with Immortals, the rest are cannon fodder

And as for socials graces well, I never have to bother

For in this current Bronze Age now, I'm ruler and not servant

And if you cannot ever die who needs to be observant?

 

CHORUS 

 

I'm proud of being murderous, my manners are alarming

But when your swords as strong as mine why bother being charming??

If someone dares to criticize in word or deed or song

I seek him out and when they're found I whack them, then they're gone!

 

CHORUS 

 

If an Immie rises in the field to challenge my control

He doesn't worry me a bit, however brave or bold

Oh, Immies don't remain a threat, he'll not create a fuss

I'll just arrange to take his head ...

Or make him one of us!

 

CHORUS 

 


 



 


 

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