It feels real cold out, like it’s still winter time. Probably should’ve worn a sweatshirt or something like my mom said. But I ain’t giving her no satisfaction. Na... I’m my own man. Don’t need her telling me to do this and that.

I can see my own breath coming out, it’s so cold. Reminds me of Anna... the way the smoke from her marijuana used to just kind of float off her lips. Man, she was hot. I still miss her. Catch myself thinking about her like this all the time. don’t do me any good though. Can’t bring Anna back now.

The school bus finally shows up. None of my old friends on. They all be driving to school now. I can’t pass that drivers test though. Guess I’m too dumb or something. The bus driver smiles at me, like I’m some little kid getting on that dang bus for the first time. I’m about ready to pop him one, real good, right in his fat face. That starts me thinking about Anna again too, for some reason.

Next thing I know, I’m sitting down already, next to this little blond kid with glasses. He don’t say nothing to me. Dumb kids... scared of me, just ‘cause I’m bigger than them. Some day maybe I’ll really give ‘em something to be scared about. Ah, I guess it ain’t worth it.

Lisa Roberts’ is sitting way up in front, all by herself. I think about going and talking to her... catching up on old times. But what’s the use? Back before I met Anna, she used to dig me, and I thought she was all right too. Then, she lost interest... all she cares about is school now... getting her books straight... getting good grades and stuff. Yep, she’s too good for me now. Lotta people probably thinkin’ I’m a loser or something. Anna never did though. We was tight, man. “Inseparable”... that’s what she called us.

This girl climbs on the bus... looks kinda like Anna, just a year or two younger. Looks sort of dazed. I hear some people yelling at her when she walks by. Making fun of her and stuff. Saying she’s on too many drugs, and things like that. Man, it’s like Anna all over again. Funny how things work like that sometimes. One person goes away, or something. Another person just steps right in their place. No time for feeling bad. Everyone’s to busy growing up. Changing. Seems like I’m the only one standing still.

First period’s boring as hell. I just sit in the back of the room and don’t do nothing. The teacher... I don’t even know her name... she don’t bother calling on me. It’s a waste of time, man! Half the time I just sleep through class. Can’t skip, or else the principal’s all over me.

Last year, things was different. That’s when I had a reason to come to school everyday. Me and Anna - we used to fool around, and talk and stuff on the bus ride there. Then, we’d cut class just to meet up somewhere and make out. I didn’t care about no principal then. She was all that mattered.

My next class is Social Studies. Or do they call it Global Studies now? Or just history? Who cares. The teacher’s always trying to start class by having some big discussion. Tries to get everyone involved. It’s just stupid if you ask me.

Today she brings in this newspaper article. Something about why kids do drugs. She starts rambling on about how it’s peer pressure that gets kids started, or they don’t get no ‘emotional support’ from their parents.

The teacher sees that I ain’t happy about this whole deal. “How do you feel about this?” she asks me. Every one in the class is looking at me, and I don’t wanna say nothing.

“C’mon, don’t be shy.” she says smiling.

I shake my head, “It’s just that... You see... People...” I can't find the right words to say what I mean. Now, Anna’s all I can think about, for sure. Damn that teacher! Sticking her nose in where it don’t belong. Bad enough what I was going through anyway.

I get up, and walk out of class, right then and there. Don’t bother grabbing none of my books or nothing. Don’t say a word to anybody. Just walk out. I hear the teacher calling my name. I keep walking. I don’t care what the principal or nobody else says. I ain’t hanging.

I’m about a half mile up the road from the school before I start thinking again. I know where I’m going. Same place I always go.

There’s mud and muck all over the place. It’s one of those cheap cemeteries... Anna’s parents couldn’t afford much more. I look at her tombstone... it ain’t fitting, man. She deserves better. A lotta people wouldn’t agree... thought she was just a pot head or something.

But I knew her before she started doing that stuff, and after, and she was fine by me either way. I really loved that girl, I guess. She used to try to get me to smoke pot too, but I thought it’d mess me up, so I didn’t. Guess I knew better in the end.

Wasn’t just pot, though. Cops told me Anna was doing some of that harder stuff too. Said that’s what really did it to her. Guess she didn’t know when to stop... went too far with it, or something.

The cops asked me if I knew she was doing stuff. I said no. Quoted all that stuff they say on the TV shows. You know, “I thought I saw her acting differently... but I was never sure until it was too late... wa wa wa.” People ate it up... even felt sorry for me. I didn’t let on that I was down about the whole thing. Acted like everything was normal. I still don’t think nobody knows how much I loved her.

But that’s all in the past. I gotta stop thinking like that. Gotta stay in the present.

So, I wipe that little tear from off my cheek. Don’t do any good to cry about it. There’s this fresh bouquet of flowers on the grave next to hers. I grab one of the flowers by the stem and put it next to Anna’s spot. She deserves more, man. But it’s all I got to give her now.