I walked down the hall, making my way to the cafeteria. What was ordinarily one of my day’s better moments, hardly filled that description on this day. I could feel beads of sweat begin to form on my forehead, as I fidgeted nervously with the left strap of my backpack. In a moment, I would reach my destination.

When I stepped past her table, I heard them chattering away. One by one, they turned their heads, looking at me. I could feel their eyes burning holes through me, getting more intense by the second. “Are you okay?” Mike asked from across my table.

“Yeah... umm.... sure..... I’m fine.... yeah.” I stuttered. He gave me a funny look, but then resumed with his meal. I waited. I know that it would happen soon. All of a sudden I heard on of the chairs from her table squeak out from it’s original position. I knew that it was being vacated.... that it’s occupant was coming my way. The footsteps came closer, until finally, Becky Bracknall stood beside me, grinning.

“Did you really write that note to Molly?” she inquired, referring to message I had slipped into Molly’s locker earlier that day, asking her out.

I looked down. I had known from the moment I delivered the note that it was a bad idea. Here came my dilemma... do the moral thing: tell the truth and get embarrassed by Molly rejecting me, or just lie and say it was some sort of misunderstanding. My mouth didn’t give much respect to my though process, and just blurted out, “Yes.”

Becky let out a small giggle, and then went back to her table. At that point, I heard her emit a boisterous, full-fledged laugh. It was soon followed by a chorus of chuckling and snickering from the remainder of the table she occupied. I turned my head quickly, to catch a glimpse of Molly. She seemed to be laughing more boldly than any of the others. This was far worse than just a turn down would have been.

When I got home, my feelings of anger and embarrassment hadn’t yet abated. But as I entered, I saw something was clearly out of place. My mother was sitting on the couch in the living room... home from work about two hours earlier than she should have been. Her head was buried in her hands. “Mom?” I said softly as I walked in. “What’s going on?”

She looked up, her face bent strangely, her cheeks stained with tears. She stood up and embraced me. She didn’t let go for a long time. When she finally did, I could tell that she was fighting back another barrage of tears while she spoke the words, her voice cracking, “ Your father... he... he was in a car accident during his lunch break. He didn’t make it.” She then released the tears at last.

“What?” I asked. It wasn’t that I hadn’t heard her, but that I was in total disbelief. She reached out to hug me again, but I backed away, and then ran into my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

I had though I had lost so much when Molly rejected me. But what had I really lost? Thinking she liked me - it was just a figment of my imagination. I never had her love, so it wasn’t mine to lose. Did I lose my reputation? I never had much of one to begin with, and even so, the whole event would have been forgotten by most people within a few weeks.

But my father - that was a real loss. I’ll never truly be able to discover how much disappeared from my life in that accident. I’ll never experience the next great thing he’d have done for me. I’ll never hear his voice giving one more piece of advice. None of the thoughts came until much later, though. For that time - right after I heard the news - all I could do was sit down at the corner of my bed, and cry.