OSCAR WILDE!!!
Algernon: Relations are simply a tedious pack of people, who haven't got the remotest knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die.
Jack: I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can't go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become a public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left.
Algernon: We have
Jack: I should extremely like to meet them. What do they talk about?
Algernon: The fools? Oh! About the clever people of course.
Jack: What fools.
Gwendolen: On an occasion of this kind it becomes more than a moral duty to speak one's mind. It becomes a pleasure.
That is just a wee sample of Wilde's wonderful work! Go read "The Picture of Dorian Grey" if you like something darker...
Children are like wine. Most of them should be poured out and are only suitable for those without taste, and they age badly. Others are capable of fine things if stuck someplace dark, damp, and out of the way for several years. -Joshua Weiner
We're Asian goths. We don't need no black hair dye. -Mike Hsieh
I'll take this opportunity to say that, yes, i *am* a big whorebag. Slut-o-rama. Trollop City. Call me Linzer cause i sure am a tart. Yup. (Yes, that's my *tongue* in my cheek. :) -Lady Bathory
Get a taste for religion, lick a witch!
What do you say to an angery witch? "Ribbit"
What do you call 13 witches in a hot tub? A self-cleaning coven.
We can kick your ass without smearing our eyeliner.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
"Monkey pull lver, Monkey get banana."
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
There's too much blood in my caffeine stream.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
"Learning is the goal, and there is no destination."
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be having a good time.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
"Evil wears a pink dress."
"Death is life's litle way of telling you you're fired."
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.
Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Honk if you like peace and quiet.
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.
"If you are what you eat, will I be you tomorrow?"
" Politics are just highly convulted power plays for territory and rank. Who's going to be the alpha? Lets vote."
If money can't buy happiness, I guess you'll just have to rent it.
Drive defensively, buy a tank.
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me.
Carpe GM: Seize the Game Master
The unexamined life is not worth living.
It looks like blind screaming hedonism won out.
Save the whales, collect the whole set.
If everything is coming your way, then you're in the wrong lane.
LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands.
Earn cash in your spare time, blackmail your friends.
Oh well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.
Life is a glitch in the universal program; death is just the programmer's way of debugging.
I have crossed and recrossed the line between sanity and madness so many times that I have all but rubbed it out.
Speak softly, but carry an M16.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for I am the meanest sonofabitch in the valley.
Clever is getting out alive.
Believe in Darwin; cancer cures smoking.
Lead me not into temptation; I can find it myself.
You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core . . . I like that in a person.
To err is human, to forgive is not Company Policy.
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Stop crime at its source! Support Planned Parenthood
The former ruler of Russia and his wife were called Tsar and Tsarina, so clearly their children were called Tsardines.
