The Burden
"Why is my burden so heavy?" I slammed the
office door and
leaned against it.
Is there no rest from this life? I wondered.
I stumbled to my
desk and
dropped into my chair, pressing my face into my arms
to shut out the
frustrations of my existence.
"Oh God," I cried, "let me sleep. Let me
sleep forever and
never
wake
up!". With a deep sob I willed myself into oblivion,
then welcomed the
blackness
that came over me.
Light surrounded me as I regained
consciousness. I focused on
the
source:
The figure of a man standing before a cross.
"My child," the Person asked, "why did you
want to come to me
before I
am ready to call you?"
"Lord, I'm sorry. It's just that... I can't
go on. You see how
hard it
is for me. Look at this awful burden on my back. I
simply can't carry it
anymore."
"But haven't I told you to cast all of your
burdens upon me,
because I
care for you? My yoke is easy, and My burden is
light."
"I knew You would say that. But why does
mine have to be so
heavy?"
"My child, everyone in the world has a
burden. Perhaps you
would
like to
try a different one?"
"I can do that?"
He pointed to several burdens lying at His
feet. "You may try
any of
these."
All of them seemed to be of equal size. But
each was labeled
with a
name.
"There's Joan's," I said. Joan was married
to a wealthy
businessman. She
lived in a sprawling estate and dressed her three
daughters in the
prettiest
designer clothes. Sometimes she drove
me to church
in her Cadillac when
my car
was broken.
"Let me try that one." How difficult could
her burden be? I
thought. The
Lord removed my burden and placed Joan's on my
shoulders. I sank my
knees
beneath its weight. "Take it off!" I said. "What
makes it so heavy?"
"Look inside."
I untied the straps and opened the top.
Inside was a figure of
he
Mother-in-law, and when I lifted it out, it began to
speak.
"Joan, you'll never be good enough for my
son," it began. "He
never
should have married you. You're a terrible mother to
my
grandchildren..." I
quickly placed the figure back in the pack and
withdrew another. It was
Donna,
Joan's youngest daughter. Her
head was bandaged from
the surgery that
had failed
to resolve her epilepsy. A third figure was Joan's
brother. Addicted to
drugs,
he had been convicted of killing a police officer.
"I see why her burden is so heavy, Lord. But
she's always
smiling and
helping others. I didn't realize...."
"Would you like to try another?" He asked
quietly.
I tested several. Paula's felt heavy: She
was raising four
small
boys
without a father. Debra's did too: A childhood of
abuse and a marriage
of
emotional abuse.
When I looked at another, I didn't even try.
I knew that inside
I would
find arthritis, old age, a demanding
full-time job,
and a beloved
husband in a
nursing home. "They're all too heavy,
Lord," I
said." "Give me back my
own." As
I lifted the familiar load once
again, It seemed
much lighter than the
others
did.
"Lets look inside" He said.
I turned away, holding it close. "That's not
a good idea," I >
said.
"Why?"
"There's a lot of junk in there."
"Let Me see."
His gentle voice compelled me. I opened my
burden. He pulled
out
a
brick.
"Tell me about this one."
"Lord, You know. It's money. I know we don't
suffer like people
in some
countries or even the homeless here in America. But
we have no
insurance, and
when the kids get sick, we can't always
take
them to
the doctor. They've
never
been to a dentist. And I'm tired of
dressing them in
hand-me-downs."
"My child, I will supply all of your
needs... and your
children's. I've
given them healthy bodies. I will teach them that
expensive clothing
doesn't
make a person valuable in my sight." Then He lifted
out the figure of a
small
boy.
"And this?" He asked. "Andrew..." I hung my
head, ashamed to
call my son
a burden. "But, Lord, he's hyperactive. He's not
quiet like the other
two. He
makes me so tired. He's always getting
hurt, and
someone is bound to
think I
abuse him. I yell at him all the time.
Someday I may
really hurt
him...."
"My child," He said, "If you trust Me, I
will renew your
strength, if
you allow Me to fill you with My Spirit, I will give
you patience."
Then
He took
some pebbles from my burden.
"Yes, Lord," I said with a sigh. "Those are
small. But they're
important. I hate my hair. It's thin, and I can't
make it look nice. I
can't
afford to go to the beauty shop. I'm overweight and
can't stay on a
diet. I hate
all my clothes. I hate the way I look!"
"My child, people look at your outward
appearance, but I look
at
your
heart. By My Spirit you can gain self-control to
lose weight.
But
your
beauty
should not come from outward appearance. Instead, it
should come from
your inner
self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and
quiet
spirit, which is of
great worth
in My sight."
My burden now seemed lighter than before. "I
guess I can handle
it now,"
I said.
"There is more," He said. "Hand Me that last
brick." "Oh, You
don't have
to take that. I can handle it." "My child, give it
to me." Again His
voice
compelled me. He reached out His hand, and for the
first time I saw the
ugly
wound.
"But, Lord, this brick is so awful, so
nasty, so...Lord! What
happened
to Your hands? They're so scarred!"
No longer focused on my burden, I looked for
the first time
into
His
face. In His brow were ragged scars-as though
someone had pressed
thorns into
His flesh. "Lord," I whispered. "What happened to
you?" His loving eyes
reached
into my soul.
"My child, you know. Hand me the brick. It
belongs to Me. I
bought it."
"How?"
"With My blood."
"But why, Lord?"
"Because I have loved you with an
everlasting love." Give the
last brick
to me."
I placed the filthy brick into His wounded
palm. It contained
the entire
dirt and evil of my life: my pride, my selfishness,
and the depression
that
constantly tormented me. He turned to the cross and
hurled my brick
into
the
pool of blood at its base. It hardly made a ripple.
"Now, My child, you need to go back. I will
be with you always.
When you
are troubled, call to Me and I will help you and
show you things you
cannot
imagine now."
"Yes, Lord, I will call on you."
I reached to pick up my burden.
"You may leave that here if you wish. You
see all these burdens?
They
are the ones that others have left at my feet.
Joan's , Paula's, Debra's,
Ruth's... When you leave your burden here,
I
carry
it with you.
Remember, My
yoke is easy and My burden is light."
As I placed my burden with Him, the light
began to fade. Yet I
heard Him
whisper, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."
A peace flooded my
soul.
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