There is this dumb jock in my class
his behavior it is rude and crass
one day I grew sick
of this obnoxious prick
sitting behind me so I kicked his ass.
So why this sudden outburst of crime?
You see, well, he asked me the time
I said "look at the clock
you're as dumb as a rock
all that beer's turned your brain into slime!"
With that he sincerely attempted
to insult me but he was preempted
as there was nothing in his head
he was rather brain dead
so you see I was very tempted
To take the opportunity to say
"I'm sorry your strength does delay
any thought that procures
in that noggin of yours"
(I think I'll get out of the way!)
And so he began to ponder
the big picture and all that's out yonder
I think he was thinking
of what he'd be drinking
that night and his heart grew fonder.
But those thoughts had adversely affected
that dumb expression that he had perfected
he began to get bloated
then his brain exploded
his head and neck were no longer connected.
So the moral of the story is clear
the tool of Satan, my friends, is the beer
so don't try to have thought
and lay off the pot
or the explosion of your brain I would fear!
[I'm sorry if I have offended
anybody but this poem has ended
it's really not true
jocks are people too
truly, no offense was intended.]