Personality Goes a Long Way

They say that opposites attract...well, that’s not always true! Sometimes a couple can consist of two very similar people! But how does one co-exist with a partner who is sometimes annoying, irritating, too sweet, too quiet, too loud, too outspoken, too reserved...you get the picture.

The best thing to do is to find out WHAT kind of person you are! There are two different tests you can take to find out your personality profile. The most popular one is called the Myers-Briggs Test. It began as a life long study by a mother whose daughter brought home a gentleman totally unlike the family. Mrs. Myers began to study personalities, and her daughter, Ms. Briggs, took over when her mom passed away. The Myers-Briggs Test is frequently given at university, or by companies, who want to know what kind of people they are hiring! It’s an easy test, and puts people into 16 distinct categories.

The Myers Briggs Categories

Those 16 categories come from 8 types of behavior: E or I, S or N, T or F, and J or P. Now - you want to know what those STAND for, right?

  • Extroversion (E)- Preference for drawing energy from the outside world of people, activities or things.
  • Introversion (I)- Preference for drawing energy from one's internal world of ideas, emotions, or impressions.

  • Sensing (S)- Preference for taking in information through the five senses and noticing what is actual.
  • Intuition (N)- Preference for taking in information through a "sixth sense" and noticing what might be. Jung calls this "unconscious perceiving".

  • Thinking (T)- Preference for organizing and structuring information to decide in a logical, objective way.
  • Feeling (F)- Preference for organizing and structuring information to decide in a personal, value-oriented way.

  • Judgement (J)- Preference for living a planned and organized life.
  • Perception (P)- Preference for living a spontaneous and flexible life.

    If you are anything like me - you can already guess what four fit you! Well, PROVE IT! Just below this paragraph you’ll find a link to a location that gives the test. I urge you to take it, then come back here after you’ve learned what kind of personality you are! And if you can get your spouse to take the test, you’ll learn even more! And then we can see how you two are supposed to relate to each other!

    The Kersey Temperament Sorter

    Words to Describe the Types

    Now, you need to find out the key to succeeding as a couple. Someone who is an outgoing "E" might be frustrated by the more mellow "I". The orderly "J" get frustrated by the roll-with-the-punches "P". See how that works? The key is in the picture below:

    See how the arrows go from one individual to the other? See how the circles have a COMMON area? Most couples share at least one character type, if not two or three. Let me say right now - there is no such thing as a "wrong" answer!!! The key to having a successful relationship is to enjoy the common areas, but enjoy the commonality as well!

    A marriage license is not a license to sculpt the other person into someone else!

    As an example, my fiancee HATES to dance - whereas I LIVE FOR it. He overlooked his own hatred of dancing and went with me to a dance party until 6:00 a.m.! He was miserable, but he went because he knew I wanted him there to see what part of my life is like! That is a case of him moving THROUGH the common area and WHOLLY into my world. He expressed his discomfort (his feeling) but overcame it and went (his behavior).

    The key is that love is a way of behavior - not just a feeling

    When we can overlook our own feelings and support our spouse in THEIR interests, then we are also able to help them look into OUR personal interests and take part! That's the arrow going BACK and FORTH! Two INDIVIDUALS enjoying life TOGETHER in their own unique ways!!!