"There is No such thing as too silly" - Amanda Cotten
"I'm too sexy for the band bus . . . so they put me on the roof" - Amanda at Kri
"I'm really not, um, not, um, that dangerous." - Andy
"I'll see when John can come down and talk about what it's like to be a John" - Noelle
"Paul has a strong desire to return to the womb today" - Andy
"What happens if you yell building in the middle of a fire?" - Andy
"The same as parking on a driveway, or driving on a park . . never mind." - Paul
"Dogs have masters. Cats have staff." :)
"Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats. Cats have never forgotten this"
"Slobbing is an important aspect of human life."
"I don't study anuses" - Kri
"The macaroni and cheese crayons still taste like crayons; the watermelon ones still taste like crayon; dammit, even the flesh ones still taste like crayon." - Amanda
"Pardon me sir, you dropped your uterus." Wooster townie spoken to Paul
"Music self played is happiness self made." - They Might be Giants
American cheese is the hotdog of cheeses." - Andy
"I am not a fish." - British Mike
"It's bright and yellow and phalic." (said of a banana) - The Brothers McMullen
"I have no penis" - Kri
"Folks, I'm German. Let me be anal about this." Gerhardt Zimmerman on conducting Beethoven's Ninth Symphony
"The body is a vehicle that the soul uses to joyride." - Amanda
"Physics is silly. You can study and understand gravity all you want to, but it will still kill you." - Amanda
"There is one way, but many paths." - Noelle
"Who are you? Oh...a wacko." directed towards Isa
"Why exactly are you doing this?" Also directed towards Isa
"Would you like to pet my monkey?" - Paul
"Rock on white sister" - Random black guy
"Impressive. Stupid, but impressive." - Doug
"Hell yes I'll forgive you, but I won't forget."
"Teacher - I lost my pants." - Nate Gringo
"Well Mike...it's part of your heritage, so suck it up and deal." - Amanda
"Who is Matt Wagner, and why does he keep coming up in conversation?"
"Dude. Don't mess with me. I know my tea." - Overheard in Lowry
"If you know you are going to get screwed anyway, you might as well lay back and enjoy it." - Matt
"Only the French do silly things like that." - John M Russell
"I'd rather have his bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." - Scott
"Only the British can get away with wearing orange." - Cheryl
"England and America are two countries divided by a common language." - George Bernard Shaw
"Guns don't kill people, the government does." - King of the Hill
"The Truth is out there" - The X-Files "And the truth is we do not know anything" - They Might be Giants
"Shake me I tell you! Shake me like a British nanny." Stewie (Family Guy).
"I've never been a praying man. But, if you're out there, PLEASE SAVE ME SUPERMAN!!!!!" Homer Simpson
Red Dwarf Quotes
"If I don't nap nine or ten times a day, I don't have enough energy for my main snooze." - The Cat
"You are a total, total - a word has yet to be invented to describe how totally whatever it is you are, but you are one and a total, total one at that." - Arnold J Rimmer
"I've come to warn you that in three million years you will be dead."- Arnold J Rimmer
"I say we get out there and twat it." - Dave Lister
"You guys are all insane." - Talkie toaster (trademark patent applied for.)
"I think it comes down to a choice between The League against Salivating Monsters or Commitee for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Rehabilitation Into Society. Just one drawback with that - the abbreviation is Clitoris." - Arnold J Rimmer
Robin Hood, Men in Tights
"Why should the people listen to you?" (King John) "Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent!" (Robin Hood)
"Pissed off? If I were that close to a horses wiener, I'd be worried abut getting pissed on." (Brother Achoo)
"It's not going to be easy getting out of here. What we need is a great feat of strength." (Robin Hood) "Feat of strength? Oh contraire. Now that you are here with me, what we have is great stregth of feet." (Asneeze)
"From now on, all toilets in this country will be known as Johns." (King Richard)
"King? Which king might that be? King Richard, King Louis, King Kong? Larry King?" (Robin Hood)
"My name is Little John. Ere, don't let my name fool you. In real life, I'm very big." (Little John)
Southpark
"Respect my authority." (Cartman)
"Oh my God. They killed Kenny. You bastards."
"It's doing something to it's ass. It's not kicking it's ass, but it's doing something to it's ass." (Cartman)
"Stan's dog is a gay homosexual." (Cartman)
"It's all a bunch of tree-huggin hippie crap." (Cartman)
Monty Python
"You assured me, that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a prolonged squawk." "It's not dead, it's pining for the fjords." (Dead parrot sketch)
"Always look on the bright side of life" (Life of Brian)
"I did, you know, the murders, but seing how you're looking forward to this so much, I thought I'd plead Not guilty." "Where is the counsel for the defense?" "He's not hear yet, m'lud. He said we could go on without him." "Very well, carry on." "Sorry I'm late, m'lud. I couldn't find a Kosher car park." (The opening statements at the trial of Michael Norman Smith)