These are various quotes and sayings 
and just plain wierd stuff I've found.

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I'm not the most stable person in the world. As a matter
of fact I've been seeing a physciatrist for the last 6 
years, only problem is no one else can see him...there! 
there he goes again.
  ~Mishy~
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El Nino is the reason for the voices in my head. At least
that's what my evil dog tells me, when he's not telling 
me who to kill. 
  ~Mishy~
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Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side, a dark side, 
and it holds the universe together ! 
  ~Mishy~
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If I were Noah, I would have refused to build the ark. 
Therefore saving millions of lives, I'd have my own 
bible by now. And I'd be more popular than John Lennon.
  ~unknown philosopher~
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I used to be Catholic...but I gave it up for lent.
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Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  ~Steven Wright~
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 Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe
you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
  ~Steven Wright~
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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
  ~Steven Wright~
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  If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it,
do the other trees make fun of it?
  ~Steven Wright~
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next
door went nuts.
  ~Steven Wright~
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If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is
that considered a hostage situation?
  ~Steven Wright~
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If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
  ~Steven Wright~
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I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live
above me are furious.
  ~Steven Wright~
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
  ~Steven Wright~
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If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
  ~Steven Wright~
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You can lead a horse to water, but if you can get him to 
float on his back ...you've really got something. 
  ~Mishy~
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If at first you don't succeed ... so much for skydiving. 
  ~Mishy~
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"Fools and their money are soon elected." 
  ~Unknown~
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"If you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the 
sounds of a restaurant." 
  ~Snoopy~
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"No individual raindrop ever considers itself 
responsible for the flood." 
  ~Unknown~
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"It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless 
of course, you are an exceptionally good liar." 
  ~Jerome K. Jerome~
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"The chicken probably came before the egg because it is
hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg." 
  ~Unknown~
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"Speak softly and carry a thermal nuclear device."
  ~Unknown~
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"They can't get your goat, if they don't know 
where you tied it up." 
  ~Munchkin~
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