All of these stories, unless otherwise specified, are the original works of Bernie and Rachael, © 1997, 1998, 1999. We have no connections to any of the nonfictional characters mentioned in these works; all other characters are simply figments of our imagination. All events are fictional (at the most they're based loosely on things we've done, but that's rare), and any similarity to any persons, living or dead, is purely a really weird twist of fate.