Vampires, have always been slightly ludicrous figures. They, for the most part represent mankind's fear of the dark, and also to some extent of dissipation. That as a race we possess ridiculous fears and conceits is in no small way, responsible for the modern popularity of the vampire myths. Many will argue that the vampire mythology is almost as old as the race, but this is the same sort of ill considered revisionism which has led to the Tannhauser story being classified as an early alien abduction legend. Although many figures of the folklore resemble vampires in their modern incarnation, a consistent corpus of vampire folklore did not develop until the sixteen hundreds. Those who profess vampirism personally, often claim an earlier origin, some particularly demented scholars wringing some vague succour from the biblical character Cain. In truth those these claims really have the ring of the cultureless about them, a nouveau riche in the field of the occult, trying to borrow legitimacy from previous luminaries. After all who else but the desperate speaks of their generation or their blood line? The true aristocracy of the supernatural, having nothing to prove, has no need to pass their mongrel heritage off as a license to play in the great game.

"Oy! You bloody kids, get out of my garden!

So other than being frauds, parasites, inept magicians, and playing to the back rows, what is wrong with the vampires? Its a difficult question, but its a lot to do with their constant unfaithfulness to their actual heritage, their self absorption, their vague predilection for black (not entirely a bad thing, as a single coloured wardrobe makes simpatico dressing all the more rapid), and the fact that as creatures of the Id, they really are rather tame.