me
i just play for keeps
and straighten out 
the rows of domino crackers
on my kitchen floor

(my cats don't like it)

i take a shower
hair soaking wet from all
the clairol
not tested on animals by the way
walk around the house
naked

i keep myself pretty occupied

i write on my journal
run barefoot
along the beach
in 40 degree weather
at midnight
read year-old issues 
of soap opera digest
count the chicken legs
in my freezer
throw dinner parties
for one
and plenty of 
caviar and
white zin
bathe my 
hamster
and 
mow the lawn
with my
hair clippers

but for the 
life of me
today
i still can't
figure out
what went wrong
with him and me
and why i cross
the cafeteria
and with him there
we stare ahead
forget about
the nights of
love
and tears

carnal love my ass

mystified
by many
japanese goldfish
floating in my 
ceiling
face down
he would
lie down next
to me
with a budweiser
and count the
orange hues
we loved so
much

he was just as 
normal 
as me

and now
i walked past
him
he just stared
straight ahead
dead to me
on the pain

perhaps i can
forget
paint my walls
with indigo ink
wallpaper my
sofa
and fix the 
engine
on my 
toilet bowl

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