Ship Wreck
There is this ship that goes out to sea and sinks in a huge storm. 6 people (1 Woman and 5 men) survive and use a life raft to float to a deserted island. After spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely... sexually deprived lonely. So they come to this agreement: each man will marry the one woman for a week. So the first man has her for one week, then the second man has her for the second week, and so on. Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it. This goes on for five years and everyone is happy. Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man every week. Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies!!!! The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week it's getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad...really bad, the fifth week it is just awful...it's getting so bad...
Sooooo...on the sixth week......
They bury her.

The Sailor and The Chicken
A sailor who has been at sea for several months comes into port and heads for a brothel. He tells the man at the desk he'd like a woman, but he doesn't have much money. The man tells him a girl will cost him $40 and a show is $20. The sailor is desperate as he only has $5, having lost most of his money in cards games aboard ship. "You've got to help me out! I've been at sea for months and I really need a woman. You've got to do somethning for me. Please!" The man thinks for a moment, takes the money, and directs the sailor to one of the upstairs rooms. Once inside the room the sailor looks around but the only thing he sees is a chicken. Desperate for some action, he resigns himself to f**k the chicken and quickly leaves. Two weeks later, he returns, this time having won a few bucks on ship. "What do you have for $20," he asks. The man directs him upstairs once again to a different room. Opening the door, the room is packed with men shoulder to shoulder all watching lesbians through a one-way mirror on the wall. The sailor's eyes light up as he watches and remarking to a man standing next to him, "This is great." The man replies, "If you think this is great, you should have been here 2 weeks ago. There was a guy f**king a chicken!"

Pray to God
A Father is passing by his son's room while he is praying before bed. He overhears the little boy's prayer. "Thank you God for everything. Goodnight mom, goodnight dad, goodbye grampa." The father is curious why the "goodbye grampa" The next morning at 3:00 AM, the man and his wife are notified that the grampa passed away. The man is curious, and decides to listen to his child's prayers again. "Thank you God for everything. Goodnight mom, goodnight dad, goodbye Spot." The next day, the dog died. "Whoa," the man thought, "we really have something here!" He listened to his son that night. "Thank you God for everything. Goodnight mom, goodbye dad." The man nearly chokes. "Goodbye dad???" He knows what it means. So he proceeds to do all the things he never did. He makes love to his wife on the kitchen counter, goes to work the next day and sleeps with his secretary in front of his boss. He goes to a bar, runs up a $500 tab, but still is not dead. He walks home, along the train tracks... He gets to his home, and his wife is in tears.
"Honey what is wrong?" he asks her. She replies, "I woke up and found the mailman dead on the porch.

Buying Condoms
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchaseand leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Joyful Sneezes
A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can't believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman is about to go nuts. She can't believe that such a rude person exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes yet again. He takes his wang out and wipes the tip off. The woman has finally had enough. She turns to the man and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've removed your penis from your pants to wipe it off! What the hell kind of degenerate are you?" The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I have a very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?" The man looks at her and says, "Pepper."

THIS IS SO FUNNY!
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By the way, I stole most of these jokes. Sorry.

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