++Paul Harvey, American radio's premier commentator, read this on his Noon News, Saturday, May 16, 1998. The response was overwhelming. Harvey's Chicago office was inundated by phone calls, mail and faxes.++

An Open Letter from God and Goddess:

Our dear children, and believe Us, that is all of you, We consider ourself a pretty patient one. We mean, look at the Grand Canyon. It took millions of years to get it right. And about evolution? Boy, nothing is slower than designing that whole Darwinian thing to take place cell by cell and gene by gene.

And We have been patient through your fashions, your civilizations, wars and schemes, and the countless ways that you take Us for granted until you get yourselves into big trouble again and again. We want to let you know about some of the things that started ticking Us off. First of all, your religious rivalries are driving Us up a wall. Enough already!

Let's get one thing straight. These are your religions, not Mine. We are the whole enchilada. We are beyond 'em all.

Every one of your religions claims that there's only one of Us, which, by the way, is absolutely true, but in the very next breath each religion claims that it's Our favorite one. And each claims its bible was written personally by Us, and that all of the other bibles are man-made. Oh, My. How do We ever begin to put a stop to such complicated nonsense? All right, listen up now.

We are your Father and Mother, and We don't play favorites among Our children. Also, We hate to break it to you, but We don't write. Our longhand is awful, and We've always been more of a doer anyway. So ALL of your books,including those bibles, were written by men and women. They were inspired men and women, they were remarkable people, but they also made mistakes here and there. And We made sure of that, so that you would never trust a written word rather than your own living heart. You see, one human being to Us -- even a bum on the street -- is worth more than all of the holy books in the world. That's just the kind We are. Our spirit is not an historical thing. It's alive right now, right now, as fresh as your next breath. Holy books and religious rites are sacred and powerful, but they are not more so than the least of you. They were only meant to steer you in the right direction, not to keep you arguing with each other, and certainly not to keep you from trusting your own personal connection with Us.

Which brings Us to Our next point about your nonsense. You act like We need you and your religions to stick up for Us or win souls for Our sake. Please, don't do Us any favors. We can stand quite well on Our own, thank you. We don't need you to defend Us, We don't need constant credit. We just want you to be good to each other. And another thing. We don't get all worked up over money or politics, so stop dragging Our name into your dramas. For example, We swear to Us that We never threatened Oral Roberts. We never rode in any of Rajneesh's Rolls Royces and We never told Pat Robertson to run for president, and We have never had a conversation with Jim Bakker, Jerry Falwell or Jimmy Swaggart. Of course, come Judgement Day, We certainly intend to. Now the thing is, We want you to stop thinking of religion as some sort of a loyalty pledge to Us. The true purpose of religion is so that YOU can become more aware of US, not the other way around. Believe Us, We know you already. We know what's in each of your hearts, and We love you anyway with no strings attached. So, lighten up and enjoy Us. That's what religion's best for. What you seem to forget is how mysterious We are. You look at the petty differences in your scriptures and you say, "Well, if this is the truth, then that can't be." But instead of trying to figure out Our paradoxes and unfathomable nature -- which, by the way, you never will -- why not open your hearts to the simple, common threads of every religion? You know what We are talking about. Play nice with each other. Love and respect everyone. Be kind. Even when life is scary or confusing, take courage and be of good cheer, for We are always with you. And learn how to be quiet, so that you can hear Our still, small voice. We don't like to shout. Leave the world a better place by living your life with dignity and gracefulness, for you are Our own child. Hold back nothing from life, for the parts of you that can die surely will, and the parts that can't, won't.

So don't worry, be happy. (We stole that last line from Bobby McFerrin, but Who gave it to him in the first place?) Simple stuff now. Why do you keep making it so complicated? It's like you're always looking for an excuse to be upset. And We are very tired of being your main excuse. Do you think whether you call Us God and Goddess, or Yahweh, or Jehovah, Allah, Wakatonka, Brahma, Father, Mother, even the Void of Nirvana? Do you think We care which of Our Special Children you feel closest to -- Jesus, Mary, Buddha, Krishna, Mohammed or any of the others? You can call Us and Our Special Ones any names you choose, if only you will go about Our business of loving one another as We love you. How can you keep neglecting something so simple?

No, We are not telling you to abandon your religions. Enjoy your religions, honor them, learn from them, just as you should enjoy, honor, and learn from your parents. But do you walk around telling everyone that your parents are better than theirs? Your religion, like your parents, may always have the most special place in your heart. We don't mind that at all. And We don't want you to combine all of the great traditions into One big mess. Each religion is unique for a reason. Each has a unique style so that people can find the best path for themselves. But Our Special Children -- the ones that your religions revolve around -- all live in the same place in Our heart, and they get along perfectly, We assure you. The clergy must stop creating a myth of sibling rivalry where there is none. Our blessed children of Earth, the world has grown too small for your pervasive religious bigotrys and confusion. The whole planet is now connected by air travel, satellite dishes, telephones, fax machines, rock concerts, diseases and mutual needs and concerns. Get with the program! If you really want to help me celebrate the birthday of Our Son Jesus, then commit yourselves to figuring out how to feed your hungry and clothe your naked, and protect your abused and shelter your poor. And just as important, make your own everyday life a shining example of kindness and good humor. We've given you all the resources you need, if only you abandon your fear of each other and begin living, and loving and laughing together. Now, We are not really ticked off. Not really. We just wanted to grab your attention because We hate to see you suffer. But We gave you free will, so what can We do now other than try to influence you through reason, persuasion, and a little old-fashioned guilt and manipulation? After all, you know We are the original Jewish Mother. We just want you to be happy, and We'll sit in the dark. We really are with you always. Always.

Trust in Us.

Your One and Only,

God and Goddess

------------------------------------------------