These are my personal writings, either ones I have had on other web pages(that are long gone or still circulating) or just cause.  I love to write poetry and one day maybe this page will be big enough to make a book.

Enjoy!!!!!!

Why did he?

I dream in the nights
And see what has been and can be
I turn around quickly
Afraid of some things I see

I fear what will happen
The road you must face
I know you have strength
But I know you can break

I will be your strength
When the most you will need me
As we dance through our lives
To see what will be

I will try to make you happy
With things I do and say
I know it this road isn't easy
But I don't want you to pay

So every night
When you lay down to sleep
Just know that you will take
My heart with you to keep

It seems as if the stars
Know what we go through
For as I pray to the night sky
They will shine brighter for you

And mother nature
Always will play her games
With the birds in the trees
The wind cries out your name

My heart always will hold
A special place for all of us to be
For deep in my heart
I hold both of our families

And the day will come
When we will not have to battle anymore
And peace will be in our souls
The wind will be calm as we open the door

And with yours and mine children raised
And our lives at peace again
We will have OUR time
I will be the one there in the end

I cherish our families
And I cherish your heart
You know everything about me
You did from the start

Now we go deep inside this world
Giving for our hearts and souls
Knowing that we are one now
And through the door we go

And as the skies are shining
And the wind caresses our hair
For the powers of the Goddess is on our side
After time is done, we will be there

We can conquer all as long as we are together.

Inside To Be

Lighting the candles
I see in the flame
Things that could be
The flames spell a name

I turn to gaze
At a face I know
I know what will come
For I watched the fire show

As I go out walking
In the woods by the stream
I stop for drink
And see him looking back at me

I sit down gently
Beside a rumbling water fall
To close my eyes in peace
To beckon to the call

As my thoughts run away
I see his face behind closed eyes
What could bring me to this?
As I look up to the skies

Every time I turn around
His presence is there by my side
He is in my every waking hour
He haunts my dreams at night

He touched my heart
In ways I never knew
Now I weave my spell
For dreams to come true

As the crystal shines in the moonlight
And the rose has it's morning dew
I see what could be happening
I see what becomes of you

Can someone have such faith in themselves
And no faith in the world we live?
Can they not see the beauty that surrounds us all,
That is inside us all to give?

As I drift higher into the sky
My soul flying as high as the birds
I can't seem to find what to say
I can't find the words

How do you show someone
Exactly how you feel?
The love is there for the taking
They didn't have to steal

Does he not know the direction?
Should I show him the way?
So his soul could be at peace
So he can enjoy the warmth of the day?

Night is falling in
The waxing moon is on high
My candles are burned down
It is time for goodbyes

As I walk back to my home
And prepare myself for bed
The questions from the evening
Are stirring in my head

I lay myself down
And drift off to sleep
Only to find him in my dreams
And his love, in my dreams to keep

This is written and Dedicated to my lovely baby, Rhiannon Cherie'.  Arrived and Departed on August 14, 1998.

Rhiannon Cherie'

May you always feel loved and protected, may you never lose sight of the way,

May you carry the Lady within your heart, and rejoice in Her every day.

Rhiannon Cherie'

Arrived and Departed:  August 14, 1998

Mommy will soon be there to hold you, My Dear Precious Baby.

The Goddess blessed me with you

for just a little while

She said, "Keep her in your heart"

Then when she turned around

She took you back

Saying, " A child like this, I cannot part."

She left my arms empty

And asking Her why?

And looking down from above upon us on earth the Goddess said,

"My children, you had her for a little while. Now she is

Here at home, waiting for you to join her one day. I could not stand

to be without this beautiful child so I will hold her close

till you can get here to be with her."

And as I look up to the sky, I see in my minds eye,

All of those that I have loved and cared about,

Standing beside the Goddess while she holds a beautiful

Brown curly haired baby girl with big blue eyes in Her arms.

I wrote this poem for a friend of mine's friend who lost his father. He was very upset. This was to help him remember "we always go on."

I remember the times of joy

As we played together when I was young

I remember the words of wisdom

And the hug before bed, when day was done

I remember the encouragement you gave to me

When I didn't hit the baseball

And you working with me to learn

And smiling through it all

I remember you saying

"I knew you had it in you all along"

When it was my first music concert

And I couldn't remember the song

I remember the pats on the back

The hugs now and then

The kisses that were there

And teaching me to say when

I remember all these things about you Dad

And even more that I haven't said

But one thing I don't think I have said enough

Is Dad you were the best

Now the time has flown by

And I can't tell you face to face

But I can always look up to the sky at you

And remember you in my prayer

And when I need you now and then

I will just call out your name

For even though you can't physically be with me

You are here in spirit just the same

For part of you is in me

And part of me is in you

And I know you will always watch over me now

No matter what I do

You are still here my Father

Your here in my heart

And you will always remain there

Because in there, we can never part!

I Used To Think-What Happened?

I used to think you knew me

I used to think you understood every part of me

But then you turned away, making me cry both night and day

And you would never turn back around and see

I used to think you loved me

I used to think you wanted to grow old with me

You wait until times are bad, then up comes the past for attack

And your heart no longer beats for me

The love doesn't shine in your eyes

You no longer want to see my eyes

You never did want to take my hand, or walk with me on the land

When was the last time we looked at the skies?

I know it's over for you

And it's just a convenience for you

But my heart still beats, and as long as I still breathe

I will only exist for you

Saying "I Love You" is such mechanical words

The feelings behind them are no longer heard

Where's the room to grow? something I have been told

But upon deaf ears this can't be heard

You let them come between you and me

Something you said would never be

What happened to our plans, the ones we had hand in hand?

What happened to the love from stars to sea?

Now you are gone and walked away

Love is still here for the day

You turn around and finally see, this love for you is from me

I will still be the one loving you till dying day

Grammy

When I came into this plane

You were in the room

You defied the doctors

And left them to assume

You held my hand at birth

You loved me as I grew

When i was ill at 7

My hospital stay was bettered by you

you taught me on farming

The love of nature can be

Picking, husking, breaking and shelling

Getting the apples and berries.

And though I remember

eating more than i saved

And you scolding me that

It wont be there for rainy day

I remember the times you took me swimming

And you sitting in the side

You didn't mind me spashing you

You took it all in stride

I remember the walks into "town"

And talking about all we could

The knowledge you shared with me

And love with all that should

I remember the times you worked

Cleaning the local movies

Eating day old popcorn

And running through the balcony

I remember the love you shared

Watching children during the day

The long hours playing on the east porch

And when they grew and went away

I remember the nights on the porch swing

Talking and swinging away

Pointing out the stars

And talking about the milky way

I remember the festivals at the square

And you and Grampy taking me

You taught me how to square dance

At that festivity

I remember the family reunions

All the people I didn't know

I remember you keeping my rabbit there

And the babies she would show

I remember Ole Tom

Who you loved so very dear

And how he came to the back door

and meowed so clear

I remember walking to Grammy Bonnie's house

It was about three blocks away

And tending to her gardens too

And the cellar were the fruits stayed

I remember the auction

And how your tears flowed

When your health was failing

As you watched things sold

I remember you moving to the city

And being close to all

Wanting the great grandkids now

And your scary falls

I remember your Irises

How tall they would bloom

I remember plants everywhere

And the trees planted and roots

I remember the look in your eyes

On that solemn day

When Grampy's passing

Took your heart astray

I remember you moving in with Mom

As age caught up with you

But your mind still being sharp

Talking daily sometimes two

I remember your shock and joy

When I surprised you with a treat

When you thought you would be home all day

With no one in the other seat

I remember the look in your eyes

When you went to the hospital out the door

The fear and anguish in them

The look that would bore

I remember when you moved into the home

And the times we would come to see

This beautiful old woman

Who is so much a part of me

And now you can't remember

And time I know is short

But with the ending of these memories told

I will still love you forever more!

To My Grammy, A wonderful woman

Who shared her heart with all

My Dreams

I sit here and wonder

If you really understand me

If you know my heart

If you understand I am not perfect

I am only human

Trying to reach my goals

To achieve the things I want & desire

To learn as much as I can know

What do you know of my hopes?

What do you know of my dreams?

What common goals do we share?

What makes me come apart at the seams?

So very little I know about you

Yet I know more than most would see

I listen so close to every word said

I have seen into what can be

Yet I have so many questions

Things I want to know

We know what's between us

We are not scared to show

What are your desires?

What are your dreams?

What are your life long goals?

I desire to find out these things

Some things I want to make clear

Before the pedastles get too high

I am a human woman

Mistakes I make by and by

But once a pure love

Has found it's way to me

With no fear or running

True I will be

I dream of the country

I dream of bountiful love

Of walking holding hands

Of Blessings from above

I dream of loving arms

Of cuddling at night

I dream of growing old with someone

Of loving in the morning light

I dream of walking through the woods

Of watching the sun rise

I dream of enjoying the scenery

Of waking to loving eyes

This is just part of my dreams

And the cost of them is high for par

For the ultimate cost of all these dreams

Is the price of your heart

Are you willing to pay the price?

You Had

You had a heart that was true
You had a love that was good to you
You had someone who remained true
You tossed it all, it was up to you

You had someone who tried to give
You had someone who wanted to live
You had someone who wanted your love
You tossed it all, when push came to shove

You had love shine in the eyes you saw
You had loving hands touching all
You had a heart faithfull and true
You left it all, then now it is blue

Now it is gone, what can you do?
She is no longer walking beside you
She turned away broken heart in hand
And now alone again you will stand

She offered you the world, you refused
She offered you her heart, you abused
She offered you her love, you turned it away
Now alone again, you stand today

I Am Thinking Of You

The night is closing in
The darkness consumes the sky
I look up to the stars
And wonder where you are tonight

I know the stars are shining brightly on you
Wherever you may be
I wonder if you ever look at the night sky
And think any thoughts about me

Do you look at the full moon
And know I am dancing around?
Do you ever think of me
When you are out driving around?

When there is someone in the way
And it keeps you from what you want to say
When you have loyalties pledged elsewhere
But things aren't the way you pray

And when you dream at night
Your dreams aren't always the same
Some of them are nightmares
Waking me up screaming to start the day

And I wonder what to do
How can I correct this mistake
Being in one place now
But heart in another place

So I remain within my self
Hiding in my shell
Living out this time
Till I can escape my living hell

And the yellings will continue
The beatings are still fresh in my mind
The fear tactics have worked on me
For I fear and watch behind

And one day I will run
I will hide from all who know
So no one will find me
Or my wounded soul

And when I am gone and away
When safety calls me there
I will send for you to join me
Where we can breath the air

So have patience my dear
The time will come soon
When I can call out your name
When I can run to you.

I am thinking of you.

My Sacrifice

5/29/02

Embracing the full moon's power
I look up to the sky
I close my eyes to the three surrounding me
My thoughts run on to why

No one listens to my words
No one understands
I am not more than the one
See me as the one I am

Some read more into me than I am
Others will not read my eyes at all
Simple and just wanting love
But unwilling to take a fall

Lock is rusted from tears, key is lost
No one allowed inside
Letting in always causes pain
Causing me to run and hide

My true feelings stay to me
To tell would surely cause me dismay
To get my heart trampled on again
That is not something I wish today

If I tell him he hurt me
By the words he says
To let him know he has even gotten to me
Is something I dread

If he looked into my eyes
My feelings show there that are true
Yet he shoves me away
Feelings he never knew

He doesn't know that staying away
Only makes me wonder why
When he doesn't contact me
For a long amount of time

Caught in circle of fire
Burning on every side
If I reach out to touch it
It will consume my life

The dragon flies above me
Saying "would it make you feel wanted
if he took the time,
you keep his eyes in your mind
Must you be haunted?"

The 4 corners surround me
The woods now loom ahead
The water falls down upon the earth
The wind blows my hair and dress

Still surrounded by fire
Wings emerge from my back
I fly to the clouds
Grounding is now a lack

I know that contact is futile
The game is the chase
Though the Goddess tells me
He is where, my heart to place

Then patience takes it toll
Return the feelings, he is afraid
He thinks I will cause him harm
He doesn't know what to say

Doesn't he understand?
Why doesn't he know?
I only want to love and be loved
That is the only distance it will go

I land on the shore in the sand
Meditate on my confusion and state
Only to have the Goddess come down
And tell me he is the one to take

So I beg of the four corners
To him, show me the way
Let him want me as I do him
Let him see the light of day

Yet when I am in his arms
I get the feeling of being shoved away
His kisses tell of want and desire
His eyes tell me of feelings that stay

So I am left in confusion
Which way do I go?
Is his internal conflict so strong
That his feelings he doesn't want to know?

He won't reply to my words
Yet so many things go unsaid
How do I make it clear between us?
What else is there left?

Hearing his voice gives me hope
Knowing I am in his thoughts
Happiness could surround my dreams
but all of this is lost...

No voice to calm my inner thoughts
No written words to settle my desires
No vision of him to take with me
All things thrown into the fire

I know what his eyes say
I know what his actions do
I know that I do the best I can
Now the rest is up to you......

I am sure there will be more to come, but these are the one I have to share right now.