OctoberWrest 1998 part two
Pastor Mark Brian v. Stunnin Steve:
Micheal Buttbuffer: Ladies and gentlemen, coming to the ring at this time from Van Couver, British Columbia Canada, weighing in at 230 lbs... Pastor Mark Brian!!!!!!
Mike Ixnay: Here he comes, the man who is trying to relieve the NEW of sin and disgrace.... Pastor Mark Brian!
Larry Nabisco: He brings to the ring nothing but his bible and a wish for peace.He's a man out to make a difference....
Mike Ixnay: Mark is in the ring and the lights are dimming to a spotlight focused on Mark Brian as he begins tonight's prayer....
PMB: May we have this moment of silence?
(the crowd silences)
PMB: Dear lord and father in heaven, tonight I pray for the soulds of one Stunnin Steve and one GRENDEL for they will step in the ring with myself, Pastor Mark Brian... I wish for you to watch over them and guide them through tonight's match from heaven because after I am done with those two disgraces to the sport of wrestling and menaces to society, they will be put to rest beside a man whose life they took not to long ago, Cowboy. Stunnin Steve, GRENDEL... in god's name, I pray that you survive my wrath... AMEN!
crowd: Amen...
(the lights go back up as "Voodoo Child" by Jimi Hendrix plays as Stunnin Steve is escorted to the ring by former NEW World Heavyweight Champion, GRENDEL)
Mike Ixnay: What about that prayer???
Larry Nabisco: And he's a man of peace?!?!?!? A man of GOD?!?!?!?!? He soulnded like he was going to go through Steve and Grendel like a Mac truck!!!!!!
Mike Ixnay: This one has been building up for several weeks now and I honestly think that tonight is the night for Mark Brian to shine!
(bell rings)
Mike Ixnay: well, the match has officially begun, but both Steve and Grendel are in the ring staring down Mark Brian! Mark is asking for the mic once again from Micheal Buttbuffer....
PMB: I would like to dedicate this match tonight in the memory of the deceased Cowboy who died at the hands of Stunnin Steve's and Grendel's wrath......
(the fans give a big pop to Mark Brian)
Mike Ixnay: How about that?!?!?!?!?
Larry Nabisco: That got Stunnin Steve's and Grendel's attention!!!
Mike Ixnay: Grendel is taunting Mark Brian, Mark Brian is darting toward him and Steve hails Mark from behind with an axehandle blow!!!! The ref is removing Grendel from the ring and Steve is forcing Mark into the corner with some forehead shots... Steve corners Mark and he's choking him out in the corner!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Mark is turning blue!!!!!
Mike Ixnay: Steve releases and..... HE'S KICKING HIM IN THE MIDSECTION IN THE CORNER!!!! Steve with an irish whip to the opposite corner and MARK REVERSES!!!! Mark sends Steve into the corner and BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX ON STEVE!!!! Mark is keeping Steve down with repeated clotheslines!!!! Mark is on fire!!!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Way to go Mark!!!!!
Mike Ixnay: Steve is staggered and Mark picks Steve up and has him in a scoops slam position.... Mark ties Steve to the tree of woe and MARK IS CHOKING OUT STEVE WITH HIS FOOT!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: The ref is pulling Mark off of Steve!!!!!
Mike Ixnay: What is this???? What is Grendel doing????
Larry Nabisco: He's loading Steve's boot with something!!!!
Mike Ixnay: The ref is calling Grendel off and Steve is untied out of the corner, Mark pulls Steve up and attempts an irish whip.... STEVE REVERSES!!!! STEVE WITH A WHIP AND HE CATCHES MARK WITH THE LOADED BOOT!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: The ring is filling up!!!!
Mike Ixnay: The fans are throwing crap at Steve!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: A full cup of beer just bounced off of Steve's bald scalp!!!!
Mike Ixnay: (laughing) Indeed it did! Steve is pulling Mark up and A FAT LADY WITH UGLY HAIR IS JUMPING THE GUARDRAIL!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Isn't it your wife????
Mike Ixnay: No, that's your mom....
Larry Nabisco: Hey!
Mike Ixnay: That fat broad jumped grendel from behind! She's running around the ring and Grendel is climbing the apron!
Larry Nabisco: The ref is trying to get Grendel off of the apron, and Stunnin sTeve with a Stunner on Mark Brian!!!! He pins, but no ref!!!!
Mike Ixnay: That ugly woman is one horrible dancer!!!!
Larry Nabisco: I'll agree!!!!
Mike Ixnay: She's pulling up Steve an IT'S A SWEENYSIZER ON STUNNIN STEVE!!!!
Larry Nabisco: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
Mike Ixnay: That move was made famous by former NEW superstar, Dan Sweeny!!!!
Larry Nabisco: That ugly hoe is stripping in the ring!!!!!!
Mike Ixnay: Go get you some Larry!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Gross!!! She may give me something Ajax won't take off!!!!
Mike Ixnay: She's PULLING HER HAIR OFF?!?!?!?!?
Larry Nabisco: (in his best Austin Powers voice) that's not a woman, that's a man baby!
Mike Ixnay: It's Dan Sweeny!!! He got past security and he's putting Mark on top of Steve and leaving the ring!!!! the ref turns around and sees the pin....1...2....3..... Mark Brian wins!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Grendel chases off Mark Brian as he makes his way throught eh crowd!!!!
Mike Ixnay: What a win for Mark Brian! Grendel is pulling Steve back to his feet..... I I guess he's going to have to carry him out!
Larry Nabisco: I think that's what he is doing!
Mike Ixnay: I've never seen anything like this before!!!! Fans, up next is a battleroyal for a shot at the NEW World Title!!!!!
(the fans cheer as Dutch daon approaches the runway entrance)
Dutch Daon: Fans of true metal! The metal is in the air, can you hear it?!?!?!?!?
(the crowd gives Dutch a mighty "HAIL!")
Mike Ixnay: What's going on here?!?!?!?!?
Dutch Daon: Since Poser Poloberg Kyle vanished on me and my band was in town, CEO Reaves and I arranged a special treat for you, the fans of the NEW because we're gonna rock the house tonight LIVE on Pay Per View!!!!
(the crowd gives a big pop to Dutch)
Dutch Daon: but first, why don't we go to a short commercial break so that the band can set up, then NEW will rock all night long!!!!
Mike Ixnay: Good idea! Fans, scrathc that, when we get back, we'll have Dutch and his band live on Pay Per View just before the battleraoyal!!!!
(commercial break for Trey Murray and Trent Raven hosted Mentos)

(The camera fades back in as Dutch Daon's Heavy Metal band, King Metal, arrives in the ring to begin the show. Ross "The Boss" seats himself behind a pipe organ off to one side the ring while Rhino arms himself with his bass opposite of Ross. Dr. Killdrums mans the drums, and Dutch Daon is standing in the center of the stage with his back towards the crowd.)
(Just as Ross begins playing a gloomy melody on the pipe organ, a group of about ten hooded monks start making their way to ringside, holding up signs saying things like "Heavy Metal is the Devil's Music", "Silence Dutch DEMON", and "Cover your ears to the sound of Satan". NEW security prevents the monks from entering the ring, but things get violent, and one of them gets by security!)
(The monk enters the ring, then, from under his robes, he pulls out a sword, and swipes at the unsuspecting Dutch Daon, severing his head. The lifeless body falls down to the mat. The monk then turns around and removes his hood, revealing his identity... it's Dutch Daon! Just then, pyros from the four corners of the ring flair up. Ross steps out from behind the organ and grabs two guitars, handing one to Dutch.)
(In almost a whisper of a voice, Dutch begins to sing...)
"We belong to the world, we belong to the wind. We are the spirit of the competition's end...."
(Both King Metal and NEW fans alike recognize the song. It's Dutch Daon's NEW theme music, "Number One" by ManOwaR. The crowd sings along...)
"Let the games begin. Hear the starting gun. Play from the heart this day. We will overcome. When the game is over and all the counting's done, We were born to win, Number One!"
(The song wraps up, and the band quickly goes right into the next song of the set, Tonight He Grins Again. Even those NEW fans who do not particularly care for heavy metal appreciate this moving song, featuring Daon's powerful vocals and The Boss's melodic guitar playing. The song ends, leaving the crowd in awe.)
(The silence is broken as Dutch Daon begins to announce the next song)
DD: Hail, Brothers of Metal!
(The crowd responds with a bold, mighty HAIL that resonates throughout the arena.)
DD: There's metal in the air tonight, can you hear it call?
(The crowd cheers loudly and wildly, answering the call.)
DD: Tonight, we're coming to you live from NEW...
(NEW fans erupt in cheers, voicing their opinions of the greatest wrestling organization on the planet.)
DD: I see everyone brough their lungs tonight, so we call all yell Louder Than Hell. That's good, because I'm going to need help from everyone for this next song here. Now some of you already know the routine, but for those of you who don't, it's real simple. When I hold the mic above my head like this...
(Dutch Daon holds the mic high into the air, holds it up there for a moment, then brings it back down.)
DD: ... I want you to all yell "Heavy Metal" as loud as you can.
(Dutch holds the mic up into the air, the crowd responding with a loud, hearty "HEAVY METAL!" Dutch begins singing, the band begins playing..)
DD: Heavy Metal Dazed!
Fans: HEAVY METAL!!
DD: Heavy Metal Dazed!
(And that brings the band right into their song, Heavy Metal. The whole crowd on hand gets into it, shouting HEAVY METAL at the top of their lungs at Dutch's signal. At the close of the song, the lights fade out completely.)
(As soon as it is pitch black, strobe lights start flashing and the band begins playing their next song, Hall of the Mountain King. At the sound of the opening riff, the headless body that once posed as Dutch Daon begins to move again. It stands up and runs around the ring with an insanity only fitting to the song.)
(As the song begins to wind down, the headless man finds and picks up his "head" and tosses it into the crowd. After that, pyros burst and the ring fills with smoke. When the smoke clears, the headless man is gone, and Dutch stands in the center of the ring, announcing the next song.)
DD: This next one is for my good friend, Cowboy. Some of you may like him, some of you may hate him. In the ring, you never really knew what to expect out of him. In the locker room, he was one cool guy. This one's for you, buddy. Rest In Peace, man.
(In a hush tone, accompanied by Ross's piano-playing, Dutch begins to sing the song, Courage.)
"Some like to say that hope is lost. See me stand alone. I can't do what others may want. So I'll have no home. So for now, wave goodbye. And keep your hands held high. Hear this song of courage long into the night. So for now, wave goodbye, and keep your hands held high. Hear this song of courage long into the night..."
(Then Ross and Daon grab their guitars, and the band cranks out a beautiful metal ballad of courage and loss. The chorus is repetitive, and NEW fans quickly pick it up and sing along. The stadium is lit by the dim, soft glow of thousands of hand-held lighters.)
(The song ends, leaving the arena silent. The silence is abbruptly and somewhat rudely interrupted by pyros as the band suddenly starts their last song for this evening, Battle Hymn. The song is a long hailed classic in the world of heavy metal, with its medieval sounding lyrics. As the band plays the song, images of horses and men-at-arms, combat and war show up on the large NEW monitors.)
(The song ends in a great video and audio spectacle, with much fighting on the monitors, pyros in the arena, and Ross and Daon whaling on their guitars. Killdrums adds to the effect, rattling his symbols while Rhino plays the bass with lightning speed. Once over, the lights go out to pitch black, Dutch's voice is heard yelling "Let the games begin!")
(The lights go back on, and the band has disappeared. King Metal's road crew comes down to the ring and begins clearing it, and packing away the equipment. Let the games begin.)

Battleroyal - Winner gets title shot later in the night:
("More Human Than The Human" by White Zombie plays as Stunnin Steve accompanies to the ring, the former NEW World Heavyweight Champion, GRENDEL)
Mike Ixnay: What's going on here?!?!?!?!?
(as they approach the ring, Steve does a corny announcement)
Stunnin Steve: Ladies and gentlemen, up next IS our main event live on OctoberWrest Pay Per View 1998! Coming to the ring at this time accompanied by the ICON of the NEW and the one and only GOD of wrestling, Stunnin Steve.... standing tall at 7 feet and weighing in at 285 lbs. here is the greatest World Heavyweight Champion of all time, the Goldberg of battleroyal going for 31 and 0, here is the kind of battleroyal himself... The Man Called GRENDEL!!!!
Mike Ixnay: I can't believe these guys....
Larry Nabisco: I don't know, they're kind of cool!
Mike Ixnay: Oh please....
GRENDEL: Let me speak on this!!!! Are you down with OPP?
crowd: Yeah, you know me!
GRENDEL: Are ya down with OPP?
crowd: Yeah, you know me!
GRENDEL: Who's better than GRENDEL at battleroyal???
crowd: Nobody!!!!
GRENDEL: That's what I thought!
("Ruthless Villain" by Eazy E blasts over the PA Stystem as Nathaniel Tesch approaches the ring with Mrs. Reaves behind him)
Mike Ixnay: Here comes Nathaniel Tesch and... WHAT THE HELL IS MRS. REAVES DOING WITH THAT PIECE OF GARGAGE???
Larry Nabisco: I don't know, but she's holding him pretty tight!
Mike Ixnay: He's in the ring......
Nathaniel Tesch: Hey, hey, hey..... CEO Reaves, I want you to meet the future Mrs. Nathaniel Tesch and the soon to be former Mrs. Reaves!
Mike Ixnay: What?!?!?!!??
Mrs. Reaves: Hey Steviekins! Don't worry about me! I'm in REAL good hands! And oh... by the way, Space Mountain WAS a wild ride and I had the time of my life! I wish you could have been there!
Nathaniel Tesch: Reaves, I took your woman, and tonight, I am going to take your belt back home with me to the FOWWW!!!!!
Mike Ixnay: What?!?!?!?!?!?
Larry Nabisco: He can't do that!!!! Can he???
(bell rings)
Mike Ixnay: The bell rings and Mrs. Reaves is out of the ring and Grendel jumps Nate from behind! Grendel is hammering away at Tesch and I can't believe my ears or my eyes!
Larry Nabisco: Well, differnt strokes fell different oakes, and she must have stroken them all!!!!!
(Mike slaps Larry)
Mike Ixnay: I appologize for the sexist remarks of one Larry Nabisco fans, he has absolutely no self respect and NATHANIEL TESCH TAKES GRENDEL DOWN WITH A TRIP AND HE'S BEATING HIM HORACE GRACIE STYLE!!!
Larry Nabisco: Yeah, but Grendel is covering up!
("Number One" by Man O War plays as dutch Daon approaches the ring with a mic and a pair of cuffs)
Mike Ixnay: And hare comes Dutch Daon and... why does he have the cuffs???
Larry Nabisco: I don't know... but he's standing in the ring near a cornerpost and away from the action.....
Dutch Daon: Brohters of true metal, the metal is in the air, can you hear it calling????
(the crowd responds with a mighty "HAIL!")
Dutch Daon: I am cuffing myself to the top roes until further notice....
Mike Ixnay: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Dutch Daon: I'd like to see soembody throw me out of the ring now!!!!
Larry Nabisco: This guy is crazy!!!!
Mike Ixnay: Maybe so, byut it's a smart move and Tesch has GRENDEL up..... he whips him to the far corner. Nate with an attempted clothesline into the corner and GRENDEL BLOCKS WITH A BIG BOOT TO TEH FACE!!!! GRENDEL counters with a clothesline of his own, GRENDEL pulls Tesch back up and CHOKESLAM ON TESCH!!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Who is that damn lunatic in the hospital gown??? Is it Crazy Joe?!?!?!?!?
Mike Ixnay: No, that's..... IT'S SCOTTY G!!!! HE ESCAPED FROM BELLVUE!!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Looks that way to me! And I've NEVER quite seen him show his ass like that before!
Mike Ixnay: Oh my, it's a full moon out tonight folks, and Scotty is on the apron arguing with the GRENDEL??? What is this all about?!?!?!?!?!?
Larry Nabisco: I don't know, but......
Mike Ixnay: Tesch clotheslines GRENDEL into Scotty!!!!! SCOTTY FELL OFF OF THE APRON!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Oh no, he's mad now!!!!
Mike Ixnay: He's back up and he's pulling himself back onto the apron and Nate is trying to muscle GRENDEL over the top rope..... SCOTTY HELPS PULL GRENDEL OVER THE TOP ROPE AND ON TO THE FLOOR!
Larry Nabisco: Ya know what this means?!?!?!?!?!?
Mike Ixnay: This mneans that GRENDEL has just lost his first battleroyal out of 31!!!!
Larry Nabisco: There's dissention between The Powers That Be and you can see it right now!
Mike Ixnay: They're arguing on the outside and GRENDEL JUST GOT NAILED ON THE OUTSIDE!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Wait, wait.... is that.....
Mike Ixnay: It's former NEW World Heavyweight champion, Brian Marcotte!!!!!! He's back n the NEW and he nailed GRENDEL from behind!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: And he's eyeballing Scotty G as he walks off..... what's going on here?!?!?!?!?
Mike Ixnay: Scotty is stripping his gown off and st4reaking through the crowd at ringside!!!!! Here comes security and Tesch is beating the snot out of Dutch in the corner, but Dutch is taking it laughing with a smile on his face!!!!! What a damn wierdo!
Larry Nabisco: Here comes Pastor Mark Brian with a bible!!!!
Mike Ixnay: Where did he come from???
Larry Nabisco: I think the crowd!!!!!
Mike Ixnay: Mark Brian nails Tesch from behind with the bible... man, that's some heavy reading!!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Dutch is taking the cuffs off and he nails Mark Brian with them. Dutch is working Mark over now and Tesch is back up.....
Mike Ixnay: Dutch is over to send Mark out of the ring and Tesch is over..... HE FLIPS DUTCH OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!!!
Larry Nabisco: Didn't Mark go over too????
Mike Ixnay: He's holding on with all his might and Tesch is kicking at Mark.....
Larry Nabisco: Dutch nails Mark from behind and Mark falls out onto the floor! Dutch and Mark are fighting it out on the floor!!!!!
Mike Ixnay: Oh no, did Nathaniel Tesch win?!?!?!?!?!?!?
(bell rings)
Micheal Buttbuffer: The winner and....
(Tesch grabs the mic from buttbuffer)
Nathaniel Tesch: And the NEXT NEW World Heavyweight Champion....... The Ruthless Villain..... Nathaniel Tesch!!!!!!
(the fans are booing)
Nathaniel Tesch: Grant, polish off the belt now, I'm taking it back home to the FOWWW tonight!!!!!