Wolves. Strange creatures aren't they. Big furry beasties on four legs, slandered in the past and persecuted. A big hit in myth and magic, they've got damned spooky eyes. Cleverer then most other creatures, and some humans probably, a pack of wolves can construct a suspension bridge across a ravine if given enough raw materials. They live in packs, families of wolves who work together to get food and raise young. A hardy animal which has survived human persecution and can adapt to and survive in some of the most extreme environments, wolves make marines look like ponces with guns. Wolves eat lots of things, mostly meat, although they can also to eat vegetables and fruit, and also digestive biscuits. As mentioned, wolves live in packs. The size of a pack can vary a lot, but is usually between 5-8 animals. The pack is led by an Alpha wolf which is often the best male hunter in the pack. There is an Alpha male and an Alpha female. The weakest wolf is the Omega wolf, and is a kind of punchbag for all the other wolves. The other wolves are Beta wolves. Alpha's are responsible for keeping the pack in line, and often assert their dominance over the other wolves. The Omega wolves are often bullied, and this has caused a lot of concern. Recently, a group of Omega wolves banded together and set up a refuge for battered wolves. The battered wolf refuge proved very popular, and soon it was overflowing with Omega wolves which had been forced to leave their packs through constant abuse. This highlighted the severe problem of bullying in wolf packs, although in the end, all the Omega wolves in the refuge ended up bullying each other instead. Scientists say it's in the genes. The strong discipline in packs is the reason why they work together so well, I mean, it wouldn't be any good if they all just buggered about doing whatever they liked, would it? Nothing would ever get done. Strange and interesting wolf FACTS: Most wolves are born with three legs. The other one is a wooden attachment simply use fo aesthetic reasons. When wolves can not find food through hunting, they sometimes survive by eating trees. A large wolf pack can cause considerable deforestation in areas where there is not much usual prey. Wolves like sports. They are naturally good at long distance running events and they also like to play Scrabble. Although paws are not very good for moving small bits of plastic around. Wolves can withstand nuclear blasts and have been known to try and provoke nuclear exchanges between countries just so that they will have more space for themselves. Small wolves are more likely to develop multiple personality disorders as they are often bullied causing a great deal of stress. On some occasions, wolves have been seen on their own and when questioned, believed themselves to be a whole pack. Therapy will soon be available. Wolves don't pay taxes, because tax men are scared of them. Wolves love to play practical jokes. One time, a wolf disguised itself as a sheep and joined a flock. When the shepherd examined the sheep, the wolf bit his legs off. They thought that was hilarious. Unusual, but true. If you add five wolves to five more wolves, you get eleven wolves. This extra wolf then mysteriously vanishes when the others are split up again. Wolves are suprisingly good at motor racing.
WOLF QUESTIONAIRE: To test your understanding of wolves. 1: You are on holiday in Nothern Canada, and while out walking you come across a lone wolf which you spot some distance away. Do you, a) Ignore the creature and let it be. Thinking yourself lucky that you have seen one of natures most magnificent wild predators. b) Scream in panic like a fool gibbering 'Wolf! Wolf!' c) Approach the creature with the idea that you may be able to communicate with it by offering some sort of gift from your rucksack. 2: The aforementioned wolf spots you, and being as it is, does a runner. Do you, a) Watch the wolf vanish into the distance thinking about what an exhilerating experience that was. b) Curl up on the floor crying until someone comes across you whereupon you tell them how you were savagely attacked by a giant wolf. c) Chase after it waving an empty thermos flask (your gift) and a packet of chocolate digestive biscuits. 3: Later on you see a group of hunters illegally stalking the wolf which has joined up with the rest of the pack. Do you, a) Tell the hunters that they are breaking the law and threaten to report them. b) Go up to the hunters and offer them your support, wishing them luck with the 'hunt'. c) Tell the hunters that they cannot shoot the wolves because you are with the military and you are keeping the wolves under observation because they are part of a secret project to create genetic 'super wolves', which never need to eat and can withstand the pressure of an Abrahams battle tank falling on their heads. Then tell them that they never saw anything and they should go home and take up a new hobby, such as synchronised knitting. 4: When the hunters have gone, you walk on only to find that when you look back, you see the wolf pack has followed you out of curiosity. Do you, a) Walk away slowly, and enjoy the rare moment as it happens. b) Freeze immediately, quaking in fear as you believe the wolves have returned in force to rip your limbs off. c) Offer them some chocolate digestives. 5: Eventually the wolves leave and you go back to your accomodation. You are in a bar and you are telling other holiday makers about what happened. a) explain what a good experience it was to see wolves in the wild. b) Complain that you were nearly killed by the vicious creatures, and that they should all be shot, whereupon the entire bar beat you up for being stupid. c) Tell everyone about how you made close contact between the wolves just by using a thermos flask and some chocolate biscuits. Then offer everyone the rest of your digestives. How did you score? Mostly a's. Well done, you are a well educated person with good common sense. Celebrate by going on holiday to Qubec. Mostly b's. You are a bit dense, and everyone hates you. Redeem yourself by spending the next three months learning about wolves. Mostly c's. You are either incredibly weird/stupid/old/whatever, go away. Chocolate digestives indeed.A Wolf Poem: They float at the edge of things, Between a walk and a run, Between light and dark, At the extremeity of the forest they linger, Invisible as shadows, for the wolf is as much a genius of stillness, as of movement. Another Wolf Poem: I am a wolf... I run through the forest... Because that's what wolves do... They run... A lot... Wolves like running you see... It makes them fit... And if they don't run... Then they get fat... And the other wolves laugh... Because a fat wolf cannot get food... So it dies... Which is very sad... But that's what happens to fat wolves... So be warned... I am a wolf... I run through the forest... I run vey fast... Because I am being chased... By a small deer... No! I am not scared of it!... I just don't want to waste energy eating it... Don't laugh!... Bastards... I run... Away from the deer... I hear it laughing as it chases me... So I turn around... And rip it's face off... See... I wasn't scared of it... I run.