"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle"
   -- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find  my
clothes."
  -- Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why
     he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker

"You guys line up alphabetically by height"
   -- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach

"I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't
seem  to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been  
through in school."
  -- Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a
     freshman because of academic requirements

"I know the Virginia players are smart because you need a 1500
SAT to get in. I have to drop bread crumbs to get our players to
and from class"
  -- George Raveling, Washington State basketball coach

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter?  He went to
prison for three years, not Princeton."
  -- Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again
      with promoter Don King

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went  to."
 -- Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon
    during his visit to Greece

"The ballparks have gotten too crowded. That's why nobody goes
to see the game anymore."
  -- Yogi Berra

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
  -- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh 

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a
guy like Norman Einstein."
 -- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann