It came 
one day 
passed through ears
and whispered lips...
it came one day
wrote in pencil
on notebook paper
that was worth more then gold....
the spoken word
more magic
then any magician
and this was no illusion...
It came one day
kicked the door down
and kidnapped
all remainders of innocence...
leaving the first clue in a long search....
_______________________________________________________

So flung now
out on a web
feeling alot like
a trapped insect...
only this bug
feels he belongs
waiting for his predetor
to take him away...
wanting
waiting
to be wrapped
in the embrace of silk...
_______________________________________________________

running
running so hard
the steam is blinding
from breath on a winters night....
in the distance
I see the light
as the snow flys
from around my feet...
In my hand
clutched tightly
is a plastic image
of real beutey...
to me
this is all of my life
to my heart
it is the only ache...
at the door
i shuffle like a child
bashful as sin
with my heart of tin...
she excepts
the plastic image
and for a reward
she smiles like a rainbow...
a hug goodbye
and i am back in the snow
when out of sight
i drop onto the white wet blanket....
In the snow i stare
up into the twinkleing eyes
thanking whoever above
for the warmth i feel inside this night....
_______________________________________________________

laying
the ceiling
smiling at me
while i stare through it...
out in the world tonight
on a hot summer night
out in the world tonight
she awaits a meeting of me...
though i know not who she is
yet
i know she is out there
and i want to fly....
the fan drones
hypnotising me
and i slip into a trance
of dreams... 
hand in hand
we walk through my youthful night
and i still
dont know who she is...
_______________________________________________________

it was so clear
all along
back then
waiting for you to say when...
It was so clear
through your pains
that i felt
without you knowing...
I waited by your side
for every emotion
that you poured out
i tried...
and cried...
till the fateful day
i caught that sunray
and you looked upon me
with the eyes of true love....
i wish now
you could see
while writing this
the tears i set free...
_______________________________________________________

so the day came
when the glitter
the fancy decorations
and flowers were before me...
I had found something good
out in decay
and slow death
of a disapearing town...
and what was found
glowed under the lights
and flashes
the dances and looks...
it was my future
on the night 
I opened doors
for radiance...
remanents of this night
are not bright
and in the light
not completely...
but the good 
heavily and
heavenly
would come to outwiegh the bad...
for time to permit...
_______________________________________________________

I remember
night of first
I spent with her
of myself strange and unsure...
in my awkward arms
she lay all night
i could not sleep
but it felt so right...
on the stage
of the singing birds
simple pleasures
filled my mind...
i knew
fate had been kind...
_______________________________________________________

you tell them
these friends
you tell them of me
and my pulse quickens...
I know now
somehow
that you chose this soul
to wrap in your own...
my childhood dreams
and crushes
had grown into 
a man and desire...
you yourself
saw to that
and
nothing less...
_______________________________________________________

Its so easy
to say love
to say lust
but this was so much more...
finding oneself a man
when it all 
seemed
like such a childs world...
sudenly it was another
when open eyes
found each day
and thoughts sought to rest...
another 
when eyes grew heavy
and searched for sleep
her soul to keep...
everything done
seemed so much more
worth while
so it got done with a smile...
a man who can smile
and show a gleam in his eyes
for he knows
that his day will not be wasted...
yes this was much more
then lust
then even love
it was possesion of the souls...
a time that cannot be forgotten...
_______________________________________________________

you touched them
absolved me of them
my scars
my anguish....
an angel you were
dispite
the suroundings
and the flaws that appeared...
my healer
savior of my soul
you wanted only the best
not the planned pains...
you wanted so much
and so did I
and at that time
the cards were still face down...
_______________________________________________________

on my morning glory
I rolled over
to awken you
with a sunlight kiss...
the smile
you showed
with eyes still closed
will always leave my heart exposed...
_______________________________________________________

we walked
hand in hand
through hazy 
dead summer festival...
the looks 
of old aquaintences
and the comments
of luck so good...
the stares of enemys
giving me space
peace
for the sake of her beutey...
it all made my head spin...
the sparkle of her eyes
reflecting off the lights
that night
made me want to hold her tight...
driving home
the end of summer
coming through the window
she laid her head upon my shoulder...
I had found a sanctuary
in her presence
I had found a reason
truly worth the end of my life...
_______________________________________________________

the smell
of your perfume
so enticing
as to drive me into tears...
the whispered words
of how you felt
and what you wanted
would set me on fire....
the actions
what you taught me
as a student
I never wanted another teacher...
you are the most vivid picture
in a fuzzy album of many pictures...
_______________________________________________________

you came like a dream...
you left without a scream...
it begins now
the story
the place where hollywood dies
and reality begins...


 

working along
one fine day
in my youth i still had
curiousity made everything bad...
Adventure in the night
the big city night
lured me
to the other side of the tracks...
in the dark world
of silents sales
and the tomb
of a hotel room...
that is where it really began...
the long blast
filling lungs
up to the mind
with numbness to caring...
that she was at home
that she might have been waiting
dissolved in the crackle
of a glass pipe...
ripping sounds
of our souls tearing apart
faintly could be heard
but i chose not to listen...
_______________________________________________________

guess it seemed
alot like betrayal
when the whispered words
grew loud and angry...
familys shoving 
a wedge
in an already 
over large gap...
she drifted away
to the west
and frustration poured
upon the letter
that should have been redemtion...
the one chance
at the time
was all that was given
who would have known...
after
more words followed
in attempts to heal
wounds inflicted...
but they were blocked
in the shiny black wedge
of a family
and an idea to care...
returning
on an early fall day
news given
turned to tears and blood...
It was the end
or so one would have thought...
_______________________________________________________

a new route
found its way
into 
every and any particular day...
work
brown bottles
clear bottles
deaf sleep choosing not to weep...
sounds like any
action 
that is easily defined
by a man in this position...
but looking back 
I know thats not true
looking back
at you...
complication
for the reckless side
tried to destroy
all that was left...
then you painted your way
back
into the sad painting
that was before the world...
_______________________________________________________

you layed your hand in mine
as i looked around
for my bottle of wine
this was not expected...
in the cold we held on
tight
for all that had came
and went before our eyes...
we barely spoke
until you told me
that you saw my attempts
late...to heal what was bleeding...
so it continued 
in hiding
we were lingering in limbo
while the rulers of fate made the decision...
we continued
lessons of each other
on secret roads
at secrets times...
but it seemed so urgent
to relay how we felt so fast
as i was to come to know
why...
in dillusion
fever bound
I lost
the only step i had taken forward...
the rulers ruled
so i was to be
alone 
again...
_______________________________________________________

the months went by
and this time
I could not
would not cry...
_______________________________________________________

festivals
in late spring
celebrations
for the end of education...
there
among boosed thoughts
and stoned resolve
was a hollow stare...
it was me in the mirror...
out of the night
came a friend
bareing messege
of a visitor for my soul...
before me
she appeared
a beutey the same
and i whispered her name...
I spoke much
she listened
I spoke of decisions
she gave me a week...
that night tears ripped my flesh...
_______________________________________________________

as time crawled
like a lame turtle
the bottle returned
for the decision i had to face...
as i woke
so many mornings
almost drowning
in the water from my eyes
the phone became a focus...
never
ever
ringing
every silent minute stinging...
so i set out on a quest
drinking the fire
until i was sick
with its poisons...
the answer still wasnt there...
today
years away
my destruction
became my construction...
the path was clearly outlined
though my vision was blurred
I followed it
and i still have not reached the end...
_______________________________________________________

These poems cannot even begin to express the story
they are telling. I can never feel that anything i write about
this will be good enough. my emotions are so strong
that my words cannot come to the aid of my mind fast
enough...or my heart for that matter..If you can 
understand that...well i guess thats the end of the story...
so far...Dedicated to K.S.  so close but so far away...

NIGHTPOET...



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to be used without permission...

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