Letters To A Pastor

**Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.

**Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson. Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix

**Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert, Page 11, Anderson

**Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven

**Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany

**Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Stephen. Age 8, Chicago

**Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland. Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma

**Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance. Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota

**Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to California tomorrow. Laurie. Age 10, New York City

**Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner. Love, Ellen, age 9. Athens

**Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh

**Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house. Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena

**Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God? Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville

**Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in my class. Carla. Age 10, Salina

**Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron

**Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers? Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston

1. Don't let worry kill you - Let the church help.

2. Thursday night--potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

5. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.

6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

7. Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

8. Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

9. Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

10. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

11. The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly, and the rest of the congregation will join in.

12. Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.

13. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.

14. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

15. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.

Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is

simply to serve as warning to others.

Ray's Law: You can't fall off the floor.

Paranoids are people too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.