note to readers:  starting this poem, I didn't realize 
I would go off on such a tangent.  I feel great about 
it though and I hope if YOU read this; I hope you see 
my point.  (I already know you won't)



I feel so much better
Without you in my life!
You were an emotional drain!
You were the one who caused all my pain!
You were a great friend
When you wanted to be.
I never really understood
Why you didn't want me.
I was so good to you
I was TOO good to you.
When will you realize
no one will ever treat you that way?
Good luck, my friend
to find what you need.  
I finally got over
all of my grief.
Even while looking
I could never see
what it was about you
I couldn't resist.
I thought it was funny
when you once said
you wanted to buff up
but not for me, 
for walking with me;
so your ego would rise
and women would want you
and wonder why it was
that a woman like me got a man like you.
And I sit and wonder
why a woman like me
can't help but pine
after a little boy like you.
Another thing funny 
was how you would say
"I know that you love me
with all of your heart."
I wouldn't go as far as to
say love's what I feel.
Maybe at a time I did.
Maybe I still do.
But my HATE for you
is so darn great.
I can't help but wonder
what you'll do with your life. 
All that I know
is I won't wait around
there's no reason to.
I'm not that crazy
to talk to myself
and tell me I hate you
and hope that you die
you're nothing but a waste of time
I wasted nine months.
As much as I hate you
I hate myself more
for letting you get me
all riled up.
For letting you get me
always upset.
For letting you get me
to let you get me.
I make sense again
now that you're gone.
You drove me to drink,
drove me to cheat.

Obviously I didn't love you if I cheated on you, 
What was I thinking?  We both wanted something 
new and now that's what we can have.  I am glad 
I didn't stay.  I'm glad I didn't move in with you.  
I would have driven myself mad.  I would have been 
crying more than you EVER saw me cry before.  I 
can't understand your need for nasty pitures and 
to talk to all these women who don't even like you 
other than the fact that they like to hear you on 
the phone and you like to hear them and there 
really never was that woman who called, I just 
figured you would do something about it instead 
of putting it off.  Figured that your love for me 
would be stronger than your need for all that other 
stuff.  I gave up my life for you.  *NOTE TO 
EVERYONE!! DON'T GIVE UP YOUR ANYTHING FOR ANYONE!*  
Do you realize how much better I feel now that you 
aren't the one I feel I need?  3-15-99