9-3-99
P.C.W. & H.W.A.
Friday Night
9-3-99
(The camera opens up overlooking the crowd. The arena erupts with loud music, and the fans cheer as the pyrotechnics detonate. The camera then zooms by Dracula, who is watching the event in the rafters. The camera then zooms in on the announcing booth.)
Bud: Welcome fans, to another live edition of P.C.W. and H.W.A. Friday Night Blood Bath. I am your host, Bud Wheiser, along with my co-hosts, Jack Danheils and Jim Been.
Jim: Thank you, Bud. And we are live from Reno, Nevada.
Jack: Fans, for those of you wondering, we have heard that Dracula and Satan have made a deal for the Middleweight Title Belt. If Dracula can bring the head of the wrestler named "Cricket" to Satan before our September Slaughter Pay Per View, Satan will hand over the title to Dracula, and Satan will also retire from the P.C.W. and the H.W.A.
Bud: However fans, Satan and Dracula also made another deal. With or without Cricket’s head, both men have also agreed upon a steel cage match for the Middleweight title, at the P.P.V.
Jim: Wow, with those two deals, things are going to get kind of bloody around here.
Jack: Yeah, so?
Bud: Speaking of blood, let’s go to the ring now to start things off with the lovely Blood Bath Babes.
(The Blood Bath Babes dance their way to the ring. Once there, they continue on their dance routine. Once they finished, the girls waved to the crowd, and return to the locker rooms.)
Jack: It’s moments like these that make me forget about my beer.
Bud: Huh? Did you say something Jack?
Jack: What?
Jim: Oh, come on you two. Knock it off.
Bud: Well, Jim. Someday you will understand certain things like that.
Jack: Personally, I can’t imagine that day happening, at least for Jim.
Bud: Neither can I. Fans, we take you to the ring now for our fist match of the evening.
Cricket vs. Random
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 185, a member of the Union, Random! (Crowd cheers!!!)
("Final Doom" plays as Random walks to the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 225 from Fresno, CA, Cricket! (Crowd cheers!!!)
("Make 'em Say Uhh" plays as Cricket enters the ring. Random strikes Cricket in the elbow. Cricket checks his boots. (Ding, ding, ding) Random takes Cricket down with a knee. Random stomps Cricket. Random rolls onto Cricket connecting with a knee. Random measures Cricket up and drops a closed fist. Cricket uses a belly-to-belly suplex. Random is down. Cricket applies a Boston crab to Random. PeeWee Anderson asks Random if he quits. ... ... Cricket breaks the hold. Cricket looks Random in the face and says Suck it. Cricket applies a Boston crab to Random. PeeWee Anderson asks Random if he quits. ... ... Random escapes. Cricket grabs Random and applies an arm wrench. Random takes Cricket off his feet with a short-arm clothesline.)
Jim Been: Cricket is fighting pretty well, for having a bounty out for his head.
Bud: Better him then me.
Jack: That ain’t no lie.
(Cricket stands up. Cricket tackles Random to the mat. Cricket is up again. Now Random standing. Random kicks Cricket in the head. Random covers Cricket hooking the leg. The ref. starts the count. (...1) Cricket escapes. Cricket climbs to his feet. Cricket drives a forearm into the head of Random. Cricket piledrives Random into the mat. Random stands up. Random tackles Cricket. Now Random standing. Cricket is back on his feet. Cricket delivers a kick to the head of Random. Random drives a forearm into the head of Cricket. Cricket connects with a flying knee. Random goes down. Random moves back to his feet. Random runs and tackles Cricket. Random punches him in the head. Cricket is back on his feet. Random punches Cricket in the head. Random drives a forearm into Cricket. Random delivers a kick to the head of Cricket. Random covers Cricket hooking the leg. The ref. starts the count. (...1) (...2) Cricket escapes.)
(Dracula laughs from the rafters.)
Jim: Um, that would make me nervous if I was the one that they are after.
Bud: Damn, Jim. You thought that out, didn’t you?
Jack: Who cares about Jim. I would like to know where the Intern Boy is with our beer?
(Cricket is up again. Random delivers a short-arm clothesline to Cricket. Random kicks Cricket on the mat. Random rolls onto Cricket connecting with a knee. Cricket gets up. Cricket executes a gut-wrench powerbomb on Random. Now Random standing. Cricket and Random go to the floor. PeeWee Anderson starts the count (.1) Cricket picks up a microphone cable and chokes Random with it. Cricket picks Random up and side slams him to the floor. Now Random standing. Cricket tackles and begins punching Random. Cricket and Random move back into the ring. Cricket fist drops Random on the mat. Cricket executes a piledriver on Random. Cricket executes the Side Star Brainbuster on Random. Cricket goes for a pin. Referee PeeWee Anderson makes the count. (...1) (...2).)
Jim: Wait! What’s Dracula doing!
(The arena lights go out as Dracula floats down to the ring, while under a red spotlight.)
Jack: Look’s like Dracula is going to make good on his deal with Satan!
(PeeWee Anderson calls for the bell.)
Harlie Davidson: The result of this match is a Double Disqualification!
(Dracula then choke slams PeeWee Anderson . Cricket breaks the pin with Random, and runs towards the other side of the ring. Random is now standing. Dracula grabs Random and gives him a Tombstone Piledriver. Dracula looks over at Cricket.)
Jim: Look! Here comes the Security Team!
Jack: Well, I guess the Security Team ran out of doughnuts, they’re actually doing something!
(The P.C.W./H.W.A. Security Team runs out to try to stop Dracula. Dracula looks at Samuel Adams and laughs. Dracula then walks over to Cricket.)
Bud: What in the hell is that?
(The arena suddenly fills with a blinding light!)
Jack: AGGH! I CAN’T SEE!
Jim: Neither can I!
(A voice then speaks over the sound system.)
Voice: WE ... Are Always Watching!
(The bright light then fades, as the arena lights return to normal. Everyone one rubs their own eyes from the blinding light. PeeWee Anderson, Random, and Cricket are nowhere to be found. Dracula looks around for Cricket. Displeased in not finding him, Dracula floats back up to the rafters.)
Jack: OK? Would somebody please explain to me just what in the hell just happened?
Bud: I wish I knew, so that I could tell you.
Jim: And where did Random, Cricket, and PeeWee Anderson go?
Bud: I have no idea on that either. Fans, please stay tuned as we take you to a commercial break.
(COMMERCIALS: "Want to see a Pro-Wrestling event live? Don't even think about American Express. Visa, it's where you want to be!" "Wheaties, Breakfast of champions. Get your Mick Foley Wheaties box today. Look for it in your Grocery Cereal Aisle." "Zeus 3.0 is the 1 E-Fed management system in the world. Only from Geeksoft!" "Hungry? Why wait? Snickers.")
Jim: Welcome back fans. For those of you that missed the first match, Random, Cricket, and the referee have all vanished in an intensely bright light!
Bud: Fans, our Security Team has begun looking for these three missing individuals. So far, nobody has seen them since then.
Jack: Who cares about searching for them, I would like to know where our beer is at?
Jim: Look! Here comes the Intern Boy now!
Intern Boy: Sorry that I’m late! I was bringing in the beer, and I ran into the Blood Bath Babes.
Jack: Yeah, that’s OK. I did that myself once or twice before.
Bud: Once or twice? That wasn’t what Gold told me? She said that you...
Jack: Hey, shut up, Bud! Here, have a beer! (Hands Bud a beer.)
Intern Boy: Oh, and Gold also told me to tell you that she’s looking forward to that dinner?
Bud: Jack?
Jack: It’s just a business dinner.
Intern Boy: That’s not what I heard.
Jack: Yeah, it’s a dinner, and it’s none of your damn business!
Jim: Uh, fans. Our next match is a debut match from a wrestler from the NeWA. We take you to the ring now at this time.
KC Hight vs. Jack Schitt
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, making his P.C.W./H.W.A. wrestling debut, weighing in at 275, from Pierre, South Dakota, KC Hight! (Crowd cheers!)
("The Beautiful People" by Marilyn Manson plays as KC Hight walks down the aisle.)
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 255, from New York, New York, a member of Jobbers R' Us, Jack Schitt! (Crowd boos!)
("The House That Jack Built" by Metallica plays as Jack Schitt enters the ring. KC Hight strikes Jack Schitt in the elbow. Jack Schitt checks out the ring. (Ding, ding, ding) KC Hight kicks Jack Schitt in the stomach. Jack Schitt gets up. Jack Schitt drives a forearm into KC Hight. KC Hight delivers a low blow to Jack Schitt. Jack Schitt executes a reverse DDT on KC Hight. Jack Schitt covers KC Hight hooking the leg. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count. (...1) (...2) KC Hight escapes.)
Jim Been: That was close! KC Hight almost lost his debut match.
Bud: KC has been in other NeWA feds before, Schitt just caught him off guard.
Jack: You mean that Jack Schitt actually has been training?
Jim: Well, he is in the same stable as my cousin Richie.
Bud: By the way, Jim, your cousin has a tag match tonight.
Jack: That’s going to good for a laugh.
Intern Boy: What’s the name of their tag team anyway?
Jim: It should be on the roster.
Bud: Here it is. Let’s see? They called themselves "The Amazing Dumbasses"?
Jack: Well, coming from Jim’s family, anything is possible.
Intern Boy: Well, you did say that it would be good for a laugh.
Jim: Yeah, but at least my cousin Richie is undefeated.
Bud: Whatever you say, Jim.
(KC Hight moves back to his feet. Jack Schitt tries for a vertical Suplex but KC Hight avoids it. Jack Schitt puts his arms around KC Hight. Jack Schitt has KC Hight in a Sleeper Hold! The referee is checking the situation. ... ... ... ... (AHHHH!) KC Hight escapes. Jack Schitt short-arm clotheslines KC Hight to the mat. KC Hight runs and tackles Jack Schitt. KC Hight punches him in the head. KC Hight fist drops Jack Schitt on the mat. Now KC Hight standing. Swinging Neck-Breaker from Jack Schitt takes KC Hight down. Jack Schitt gives KC Hight a crotch chop. Jack Schitt covers KC Hight. Earl Hebner counts the pin. (...1) (...2) KC Hight escapes.)
Jim Been: Jack Schitt almost won the match!
Jack: Jack Danheils needs more beer!
Bud: Don't worry. KC knows what he's doing. By the way, here you go! (Hands Jack another beer.)
Jack: Thanks! Any word yet on the search?
Bud: Not yet.
(KC Hight climbs to his feet. Jack Schitt puts KC Hight in a Sleeper Hold! Earl Hebner asks KC Hight if he quits. ... Jack Schitt tightens the hold. ... (AHHHH!) Jack Schitt breaks the hold. Jack Schitt sends KC Hight to ringside. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Jack Schitt piledrives KC Hight headfirst into the floor. "Jack Schitt sucks" chants start in the crowd. They fight into the aisle. (.2) Jack Schitt piledrives KC Hight into the floor. Jack Schitt kicks KC Hight on the floor. KC Hight clotheslines Jack Schitt. KC Hight drives a forearm into Jack Schitt. KC Hight applies a Boston crab to Jack Schitt. Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... Jack Schitt is fighting the hold. ... ... ... ... ... Jack Schitt is fighting the hold. ... ... ... Jack Schitt tries to escape. ... KC Hight tightens the hold. Jack Schitt escapes. Both men are standing. KC Hight sets Jack Schitt up for the Missouri River Drop! KC Hight covers Jack Schitt. Earl Hebner counts. (..1) (..2) (..3).)
Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, KC Hight!
Jim: That was a nice debut for KC Hight.
Jack: Sure, Jim. Whatever you say.
Bud: Fans, we have to take a commercial break now, please stay tuned for more Blood Bath Action!
(COMMERCIALS: "Want to see a Pro-Wrestling event live? Don't even think about American Express. Visa, it's where you want to be!" "Zeus 3.0 is the 1 E-Fed management system in the world. Only from Geeksoft!" "Pepsi. The Joy of Cola." "Wheaties, Breakfast of champions. Get your Mick Foley Wheaties box today. Look for it in your Grocery Cereal Aisle." "Spree. It's a kick in the mouth!")
(The camera opens up with the Blood Bath Babes doing a dance routine in the ring. They then finish their dance and return to the locker rooms. As the girls are leaving, Gold proceeds to wave at Jack Danheils.)
Bud: Out to dinner, huh?
Jack: Don’t worry about it.
Jim: Fans, the search for Cricket, Random, and PeeWee Anderson still continues, but we take you to the ring now for our next match.
The Terminator vs. Mark Happens
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 255, from Los Angeles, CA, a member of Jobbers R' Us, Mark Happens! (Crowd boos!!)
("The House That Jack Built" by Metallica plays as Mark Happens enters the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 275 from the future, The Terminator!
("T2 theme" plays as the Terminator walks down the aisle. Mark Happens grabs The Terminator's arm and strikes his elbow. The Terminator grabs Mark Happens's arm and strikes his elbow. (Ring, ring, ring) The Terminator tosses Mark Happens out of the ring. Earl Hebner starts the count. (..1) Terminator rolls out to the ringside. (...2) The Terminator fist drops Mark Happens. (...3) Mark Happens low blows The Terminator. The Terminator climbs to his feet. (.... 4) Mark Happens slaps the face of The Terminator. Mark Happens gets up. (.....5) Mark Happens and The Terminator continue to fight at ringside. Mark Happens and The Terminator move back into the ring. Mark Happens kicks The Terminator in the stomach.)
Jim: Mark sure is giving it to The Terminator.
Jack: Yeah, whatever.
Bud: What? No smart-ass comment?
Intern Boy: (Aside to Bud) I think he’s more concerned about Gold.
Bud: Wouldn’t be the first time.
(The Terminator gets back to his feet. The Terminator lifts Mark Happens and delivers a back breaker. The Terminator sends Mark Happens to ringside. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) The Terminator chokes Mark Happens. (..2) The Terminator gives Mark Happens a crotch chop. They head back into the ring. Mark Happens stomps The Terminator in the knee. The Terminator goes down. Mark Happens applies a figure four to The Terminator. Earl Hebner checks the hold. ..... Mark Happens tightens the hold. ......The Terminator tries to break the hold. ........Mark Happens tightens the hold. ......The Terminator breaks the hold. Now both men standing. The Terminator forearm smashes Mark Happens. Mark Happens now standing. The Terminator tackles Mark Happens, and punches his head.)
Jim: The Terminator is beating the shit out of Mark Happens.
Jack: What the Hell? Did you just cuss?
Jim: Just checking to see if you were still paying attention.
Bud: OK, Jim. You can put that queue card that I gave you away now.
Jack: Thanks a lot, Bud.
Bud: I thought it was funny.
Intern Boy: So did I.
Jack: Ah, I just have other things on my mind.
Bud: Like Gold?
Jack: Beer! (Grabs another can.)
Jim: The Terminator continues on the offensive.
(The Terminator picks up Mark Happens. The Terminator gives Mark Happens a gut-wrench powerbomb. The Terminator covers. (..1) (..2) Mark Happens kicks out. Mark Happens now standing. Mark Happens kicks The Terminator in the knee. Mark Happens gives The Terminator a DDT. Mark Happens covers. Earl Hebner counts. (..1) The Terminator escapes. The Terminator now standing. The Terminator sends Mark Happens to the ringside. The Terminator goes to the ringside. Earl Hebner starts the count. (..1) Mark Happens low blows The Terminator. (.2) Mark Happens tosses The Terminator into the ring apron. (...3) The Terminator now standing. The Terminator fist drops Mark Happens. (..4) Mark Happens enters the ring. The Terminator brings a chair to the ring. Earl Hebner warns him not to use it. Mark Happens shoves Earl Hebner into The Terminator. (ring, ring, ring!) Earl Hebner calls for the bell. Mark Happens was disqualified.)
Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, The Terminator!!!
Bud: (aside to Jack) Well, Jack. You’re going to be happy now.
Jack: Why’s that? They are bringing in more beer?
Bud: Nope, your woman is coming out to dance for us.
Jack: Hey, come on. I don’t talk about your love life on TV, do I?
Bud: Well, you could talk about Jim’s love life. Then you wouldn’t be talking at all!
Jack: I don’t doubt that.
Jim: If you two are done talking, then let’s go to the ring for the Blood Bath Babes!
(The Blood Bath Babes come dancing out of the locker room area. The girls do their dance number, then return to the locker rooms. On their way back, Gold waves at Jack, and Wild waves at the Intern Boy.)
Jack: So, intern boy. Something going on that we should know about?
Intern Boy: Let’s just say that there is about as much as you and Gold has.
Bud: Careful, boy. They don’t call her "Wild" for nothing.
Intern Boy: Yeah, I know!
Jim: OK? Fans, we have to take a commercial break now. But please stay tuned, as you will see my cousin Richie in his first tag-team match!
Jack: Oh, great, Jim. Just scare them away now.
Intern Boy: I don’t know. There are some chicks in the audience that like that phrase "Lick Me!" (Points to some girls in the crowd holding up signs that say "Lick Me!" on it.)
Bud: Some things you just don’t want to know. Fans, we will be right back.
(COMMERCIALS: "Wheaties, Breakfast of champions. Get your Mick Foley Wheaties box today. Look for it in your Grocery Cereal Aisle." "Dial 10 - 10 - 321 for all your long distance calls! It saves a bundle!" "Zeus 3.0 is the 1 E-Fed management system in the world. Only from Geeksoft!" "Burger King. When you have it your way, it just tastes better.")
Jim: And we are back fans. And now, with out any further ado, let’s go to the ring to watch my cousin Richie!
Jack: Jim, who cares about your cousin!
Jim: Didn’t you see those people holding up the signs about him?
Jack: Yeah, but do you mean that they are not related to you?
Bud: You mean to tell me that Dick Lick is actually getting fans?
Jim: Yes, he was busy giving out autographs earlier today.
Jack: OK? It’s hard to believe that a dumbass can get that much fan support.
Jim: That’s because he’s not an ordinary one, he’s an Amazing one!
Bud: Yeah. Sure, Jim. Uh, let’s just go to the ring now.
Knights of Death vs. The Amazing Dumbasses
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match tag match. On there way to the ring at this time, Knights of Death!!!
("Demonoid Phenomenon" by Rob Zombie plays as the Knights of Death come to the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And their opponents, the team of Amazing Dumbasses.
(The Amazing Dumbasses walk to the ring. Earl Hebner is the referee for this match. Warlok checks his boots. Mike Hunt checks his boots. (Ding, ding, ding) Warlok punches Mike Hunt repeatedly. Mike Hunt makes the tag to Dick Lick. Dick Lick climbs to his feet. Warlok takes a slap to the face from Dick Lick. Dick Lick delivers a short-arm clothesline to Warlok. Dick Lick goes for a pin. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count. (...1) (...2) Warlok escapes.)
Jim Been: See, my cousin Richie almost pinned Warlok!
Jack: Well, at least your cousin’s tag team is correctly named.
Jim: Yeah, aren’t they amazing!
Jack: I was referring to the "dumbasses"!
(Now Warlok standing. Dick Lick kicks Warlok in the stomach. Warlok tags in Fireball. Dick Lick kicks Fireball on the mat. Fireball makes the tag to Warlok. Dick Lick drives a forearm into the head of Warlok. Dick Lick tags Mike Hunt. Warlok body slams Mike Hunt. Warlok goes for a figure four. The referee is checking the situation. ... Warlok tightens the hold. ... Warlok tightens the hold. ... (AHHHH!) ... Warlok breaks the hold. Mike Hunt gets up. Mike Hunt tackles Warlok to the mat. Mike Hunt stands up. Warlok gets up. Warlok takes Mike Hunt off his feet with a short-arm clothesline. Warlok makes the tag to Fireball. Warlok kicks Mike Hunt on the mat. Fireball clotheslines Mike Hunt.)
Jim Been: Hey, they are double-teaming Mike Hunt.
Jack: They’re double-teaming your what?
Bud: (Laughs) Nevermind!
(Fireball moves back to his feet. Fireball grabs Mike Hunt and applies an arm wrench. Warlok tagged in by Fireball. Fireball rolls onto Mike Hunt connecting with a knee.)
Jim: Come on ref.! Do something!! Mike Hunt is being double-teamed!
Jack: (Laughs) Jim, you have no idea what you are saying, do you?
Jim: Yes, I do! They are double-teaming Mike Hunt!
Bud: (Continues to laugh) That’s what I thought.
(Fireball stomps Mike Hunt's head. Fireball covers Mike Hunt. Earl Hebner counts. (...1) (...2) Mike Hunt kicks out. Mike Hunt climbs to his feet. Warlok makes the tag to Fireball. Swinging Neck-Breaker from Mike Hunt takes Fireball down. Warlok tagged in by Fireball. Mike Hunt takes Warlok down with a knee. Mike Hunt fist drops Warlok on the mat. Mike Hunt climbs to his feet. Warlok tags in Fireball. Fireball is up again. Fireball drives a forearm into the head of Mike Hunt. Fireball takes Mike Hunt off his feet with a short-arm clothesline. Mike Hunt punches Fireball in the head. Mike Hunt tags Dick Lick. Mike Hunt tackles Fireball and pummels his head.)
Jim Been: That's strategy right there, Richie! Double Team Fireball.
Jack: Well, Jim, is that better then having them double team your hunt?
Jim: What about Mike Hunt?
Bud: I don’t know, Jim. Why don’t you tell us what’s wrong with it?
Jim: As far as I know, there is nothing wrong with Mike Hunt.
Jack: (Laughs) OK, Jim. Whatever you say.
(Mike Hunt forearm smashes Fireball. Fireball tags Warlok. Now Warlok standing. Warlok connects with a low blow. Dick Lick goes down. Dick Lick is back on his feet. Dick Lick low blows Warlok. Warlok is back on his feet. Dick Lick takes a slap to the face from Warlok. Warlok gets up. Dick Lick makes the tag to Mike Hunt. Dick Lick delivers a kick to the head of Warlok. Dick Lick executes a reverse DDT on Warlok. Dick Lick punches Warlok in the head. Warlok tackles and begins punching Dick Lick. Dick Lick stands up. Dick Lick tries for a Side Belly-to-Belly Suplex but Warlok avoids it. Swinging Neck-Breaker from Dick Lick takes Warlok down. Dick Lick chants start. Fireball tagged in by Warlok. Mike Hunt takes Fireball off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Fireball tags in Warlok. Mike Hunt rolls onto Warlok connecting with a knee. Warlok climbs to his feet. Mike Hunt tries for a Side slam but is not strong enough to lift Warlok.)
Jim: Come on, Mike, you can beat him!
Bud: Jim, what in the hell are you doing?
Jim: I’m just cheering for Mike Hunt.
Jack: (Laughs) Nevermind. I’ll just keep my mouth shut, so that the Feminists won’t get on my ass.
(Mike Hunt tries for a Standing Piledriver but Warlok avoids it. Mike Hunt tags in Dick Lick. Warlok drives a forearm into the head of Dick Lick. Warlok connects with a flying knee. Dick Lick goes down. Dick Lick brings in Mike Hunt for Amazing Dumbasses. Warlok slaps the face of Mike Hunt. Fireball tagged in by Warlok. Mike Hunt stomps Fireball. Fireball gets up. Mike Hunt tags in Dick Lick. Dick Lick runs and tackles Fireball. Dick Lick punches him in the head. Fireball makes the tag to Warlok. Warlok forearm smashes Dick Lick. Dick Lick tags Mike Hunt. Mike Hunt executes a belly-to-belly suplex on Warlok. Mike Hunt delivers a kick to the head of Warlok. Mike Hunt connects with a flying knee. Warlok goes down. Fireball tagged in by Warlok. Mike Hunt kicks Fireball on the mat. Mike Hunt measures Fireball up and drops a closed fist. Mike Hunt moves back to his feet. Mike Hunt rolls onto Fireball connecting with a knee. Fireball tags in Warlok. Warlok suplexes Mike Hunt. Fireball piledrives Mike Hunt. Warlok piledrives Mike Hunt.)
Jim Been: This is just awful! Mike Hunt is being double-teamed, again!
Bud: Jim, would you mind stop talking about your cousin’s tag team partner?
Jim: Why? What’s wrong with talking about Mike Hunt?
Jack: (Laughs.) Something in which you obviously can’t realize.
Jim: And what would that be?
Bud: (Laughs) Just forget about it.
Jim: Oh, OK.
(Mike Hunt measures Warlok up and drops a closed fist. Mike Hunt gets up. Mike Hunt knees Warlok and rolls back to his feet. Warlok gets up. Warlok brings in Fireball for Knights of Death. Now Fireball standing. Mike Hunt tries for a Back Breaker but is not strong enough to lift Fireball. Mike Hunt grabs his hand and flips him to the mat. "Mike Hunt" chants start in the crowd. Fireball gets back to his feet. Fireball delivers a spine buster to Mike Hunt. Mike Hunt climbs to his feet. Mike Hunt uses a closed fist on Fireball. Dick Lick tagged in by Mike Hunt. Fireball takes Dick Lick down with a knee. Dick Lick stands up. Dick Lick tries for a vertical Suplex but is not strong enough to lift Fireball. Mike Hunt tagged in by Dick Lick. Fireball delivers a kick to the head of Mike Hunt. Mike Hunt moves back to his feet. Mike Hunt runs and tackles Fireball. Mike Hunt punches him in the head. Fireball is up again. Fireball makes the tag to Warlok. Mike Hunt forearm smashes Warlok. Mike Hunt makes the tag to Dick Lick. Mike Hunt delivers a spine buster to Warlok. Mike Hunt lifts Warlok into a vertical suplex.)
Jim: Now Warlok is being double-teamed!
Jack: Damn, there’s a lot of double-teaming going on during this match.
Jim: I know! Didn’t you hear me earlier when I said that Mike Hunt was being double-teamed?
Bud: (Laughs) Yes, Jim, unfortunately we did hear you.
Jim: Then you know what I was saying then, don’t you?
Jack: Yeah, but apparently you don’t!
Jim: Huh?
Jack: (Laughs) Nevermind.
Bud: (Laughs) Let’s just go back to the match.
(Mike Hunt kicks Warlok in the head. Dick Lick tags Mike Hunt. Mike Hunt stomps Warlok's head. Warlok climbs to his feet. Mike Hunt goes for a Reverse DDT but Warlok dodges the attack. Mike Hunt brings in Dick Lick for Amazing Dumbasses. Dick Lick body slams Warlok. Warlok connects with a low blow. Dick Lick goes down. Dick Lick drives a forearm into Warlok. Warlok makes the tag to Fireball. Fireball takes a slap to the face from Dick Lick. Dick Lick climbs to his feet. Fireball brings in Warlok for Knights of Death. Dick Lick connects with a low blow. Warlok goes down. Warlok gets up. Warlok connects with a flying knee. Dick Lick goes down. Warlok fist drops Dick Lick on the mat. Warlok gets up. Dick Lick gets back to his feet. Warlok uses a belly-to-belly suplex. Dick Lick is down. Now Dick Lick standing. Warlok drags Dick Lick to the floor. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Warlok picks Dick Lick up and side slams him to the floor. Warlok stands up. They fight into the aisle. (..2) (...3) Warlok knees Dick Lick and rolls back to his feet. (.... 4) Warlok applies an arm wrench to Dick Lick.)
Jim Been: Come on, Richie! You can beat him!
Jack: Come on, Intern Boy! You can get me another beer!
Jim: Oh, I thought that you were cutting back?
Jack: Nope, just laughing my ass off too much to drink some.
Intern Boy: (Hands Jack a beer) Here you go!
Jim: What’s so funny?
Bud: (Aside to Jack and Intern Boy) If he only knew!
(Dick Lick climbs to his feet. (.....5) Dick Lick and Warlok move back to ringside. They head back into the ring. Dick Lick takes Warlok off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Dick Lick makes the tag to Mike Hunt. Dick Lick knees Warlok and rolls back to his feet. Dick Lick grabs Warlok and applies an arm wrench. Dick Lick fist drops Warlok on the mat. Dick Lick gets up. Mike Hunt tags in Dick Lick. Warlok punches Dick Lick repeatedly. Dick Lick tries for a Back Breaker but Warlok avoids it. Warlok piledrives Dick Lick into the mat. Warlok drags Dick Lick to the floor. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Dick Lick gets back to his feet. (..2) Dick Lick kicks Warlok in the back of the leg. Warlok moves back to his feet. Warlok lifts Dick Lick into the air. Holds him and drops him to the mat. Warlok kicks Dick Lick on the floor. They fight into the aisle. (...3) Warlok looks Dick Lick in the face and says Suck it. Warlok measures Dick Lick up and drops a closed fist. (....4) Warlok dives headfirst into Dick Lick. Warlok is up again. Warlok grabs his hand and flips him to the floor. (.....5) Warlok runs and tackles Dick Lick. Warlok punches him in the head. Warlok knees Dick Lick and rolls back to his feet. (......6) Warlok runs in and leg drops Dick Lick. Warlok applies an arm wrench to Dick Lick. (.......7) Warlok knees Dick Lick and rolls back to his feet. Warlok chokes Dick Lick with his boot. Dick Lick gets up. (........8) Warlok takes Dick Lick off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Dick Lick climbs to his feet. Dick Lick takes a slap to the face from Warlok. Now Warlok standing. Warlok goes to the ring. (.........9)(...........10).)
Harlie Davidson: The winners of this match, Knights of Death!!!
Jack: Damn. Well, Jim, it looks like your cousin lost.
Jim: Hey, that wasn’t fair! The Knights of Death cheated!
Bud: Oh, well.
Intern Boy: Look! Here comes the rest of the Demonic Empire!
(Molech, Spear, and Asherah come down to the ring, carrying some rope. They then enter the ring.)
Jim: Oh, No! What are they going to do to my cousin Richie?
Bud: Trust me, Jim. You don’t want to know!
(Molech gives Dick Lick the Sacrifice. Fireball gives Mike Hunt a powerbomb. Asherah hands Warlok and Spear some rope. The Samuel Adams and the P.C.W./H.W.A. Security Team runs to the ring.)
Jim: Come on, Sam! Get them away from my cousin!
(Warlok proceeds to tie up Mike Hunt, as Spear starts to tie up Dick Lick. Molech and Fireball run over, and start to attack the security team. Warlok and Spear finish tying up the Amazing Dumbasses. Warlok and Spear then drag their captives out of the ring.)
Jim: Come on, Sam! They’re getting away!
Intern Boy: Yeah, but where’s Satan and Abaddon?
Jim: Who cares? I worried about my cousin Richie!
(Warlok and Spear continue to drag the Amazing Dumbasses up the walkway, as Molech, Asherah, and Fireball fight off the Security team. Suddenly, the crowd begins to cheer!)
Jim: Look! It’s the Warrior’s Clan!
(Phoenix, The Avenging Angel, Revelation, and Archangel run down the walkway. Molech, Fireball, and Asherah run towards the Warrior’s Clan. Fireball locks it up with Revelation. Asherah tries to attack Phoenix, but the Avenging Angel attacks her first. Archangel runs after Warlok and Spear. Molech tackles Phoenix.)
Jim: I’m glad I’m not Warlok or Spear with Archangel after me!
Bud: Wait! What’s that!
(Abaddon and Satan run out from the locker rooms, and proceed to attack Archangel. Abaddon executes the Severed Head Supplex on Archangel. Satan then takes some chain, and hands some of it to Abaddon. Abaddon and Satan then proceed to tie up Archangel.)
Jim: No! They captured Archangel!
Bud: Archangel and Abaddon are scheduled to wrestle this evening, but it looks like Abaddon is taking an early start on it!
(Warlok and Spear toss the Amazing Dumbasses aside, and run towards Satan and Abaddon. Satan, Warlok, Abaddon, and Spear then proceed to drag Archangel back towards the locker rooms. Molech, Fireball, and Asherah, push the rest of the Warrior’s Clan aside, and run to rejoin the rest of the Demonic Empire.)
Jack: What in the hell?
Jim: You mean that they didn’t want my cousin Richie?
Bud: It looks like they just used your cousin as bait to get Archangel.
Jim: Well, at least Richie is all right.
Jack: But what does the Demonic Empire want with Archangel?
Bud: That I don’t know. But fans, please stay tuned as we have to go to a commercial break.
(COMMERCIALS: "Can't sleep because of a cold? Try Members Mark Ibuprofen nighttime. It's doctor recommended!!" "Zeus 3.0 is the 1 E-Fed management system in the world. Only from Geeksoft!" "Drink Budweiser! The choice of The Zeus Development team. Remember, Don't Drink and Drive!" "Wheaties, Breakfast of champions. Get your Mick Foley Wheaties box today. Look for it in your Grocery Cereal Aisle.")
Jack: Welcome back, fans, to the second hour of P.C.W./H.W.A. Friday Night Blood Bath!
Bud: Fans, if you missed the first hour, both Cricket and Random, along with the referee, have disappeared into a flash of light.
Jim: Also, fans, just before the break, Archangel fell captive to the Demonic Empire.
Jack: At this time, fans, we were supposed to give you an announcement by our Heavyweight Champion, the Grim Reaper. But due to a recent NeWA European Title Tournament, the Terminator and the Grim Reaper both had to leave to compete. We would like to wish them the best of luck.
Jim: And now, fans, we would like to take you to the ring for our next bout.
Jack: Good, now that we got all of the important stuff out of the way, pass out the beer!!!
Bud: Damn right!
Highway Warrior vs. Mr. Charisma
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 225, from Charisma Central, Mr. Charisma!!! (crowd boos!!)
("Highway Child" plays as Mr. Charisma enters the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 285, from Chicago, IL, a member of the NWO, Inc., Highway Warrior!!! (crowd cheers!!)
("Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks, & Cannibal Girls" by White Zombie plays as Highway Warrior enters the ring. Mr. Charisma checks out the aisle. Highway Warrior strikes Mr. Charisma in the elbow. (ding, ding, ding) Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Mr. Charisma delivers a kick to the head of Highway Warrior. Highway Warrior is up again. (..2) Highway Warrior kicks Mr. Charisma in the stomach. Mr. Charisma gets up. (...3) Mr. Charisma shoulder tackles Highway Warrior. (....4) Mr. Charisma runs and tackles Highway Warrior. Mr. Charisma punches him in the head. Highway Warrior gets up. Highway Warrior executes a neck-breaker on Mr. Charisma. (.....5) (......6) Highway Warrior and Mr. Charisma move back to ringside. Highway Warrior takes Mr. Charisma into the ring. Highway Warrior punches Mr. Charisma in the head. Mr. Charisma slaps the face of Highway Warrior. Mr. Charisma gets up. Highway Warrior shoulder tackles Mr. Charisma. Highway Warrior climbs to his feet. Highway Warrior measures Mr. Charisma up and drops a closed fist. Highway Warrior is up again. Mr. Charisma is back on his feet. Mr. Charisma hits the mat. Highway Warrior chants start.)
Jim Been: Mr. Charisma really felt that Side slam!
Jack: Damn, Highway Warrior sure is beating the shit out of Mr. Charisma.
Bud: Damn, and you’re drinking most of our beer! Pass some over my way, will you?
Intern Boy: (Hands Bud another beer.) Sure.
(Highway Warrior stands up. Mr. Charisma stands up. Highway Warrior and Mr. Charisma go to the floor. Earl Hebner starts the count. (.1) Highway Warrior executes a back breaker on Mr. Charisma. Mr. Charisma stands up. (..2) Highway Warrior reverse DDT's Mr. Charisma's head into the floor. Mr. Charisma stands up. Highway Warrior drives a forearm into the head of Mr. Charisma. Highway Warrior and Mr. Charisma move back into the ring. Mr. Charisma takes a slap to the face from Highway Warrior. Highway Warrior gets back to his feet. Highway Warrior connects with a flying knee. Mr. Charisma goes down. Highway Warrior goes for the Highway Slam. Highway Warrior covers Mr. Charisma. Earl Hebner counts. (..1) (..2) (..3).)
Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, Highway Warrior!!!
Bud: Damn, Highway Warrior dominated that match!
Jim: Mr. Charisma didn’t even stand a chance.
Jack: Yeah, who cares about Mr. Charisma, let’s see the Blood Bath Babes!
Bud: Oh, yeah, you’re right. The girls are scheduled to dance now.
Jack: That’s what I thought. And now, fans, we give you, The Blood Bath Babes!
(The girls’ music starts up as they begin to dance to the ring. Suddenly, their music stops, as the TV screen lights up.)
Jack: Hey, what in the hell?!
(The camera cuts back to the TV screen.)
(The Demonic Empire is in a locker room, which is set up like a gameshow.)
Warlok: Welcome fans, to another edition of, yep, you guessed it...
Fireball: The Demonic Escapades!
Warlok: Well, fans. This week, we here in the Demonic Empire, would like to bring you a game of "Yes and No".
Fireball: And now, let’s meet our contestants. First, we have the leader of the Demonic Empire, Satan!
(Satan takes a seat in one of the chairs.)
Satan: Can we hurry this up, gentlemen?
Warlok: OK? And now, for our second contestant, Molech!
(Molech takes a seat next to Satan.)
Fireball: And our last contestant, is none other than, Abaddon!
(Abaddon takes the last seat.)
Warlok: And now, let’s bring out the man for questioning, from the Warrior’s Clowns, Archangel.
(Spear tosses a still chained Archangel into the middle of the room.)
Fireball: And now, let’s get started. Abaddon, you may go first.
Abaddon: So, Archangel. What did you and your Warrior’s Clan do with Cricket and Random?
Archangel: We do not have them.
Warlok: Hmm? Survey SAYS!!
(Camera points to Asherah, who is holding on to a card that says "No" on it.)
Fireball: Ooh, sorry Archangel. That is incorrect. Spear, if you would.
(Spear proceeds to punch Archangel.)
Warlok: OK, Molech. It’s now your turn.
Molech: Now, Archangel, where’s Cricket and the rest of them at?
Archangel: I did not take them.
Fireball: Hmm? Warlok?
Warlok: Survey SAYS!!
(Asherah holds up the card that says "No" on it.)
Fireball: Spear?
(Spear proceeds to hit Archangel again.)
Fireball: OK, and now for Satan!
Satan: Archangel, you and I both know what happened. Who took them?
Archangel: I do not know.
Warlok: Survey SAYS!!
(Suddenly, there is a knock on the locker room door. The door then busts open as Revelation, Phoenix, and the Avenging Angel storm the room. Abaddon gets up to attack Revelation. The Avenging Angel runs over towards Archangel. Molech tries to stop her, but Phoenix hits Molech with one of the chairs. In the chaos, the video camera gets knocked over.)
(The camera goes black.)
(COMMERCIALS: "Zeus 3.0 is the 1 E-Fed management system in the world. Only from Geeksoft!" "Can't sleep because of a cold? Try Members Mark Ibuprofen nighttime. It's doctor recommended!!" "Dial 10 - 10 - 321 for all your long distance calls! It saves a bundle!!" "Want to see a Pro-Wrestling event live? Don't even think about American Express. Visa, it's where you want to be!")
Jim: Fans, we are back. And by the way it looks like, so is Archangel with the Warrior’s Clan.
Bud: Fans, we are running slightly behind schedule, so we take you to the ring for our next match.
Jack: Hey, wait a minute! The Blood Bath Babes came out to dance, and we are going to see them dance!
Intern Boy: We have been running over our time slot anyway, why not do it again this week.
Jack: Good point.
Jim: But what about the schedule?
Bud: Screw the schedule! Let’s see the Blood Bath Babes!
(The crowd cheers as the Blood Bath Babes return to the ring. The girls begin their dance once more, and then wave back to the crowd. As the Blood Bath Babes return to the locker rooms, they proceed to kiss Bud, Jack, and the Intern Boy. Ice then reluctantly hugs Jim Been, before leaving.)
Jim: She hugged me! Can you believe it! She actually hugged me!
Jack: Damn, Jim. Settle down!
Jim: But she hugged me! They never did that before!
Bud: I can see why. Fans, now before Jim gets too carried away, let’s go to the ring now for our next match!
Revelation & Phoenix vs. The gods
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match tag match. On their way to the ring at this time, Warrior's Clan!!! (Crowd cheers!)
("This Means War" by Petra plays as Revelation, Phoenix, The Avenging Angel, and Archangel enters the walkway. Archangel, now free of the chains, pulls out a broken camera, and drops it on the ground. They then walk their way down to the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And their opponents, the team of The gods.
("Primal Scream" by Motley Crue plays as Lim Po Po and La Plop enters the ring. Archangel and the Avenging Angel stand at ringside. Lim Po Po strikes Revelation in the elbow. Revelation grabs Lim Po Po's arm and strikes his elbow. (Ring, ring, ring) Lim Po Po punches Revelation repeatedly. Lim Po Po tags in La Plop. They lockup. La Plop sends Revelation to the corner of the ring. La Plop clotheslines Revelation. Lim Po Po flips Revelation to the mat. Lim Po Po delivers a short-arm clothesline to Revelation.)
Jim: Revelation isn’t doing so good so far.
Bud: Yeah, but you have to remember that this is also his return to the ring since before the summer break.
Jack: Ah, I know Rev. He’ll come around and kick their ass.
Jim: Are you sure about that?
Jack: As sure as I drinking this here beer. (Chugs a beer.)
Jim: That’s reassuring.
(Lim Po Po tagged in by La Plop. Lim Po Po measures Revelation up and drops a closed fist. Lim Po Po stands up. Now Revelation standing. Revelation delivers a kick to the head of Lim Po Po. Revelation grabs Lim Po Po and applies an arm wrench. Lim Po Po stands up. Revelation tackles and begins punching Lim Po Po. Revelation fist drops Lim Po Po on the mat. Revelation moves back to his feet. Lim Po Po lifts Revelation into a vertical suplex. Lim Po Po stands up. Lim Po Po runs in and leg drops Revelation. Lim Po Po sucks chants start in the crowd. Lim Po Po goes for a figure four. Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... ... Revelation is fighting the hold. ... Revelation is fighting the hold. ... Revelation tries to escape. Revelation escapes. Lim Po Po brings in La Plop for The gods. Lim Po Po rolls onto Revelation connecting with a knee. Lim Po Po gives Revelation a crotch chop. Revelation punches Lim Po Po repeatedly. Revelation takes Lim Po Po down with a knee. Lim Po Po gets back to his feet. Revelation brings in Phoenix for Warrior's Clan. Phoenix stomps La Plop. Phoenix measures La Plop up and drops a closed fist. La Plop stands up. Revelation tagged in by Phoenix. La Plop kicks Revelation in the back of the leg. Revelation gets back to his feet. La Plop tackles Revelation and pummels his head. La Plop tags Lim Po Po. Revelation clotheslines Lim Po Po. Revelation tags in Phoenix. Phoenix delivers a kick to the head of Lim Po Po. Lim Po Po executes a neck-breaker on Phoenix. Lim Po Po sucks chants start in the crowd. Phoenix brings in Revelation for Warrior's Clan. Lim Po Po tackles Revelation to the mat. Lim Po Po is up again. Revelation gets up. Revelation tackles Lim Po Po. Now Revelation standing. Lim Po Po connects with a low blow. Revelation goes down. Revelation is up again. Revelation low blows Lim Po Po. Revelation rolls onto Lim Po Po connecting with a knee. Lim Po Po side slams Revelation. Now Lim Po Po standing. Lim Po Po drags Revelation to the floor. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) (..2) Lim Po Po tackles and begins punching Revelation. Revelation stands up. (...3) Revelation short-arm clotheslines Lim Po Po to the floor. (....4) Revelation stomps Lim Po Po. Lim Po Po gets back to his feet. Revelation lifts Lim Po Po into a vertical suplex. Revelation is up again. (.....5) )
Jim: They better get back to the ring!
Jack: They better get me some more beer too!
((......6) Revelation takes Lim Po Po into the ring. Revelation stomps Lim Po Po's head. Lim Po Po makes the tag to La Plop. Lim Po Po suplexes Revelation. La Plop picks Revelation up and side slams him to the mat. Lim Po Po clotheslines Revelation. Revelation fist drops Lim Po Po on the mat. Revelation brings in Phoenix for Warrior's Clan. La Plop grabs Phoenix and applies an arm wrench. Phoenix tags Revelation. La Plop low blows Revelation. Revelation brings in Phoenix for Warrior's Clan. Phoenix gets up. Phoenix uses a closed fist on La Plop. Revelation tagged in by Phoenix. Now Revelation standing. Revelation slaps La Plop in the face. Now Revelation standing. La Plop executes a gut-wrench powerbomb on Revelation. Revelation tags in Phoenix. La Plop drives a forearm into Phoenix. Phoenix tags Revelation. Phoenix kicks La Plop in the back of the leg. Revelation punches La Plop repeatedly. Phoenix forearm smashes La Plop. Phoenix slaps the face of La Plop. La Plop connects with a flying knee. Phoenix goes down. Phoenix gets back to his feet. Phoenix tagged in by Revelation. Phoenix lifts La Plop and delivers a back breaker. La Plop tackles Phoenix to the mat. La Plop moves back to his feet. Phoenix stands up. Phoenix delivers a low blow to La Plop. Phoenix covers La Plop. Earl Hebner counts. (...1) (...2) La Plop kicks out.)
Jim Been: You just can't win this early in a match. Especially with an opponent like La Plop.
Jack: Damn, you’ve been training with him too, haven’t you?
Jim: Yep, I have been training with my cousin Richie, and Mike Hunt too.
Intern Boy: Here we go again!
Jack: Jim, shut up!
(La Plop is up again. Phoenix reverse DDT's La Plop's head into the mat. Now La Plop standing. Phoenix drags La Plop to the floor. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) La Plop lifts Phoenix into the air and delivers a spine buster. La Plop and Phoenix move back into the ring. Phoenix tags in Revelation. Revelation drives a forearm into the head of La Plop. Phoenix tagged in by Revelation. Phoenix runs and tackles La Plop. Phoenix punches him in the head. La Plop slaps Phoenix in the face. La Plop gets up. Phoenix tags in Revelation. Revelation punches La Plop in the head. Revelation piledrives La Plop head first into the mat. Phoenix lifts La Plop into a vertical suplex. Phoenix grabs his hand and flips him to the mat. Phoenix drags La Plop to the floor. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1))
Jim Been: I wish every match could be like this!
Bud: You sure about that?
Jack: Yeah, and I wish more valets would look like that Avenging Angel.
Intern Boy: Careful, you still got that dinner with Gold.
Jack: And you have Wild, so shut up!
((..2) Phoenix knees La Plop and rolls back to his feet. (...3) La Plop takes Phoenix off his feet with a short-arm clothesline (....4) La Plop fist drops Phoenix on the floor. (.....5) They head back into the ring. La Plop knees Phoenix and rolls back to his feet. La Plop tags in Lim Po Po. Revelation tackles and begins punching Lim Po Po. Revelation uses a closed fist on Lim Po Po. Revelation and Lim Po Po go to the floor They fight into the aisle. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Revelation body slams Lim Po Po. Revelation executes a piledriver on Lim Po Po. Lim Po Po is up again. (..2) Revelation low blows Lim Po Po. Lim Po Po climbs to his feet. Swinging Neck-Breaker from Revelation takes Lim Po Po down. (...3) Revelation rolls onto Lim Po Po connecting with a knee. Revelation tells Lim Po Po to suck it. (....4) Revelation applies an arm wrench to Lim Po Po. Revelation measures Lim Po Po up and drops a closed fist. Lim Po Po stands up. (.....5) Revelation tackles Lim Po Po. Revelation stands up. Revelation knees Lim Po Po and rolls back to his feet. (......6) Revelation chokes Lim Po Po. Revelation uses a belly-to-belly suplex. Lim Po Po is do! (.......7) Revelation kicks Lim Po Po on the floor. Revelation grabs Lim Po Po and applies an arm wrench. (........8) Both men enter the ring. Revelation and Phoenix set Lim Po Po up for the Battle’s End. Revelation gives La Plop the Silencer. Phoenix covers Lim Po Po. Revelation covers La Plop. Earl Hebner counts. (..1) (..2) (..3).)
Harlie Davidson: The winners of this match, Warrior's Clan!!!
Bud: Fans, we a running extremely low on time. We have to go now to a commercial break. Please stay tuned for our Lightweight title match when we return.
(COMMERCIALS: "Zeus 3.0 is the 1 E-Fed management system in the world. Only from Geeksoft!" "Wheaties, Breakfast of champions. Get your Mick Foley Wheaties box today. Look for it in your Grocery Cereal Aisle." "Can't sleep because of a cold? Try Members Mark Ibuprofen nighttime. It's doctor recommended!!" "Drink Budweiser! The choice of The Zeus Development team. Remember, Don't Drink and Drive!")
Jim: And we are back!
Bud: Fans, we would like to state that Cricket, Random, and PeeWee Anderson are still missing, and that our Security team is still looking for them.
Jim: Fans, once we have received further word on this situation, we will let you know.
Jack: Yeah, let’s go to the ring now, so that the office personal won’t get on our asses for wasting time!
Bud: Shit! You’re right! Fans, we go to the ring now for our Lightweight Title match!
Cleric vs. Youth Warrior
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match for the PCW & HWA Lightweight title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 215, from San Diego, Youth Warrior!!! (crowd cheers!!)
("Youth Warrior comes to the ring.")
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 210, from Edge of Magic, a member of NWO, Inc., Cleric!!! (Crowd cheers!)
("Walk on Water" by Ozzy Osbourne plays as Cleric and Maige walk to the ring. Youth Warrior grabs Cleric's arm and strikes his elbow. Cleric checks his boots. (ring, ring, ring) Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Youth Warrior uses a closed fist on Cleric. (..2) Cleric tackles Youth Warrior and pummels his head. (...3) Youth Warrior tackles Cleric to the floor. Youth Warrior is back on his feet. (....4) Youth Warrior grabs Cleric and applies an arm wrench. Cleric moves back to his feet. (.....5) Youth Warrior and Cleric move back to ringside. They fight into the aisle. Youth Warrior and Cleric move back to ringside. They head back into the ring. Youth Warrior kicks Cleric in the back of the leg. Cleric stands up. Youth Warrior drives a forearm into the head of Cleric. Youth Warrior tackles and begins punching Cleric. Cleric moves back to his feet. Cleric executes a back breaker on Youth Warrior. Cleric fist drops Youth Warrior on the mat. Cleric covers Youth Warrior. The ref. starts the count. (...1) (...2) Youth Warrior kicks out. Youth Warrior stands up. Youth Warrior delivers a short-arm clothesline to Cleric. Youth Warrior rolls onto Cleric connecting with a knee. Cleric stands up. Cleric slaps Youth Warrior in the face. Cleric gets up. Cleric delivers a low blow to Youth Warrior. Cleric delivers a short-arm clothesline to Youth Warrior. Cleric knees Youth Warrior and rolls back to his feet. Youth Warrior stands up. Cleric piledrives Youth Warrior. Cleric and Youth Warrior go to the floor Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Cleric picks up a chair and throws it at Youth Warrior. Youth Warrior stands up. (..2) Youth Warrior delivers a short-arm clothesline to Cleric. Cleric moves back to his feet. (...3) Cleric uses a closed fist on Youth Warrior. (....4) Cleric kicks Youth Warrior in the back of the leg. (.....5) Youth Warrior takes Cleric into the ring. Youth Warrior shoulder tackles Cleric. Youth Warrior gets up. Cleric gets up. Cleric drives a forearm into the head of Youth Warrior. Cleric kicks Youth Warrior in the head. Cleric covers Youth Warrior. Earl Hebner counts. (...1) Youth Warrior escapes. Youth Warrior gets up. Cleric connects with a flying knee. Youth Warrior goes down. Youth Warrior climbs to his feet. Youth Warrior goes for a Gut-Wrench Power Bomb but Cleric dodges the attack. Youth Warrior goes for a figure four. Referee Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... Cleric is fighting the hold. ... Cleric is fighting the hold. ... ... Youth Warrior breaks the hold. Youth Warrior drives a forearm into Cleric. Youth Warrior kicks Cleric in the back of the leg.)
Jim: Cleric takes a kick from Youth Warrior.
Jack: Jack Danheils takes a beer from the Intern Boy.
(Cleric is up again. Cleric short-arm clotheslines Youth Warrior to the mat. Cleric stomps Youth Warrior. Cleric applies an arm wrench to Youth Warrior. Cleric kicks Youth Warrior on the mat. Cleric rolls onto Youth Warrior connecting with a knee. Youth Warrior gets up. Cleric delivers a low blow to Youth Warrior. Cleric covers Youth Warrior. Earl Hebner counts the pin. ...1 Youth Warrior kicks out. Cleric forearm smashes Youth Warrior. Cleric kicks Youth Warrior in the head. Cleric covers Youth Warrior hooking the leg. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count. (...1) Youth Warrior escapes. Youth Warrior gets back to his feet. Youth Warrior hits the mat. Cleric gets back to his feet. Cleric drags Youth Warrior to the floor. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) (..2) Cleric measures Youth Warrior up and drops a closed fist. Cleric climbs to his feet. Youth Warrior stands up. (...3) Youth Warrior runs and tackles Cleric. Youth Warrior punches him in the head. Cleric gets up. (....4) Cleric kicks Youth Warrior in the back of the leg. (.....5) They head back into the ring. Youth Warrior punches Cleric in the head. Youth Warrior shoulder tackles Cleric. Youth Warrior climbs to his feet. Youth Warrior measures Cleric up and drops a closed fist. Youth Warrior gets up. Now Cleric standing. Youth Warrior goes for a Body Slam but Cleric dodges the attack. Youth Warrior goes for a figure four. Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... Cleric tries to escape. ... Cleric escapes. Youth Warrior goes for a Back Breaker but Cleric dodges the attack. Cleric reverse DDT's Youth Warrior's head into the mat. Cleric head butts Youth Warrior. Cleric stands up. Cleric executes a neck-breaker on Youth Warrior. Cleric gut-wrenches Youth Warrior. Cleric piledrives Youth Warrior into the mat. Cleric connects with the Twist of Magik. Youth Warrior tries to escape. . . . . . . . . . . .Cleric tightens the hold. . . . . . . . .Cleric tightens the hold. . . . . . . . . .Youth Warrior tries to escape. . . . . . .Youth Warrior taps out!)
Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, and still PCW & HWA Lightweight champion, Cleric!!!
Jack: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. So Cleric won. At least we got to see the lovely Maige.
Bud: Hey, you got Gold, remember?
Jack: And the Intern Boy has Wild, too!
Jim: Fans, please stay tuned for our main event, once we return from this commercial break.
(COMMERCIALS: "Can't sleep because of a cold? Try Members Mark Ibuprofen nighttime. It's doctor recommended!" "Zeus 3.0 is the 1 E-Fed management system in the world. Only from Geeksoft!" "Dial 10 - 10 - 321 for all your long distance calls! It saves a bundle!" "Drink Budweiser! The choice of The Zeus Development team. Remember, Don't Drink and Drive!")
Bud: Welcome back fans!
Jack: Our next match is between Archangel and Abaddon, but since these two have gotten into it earlier tonight, this match should be interesting.
Bud: True, and now, let’s go to the ring with Harlie Davidson!
Abaddon vs. Archangel
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 310, from Heaven’s Gates, a member of the Warrior’s Clan, Archangel!!! (crowd cheers!!)
("This Means War" by Petra plays as Archangel walks to the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 346, a member of the Demonic Empire accompanied by Asherah, Abaddon!!! (crowd cheers!!)
("March Of The UnDead" plays as Asherah and Abaddon walk down to the ring.)
Harlie: And now, for the thousands in attendance, for the millions around the world, LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!!
(Archangel checks out the ring. Abaddon grabs Archangel's arm and strikes his elbow. (ding, ding, ding) Archangel delivers a kick to the head of Abaddon. Archangel goes for a pin. Earl Hebner counts the pin. (...1) (...2) Abaddon kicks out. Archangel drives a forearm into the head of Abaddon. Archangel short-arm clotheslines Abaddon to the mat. Swinging Neck-Breaker from Abaddon takes Archangel down. Abaddon grabs Archangel and applies an arm wrench. Archangel gets back to his feet. Archangel tackles and begins punching Abaddon. Archangel takes Abaddon down with a knee. Abaddon punches Archangel in the head.)
Jim Been: Abaddon with a punch!
Jack: Jack Danheils with a beer!
(Abaddon low blows Archangel. Archangel punches Abaddon in the head. Archangel uses a belly-to-belly suplex. Abaddon is down. Archangel covers Abaddon hooking the leg. The ref. starts the count. (...1) (...2) Abaddon kicks out. Abaddon gets back to his feet. Abaddon piledrives Archangel. Abaddon chants start. They lockup. Abaddon sends Archangel to the corner of the ring. Abaddon stomps Archangel's head. Archangel gets back to his feet. Archangel tackles Abaddon to the mat. Abaddon stands up. Abaddon takes Archangel off his feet with a short-arm clothesline. Now Archangel standing. Abaddon takes Archangel down with a knee. Archangel uses a closed fist on Abaddon. Abaddon runs and tackles Archangel. Abaddon punches him in the head. Archangel is up again. Abaddon kicks Archangel in the head. Now Archangel standing. Archangel goes for a Side slam but Abaddon dodges the attack. Archangel executes a reverse DDT on Abaddon. Archangel knees Abaddon and rolls back to his feet. Archangel measures Abaddon up and drops a closed fist. Abaddon is up again. Abaddon drives a forearm into the head of Archangel. Archangel delivers a short-arm clothesline to Abaddon. Archangel flips Abaddon to the mat. Archangel chants start. Archangel drags Abaddon to the floor. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Archangel runs in and leg drops Abaddon. Archangel chants start.
Jim Been: This is a good match!
Intern Boy: But, Look! Here comes the rest of the Demonic Empire!
(The Demonic Empire runs down to the ring.)
Bud: And the Warrior’s Clan as well!
(The Warrior’s Clan runs down to the ring.)
Jack: Now, this is going to get interesting!
(Earl Hebner calls for the bell. (Ding, ding, ding.).)
Harlie Davidson: The result of this match is a double disqualification!!!
(Molech and Revelation lock it up. Warlok charges at Archangel. Archangel flips Warlok into Abaddon. Molech tosses Revelation into the guardrail. Molech and Fireball now double-teaming Revelation. Spear tackles Phoenix. Spear punches Phoenix in the head. The Avenging Angel pulls Spear off of Phoenix. Asherah tackles the Avenging Angel. Asherah slaps the Avenging Angel in the face. Phoenix gives Spear the Stunner. Phoenix pulls Asherah off of the Avenging Angel. Satan low blows Phoenix.)
Jim: The ring is in complete chaos!
Bud: Wait! What’s that in the walkway!
(Another extensively bright light shines throughout the arena.)
Jack: Aggh!
Jim: Not again!
(The light dims, and the Warrior’s Clan and the Demonic Empire stop fighting, only to look at the walkway entrance. There, at the entranceway, stands Cricket, Random, PeeWee Anderson, and a woman, who is wearing a white robe similar to Archangel’s.)
Bud: What in the...?
(Cricket, Random, and PeeWee Anderson then fall down to the ground, void of all energy. The woman still stands, but is now looking at the ring.)
Woman: We...are always...there!
(The camera ends.)