MARCH MAYHEM!!

(The camera opens up with Abaddon and Molech attacking the Road Warriors in the locker room. Revelation, Phoenix, and Archangel come in to safe the Road Warriors as the Daemons of the Night leave.)

(The camera then zooms around the arena, before focusing in on the announcing booth.)

Jim: Welcome fans, to the P.C.W.'s March Mayhem, Pay Per View extravaganza.
Bud: And we are live from Panama City, Florida, at the Civic Center.
Jack: Along with everyone here on Spring Break, let's see the Blood Bath Babes!
(The crowd goes wild as the girls come out to do a seductive dance routine. Some of the girls give kisses to some of the crowd and to Jack and Bud before returning to the locker room).
Bud: OK, let's go the ring for our first match.
Jim: Hey, how come I didn't get a kiss?
Jack: Probably because you're a dumb-ass.

Beavis vs. Rey Misterio Jr.
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 125 lbs. from Highland, Texas, a member of Jobbers R' Us, Beavis!!! (crowd cheers)

("Two Cool Guys" by Isaac Hayes plays in the background as Beavis enters the ring.)

Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 215 from San Diego, California, Rey Misterio Jr.!!! (crowd cheers)

(Rey Misterio Jr. walks to the ring. Earl Hebner is the referee for this contest. Beavis strikes Rey Misterio Jr. in the elbow. Rey Misterio Jr. checks his boots. (ding, ding, ding) Beavis runs and tackles Rey Misterio Jr. Beavis punches him in the head. Rey Misterio Jr. is up again. Rey Misterio Jr. takes Beavis off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Beavis is up again. Beavis uses a closed fist on Rey Misterio Jr. Beavis short-arm clotheslines Rey Misterio Jr. to the mat. Beavis rolls onto Rey Misterio Jr. connecting with a knee. Beavis measures Rey Misterio Jr. up and drops a closed fist. Beavis gets up. Beavis applies an arm wrench to Rey Misterio Jr. Rey Misterio Jr. stands up. Rey Misterio Jr. reverse DDT's Beavis's head into the mat. Beavis climbs to his feet. Beavis low blows Rey Misterio Jr. Beavis kicks Rey Misterio Jr. on the mat. Beavis grabs Rey Misterio Jr. and applies an arm wrench.)

Jim: Beavis with a Arm wrench.
Bud: Bud Wheiser with a beer.
Jack: Jack Danheils with a moron. (points at Jim)

(Beavis knees Rey Misterio Jr. and rolls back to his feet. Beavis goes for a pin. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count. ...1 ...2 Rey Misterio Jr. kicks out. Now Rey Misterio Jr. standing. Rey Misterio Jr. flips Beavis to the mat. Rey Misterio Jr. and Beavis go to the floor Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) (..2) Rey Misterio Jr. fist drops Beavis on the floor. Rey Misterio Jr. moves back to his feet. (...3) Rey Misterio Jr. grabs Beavis and applies an arm wrench. Beavis stands up. (....4) Rey Misterio Jr. kicks Beavis in the back of the leg. (.....5) Rey Misterio Jr. and Beavis move back into the ring. Rey Misterio Jr. stomps Beavis's head. Rey Misterio Jr. knees Beavis and rolls back to his feet. Rey Misterio Jr. covers Beavis. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count. ...1 ...2 Beavis escapes. Rey Misterio Jr. forearm smashes Beavis. Rey Misterio Jr. runs and tackles Beavis. Rey Misterio Jr. punches him in the head. Now Beavis standing. Rey Misterio Jr. goes for a Gut-Wrench Power Bomb but Beavis dodges the attack. Rey Misterio Jr. applies a Boston crab to Beavis. The referee is checking the situation. ... Beavis tries to escape. ... ... Rey Misterio Jr. tightens the hold. Beavis escapes.)

Jim: Rey Misterio Jr. almost won the match!
Jack: Bud Wheiser almost won the beer drinking contest that happened only two hours ago.
Bud: Damn college kids. I still say I had the handicap.
Jim: Sure you did.

(Rey Misterio Jr. punches Beavis in the head. Beavis delivers a kick to the head of Rey Misterio Jr. Rey Misterio Jr. gets back to his feet. Rey Misterio Jr. tackles Beavis. Rey Misterio Jr. moves back to his feet. Rey Misterio Jr. applies an arm wrench to Beavis. Rey Misterio Jr. covers Beavis. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count. ...1 ...2 Beavis kicks out.)

Jim: Rey Misterio Jr. should have known he would not win the match with that.
Jack: Damn you're smart.
Bud: Damn I'm drunk.
Jim: You should try that Odule's stuff. That's really good!
Jack & Bud: Shut the Hell up!

(Beavis stands up. Beavis tries for a Side Belly-to-Belly Suplex but Rey Misterio Jr. avoids it. Rey Misterio Jr. executes a back breaker on Beavis. Beavis climbs to his feet. Rey Misterio Jr. runs and tackles Beavis. Rey Misterio Jr. punches him in the head. Beavis gets up. Rey Misterio Jr. piledrives Beavis head first into the mat. Rey Misterio Jr. leg drops the throat of Beavis. Rey Misterio Jr. fist drops Beavis on the mat. Now Beavis standing. Rey Misterio Jr. grabs Beavis's head and connects with a Huracarana. Rey Misterio Jr. covers Beavis hooking the leg. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3)

Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, Rey Misterio Jr.!!!

Jack Dahneils: Fans lets take you to the stage for the lovely Blood Bath Babes!
(The Blood Bath Babes come out and do a dance routine. Jim Been try to kiss one of them, only to get slapped.)
Jim: Ouch. Why did she do that for?
Jack: Because if she didn't, I would of.
Bud: Let's go the freaking ring, while I try to sober up. (Looks at a picture of Linda Tripp.) Hmm, getting there.

Butthead vs. Kaptain Kool
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 280 from Memphis, TN, Kaptain Kool!!! (crowd cheers)

("Tear Da Club Up" play in the background.)

Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 155 from Highland, Texas a member of Jobbers R' Us, Butthead!!! (crowd boos)

("Two Cool Guys" by Iassac Hayes plays in the background as Butthead enters the ring. Kaptain Kool grabs Butthead's arm and strikes his elbow. Butthead checks out the ring. (ring, ring, ring) Kaptain Kool forearm smashes Butthead. Butthead takes Kaptain Kool down with a knee. Butthead fist drops Kaptain Kool on the mat. Now Kaptain Kool standing. Kaptain Kool tackles Butthead and pummels his head. Butthead stands up. Butthead tackles Kaptain Kool and pummels his head. Now Kaptain Kool standing. Kaptain Kool lifts Butthead up and drops him on the mat. Kaptain Kool chants start. Butthead climbs to his feet. Kaptain Kool and Butthead go to the floor Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) (..2) Kaptain Kool short-arm clotheslines Butthead to the floor. Butthead climbs to his feet. (...3) Butthead tackles Kaptain Kool. Butthead gets up. Kaptain Kool gets back to his feet. (....4) Butthead forearm smashes Kaptain Kool. (.....5) Butthead takes Kaptain Kool into the ring. Butthead uses a closed fist on Kaptain Kool. Butthead short-arm clotheslines Kaptain Kool to the mat. Butthead kicks Kaptain Kool in the head. Kaptain Kool climbs to his feet. Kaptain Kool lifts Butthead into the air and delivers a spine buster. Kaptain Kool puts Butthead in a reverse chin lock. Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... ... Kaptain Kool tightens the hold. Butthead escapes. Kaptain Kool drags Butthead to the floor.)

Jim: Butthead is much safer at ringside. Kaptain Kool can't get a pin there.
Jack: Why? Are you related to him? You both have the same name: "Butthead".

(Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) (..2) Kaptain Kool knees Butthead and rolls back to his feet. Butthead is up again. (...3) Butthead takes Kaptain Kool off his feet with a short-arm clothesline. Now Kaptain Kool standing. (....4) Kaptain Kool shoulder tackles Butthead. Kaptain Kool stands up. (.....5) They head back into the ring. Kaptain Kool kicks Butthead in the stomach. Kaptain Kool measures Butthead up and drops a closed fist. Kaptain Kool gets up. Kaptain Kool grabs Butthead and applies an arm wrench. Butthead gets back to his feet. Butthead tries for a Back Breaker but is not strong enough to lift Kaptain Kool. Butthead tries for a Standing Piledriver but is not strong enough to lift Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool lifts Butthead into the air. Holds him and drops him to the mat. Kaptain Kool stands up. Kaptain Kool rolls onto Butthead connecting with a knee. Kaptain Kool fist drops Butthead on the mat. Kaptain Kool moves back to his feet. Butthead stands up. Kaptain Kool takes Butthead down with a knee. Butthead is back on his feet. Kaptain Kool flips Butthead to the mat.)

Jim: Kaptain Kool is doing quite well at this point in the match.
Bud: Bud Wheiser is doing well in sobering up too. (Looks at a picture of Janet Reno).
Jack: Damn it, Bud. Put those pictures away they're starting to make me sick. Where did you get them at anyway?
Bud: From Jim. They're his heartthrobs.
Jim: There's nothing wrong with them. They're both two popular women.
Bud: Now, I'M starting to get sick.

(Butthead gets up. Butthead tackles Kaptain Kool and pummels his head. Butthead stomps Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool moves back to his feet. Kaptain Kool slaps Butthead in the face. Kaptain Kool gets back to his feet. Kaptain Kool executes a back breaker on Butthead. Butthead moves back to his feet. Kaptain Kool kicks Butthead in the back of the leg. Kaptain Kool chokes Butthead. Kaptain Kool executes the Kool Quake on Butthead. Kaptain Kool covers Butthead. Earl Hebner counts the pin. ...1 ...2 ...3)

Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, Kaptain Kool!!!
Jack: Ok, fans. Our next match is a debut match for our newest P.C.W. tag-team, The Wicked Warlocks.

The gods vs. Wicked Warlocks
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match tag match. On there way to the ring at this time, The gods!!!

("Primal Scream" by Motley Crue plays as Lim Po Po and La Plop enter the ring.)

Harlie Davidson: And their opponents, the team of Wicked Warlocks.

("Brood's theme music" plays. Lim Po Po grabs PoCoLoCo's arm and strikes his elbow. PoCoLoCo checks out the ring. (ding, ding, ding) Lim Po Po clotheslines PoCoLoCo. PoCoLoCo punches Lim Po Po in the head. PoCoLoCo tags Miguel Blood. Miguel Blood gets back to his feet. Miguel Blood low blows Lim Po Po. Lim Po Po gets back to his feet. Lim Po Po executes a belly-to-belly suplex on Miguel Blood. Lim Po Po applies a Boston crab to Miguel Blood. Earl Hebner asks Miguel Blood if he quits. ... Miguel Blood is fighting the hold. ... (AHHHH!) ... (AHHHH!) Miguel Blood escapes. Lim Po Po and Miguel Blood go to the floor Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Lim Po Po picks up a blade and cuts Miguel Blood. Miguel Blood is bleeding. Lim Po Po piledrives Miguel Blood into the floor. Lim Po Po sucks chants start in the crowd.)

Jim: That Piledriver was very good.
Jack: That slut was pretty good.
Jim: What?
Jack: Nevermind.

(They fight into the aisle. (..2) Lim Po Po picks up a microphone cable and chokes Miguel Blood with it. Lim Po Po goes for a Leg Drop but Miguel Blood dodges the attack. Lim Po Po and Miguel Blood move back to ringside. (...3) Lim Po Po picks up a microphone cable and chokes Miguel Blood with it. Crotch chop from Lim Po Po. They head back into the ring. Lim Po Po goes for a Suck it but Miguel Blood dodges the attack. Lim Po Po puts his hand in the mouth of Miguel Blood. Lim Po Po has Miguel Blood in the Mandible claw! The referee is checking the situation. ... Miguel Blood is fighting the hold. ... Lim Po Po tightens the hold. ... ... Miguel Blood is fighting the hold. Lim Po Po breaks the hold.)

Jim: This is quality sports entertainment!
Bud: You think?
Jim: Nope, I'm just getting paid to say that.
Jack: They're paying you to be a dumb ass?
Bud: They're getting ripped off then.

(Miguel Blood tags PoCoLoCo. Lim Po Po delivers a short-arm clothesline to PoCoLoCo. PoCoLoCo is back on his feet. PoCoLoCo tags Miguel Blood. Lim Po Po slaps Miguel Blood in the face. Lim Po Po tackles Miguel Blood. Lim Po Po gets back to his feet. Lim Po Po makes the tag to La Plop. La Plop is up again. La Plop grabs Miguel Blood and applies an arm wrench. Miguel Blood brings in PoCoLoCo for Wicked Warlocks. La Plop tackles and begins punching PoCoLoCo. La Plop fist drops PoCoLoCo on the mat. La Plop tags in Lim Po Po. Lim Po Po chokes PoCoLoCo with his boot. Lim Po Po tells PoCoLoCo to suck it. Lim Po Po runs in and leg drops PoCoLoCo. Lim Po Po sucks chants start in the crowd. Lim Po Po applies a Boston crab to PoCoLoCo. Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... ... ... PoCoLoCo tries to escape. Lim Po Po breaks the hold. Lim Po Po tags La Plop. PoCoLoCo clotheslines La Plop. La Plop brings in Lim Po Po for The gods. Lim Po Po reverse DDT's PoCoLoCo's head into the mat.)

Jim: Come on ref! Do something!! PoCoLoCo is being double-teamed!
Jack: PoCoLoCo. Lim Po Po. Damn this match is one hell of a tongue twister.

(PoCoLoCo connects with a flying knee. Lim Po Po goes down. Miguel Blood tagged in by PoCoLoCo. Lim Po Po clotheslines Miguel Blood. Lim Po Po connects with a low blow. Miguel Blood goes down. Miguel Blood moves back to his feet. Miguel Blood tries for a Standing Piledriver but Lim Po Po avoids it. Miguel Blood makes the tag to PoCoLoCo. Lim Po Po delivers a kick to the head of PoCoLoCo. Lim Po Po covers PoCoLoCo hooking the leg. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count. ...1 PoCoLoCo kicks out. PoCoLoCo stands up. Lim Po Po tackles and begins punching PoCoLoCo. Lim Po Po brings in La Plop for The gods. La Plop rolls onto PoCoLoCo connecting with a knee. PoCoLoCo brings in Miguel Blood for Wicked Warlocks. La Plop low blows Miguel Blood. Lim Po Po tagged in by La Plop. Lim Po Po rolls onto Miguel Blood connecting with a knee. La Plop leg drops the throat of Miguel Blood. La Plop executes a piledriver on Miguel Blood. La Plop drags Miguel Blood to the floor. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Miguel Blood is up again. (..2) Miguel Blood kicks La Plop in the head. La Plop moves back to his feet. La Plop drives a forearm into Miguel Blood. Swinging Neck-Breaker from La Plop takes Miguel Blood down. Miguel Blood and Lim Po Po move back into the ring. Miguel Blood sets Lim Po Po up DDT's him into the mat. Lim Po Po gets back to his feet. Miguel Blood executes a gut-wrench powerbomb on Lim Po Po. Miguel Blood executes the Riping Rage on Lim Po Po. Lim Po Po is in severe agony. Miguel Blood covers Lim Po Po hooking the leg. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 )

Harlie Davidson: The winners of this match, Wicked Warlocks!!!
Jim: That was an impressive win by the Wicked Warlocks.
Bud: And we go to the Blood Bath Babes for yet another titalizing routine.
Jack: And we do mean TITalizing.
(The Blood Bath Babes do a sexy dance number. Some college kids in the audience jump over the guardrails to join them. Samuel Addams, the P.C.W.'s security officer stops them.)
Jack: That's right kids, don't try our job at home.
Bud: Yep, leave it to those that get paid to do it.
Jim: What's wrong with being an announcer?
Jack: Besides working with this dip-shit named Jim Been, not much.
Bud: Fans, we have bad news to give to you. The owners of the Civic Center would not permit a hardcore match. However, our next match between Revelation and Warlok will have no rules anyway.
Jack: Let's go to the ring where Harlie is waiting for us.
Jim: Jim Been? I know him. He's not that bad of a guy.

Revelation vs. Warlok
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 295 from Detroit, MI a member of NWO, Inc., Revelation!!!

("Until it Sleeps" plays in the background as Revelation enters the ring.)

Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 275 from the Insane Asylum, Warlok!!!

("Sweet Dreams" by Marilyn Manson plays in the background as Warlok enters the ring with his sledgehammer. Revelation checks out the ring. Warlok checks out the ring. (the bell rings) Revelation takes Warlok off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Revelation uses a closed fist on Warlok. Warlok takes Revelation off his feet with a short-arm clothesline. Warlok covers Revelation. The ref starts the count. ...1 Revelation escapes. Warlok low blows Revelation. Now Revelation standing. Warlok slaps Revelation in the face. Warlok is back on his feet. Warlok takes Revelation down with a knee.)

Jim: Knee!
Jack: Somebody has been watching "Montey Python" a little bit too much.

(Warlok goes for a pin. Earl Hebner counts the pin. ...1 ...2 Revelation kicks out.)

Jim: You just can't win this early in a match. Especially with an opponent like Revelation.
Bud: Why? Did he kick your ass too?

(Revelation is up again. Warlok runs and tackles Revelation. Warlok punches him in the head. Warlok stomps Revelation. Revelation is up again. Revelation uses a belly-to-belly suplex. Warlok is down. Revelation grabs Warlok and applies an arm wrench. Warlok forearm smashes Revelation. Revelation connects with a flying knee. Warlok goes down. Warlok low blows Revelation. Revelation is back on his feet. Revelation kicks Warlok in the head. Revelation fist drops Warlok on the mat. Revelation moves back to his feet. Warlok gets up. Warlok side slams Revelation. Warlok gets back to his feet. Warlok puts Revelation in a reverse chin lock. Referee Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... ... Warlok breaks the hold. Warlok and Revelation go to the floor Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) (..2) Revelation drives a forearm into Warlok. (...3) Warlok tackles and begins punching Revelation. Revelation climbs to his feet. (....4) Warlok takes a slap to the face from Revelation. (.....5) Revelation takes Warlok into the ring. Revelation low blows Warlok. Revelation goes for a pin. The ref starts the count. ...1 Warlok kicks out. Warlok stands up. Warlok slaps the face of Revelation. Warlok stands up. Warlok forearm smashes Revelation. Revelation runs and tackles Warlok. Revelation punches him in the head. Revelation tackles Warlok. Warlok gets up. Revelation punches Warlok in the head. Swinging Neck-Breaker from Warlok takes Revelation down. Warlok runs in and leg drops Revelation. Warlok fist drops Revelation on the mat. Warlok is back on his feet. Revelation climbs to his feet. Revelation kicks Warlok in the head. Warlok climbs to his feet. Warlok takes Revelation off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Warlok knees Revelation and rolls back to his feet. Revelation is back on his feet. Revelation low blows Warlok. Warlok connects with a flying knee. Revelation goes down. Revelation side slams Warlok. Revelation covers Warlok hooking the leg. Earl Hebner counts the pin. ...1 ...2 Warlok escapes. Warlok goes for a vertical Suplex but Revelation dodges the attack. Revelation takes a slap to the face from Warlok. Warlok moves back to his feet. Revelation connects with a flying knee. Warlok goes down. Revelation knees Warlok and rolls back to his feet. Revelation goes for a pin. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count. ...1 Warlok escapes. Revelation takes Warlok off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Revelation kicks Warlok on the mat. Revelation applies an arm wrench to Warlok. Revelation knees Warlok and rolls back to his feet. Warlok is back on his feet. Warlok piledrives Revelation. Revelation is back on his feet. Revelation slaps the face of Warlok. Revelation tackles Warlok to the mat. Now Revelation standing. Revelation fist drops Warlok on the mat. Revelation stands up. Warlok moves back to his feet. Warlok sends Revelation into Earl Hebner he goes down. Warlok executes a belly-to-belly suplex on Revelation. Warlok applies an arm wrench to Revelation. Fireball, Jack Schitt and Satan come to the ring. Abaddon, Molech and run to the ring. Abaddon piledrives Revelation. Abaddon chants start. Abaddon head butts Revelation. Abaddon stands up. Fireball suplexes Revelation. Fireball rolls onto Revelation connecting with a knee. Revelation is back on his feet. Jack Schitt punches Revelation repeatedly. Jack Schitt delivers a low blow to Revelation. Molech sets Revelation up DDT's him into the mat. Molech gives Revelation a crotch chop. Satan clotheslines Revelation. Satan executes a back breaker on Revelation. Ordered is restored. Earl Hebner gets up. Warlok applies an arm wrench to Revelation. Warlok piledrives Revelation into the mat. Abaddon holds down Revelation. Warlok hits Revelation in the knee with his sledgehammer. Warlok executes the Sledgehammer-Slam on Revelation. Warlok covers Revelation hooking the leg. Referee Earl Hebner makes the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 )

Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, Warlok!!!
Jack: Look, it's Phoenix and Archangel!
(The ring fills with smoke as the Demonic Empire leaves. The P.C.W. paramedic's come down to the ringside.)
Jim: Good Lord! Rev's knee has been severely injured. He may not be able to walk again.
(The paramedic's secure Revelation in one of the wheel chairs. Phoenix escorts Revelation to the ambulance, as Archangel stays behind.)
Bud: And their Revelation goes, off to the hospital.
Jack: Let's go to the ring now for our next bout.

Archangel vs. Mark Happens
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 310 from the Gates of Heaven, he holds the North American title belt, Archangel!!! (crowd cheers )

("This means War" by Petra plays as Archangel enters the ring.)

Harlie Davidson: And his opponent weighing in at 255 from Los Angeles, CA a member of Jobbers R' Us, Mark Happens!!! (crowd boos )

("The House That Jack Built" by Metallica plays as Mark Happens walks to the ring. Mark Happens checks out the ring. Archangel checks out the ring. (ring, ring, ring) Mark Happens kicks Archangel in the back of the leg.)

(Asherah walks to the announcing booth.)
Jack: Oh, and we are joined now with Asherah, a member of the Demonic Empire.
(Jim Been leaves and Asherah takes his place)
Jack: Thank you. Jim was getting annoying.
Asherah: Indeed he was.
Bud: So, Asherah. Keeping a close eye on Archangel for the Empire, huh?

(Mark Happens fist drops Archangel on the mat.)

Asherah: Just looking at the competition, that's all.
Jack: Would you like to see MY competition?
Bud: Careful Jack. She is carrying a dagger.
Jack: Oh, some kinky stuff. That I like.
Asherah: Sorry Jack, put you're just not my type.
Jack: And what would be your type?
Asherah: Something that you would never be.

(Mark Happens stands up. Mark Happens knees Archangel and rolls back to his feet. Archangel gets up. Archangel takes Mark Happens down with a knee. Mark Happens uses a closed fist on Archangel. Archangel lifts Mark Happens up and drops him on his knee. Archangel chants start. Archangel fist drops Mark Happens on the mat. Archangel is back on his feet. Archangel stomps Mark Happens.)

Bud: So, Asherah. What do you think about the Empire here in the P.C.W.?
Asherah: What about it? We rule the underworlds, therefore we should control everything else.
Jack: I got something you can control.
Bud: I mean the attacking of everyone.
Asherah: From where I stand, we only attack those who deserve to be attacked.
Bud: What about Revelation's recent injury?
Asherah: Sadly, Revelation was just a casualty of war. He's an interesting man, but he has some misguided morals.
Jack: So, you want to "guide my morals"?

(Mark Happens is back on his feet. Archangel lifts Mark Happens into a vertical suplex. Archangel gets back to his feet. Mark Happens moves back to his feet. Archangel drives a forearm into Mark Happens. Archangel flips Mark Happens to the mat.)

Bud: And what about Archangel? What kind of vendetta does the Empire have against him?
Asherah: Archangel? Oh, nothing much. Only just to destroy him.
Bud: And why is that?
Asherah: That's a story in which you would not seem to understand.
Jack: You can tell me a bedtime story.
Asherah: (Watches Archangel in the ring). Sorry, gentlemen, but I am going to have to cut this interview a little short.

( Archangel rolls onto Mark Happens connecting with a knee. Archangel puts Mark Happens in The Crucifix. Referee Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... Mark Happens is fighting the hold. ... ... Archangel tightens the hold. ... Mark Happens is fighting the hold. ... ... ... ... Mark Happens tries to escape. ... Mark Happens tries to escape. ... (AHHHH!) Mark Happens taps out. )

Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, Archangel!!!
Bud: Wait a minute. What is he doing?
("Warlok" walks down to the ring to talk to Archangel. "Warlok" enters the ring, and takes of his mask to reveal Jack Schitt. The real Warlok along with the Demonic Empire storm the ring and attack both Archangel and Mark Happens.)
Jim: I'm back. What did Asherah have to say?
Jack: Nothing for you. She just said how much she wants me.
Bud: Yeah, how much she wants you to shut up.
Jim: Look. It's Phoenix!
(Phoenix, Cleric, Maige, and the Road Warriors run down to the ring)
Jack: The Road Warriors are attacking the Daemons of the Night!
Jim: What? They can't do that. It's not their match yet.
Bud: Uh oh. Maige seems to be pissed off at Asherah.
(Maige starts to chase Asherah around the ring. Cleric gives Jack Schitt a kick to his head, while Phoenix rescues Archangel).
Jim: Look, now the security team has come out.
(Samuel Addams, along with the rest of the security team, comes down to the ringside. After breaking up everyone from fighting, they proceed to escort them back to the locker rooms).
Jack: Good one Sam. Now that you sent the Road Warriors and The Daemons of the Night back to the locker room, you can now bring them back for their next match. But first, let's go to the ring for the lovely Blood Bath Babes.
(The girls come down and do a dance routine. The crowd goes wild as they return to the locker rooms.)
Bud: And now, for the matches in which I'm finally sober enough to care for. Let's go to the ring with Harlie Davidson.

Daemons of the Night vs. Road Warriors
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match tag match for the World and North American Tag titles. On their way to the ring at this time, representing the NWO, Inc., the team of Road Warriors!

("Same ol' Situation" by Motley Crue plays in the background, as the Road Warriors return to the ring.)

Harlie Davidson: And their opponents, representing the Demonic Empire, the Daemons of the Night!

("For whom the bell tolls" by Metallica plays as Abaddon and Molech walk to the ring with jugs of gasoline. They then proceed to pour the gasoline around the ringside, as Molech ignites it.)

Jim: Abaddon has just grabbed a microphone.
Abaddon: No one in. No one out!
Bud: Well fans, the Daemons of the Night has just turned this match into an inferno match.
Jack: This is going to get interesting.

( Highway Warrior strikes Abaddon in the elbow. Abaddon grabs Highway Warrior's arm and strikes his elbow. (the bell rings) Highway Warrior punches Abaddon repeatedly. Abaddon tags in Molech. Highway Warrior connects with a flying knee. Molech goes down. Molech is up again. Molech slaps Highway Warrior in the face. Molech moves back to his feet. Molech makes the tag to Abaddon. Molech connects with a flying knee. Highway Warrior goes down. Molech uses a closed fist on Highway Warrior. Highway Warrior tags Beast Master. Highway Warrior flips Abaddon to the mat. Beast Master punches Abaddon repeatedly. Beast Master piledrives Abaddon. Abaddon knees Beast Master and rolls back to his feet. Beast Master tags in Highway Warrior. Abaddon tackles Highway Warrior and pummels his head. Highway Warrior climbs to his feet. Highway Warrior makes the tag to Beast Master. Beast Master suplexes Abaddon. Highway Warrior piledrives Abaddon. Beast Master sets Abaddon up DDT's him into the mat. Abaddon stomps Beast Master's head. Abaddon brings in Molech for Daemons of the Night. Molech piledrives Beast Master into the mat. Molech stomps Beast Master. Molech fist drops Beast Master on the mat. Molech is up again. Beast Master tags in Highway Warrior. Highway Warrior delivers a spine buster to Molech. Highway Warrior covers Molech. Earl Hebner counts the pin. ...1 ...2 Molech kicks out. Molech is up again. Highway Warrior puts Molech in the Mandible claw!! Earl Hebner asks Molech if he quits. ... ... Highway Warrior breaks the hold. Highway Warrior picks Molech up and side slams him to the mat. Highway Warrior chants start. Highway Warrior gets back to his feet. Highway Warrior drags Molech to the floor. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) )

Jim: The ringside is covered with blood from these fighters.
Bud: That's what the fans pay to see, you dumb shit.

(Molech lifts Highway Warrior up and drops him on his knee. (..2) (...3) Molech rolls onto Highway Warrior connecting with a knee. Highway Warrior is up again. (....4) Highway Warrior kicks Molech in the stomach. (.....5) They fight into the aisle. Highway Warrior and Molech move back to ringside. They fight into the aisle. Highway Warrior and Molech move back to ringside. They head back into the ring. Highway Warrior stomps Molech. Abaddon tagged in by Molech. Abaddon takes Highway Warrior down with a knee. Abaddon takes Highway Warrior off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Highway Warrior brings in Beast Master for Road Warriors. Abaddon measures Beast Master up and drops a closed fist. Abaddon climbs to his feet. Abaddon covers Beast Master hooking the leg. Earl Hebner counts the pin. ...1 Beast Master kicks out. Beast Master gets back to his feet. Abaddon kicks Beast Master in the back of the leg. Beast Master moves back to his feet. Abaddon forearm smashes Beast Master. Beast Master tags in Highway Warrior. Highway Warrior suplexes Abaddon. Highway Warrior suplexes Abaddon. Abaddon grabs Highway Warrior and applies an arm wrench. Highway Warrior tags Beast Master. Beast Master tackles Abaddon and pummels his head. Abaddon shoulder tackles Beast Master. Now Beast Master standing. Abaddon executes a gut-wrench powerbomb on Beast Master. Highway Warrior tagged in by Beast Master. Beast Master punches Abaddon repeatedly. Abaddon grabs Beast Master and applies an arm wrench. Beast Master gets back to his feet. Beast Master delivers a kick to the head of Abaddon. Beast Master fist drops Abaddon on the mat. Beast Master stands up. Beast Master goes for a pin. Earl Hebner counts the pin. ...1 ...2 Abaddon kicks out. Now Abaddon standing. Abaddon low blows Beast Master. Abaddon goes for a pin. Earl Hebner counts. ...1 ...2 Beast Master escapes. Beast Master is up again. Highway Warrior brings in Beast Master for Road Warriors. Highway Warrior piledrives Abaddon. Beast Master executes a belly-to-belly suplex on Abaddon. Abaddon delivers a kick to the head of Beast Master. Abaddon fist drops Beast Master on the mat. Abaddon stands up. Abaddon kicks Beast Master on the mat. Abaddon knees Beast Master and rolls back to his feet. Beast Master brings in Highway Warrior for Road Warriors. Abaddon applies an arm wrench to Highway Warrior. Highway Warrior tags in Beast Master. Beast Master sets Abaddon up DDT's him into the mat. Highway Warrior punches Abaddon repeatedly. Abaddon stomps Highway Warrior's head. Swinging Neck-Breaker from Highway Warrior takes Abaddon down. Highway Warrior head butts Abaddon. )

Jim: Nice Falling head butt by Highway Warrior.
Jack: Nice butt by the girl next to the announcing booth. (Looks at a girl in the crowd).

(Highway Warrior is up again. Abaddon makes the tag to Molech. Molech suplexes Beast Master. Abaddon clotheslines Beast Master. They lockup. Beast Master sends Abaddon to the corner of the ring. Molech tags Abaddon. Beast Master punches Abaddon in the head. Abaddon makes the tag to Molech. Beast Master rolls onto Molech connecting with a knee. Beast Master kicks Molech on the mat. Molech executes a neck-breaker on Beast Master. Molech head butts Beast Master. Molech and Beast Master go to the mat. Now both men are standing. Beast Master tackles Molech. Beast Master is back on his feet. Beast Master grabs Molech and applies an arm wrench. Molech clotheslines Beast Master. Molech lifts Beast Master into the air. Holds him and drops him to the mat. Molech climbs to his feet. Molech and Abaddon execute The Death Toll on Beast Master. Molech goes for a pin. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3 )

Harlie Davidson: The winners of this match, and new World Tag champions, Daemons of the Night!!! And our winners of the North American Tag Team belts, The Road Warriors.
Bud: Fans, we go now to last and main event of the evening.

Grim Reaper vs. Phoenix
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match for the World Heavyweight title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 325 from Death Valley a member of NWO, Inc. he holds the World Heavyweight title belt, Grim Reaper!!! (crowd cheers )

("Undertaker theme" plays in the background as Grim Reaper enters the ring.)

Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 275 from St. Louis a member of NWO, Inc. he holds the IC title belt, Phoenix!!! (crowd cheers)

("Love Roller Coaster" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers play in the background.)

Harlie: And now for the thousands in attendance, and for the millions watching at home:
Let the Games Begin!!!

(Grim Reaper checks his boots. Earl Hebner checks Phoenix's boots and kneepads. (ring, ring, ring) Grim Reaper kicks Phoenix in the back of the leg. Phoenix moves back to his feet. Phoenix delivers a kick to the head of Grim Reaper. Phoenix stomps Grim Reaper's head. Grim Reaper is up again. Phoenix delivers a low blow to Grim Reaper. Grim Reaper moves back to his feet. Grim Reaper tries for a Side Belly-to-Belly Suplex but Phoenix avoids it. Grim Reaper sends Phoenix to ringside. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Grim Reaper picks up a chair and throws it at Phoenix. Phoenix delivers a spine buster to Grim Reaper. They fight into the aisle. (..2) (...3) Phoenix knees Grim Reaper and rolls back to his feet. (....4) Phoenix takes Grim Reaper down with a knee (.....5) Grim Reaper and Phoenix move back to ringside. Grim Reaper and Phoenix move back into the ring. Grim Reaper short-arm clotheslines Phoenix to the mat. Phoenix is up again. Phoenix punches Grim Reaper in the head. Grim Reaper takes Phoenix down with a knee.)

Jim: Knee!
Jack: I thought we told you to stop watching that Monty Python movie!

(Grim Reaper grabs Phoenix and applies an arm wrench. Phoenix stands up. Phoenix takes a slap to the face from Grim Reaper. Grim Reaper delivers a kick to the head of Phoenix. Grim Reaper rolls onto Phoenix connecting with a knee. Phoenix is back on his feet. Phoenix uses a belly-to-belly suplex. Grim Reaper is down. Phoenix kicks Grim Reaper in the stomach. Grim Reaper stands up. Phoenix slaps Grim Reaper in the face. Phoenix climbs to his feet. Grim Reaper runs and tackles Phoenix. Grim Reaper punches him in the head. Grim Reaper measures Phoenix up and drops a closed fist. Grim Reaper is up again. Grim Reaper kicks Phoenix on the mat. Grim Reaper knees Phoenix and rolls back to his feet. Phoenix gets up. Grim Reaper tackles Phoenix to the mat. Grim Reaper moves back to his feet. Phoenix gets up. Grim Reaper goes for a Gut-Wrench Power Bomb but Phoenix dodges the attack. Grim Reaper lifts Phoenix into the air and delivers a spine buster. Grim Reaper low blows Phoenix. Phoenix tackles Grim Reaper and pummels his head. Phoenix fist drops Grim Reaper on the mat. Phoenix is back on his feet. Phoenix tackles Grim Reaper. Phoenix is up again. Phoenix grabs Grim Reaper and applies an arm wrench. Phoenix measures Grim Reaper up and drops a closed fist. Phoenix gets up. Grim Reaper gets back to his feet. Phoenix lifts Grim Reaper and delivers a back breaker. Phoenix stomps Grim Reaper's head. Phoenix drives a forearm into Grim Reaper. Grim Reaper forearm smashes Phoenix. Grim Reaper kicks Phoenix in the head. Grim Reaper measures Phoenix up and drops a closed fist. Now Grim Reaper standing. Grim Reaper kicks Phoenix in the stomach. Phoenix moves back to his feet. Phoenix piledrives Grim Reaper head first into the mat. Phoenix applies a Boston crab to Grim Reaper. Referee Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... Phoenix tightens the hold. ... (AHHHH!) Grim Reaper escapes. Now Grim Reaper standing. Grim Reaper connects with a flying knee. Phoenix goes down. Phoenix gets back to his feet. Grim Reaper connects with a low blow. Phoenix goes down. Grim Reaper kicks Phoenix on the mat. Grim Reaper applies an arm wrench to Phoenix. Now Phoenix standing. Phoenix reverse DDT's Grim Reaper's head into the mat. Phoenix chokes Grim Reaper. Phoenix leg drops Grim Reaper. Grim Reaper is up again. Phoenix brings a chair to the ring. Earl Hebner warns him not to use it. Phoenix hits Earl Hebner with the chair. Ring, ring, ring! Earl Hebner calls for the bell. Phoenix was disqualified.)

Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, and still World Heavyweight champion, Grim Reaper!!!
Bud: Wait a minute, it's the Demonic Empire, again!
(The Empire comes down and starts to attack both Phoenix and Grim Reaper.)
Jack: Look. It's the rest of the NWO, Inc.
(The NWO, Inc. comes down to the ringside. The two stables start fighting each other until the lights go off).
Bud: Hey, What the hell?
Jim: Look. He has returned.
(A spotlight shines upon Dracula, as he floats down from the rafters to the ring were both stables are fighting. Dracula then lands in the middle of the ring, and proceeds to raise his hands. Dracula then drops his hands, as the ring pours down with blood from the rafters. Everyone in the ring gets soaked with blood as the camera fades out.)