8-28-99.
8-28-99.
(The arena fills with loud music, as the pyrotechnics ignite. The camera zooms around the arena, as the crowd cheers frantically. The camera then focuses in on the announcing booth.)
Jack Danheils: Welcome fans, to the P.C.W. and H.W.A. August Anarchy Pay Per View extravaganza. I am your host, Jack Danheils, along with my two colleagues, Jim Been and Bud Wheiser.
Bud: Thank you, Jack. And we are live from Los Angeles, California.
Jim: Fans, what a night tonight will be. We have four title matches, along with an extreme match up tonight.
Jack: Let’s go to the ring now, to start things off with the lovely Blood Bath Babes.
(The girls do an erotic dance routine, with the crowd cheering wildly. The girls then depart to the locker room area, as they wave back to the crowd).
Jack: Now, that was entertaining.
Jim: Yeah, but I’m a little disappointed.
Bud: OK, why?
Jim: My cousin Richie didn’t get a match tonight.
Jack: You mean Dick Lick?
Jim: Yeah, he didn’t get a match.
Jack: Gee, I wonder why.
Bud: Fans, we take you to the ring now for our opening bout.
Jim: What do you mean that you wonder about him?
Jack: Jim, shut up. Just sit there, and watch this next match.
Jim: OK, I guess.
Bud: Good, now can we just go to the ring now?
Pepe vs. PoCo LoCo
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 215 from El Paso, a member of the NWO, Inc., Pepe! (Crowd cheers!!)
("Lone Ranger" theme plays, as Pepe enters the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 215 from Boca, Argentina, PoCo LoCo! (Crowd boos!!)
("Brood’s theme" plays as PoCo LoCo enters the ring. Pepe checks the ring out. PoCo LoCo grabs Pepe's arm and strikes his elbow. (Ring, ring, ring) Pepe runs and tackles PoCo LoCo. Pepe punches him in the head. PoCo LoCo shoulder tackles Pepe. PoCo LoCo gets up. PoCo LoCo rolls onto Pepe connecting with a knee. PoCo LoCo stomps Pepe. PoCo LoCo uses a closed fist on Pepe. Pepe reverse DDT's PoCo LoCo’s head into the mat.)
Jim Been: If Pepe keeps using moves like that Reverse DDT, he could win the match!
Jack: Damn! Looks like you’ve been training with Dick Lick.
Bud: Jim could use it!
Jim: Actually, I have been training. I’m now up to 100 lbs. on the bench press.
Jack: The Hell?!
Jim: Impressive, isn’t it.
Bud: Nope.
Jim: What do you mean that it’s not impressive. I worked all summer to achieve that.
Jack: That I don’t doubt.
Bud: Whatever, Pepe continues with the offense.
(Pepe knees PoCo LoCo and rolls back to his feet. Now PoCo LoCo standing. PoCo LoCo connects with a flying knee. Pepe goes down. Pepe moves back to his feet. PoCo LoCo takes a slap to the face from Pepe. Pepe is back on his feet. Pepe takes PoCo LoCo down with a knee. Pepe lifts up PoCo LoCo and delivers a gut-wrench power bomb. Pepe leg drops PoCo LoCo. PoCo LoCo gets up.)
Jim Been: This is a good match.
Jack: That’s more than what I can say about this beer. Hey, where’s the intern boy at?
Bud: I have no idea where he went to.
Jim: Wait a minute. That isn’t beer, that’s water.
Jack: Damn. No wonder it tasted like shit.
Bud: Here, Jim. You can drink this water. They’re suppose to bring up some beer later on.
Jack: What! You mean that I have to be sober around Jim for a while. He’s bad enough when I’m not!
Bud: That ain’t no lie!
Jim: Gee, thanks guys. Pepe continues with his attack.
(Pepe flips PoCo LoCo to the mat. Pepe tackles PoCo LoCo to the mat. Pepe chants start. Pepe stands up. PoCo LoCo is up again. Pepe uses a belly-to-belly suplex. PoCo LoCo is down. Pepe piledrives PoCo LoCo into the mat. Pepe goes for a the Tornado DDT. Pepe covers PoCo LoCo. Earl Hebner counts. (..1) (..2) (..3).)
Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, Pepe!
Jim: Wow! That was a good win by Pepe.
Bud: Yeah, and Chavo, now known as Pepe, is still the number one contender for the Lightweight title.
Jack: OK, but there’s something I have to say though.
Jim: What’s that?
Jack: Finally, The Beer-man has returned to our announcing booth.
Bud: About time. Pass me a cold one.
Jim: I can’t believe you two guys. Drinking beer while on the job.
(Jack gives Jim the middle finger)
Bud: Good one, Jack.
Jack: Yeah, but I think that I confused him now.
Bud: Wouldn’t doubt it.
Jim: Fans, we take you to the ring now for our second match.
Sgt. O'Brien vs. Talon
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 230, a member of the Union, Sgt. O'Brien! (Crowd cheers!!)
(Sgt. O'Brien comes to the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 235, Talon!
("Happiness in Slavery" plays as Talon enters the ring. Sgt. O'Brien strikes Talon in the elbow. Talon strikes Sgt. O'Brien in the elbow. (Ring, ring, ring) Sgt. O'Brien delivers a short-arm clothesline to Talon. Sgt. O'Brien stomps Talon's head. Now Talon standing. Sgt. O'Brien delivers a low blow to Talon. Sgt. O'Brien rolls onto Talon connecting with a knee. Sgt. O'Brien fist drops Talon on the mat. Sgt. O'Brien stands up. Sgt. O'Brien grabs Talon and applies an arm wrench. Talon climbs to his feet. Talon lifts Sgt. O'Brien into the air and delivers a spine buster. Sgt. O'Brien gets back to his feet. Talon takes Sgt. O'Brien down with a knee. Sgt. O'Brien gets back to his feet. Sgt. O'Brien tackles and begins punching Talon. Sgt. O'Brien grabs Talon and applies an arm wrench. Sgt. O'Brien knees Talon and rolls back to his feet. Sgt. O'Brien stomps Talon. Talon climbs to his feet. Sgt. O'Brien kicks Talon in the back of the leg.)
Bud: Look! Over there!
Jim: What? What is it?
Jack: Is someone else getting their ass kicked?
Bud: No! It’s the intern boy! And he’s bringing us some pizza!
Jack: So, that’s were he ran off to.
(Talon gets up. Talon hits the mat. Sgt. O'Brien is up again. Sgt. O'Brien fist drops Talon on the mat. Sgt. O'Brien fist drops Talon on the mat. Sgt. O'Brien knees Talon and rolls back to his feet. Talon gets back to his feet. Sgt. O'Brien drives a forearm into the head of Talon. Sgt. O'Brien kicks Talon in the head. Talon stands up. Sgt. O'Brien executes a reverse DDT on Talon.)
Jim Been: Is this a great match or what?
Bud Wheiser: Yeah, whatever you say. Hey, pass the Pepperoni.
Jack: Sure. Thanks, intern boy.
Intern Boy: Actually, the office bought it, since we had a lack of beer.
Jim: Oh, boy! Anchovies!
Jack: You got to be kidding.
Bud: I wish he was.
Jack: Hey, Sgt. O’Brien goes on the attack.
(Sgt. O'Brien uses a closed fist on Talon. Sgt. O'Brien slaps the face of Talon. Sgt. O'Brien moves back to his feet. Sgt. O'Brien brings a chair to the ring. Earl Hebner warns him not to use it. Sgt. O’Brien hits Talon with the chair. Ring, ring, ring! Earl Hebner calls for the bell. Sgt. O'Brien was disqualified.)
Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, Talon!
Jack: Damn! Talon’s head’s covered in blood.
Bud: Damn! But there’s going to be more than just blood shed tonight during that match between Kaptain Kool and Molech.
Jim: That’s going to be a good match.
Bud: Damn right! Fans, our paramedic’s our out treating Talon now.
(The paramedic’s clean up the spilt blood, and escort Talon to the locker room area.)
Jim: Fans, we got word that Talon will be fine. He will receive a few stitches, but will be fine.
Jack: Now that that is taken care of, let’s go to the walkway, where the Blood Bath Babes are waiting for us.
(The girls do a dance routine in the walkway. The crowd cheers, as the girls dance towards the announcing booth. The girls proceed to flirt with Jack, Bud, and the Intern Boy. Jim Been tries to go towards one of the girls, only to be shoved away. The Blood Bath Babes then wave to the crowd as the exit to the locker rooms.)
Intern Boy: That’s was nice.
Jack: What do you think we’ve been saying?
Bud: Jim doesn’t know that yet.
Jim: Why do they always push me away?
Jack: Do you really want to know?
Jim: Yeah, why?
Intern Boy: Probably because you’re too muscular for them. You are bench pressing that 100 lbs.
Jim: So, if I stopped working out, and become a weakling like you guys, I might get them.
Intern Boy: Yeah, Probably.
Jim: OK.
Jack: (Laughs) I’m starting to like this kid.
Bud: He’s better than Jim.
Jack: No shit!
Bud: Fans, we go now to the ring with some tag-team action.
Road Warriors vs. Wicked Warlocks
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match tag match. On there way to the ring at this time, Road Warriors! (Crowd Cheers!!)
("Same Ol' Situation" by Motley Crue plays as the Road Warriors walk to the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And their opponents, the team of Wicked Warlocks. (Crowd Boos!!)
("Brood’s Theme" plays as the Wicked Warlocks enter the ring. Highway Warrior grabs PoCo LoCo's arm and strikes his elbow. PoCo LoCo checks his boots. (Ring, ring, ring) Highway Warrior clotheslines PoCo LoCo. Highway Warrior uses a closed fist on PoCo LoCo. PoCo LoCo tackles and begins punching Highway Warrior. Now Highway Warrior standing. Highway Warrior kicks PoCo LoCo in the stomach. PoCo LoCo climbs to his feet. PoCo LoCo uses a belly-to-belly suplex. Highway Warrior is down. Highway Warrior is up again. PoCo LoCo uses a closed fist on Highway Warrior. Highway Warrior runs and tackles PoCo LoCo. Highway Warrior punches him in the head. Highway Warrior rolls onto PoCo LoCo connecting with a knee. Highway Warrior fist drops PoCo LoCo on the mat. PoCo LoCo gets up. PoCo LoCo picks Highway Warrior up and side slams him to the mat. PoCo LoCo moves back to his feet. PoCo LoCo kicks Highway Warrior in the head. Highway Warrior moves back to his feet. Highway Warrior kicks PoCo LoCo in the head. Now PoCo LoCo standing. Highway Warrior low blows PoCo LoCo. PoCo LoCo moves back to his feet. PoCo LoCo delivers a spine buster to Highway Warrior. PoCo LoCo dives head first into Highway Warrior. PoCo LoCo is back on his feet.)
Jim Been: Highway Warrior is getting the crap kicked out of him!
Bud: I guess PoCo got pissed off from the match against Pepe.
(PoCo LoCo knees Highway Warrior and rolls back to his feet. Now Highway Warrior standing. Highway Warrior slaps PoCo LoCo in the face. PoCo LoCo drives a forearm into the head of Highway Warrior. PoCo LoCo shoulder tackles Highway Warrior. Highway Warrior is back on his feet. Highway Warrior lifts PoCo LoCo into the air and delivers a spine buster.)
Jack Danheils: Look’s to me like Highway Warrior is doing the ass kicking now.
Bud: Look’s to me like Bud Wheiser is doing the beer drinking now, too.
Jack: Hey. (grab’s a can) Can’t let you do all of the work, now can I?
Bud: That’s what I thought.
Jim: PoCo LoCo goes on the offensive now.
(PoCo LoCo climbs to his feet. PoCo LoCo connects with a flying knee. Highway Warrior goes down. PoCo LoCo stomps Highway Warrior's head. PoCo LoCo measures Highway Warrior up and drops a closed fist. PoCo LoCo moves back to his feet. Highway Warrior tries for a suplex but PoCo LoCo avoids it. Highway Warrior tackles PoCo LoCo to the mat. Highway Warrior is back on his feet. Highway Warrior stomps PoCo LoCo. PoCo LoCo gets up. PoCo LoCo delivers a short-arm clothesline to Highway Warrior. PoCo LoCo measures Highway Warrior up and drops a closed fist. Highway Warrior is up again. Highway Warrior connects with a flying knee. PoCo LoCo goes down. PoCo LoCo climbs to his feet. Highway Warrior lifts PoCo LoCo into a vertical suplex. Highway Warrior chants start. Highway Warrior gets back to his feet. Highway Warrior stomps PoCo LoCo. Highway Warrior drives a forearm into PoCo LoCo.)
Bud Wheiser: PoCo LoCo’s doing better in this match then when he did against Pepe.
Jim: Ahh, my cousin Richie can beat him.
Jack: I don’t care what that Dick Lick can beat. And I don’t want to know either.
Jim: Hey, he beat Youth Warrior last week.
Bud: Good for him, now can get back to the match?
(PoCo LoCo takes Highway Warrior off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Highway Warrior climbs to his feet. PoCo LoCo punches Highway Warrior in the head. Highway Warrior forearm smashes PoCo LoCo. PoCo LoCo reverse DDT's Highway Warrior's head into the mat. PoCo LoCo stomps Highway Warrior's head. Highway Warrior shoulder tackles PoCo LoCo. PoCo LoCo stands up. Highway Warrior tackles and begins punching PoCo LoCo. Highway Warrior fist drops PoCo LoCo on the mat. Highway Warrior gets back to his feet. PoCo LoCo climbs to his feet. Highway Warrior kicks PoCo LoCo in the stomach. PoCo LoCo is back on his feet. Highway Warrior delivers a kick to the head of PoCo LoCo. PoCo LoCo gets back to his feet. Highway Warrior lifts PoCo LoCo up and drops him on the mat. Highway Warrior tries for a Suck It but PoCo LoCo avoids it. Highway Warrior delivers a low blow to PoCo LoCo. PoCo LoCo is back on his feet. PoCo LoCo shoulder tackles Highway Warrior. PoCo LoCo gets up. Highway Warrior climbs to his feet. Highway Warrior uses a closed fist on PoCo LoCo. Highway Warrior takes PoCo LoCo down with a knee. PoCo LoCo lifts Highway Warrior up and drops him on the mat. PoCo LoCo knees Highway Warrior and rolls back to his feet. Highway Warrior gets back to his feet. Highway Warrior slaps PoCo LoCo in the face. PoCo LoCo tackles Highway Warrior and pummels his head. PoCo LoCo stomps Highway Warrior's head. PoCo LoCo fist drops Highway Warrior on the mat. PoCo LoCo stands up. Highway Warrior is up again. Highway Warrior executes a belly-to-belly suplex on PoCo LoCo.)
Jim: This is how wrestling should be!
Jack: Why, is there an alternative?
(Highway Warrior rolls onto PoCo LoCo connecting with a knee. Now PoCo LoCo standing. PoCo LoCo connects with a flying knee. Highway Warrior goes down. Now Highway Warrior standing. Highway Warrior drives a forearm into PoCo LoCo. PoCo LoCo drives a forearm into the head of Highway Warrior. PoCo LoCo kicks Highway Warrior in the head. Now Highway Warrior standing. PoCo LoCo lifts Highway Warrior into a vertical suplex. PoCo LoCo executes a back breaker on Highway Warrior. PoCo LoCo knees Highway Warrior and rolls back to his feet. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Highway Warrior piledrives PoCo LoCo. PoCo LoCo is back on his feet. Highway Warrior piledrives PoCo LoCo. (..2) Highway Warrior shoulder tackles PoCo LoCo. Highway Warrior moves back to his feet. Highway Warrior chokes PoCo LoCo with his boot. (...3) Highway Warrior measures PoCo LoCo up and drops a closed fist. Highway Warrior climbs to his feet. Highway Warrior rolls onto PoCo LoCo connecting with a knee. PoCo LoCo climbs to his feet. (....4) Highway Warrior executes a neck-breaker on PoCo LoCo. Highway Warrior piledrives PoCo LoCo into the . Highway Warrior chants start. (.....5) Highway Warrior stomps PoCo LoCo. Crotch chop from Highway Warrior. Highway Warrior chants start. (......6) Highway Warrior dives head first into PoCo LoCo. Highway Warrior chants start. Highway Warrior moves back to his feet. Highway Warrior measures PoCo LoCo up and drops a closed fist. Highway Warrior moves back to his feet. (.......7) Highway Warrior kicks PoCo LoCo on the . Highway Warrior knees PoCo LoCo and rolls back to his feet. PoCo LoCo gets back to his feet. (........8) Highway Warrior kicks PoCo LoCo in the head. Highway Warrior chants start. Highway Warrior gives PoCo LoCo a crotch chop. Highway Warrior goes to the ring. (.........9)(...........10).)
Harlie Davidson: The winners of this match, the Road Warriors!!!
Bud: Damn! PoCo LoCo is going to be pissed off now.
Jack: Hell, he lost twice in the same night.
Jim: My cousin Richie is undefeated.
Jack: Who gives a crap about Dick Lick.
Jim: (Points to an old lady in the crowd who’s holding up a sign that says "Lick Me!" on it) Her!
Bud: Jim, your grandma don’t count.
Jim: But she’s a bigger fan of him than I am.
Jack: Jim, shut up!
Bud: Gee, that means that Dick Lick now has, what, two fans?
Intern Boy: Wow, that’s a lot.
Jack: No kidding.
Bud: Fans, we take you to the ring now with our middleweight title match.
Dracula vs. Satan
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match for the PCW & HWA Middleweight title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 285, a member of the Demonic Empire, Satan!
("The Devil" plays as Satan makes his way to the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 225 from Transylvania, Dracula!!!
("The Warrior" plays as Dracula enters the ring. Satan grabs Dracula's arm and strikes his elbow. Dracula strikes Satan in the elbow. (ding, ding, and ding) Satan tackles and begins punching Dracula. Satan knees Dracula and rolls back to his feet. Satan fist drops Dracula on the mat. Dracula gets back to his feet. Dracula executes a reverse DDT on Satan. Dracula puts his hand around the head of Satan. Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... ... Satan is fighting the hold. ... Satan escapes. Dracula and Satan go to the floor Earl Hebner starts the count (.1)... (..2) Dracula stomps Satan. (...3) Dracula applies an arm wrench to Satan. (....4) Dracula fist drops Satan on the floor. Now Dracula standing. Dracula gut-wrenches Satan.)
Jim: That Gut-Wrench was a pretty good move.
Jack: Yeah, and that beer was pretty good too. Hey, Intern Boy! Go get us some more.
( (.....5) (......6) Satan takes Dracula into the ring. Satan slaps the face of Dracula. Satan is back on his feet. Satan punches Dracula in the head. Satan drives a forearm into the head of Dracula. Dracula lifts Satan into the air and delivers a spine buster. Dracula measures Satan up and drops a closed fist. Dracula moves back to his feet. Dracula applies an arm wrench to Satan. Satan sends Dracula to ringside. They fight into the aisle. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) Satan piledrives Dracula. Satan kicks Dracula on the floor. (..2) Crotch chop from Satan. (...3) Satan grabs Dracula and applies an arm wrench. Satan falls headfirst into Dracula. Satan climbs to his feet. Dracula climbs to his feet. (....4) Satan kicks Dracula in the back of the leg. Satan runs in and leg drops Dracula. (.....5) Satan kicks Dracula on the floor. Satan knees Dracula and rolls back to his feet. Dracula is back on his feet. (......6) Satan delivers a short-arm clothesline to Dracula. Satan grabs Dracula and applies an arm wrench. (.......7) Satan chokes Dracula with his boot. Satan fist drops Dracula on the floor. Satan climbs to his feet. (........8) Satan executes a piledriver on Dracula. Satan executes a piledriver on Dracula. Satan goes to the ring. (.........9)Dracula heads to the ring, but Satan keeps him out. (...........10).)
Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, and still PCW & HWA Middleweight champion, Satan!
Jim: Wow! What a win by Satan.
Jack: Look! Here comes the rest of the Demonic Empire!
(The Demonic Empire runs down to attack Dracula. The lights to the arena then go out, as a morbid laugh fills the stadium. The lights return, and Dracula has vanished.)
Jim: Where did he go!
Jack: Who, the intern? He went to get us some more beer.
Jim: No, Dracula.
Bud: Hell if I know. But the Demonic Empire doesn’t seem to pleased that he left.
Jack: They’ll get their chance.
Bud: I’m sure that they will, but let’s go now to our next featured bout.
The Terminator vs. Phoenix
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match for the IC title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 275, from St. Louis, Missouri, a member of the NWO, Inc., he holds the IC title belt, Phoenix! (Crowd cheers!!!)
("Love Roller Coaster" plays as Phoenix enters the walkway, followed by a woman in a fiery robe.)
Jim: Who’s that girl with Phoenix?
Jack: I don’t know, but she ain’t bad looking.
Intern boy: Beer’s here!
Jack: Good! Now sit down and pass them out.
Harlie: And his opponent, weighing in at 275 from the future, The Terminator!
("T2 theme" plays as Terminator enters the ring. Phoenix tests out the ropes. The Terminator strikes Phoenix in the elbow. (Ring, ring, ring) Phoenix forearm smashes The Terminator. Phoenix low blows The Terminator. Phoenix grabs The Terminator and applies an arm wrench. Phoenix goes for a pin. The ref. starts the count. ...1 ...2 The Terminator escapes. The Terminator is back on his feet. Phoenix kicks The Terminator in the stomach. The Terminator lifts Phoenix into the air and delivers a spine buster. The Terminator puts Phoenix in a reverse chin lock. Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... The Terminator tightens the hold. ... Phoenix tries to escape. ... (AHHHH!) ... The Terminator breaks the hold. The Terminator rolls onto Phoenix connecting with a knee. Phoenix is back on his feet. The Terminator runs and tackles Phoenix. The Terminator punches him in the head. The Terminator stomps Phoenix's head. Now Phoenix standing. Phoenix delivers a short-arm clothesline to The Terminator. ]
Bud Wheiser: Phoenix is really giving it to the Terminator.
Jack: Yeah, but who’s that chick?
(The Terminator gets up. The Terminator drives a forearm into the head of Phoenix. The Terminator takes Phoenix down with a knee. Now Phoenix standing. Phoenix executes a reverse DDT on The Terminator. Phoenix chants start. The Terminator moves back to his feet. The Terminator executes a reverse DDT on Phoenix. The Terminator looks Phoenix in the face and says Suck it. The Terminator runs in and leg drops Phoenix. The Terminator and Phoenix go to the floor Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) The Terminator chokes Phoenix. (..2) The Terminator picks up a microphone cable and chokes Phoenix with it. (...3) Phoenix takes The Terminator down with a knee. The Terminator gets up. (....4) The Terminator delivers a kick to the head of Phoenix. Now Phoenix standing. (.....5) Phoenix and The Terminator move back into the ring. Phoenix tackles The Terminator to the mat. Phoenix stands up. Now The Terminator standing. The Terminator punches Phoenix in the head. The Terminator kicks Phoenix in the stomach. Phoenix punches The Terminator in the head. Phoenix tackles and begins punching The Terminator. Phoenix covers The Terminator hooking the leg. Earl Hebner counts. ...1 The Terminator escapes. The Terminator stands up. Swinging Neck-Breaker from The Terminator takes Phoenix down. The Terminator sends Phoenix to ringside. Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) The Terminator fist drops Phoenix on the floor. The Terminator applies an arm wrench to Phoenix. Phoenix and The Terminator move back into the ring. Phoenix clotheslines The Terminator. Phoenix gut-wrenches The Terminator. Phoenix chants start. Phoenix executes the Stunner on The Terminator. Phoenix covers The Terminator hooking the leg. Earl Hebner counts. (...1) (..2) (..3) .)
Harlie: The winner of this match, and still IC champion, Phoenix!!!
Jim: Wow! Phoenix is still the IC champ!
Bud: No shit, Sherlock!
Jack: Yeah, who cares about Phoenix, I just want to know who that girl is.
Jim: I think it’s his new valet.
Bud: Damn, Jim. You’re smart. Like I couldn’t figure that out for myself.
Jack: Yeah, whatever. So, does anyone knows her name yet?
Jim: I don’t know. I don’t see her name on the roster.
Bud: Oh, well. Speaking of some chicks, let’s go to the ring for the Blood Bath Babes.
(The Blood Bath Babes come dancing from the walkway towards the ring. They then enter the ring, and continue in their dance routine. Once done, they wave to the crowd before returning to the locker room area.)
Jack: Ahh, must they go?
Bud: Yeah, things just started to get interesting.
Jim: Now that you mentioned interesting, this next match between Molech and Kaptain Kool should be very interesting.
Jack: I’ll say. They even have an ambulance ready for this next match!
Bud: Fans, this next match up is our first ever "Extreme" match. It’s a no rules, anything goes match. The only way you can win is if your opponent can no longer compete.
Jack: Damn, sounds like my kind of match.
Jim: I don’t know. It seems a bit dangerous.
Bud: Who cares about that.
Intern Boy: I think it’s going to be cool.
Jack: Damn right!
Bud: Fans, we take you to the ring now, with our ring announcer, Harlie Davidson.
Molech vs. Kaptain Kool
Harlie Davidson: This match is an Extreme match!. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 320, a member of the Demonic Empire, accompanied by Asherah, Molech!!! (crowd cheers!!)
("Of Those Chosen" plays as Molech and Asherah enter the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 280, from Washington D.C., Kaptain Kool!!! (crowd cheers!!)
("Tear Da Club Up" plays as Kaptain Kool walks down the aisle. Asherah then walks up the aisle and drags Kaptain Kool towards the ring. Molech strikes Kaptain Kool in the elbow. Kaptain Kool grabs Molech's arm and strikes his elbow. (the bell rings) Molech tackles Kaptain Kool and pummels his head. Molech knees Kaptain Kool and rolls back to his feet. Molech kicks Kaptain Kool on the mat. Molech applies an arm wrench to Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool is up again. Kaptain Kool delivers a spine buster to Molech. Kaptain Kool chants start. Kaptain Kool picks up salt and throws it at Molech.)
Jim Been: What an outstanding match!
Jack: It ain’t over yet! It’s bound to get better!
(Molech is back on his feet. Molech connects with a flying knee. Kaptain Kool goes down. Kaptain Kool climbs to his feet. Kaptain Kool connects with a flying knee. Molech goes down. Kaptain Kool grabs Molech and applies an arm wrench. Molech is up again. Molech kicks Kaptain Kool in the back of the leg. Now Kaptain Kool standing. Kaptain Kool tackles Molech and pummels his head. Kaptain Kool knees Molech and rolls back to his feet. Molech piledrives Kaptain Kool into the mat. Molech chants start. Kaptain Kool is back on his feet. Molech dumps Kaptain Kool on the outside of the ring. Molech picks up a whip and swings it at Kaptain Kool. Molech slaps the face of Kaptain Kool. Molech gets up. Molech uses a closed fist on Kaptain Kool. Molech delivers a kick to the head of Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool gets back to his feet. Molech low blows Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool stands up. Kaptain Kool uses a belly-to-belly suplex. Molech is down.)
Jim Been: Molech takes a Belly-to-Belly Suplex.
Jack: And I will take another beer. This match kicks ass!
(Molech gets up. Molech takes Kaptain Kool to the floor. Kaptain Kool picks up a chair and swings it at Molech. Molech is bleeding. Molech takes a slap to the face from Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool is up again. Kaptain Kool drives a forearm into the head of Molech. Molech tackles Kaptain Kool. Molech is up again. Kaptain Kool stands up. Molech kicks Kaptain Kool in the head. Kaptain Kool kicks Molech in the back of the leg. Kaptain Kool measures Molech up and drops a closed fist. Kaptain Kool is back on his feet. Molech stands up. Kaptain Kool lifts Molech into the air. Holds him and drops him to the mat.)
Bud Wheiser: Damn! This is one hell of a match!
Jack Danheils: No shit!
Intern Boy: We should have these matches more often.
Bud: Oh, Hell yeah!
(Kaptain Kool falls headfirst into Molech. Molech gets back to his feet. Kaptain Kool takes a slap to the face from Molech. Now Molech standing. Molech takes Kaptain Kool down with a knee. Molech measures Kaptain Kool up and drops a closed fist. Molech gets back to his feet. Molech stomps Kaptain Kool. Molech applies an arm wrench to Kaptain Kool. Molech rolls onto Kaptain Kool connecting with a knee. Kaptain Kool stands up. Kaptain Kool flips Molech to the dirt. Kaptain Kool walks back to the outside of the ring. Kaptain Kool picks up a chair and swings it at Molech. Molech is bleeding. Swinging Neck-Breaker from Kaptain Kool takes Molech down. Kaptain Kool picks up a steel chair and swings it at Molech. Molech is bleeding. Kaptain Kool executes a piledriver on Molech. Kaptain Kool chants start. Molech uses a closed fist on Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool short-arm clotheslines Molech to the mat. Molech connects with a low blow. Kaptain Kool goes down. Molech measures Kaptain Kool up and drops a closed fist. Molech climbs to his feet. Kaptain Kool is up again. Kaptain Kool lifts Molech and delivers a back breaker. Molech picks up A steel chair and swings it at Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool is bleeding. Kaptain Kool piledrives Molech head first into the mat. Kaptain Kool chants start. Now Molech standing. Kaptain Kool shoulder tackles Molech. Now Kaptain Kool standing. Molech executes a belly-to-belly suplex on Kaptain Kool. Molech kicks Kaptain Kool in the stomach.)
Jim: Kaptain Kool sure is giving Molech a run for his money.
Jack: Don’t you mean that Molech is beating the shit out of Kaptain Kool?
(Molech drags Kaptain Kool outside of the ring. Asherah stabs Kaptain Kool in the knee with her dagger. Molech grabs the steel stairs and hits Kaptain Kool in the head. Asherah goes to kick Kaptain Kool, but he pushes her into Molech. Kaptain Kool now standing. Kaptain Kool throws Molech into the guardrail. Molech kicks Kaptain Kool in the knee. Asherah stabs Kaptain Kool in the arm with her dagger. Molech drags Kaptain Kool towards the aisle. Molech sets Kaptain Kool up for the Sacrifice. Molech picks Kaptain Kool up, and tosses him off of the walkway. Molech jumps down from the platform next to Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool kicks Molech in the knee. Molech goes down. Now Kaptain Kool standing. Kaptain Kool takes a cable and chokes Molech with it. Asherah kicks Kaptain Kool in the knee. Kaptain Kool goes down. Asherah pulls out a table. Molech now standing. Molech climbs back up the walkway platform. Asherah puts Kaptain Kool on the table. Molech dives and lands on Kaptain Kool. Molech now standing. Molech picks Kaptain Kool up and tosses him into the wall. Kaptain Kool and Molech now fight towards the locker room area. Kaptain Kool kicks Molech in the knee. Molech goes down. Kaptain Kool grabs a water cooler, and slams it on Molech. Kaptain Kool picks Molech up and tosses him into the wall. Kaptain Kool kicks Molech in the back. Asherah finds a lead pipe, and swings it at Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool goes down. Molech now standing. Molech picks Kaptain Kool up, and tosses him into the restroom. Molech grabs the trash can and hits Kaptain Kool in the head. Molech picks up Kaptain Kool and tosses him into a restroom stall. Molech grabs Kaptain Kool’s head and shoves it in the toilet.)
Jack: I smell poo-poo, daddy!
Bud: Well, Molech does call him "KRAPtain Kool".
Intern Boy: Hey, if you got to go, you got to go.
Bud: No shit!
Jack: I don’t know. You might want to ask Kaptain Kool about that.
Jim: I’m surprised that these two men can fight like this for so long.
Bud: Ahh, if you keep bench pressing that 100 lb., you might be able to someday as well.
Jim: Really?
Jack: Yeah, if you say so.
Jim: OK.
(Kaptain Kool elbows Molech in the stomach. Kaptain Kool now standing. Kaptain Kool tosses Molech into the wall. Kaptain Kool picks Molech up, and tosses him out of the restroom. Kaptain Kool then tackles Molech. Kaptain Kool punches Molech in the head. Molech rolls over and starts punching Kaptain Kool in the head. Now both men are standing. Kaptain Kool tosses Molech into the wall. Molech goes down. Asherah low blows Kaptain Kool. Kaptain Kool goes down. Now Molech standing. Asherah stomps Kaptain Kool in the groin. Molech grabs Kaptain Kool and drags him towards the parking lot. Asherah picks Kaptain Kool up, and stabs him in the side with her dagger. Molech grabs Kaptain Kool and tosses him onto a car. Kaptain Kool kicks Molech in the head. Asherah runs over and grabs a fire extinguisher. Molech tries to supplex Kaptain Kool, but he couldn’t lift him. Asherah sprays Kaptain Kool with the fire extinguisher. Molech picks Kaptain Kool up, and slams him onto the car.)
Jim: They can’t do that!
Jack: They just did.
Jim: That’s a rental car. You know how much the repair bill’s going to be?
Bud: Who cares?
Jim: I do! It was MY rental car!
Jack: You can drive?
Bud: Like I said, Who cares!
(Asherah hits Kaptain Kool in the head with the fire extinguisher. Asherah and Molech both grab Kaptain Kool. Asherah and Molech then slam Kaptain Kool through the windshield of the car. Kaptain Kool is bleeding. Molech grabs the fire extinguisher and hits Kaptain Kool in the back of the head. Kaptain Kool rolls off of the car, and onto the floor. Asherah gets into the car, and starts it up. Molech picks Kaptain Kool up and slams him into the car. Kaptain Kool goes down hard. Molech drags Kaptain Kool’s legs in front of the car.)
Jim: Oh, no! What are they going to do now?
Jack: Something tells me that Asherah isn’t going out for delivery.
(Molech waves to Asherah. Asherah then drives the car over Kaptain Kool’s legs. Asherah then parks the car on top of Kaptain Kool’s legs. Kaptain Kool screams out in agony.)
Jack: Ouch! That must have crushed his legs!
Bud: And she parked it on top of them to.
Intern Boy: Remind me never to go around her when she’s in a bad mood.
Jack: Same here!
Bud: Me two! Damn, that must hurt!
(Molech gives Kaptain Kool a leg drop. Molech then stomps Kaptain Kool in the head. Asherah then finds a chipper shredder.)
Jim: What? Now, they are using a chipper shredder?
Jack: Nothing beats a Troy Built.
Jim: That’s for lawn care!
Bud: I guess you never heard of the phrase, "your ass is grass, and I’m the lawnmower", huh?
Jim: Yeah, just that I didn’t think that someone would actually take it literally.
(Molech then takes the fire extinguisher and hits Kaptain Kool with it. Asherah turns the chipper shredder on. Molech continues to hit Kaptain Kool with the fire extinguisher. Asherah runs over to the car and starts it up. Asherah drives the car off of Kaptain Kool’s legs. Molech sets Kaptain Kool up for the Sacrifice. Molech then stomps Kaptain Kool in the head. Asherah stomps Kaptain Kool in the stomach. Molech takes Kaptain Kool to the shredder. Molech picks up Kaptain Kool. Molech throws Kaptain Kool into the shredder. (Ding, ding, ding).)
Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, Molech!!!
Jack: No shit, Harlie!
Jim: Oh! Crud! I hope Kaptain Kool is OK.
Bud: Here comes the security team to take care of the matter.
(Samuel Adams and the rest of the security team run out to the parking lot. Sam Adams proceeds to handcuff Molech and Asherah, as the rest of the security team removes Kaptain Kool out of the shredder.)
Jack: Damn! Kaptain Kool actually survived that?!
Bud: He looks severely injured.
Jim: At least the paramedic’s are here to help him. See what I mean?
(The paramedic’s put Kaptain Kool onto a stretcher. They then lift him up and take him towards a nearby ambulance.)
Jack: Hey! Wait a minute! What’s that!
(Abaddon, Warlok, and Fireball run out to the parking lot, and attacks Sam Adams and the security team. Abaddon takes the handcuff keys from Sam Adams, and takes the handcuffs off of Asherah and Molech.)
Jim: At least they’re not trying to hurt Kaptain Kool anymore.
Bud: Yeah, can we get a camera on the ambulance?
(The camera then zooms in on the ambulance. The paramedic’s finish loading Kaptain Kool into the vehicle. The driver’s and the passenger’s door then open, as Satan and Spear step out of the ambulance. The Demonic Empire then proceeds to run away from the ambulance.)
Jack: The Hell are they doing?
Jim: I don’t like the looks of this!
Bud: Please don’t tell me that they did something to that ambulance.
(As the Demonic Empire runs from the ambulance, the ambulance explodes into a gigantic fireball. Parts of the ambulance fly throughout the parking lot.)
Jack: HOLY SHIT!
Bud: GET HIM OUT OF THERE!
(The camera fade’s out.)
Bud: Fans, we apologize for this incident. This was just supposed to be just a match between Molech and Kaptain Kool, but not this.
Jim: The Demonic Empire has gone too far. Someone needs to stop them.
Jake: But who?
Jim: That I don’t know.
Bud: Fans, we have some grave news. Kaptain Kool did not make it out of the ambulance. We here at the P.C.W. and H.W.A. give our regards to the family of Kaptain Kool. We would like to honor him now with the ten-bell salute.
(The crowd grows silent as the ring bell dings. (Ding)... (Ding)... (Ding)... (Ding)... (Ding)... (Ding)... (Ding)... Suddenly, the TV screen lights up.)
Warlok: Welcome fans to another fun filled edition of "Demonic Escapades".
Fireball: I am your host, Fireball, along with my fellow Demonic Empire friends, brought to you live via a stolen P.C.W. video camera.
Warlok: And let’s take you now to the man of the hour, Molech!
Molech: Thanks, Fireball, and Warlok. First, I’d like to say that I am kind of upset about the death of my fellow wrestler, KRAPtain Kool.
Warlok: Yeah, so am I. When that ambulance blew up, I thought to myself, "Damn it! I forgot the marshmallows!".
Molech: Well, besides that, I am upset that he didn’t put up a bigger challenge.
Fireball: I see. And now, let’s talk to your accomplice, the lovely Asherah!
Asherah: Yes, Yes. Thank you and I love you all.
Fireball: So, Asherah, what do you think of this casualty?
Asherah: Well, personally, I don’t see why everyone is upset. We gave KRAPtain Kool a fair warning. He just simply refused to take it.
Fireball: Thank you, Asherah. And now, we take you to the man who made this all possible, KRAPTAIN KOOL!
(Camera zooms in on Kaptain Kool’s charred cadaver.)
Fireball: So, KRAPtain, do you have any comments at this time?
(The camera still focuses in on Kool’s burned body.)
Fireball: Hey, come on, man. We’re waiting for an answer.
(The camera still is on the dead body.)
Warlok: No comments at this time?
(Camera still focuses on the lifeless body.)
Fireball: Well, I don’t know if he has any comments, but at least he’s "well-done".
Warlok: I like mine "extra crispy". But now, for the leader of the Demonic Empire, Satan!
Satan: Thank you, gentlemen. Let this be a new mark for the Demonic Empire. Defy us, and you WILL parish!
Fireball: And now we must return you to your regularly scheduled program.
Warlok: But fans, please stay tuned as you will see our buddy, Spear, beat the shit out of The Demise!
(The camera then focuses back on the announcing booth.)
Bud: Talk about mean.
Jack: Yeah, they even had to show the burnt body. Now, I’m too disgusted to drink my beer.
Jim: Like I said, the Demonic Empire needs to be stopped.
Bud: Let’s just go to the ring.
The Demise vs. Spear
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match for the North American title. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 225, from Parts Unknown, The Demise!!! (crowd cheers!!)
("Uptown Anthem" plays as The Demise enters the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And his opponent, weighing in at 225, from New York, he holds the NORTH AMERICAN title belt, a member of the Demonic Empire, Spear!!! (crowd boos!)
("War Pigs" plays as Spear walks to the ring. The rest of the Demonic Empire watch from the walkway entrance. The Demise strikes Spear in the elbow. Spear grabs The Demise's arm and strikes his elbow. (ring, ring, ring) Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) The Demise takes Spear off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Spear is up again. (..2) Spear runs and tackles The Demise. Spear punches him in the head. (...3) Spear knees The Demise and rolls back to his feet. The Demise gets up. (....4) Spear kicks The Demise in the head. (.....5) Spear and The Demise move back to ringside. Spear and The Demise move back into the ring. Spear measures The Demise up and drops a closed fist. The Demise gets back to his feet. The Demise side slams Spear. The Demise stands up. Spear gets back to his feet. The Demise goes for a figure four. Referee Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... ... Spear tries to escape. ... Spear is fighting the hold. ... Spear is fighting the hold. Spear escapes. The Demise tackles Spear to the mat. The Demise gets up. Spear stands up. The Demise punches Spear in the head. The Demise kicks Spear in the stomach. The Demise kicks Spear on the mat. Spear moves back to his feet. Spear flips The Demise to the mat. Spear and The Demise go to the floor Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) )
Jim: They are going to be counted out!
Bud: Come on Demise. Kaptain Kool didn’t die for nothing.
Intern Boy: Do casualties happen frequently here?
Jack: Not since the Rock, but that’s a different story.
( (..2) Spear stomps The Demise's head. The Demise climbs to his feet. (...3) The Demise low blows Spear. Now Spear standing. (....4) Spear shoulder tackles The Demise. (.....5) They head back into the ring. Spear fist drops The Demise on the mat. Spear gets up. Spear low blows The Demise. Spear uses a belly-to-belly suplex. The Demise is down. Spear goes for a pin. Earl Hebner counts the pin. ...1 ...2 The Demise kicks out. Spear puts The Demise in a sleeper hold. Referee Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... ... Spear breaks the hold. Spear and The Demise go to the floor Earl Hebner starts the count (.1) (..2) Spear punches The Demise in the head. (...3) Spear slaps The Demise in the face. Now Spear standing. (....4) The Demise forearm smashes Spear. (.....5) The Demise takes Spear into the ring. Spear takes a slap to the face from The Demise. The Demise is up again. The Demise takes Spear down with a knee. Spear is back on his feet. Swinging Neck-Breaker from The Demise takes Spear down. The Demise fist drops Spear on the mat.)
Jim Been: The Demise sure is giving to Spear.
Bud: Well, The Demise has a lot of determination against the Empire. I guess Kool’s death just made him more determined.
(Spear connects with a flying knee. The Demise goes down. The Demise is up again. Spear delivers a kick to the head of The Demise. The Demise stands up. The Demise kicks Spear in the head. The Demise covers Spear hooking the leg. Earl Hebner counts. ...1 ...2 Spear kicks out. Spear stands up. Spear delivers a low blow to The Demise. The Demise is up again. Spear executes a neck-breaker on The Demise. Spear puts The Demise in a reverse chin lock. Referee Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... Spear tightens the hold. ... Spear tightens the hold. ... Spear breaks the hold. he Demise climbs to his feet. The Demise tackles and begins punching Spear. The Demise applies an arm wrench to Spear. Spear stands up. Spear slaps The Demise in the face. The Demise slaps Spear in the face. Spear piledrives The Demise headfirst into the mat. Spear stomps The Demise. Spear knees The Demise and rolls back to his feet. Spear runs in and leg drops The Demise. Spear measures The Demise up and drops a closed fist. Spear gets back to his feet. The Demise moves back to his feet. The Demise is put in a Sleeper Hold by Spear. Referee Earl Hebner is checking for a tap out. ... Spear tightens the hold. ... (AHHHH!) ... Spear tightens the hold. ... Spear tightens the hold. ... ... The Demise tries to escape. ... ... ... The Demise tries to escape. ... (AHHHH!) The Demise escapes. Both men are on their feet. The Demise tackles Spear. The Demonic Empire walks down to the ring side. The Demise begins punching Spear. Asherah gets up on the ring apron. The Demise sets Spear up for the Piledriving DDT. Asherah distracts the referee. Abaddon sneaks up behind The Demise, and executes the Severed Head Supplex. Abaddon then rolls out of the ring. Spear sets The Demise up for the Back-Breaker. Spear covers. Earl Hebner counts. (..1) (..2) (..3).)
Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, and still NORTH AMERICAN champion, Spear!!!
Jim: Yeah, no thanks to the Demonic Empire!
Jack: The Hell are they doing now!
(The members of the Demonic Empire enter the ring. Abaddon sets The Demise up for the Severed Head Supplex. Molech then takes The Demise and gives him the Sacrifice. Warlok then gives The Demise the Sledgehammer Slam. Spear gives The Demise another Back-Breaker. Fireball gives The Demise a power bomb. Satan delivers the Devil’s Furry onto The Demise. Satan gives The Demise another Devil’s Furry. Asherah then joins the group, while carrying Warlok’s sledgehammer.)
Bud: Oh, No! Please tell me they’re not going to do to The Demise what they did to Kaptain Kool.
Jim: I don’t think that The Demise is too determined now.
Jack: Give him a few beers, and a half a million pain-killers, and he’ll be back in the ring.
Intern Boy: What are they doing now!
(Asherah steps up to The Demise and swings the sledgehammer at his head. Warlok then takes his sledgehammer, and proceeds to hit The Demise in the knee. Spear drags The Demise over to the ring corner, and applies a figure four to him around the ring post. Earl Hebner tries to make the Demonic Empire stop. Abaddon clotheslines Earl Hebner, and gives him the Severed Head Supplex. Abaddon then picks up the referee, and tosses him out of the ring. Fireball then walks over to The Demise, and starts stomping his head, as Spear continues to give The Demise the figure four. Spear lets go of the figure four, as Abaddon and Molech sets The Demise up for the Death Toll. Warlok then runs over and hits The Demise repeatedly in the knee with his sledgehammer.)
Jim: Would someone please make them stop!
Jack: Better shut up, Jim. Or else they might drag you into the ring as well.
Bud: Where in the Hell is our security team?
Jack: Who knows?
(Asherah stomps The Demise in the groin, as Warlok continues pounding on The Demise’s knee. Spear grabs a chair and enters the ring. Molech takes the chair and place’s it around The Demise’s leg. Warlok hands Abaddon the sledgehammer. Satan looks at The Demise, and spits in his face. Abaddon swings the sledgehammer at the chair around The Demise’s leg. The ringside area is then aware of a loud, and gruesome snap.)
Bud: My God! Did you hear that! The Demise’s knee just snapped.
Jack: Look’s like The Demise won’t be able to walk for awhile.
Jim: Someone needs to stop this madness!
Intern Boy: Wait! What’s that!
("This Means War!" by Petra plays as the crowd cheers frantically. The audience cheers even louder as Archangel enters the walkway.)
Bud: It’s Archangel!
Jim: And who’s that next to him?
Jack: It’s Revelation! He has returned!
(Revelation stands next to Archangel. The crowd goes wild. Revelation and Archangel walk down the walkway a bit, then turn back towards the walkway entrance.)
Jack: What? There’s more!
Bud: Look! It’s Phoenix!
Intern Boy: And the mystery woman!
(Phoenix and his mystery woman stand in the entranceway. The crowd cheers almost drown out the music! Phoenix and his valet walk down and join Archangel and Revelation.)
Jack: There’s your answer, Jim. They’re going to stop this madness.
Jim: About time!
(Revelation speaks to his comrades, and then they all turn and run to the ring. Abaddon steps out of the ring and runs towards Revelation and Phoenix. Archangel swings around and German Supplex’s Abaddon into the guardrail. Molech runs towards Phoenix and the mystery woman. Phoenix drops to the ground and gives Molech a drop tow hold. Revelation runs down and gives Warlok a Silencer. Now the Demonic Empire, Revelation, Archangel, Phoenix, and the mystery woman are all at the ringside area. Abaddon and Archangel continue to fight. Phoenix and Molech continue to fight. Warlok is lying on the ground. Asherah runs towards the mystery woman with her dagger. The mystery woman grabs the pitcher of water from the announcing booth, and tosses it on Asherah. Revelation enters the ring. Fireball charges at Revelation. Revelation spins Fireball around and gives him a DDT.)
Jim: Yeah! That’s right! Teach them a lesson!
Jack: Damn right! Hell, I can hardly hear myself with this crowd cheering.
Bud: Now THIS is what I call wrestling.
(Suddenly the arena lights go out as Satan’s laugh fills the stadium. The ring erupts with fire as the lights return. The Demise, now laying on the mat, is covered with a pentagram. The Demonic Empire is nowhere to be seen.)
Jim: Good! The Demonic Empire left!
Bud: Phoenix is calling for a mic.
(Phoenix, Revelation, Archangel, and the mystery woman all stand in the ring.)
Phoenix: A Revolution is upon us!
(Phoenix hands the mic to Archangel.)
Archangel: A new breed of Warriors are born!
(Archangel hands the mic to Revelation.)
Revelation: Thus, there is the birth...
(Revelation hands the mic to Phoenix’s mystery woman.)
Avenging Angel: Of the Warrior’s Clan!
(The crowd goes wild!)
Bud: Oh, Hell Yeah!
Jack: Fans, you heard right. There is a new stable in the P.C.W./H.W.A., and they are here to stop the Demonic Empire.
(The Warrior’s Clan leaves the ring, and help escort The Demise to the locker rooms.)
Bud: Wow! So, Phoenix’s mystery woman is known as the Avenging Angel.
Intern Boy: She looks pretty hot too!
Jack: Yeah, I know.
Bud: Fans, we are running low on time. So we go to the ring now for our main event of the evening.
Grim Reaper vs. Porn Star vs. Real American
Harlie Davidson: This match is a Standard Match for the PCW & HWA Heavyweight title. Coming to the ring first, weighing in at 325, from Death Valley, a member of the NWO, Inc., Grim Reaper!
("Undertaker’s theme" plays as Grim Reaper enters the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: The second in this three way match, weighing in at 225, from Las Vegas, also member of NWO, Inc., Porn Star!
("Some Hoes For You" plays as Porn Star enters the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And third, weighing in at 275, from Venus Beach, CA, another member of NWO, Inc., Real American!
("I'm too Sexy" plays as Real American enters the ring.)
Harlie Davidson: And now, for the thousands here in at Los Angeles, and for the memory of Kaptain Kool; LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
(Grim Reaper checks out the ring. Porn Star checks his boots. Real American checks his boots. (ding, ding, ding) Porn Star takes Grim Reaper off his feet with a short-arm clothesline. Porn Star fist drops Grim Reaper on the mat. Porn Star is up again. Porn Star knees Grim Reaper and rolls back to his feet. Grim Reaper is up again. Grim Reaper tackles Porn Star to the mat. Porn Star moves back to his feet. Grim Reaper tackles Porn Star and pummels his head. Grim Reaper rolls onto Porn Star connecting with a knee. Porn Star reverse DDT's Grim Reaper's head into the mat. Porn Star gives Grim Reaper a crotch chop. Porn Star kicks Grim Reaper on the mat. Porn Star applies an arm wrench to Grim Reaper. Grim Reaper climbs to his feet. Porn Star drives a forearm into the head of Grim Reaper. Porn Star kicks Grim Reaper in the head. Now Grim Reaper standing. Grim Reaper side slams Porn Star. Grim Reaper gets back to his feet. Real American picks Grim Reaper up and side slams him to the mat. Real American stands up. Now Porn Star standing. Porn Star punches Real American in the head. Porn Star delivers a low blow to Real American. Porn Star stomps Real American's head. Real American lifts Porn Star up and drops him on his knee. Real American fist drops Porn Star on the mat. Real American is back on his feet. Porn Star climbs to his feet. Real American drives a forearm into Porn Star. Porn Star runs and tackles Real American. Porn Star punches him in the head. Real American delivers a kick to the head of Porn Star. Now Porn Star standing. Grim Reaper is back on his feet. Grim Reaper low blows Real American. Real American gets up. Real American runs and tackles Grim Reaper. Real American punches him in the head. Grim Reaper kicks Real American in the head. Now Real American standing. Real American piledrives Grim Reaper into the . Grim Reaper gets back to his feet. Grim Reaper takes a slap to the face from Real American. Real American is up again. Real American takes Grim Reaper off his feet with a short-arm clothesline Real American stomps Grim Reaper. Now Grim Reaper standing. Grim Reaper connects with a flying knee. Real American goes down. Grim Reaper kicks Real American in the stomach. Real American executes a belly-to-belly suplex on Grim Reaper. Grim Reaper is back on his feet. Porn Star lifts Grim Reaper up and drops him on the . Grim Reaper moves back to his feet. Porn Star shoulder tackles Grim Reaper. Porn Star chants start. Porn Star stands up. Grim Reaper gets back to his feet. Porn Star hits Grim Reaper with a something. Earl Hebner sees it. (ring, ring, ring! Earl Hebner calls for the bell. Porn Star was disqualified.)
Harlie Davidson: The winner of this match, and still PCW & HWA Heavyweight champion, Grim Reaper!
Jack: And according to the stipulations, Real American and Porn Star must leave the P.C.W./H.W.A.
Bud: Fans, we are out of time. Please join us next week on Friday Night Blood Bath, were the Grim Reaper will make an important announcement, plus the debut of a new wrestler from the NeWA!
Jack: Thank you fans, and good night!