Valedictory Speech, Draft Two

From the book "Be Mine" by: Jane McFann

. Family, faculty, friends, and fellow members of tonight's graduating class:
. Tonight, as we move into adulthood, diplomas in hand, we face a world that is in frightening disarray. The adults who have come before us, and those who are now in charge, have left us with a daunting list of problems, which we, as the future caretakers of society, must address. As we sit here tonight, I would like you to consider the challenges that await us......... We must:

save the rain forests
repair the hole in the ozone layer
buy cruelty-free products
save the whales
stop nuclear testing
recycle
watch our cholesterol
conserve energy
use a rag, not a paper towel
reduce our red meat consumption
find the children on the milk cartons
stop police brutality
boycott dolphin-killing tuna companies
lower taxes
help the homeless
rally against rape
strive for racial harmony
monitor the international balance of power
use white toilet paper with no dyes
have safe sex
stop censorship
listen to music at a safe volume
buckle up; it's the law
find a cure for AIDS
take care of our parents in their golden years
contribute to the Social Security fund
and, of course, last but not least,
just say no.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm exhausted already. So, go forth into the world, remembering that commencement is not an ending, but a beginning.
Good luck.
We're all going to need it.

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