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INDIANAPOLIS (Oct. 4, 1998) -- Same old, same old from the RCA Dome Sunday. Another game, and another locker room filled with mumbled regrets, soul-searching over a failed effort, examinations of self-inflicted wounds and a contrite rookie quarterback. Only this time, the hushed and humbled were in the visitors' locker room. When last we saw the San Diego Chargers and quarterback Ryan Leaf, he was spiking the ball after scoring a meaningless touchdown in a meaningless exhibition game in August. On an October Sunday when it really counted, Leaf spiked only the opportunity to keep his forever measuring stick, Peyton Manning, and the Indianapolis Colts winless. The Chargers lost a 17-12 game that easily could have been won had it not been for penalties and turnovers, including a couple of big blunders by the rookie QB. Sound familiar? Leaf's first-quarter interception and fourth-quarter fumbled handoff to Natrone Means led to 11 Colts points. Leaf has had a hand in 11 turnovers in the Chargers' past three games, all losses. Leaf, alternately serenaded and booed by the crowd, did have one major moment -- a 56-yard strike to wide receiver Charlie Jones that set up a touchdown and pulled San Diego to 14-12. But overall, his performance -- 12-of-23 passing, 160 yards, several overthrows, no touchdowns, one interception, four sacks -- was well below par. Or just about what you would expect from a rookie NFL quarterback. "It feels pretty terrible," Leaf said. "I don't feel good about anything right now. I've just got to keep my head up and keep fighting, keep trying to improve a little bit every week." Leaf said he would understand if his teammates were "losing confidence in me and my abilities, the way I've performed the last few weeks." They aren't. "People are making too much of this Ryan Leaf thing," said Means, who bludgeoned the Colts' defense for 130 straight-ahead yards and made you wonder why coach Kevin Gilbride didn't give him the ball more than 31 times. "He's not the only guy out there on offense. We're all struggling. We have to rally around him, and he's got to pick it up and be more productive in all phases." "I'm not going to lose confidence in him and hopefully nobody else does," wide receiver Webster Slaughter said. "You've just got to keep supporting him, and hopefully the next time we'll all play better." And certainly, the breakdowns were widespread. San Diego wasted a good defensive effort and a solid running game with the three turnovers and 12 penalties for 95 yards, one of which wiped out a 55-yard Leaf touchdown pass to Bryan Still. Afterward, the Chargers claimed the Colts' Monty Montgomery held Slaughter on what could have been a tying two-point pass conversion, but the no-call didn't cost San Diego the game. "We've got to take it out of the official's hands," Leaf said. Leaf congratulated Manning but did not divulge the postgame conversation the two shared at midfield. That it was their first regular-season matchup "didn't have any relevance," Leaf said. "(Manning) wasn't lined up at linebacker. I know he's struggling, same as I am. I hope he does well, and he did well today." Leaf said his interception was one he wished he could've pulled back the instant it left his hand. On the fumble, Leaf appeared to trip Means as he gave him the ball. Means' knee came up and knocked the ball loose as he stumbled. Both wanted to look at the film before assigning blame. Still, Leaf -- who earned the nickname of "Cryin' Ryan" after a run-in with the San Diego media -- said he had "fun" for the first time in three games, even reveling in being the lead blocker on a reverse. "I've got to enjoy this game," he said. "I can't allow the added pressure of outside things to get on you, because it's always going to be there no matter what happens. "But nobody can tell you what this is like." Wanna bet? Peyton Manning could. |